Update 2024-03-27: Greatly expanded the "Samples" page and renamed it to "Glossary".
Update 2024-04-04: Added 5 million mid-2011 posts from the k47 post dump. Browse (mostly) them here.
Update 2024-04-07: Added ~400 October 2003 posts from 4chan.net. Browse them here.

Welcome to Oldfriend Archive, the official 4chan archive of the NSA. Hosting ~170M text-only 2003-2014 4chan posts (mostly 2006-2008).

Threads by latest replies - Page 12

!bgREVLN8FU

!bgREVLN8FU No.6226547 View ViewReplyLast 50OriginalReport
NEW THREAD: thread #7 for those keeping score

old thread here: >>6224729

refer to pics for events preceding this thread
315 posts and 54 images omitted
!skram7qxhM

!skram7qxhM No.6224729 View ViewReplyLast 50OriginalReport
Since no one else is starting a new thread:

>>6223566

Thread 6
321 posts and 47 images omitted
!!eV5jpQkm++b

!!eV5jpQkm++b No.6221345 View ViewReplyLast 50OriginalReport
Further discussion of the best thread in 4chan history.

The ben ("neb") trying to fuck his sister chronicles.

Thread number 4 all others archived. Hopefully ben comes home and this is still up.
382 posts and 72 images omitted

No.6157254 View ViewReplyLast 50OriginalReport
Okay, so here's a weird won for ya. Multiple times, when I've been in bed for maybe ten minutes and haven't fallen asleep, my girlfriend will quietly ask, 'Are you awake?'

Now, this happens just about every night. I have a hard time sleeping anyways, so it's common for me to be sitting there, eyes closed, trying to sleep and thinking about tons of shit.

Usually I'd respond and we'd chat a little bit, or she'd ask some random question. Sure enough, ten minutes or so later, she'd ask again. I'd respond and we'd chat a little. Anyway what I think happened is that she started waiting for fifteen or twenty minutes after going to bed to ask, and then maybe waiting even longer after if I was awake to ask again, if she even does.

But the very first time that I didn't respond to her asking if I was awake, she slowly sat up, hesitated, asked again...at this point I was just curious to see what was going to happen and had initially not replied because I was tired and actually just wanted to sleep.

Anyway, she grabbed a small flashlight we have on the nightstand and went under the covers. She spent what was probably a half hour inspecting my junk.

Um...wut. Anons, femanons, do any of you do this to your partners? Like...the fuck. She's never asked me about this or brought it up, and our sex life is more or less tame, but not because I demand it to be. Because neither of us has pushed for more.
168 posts and 28 images omitted
!!mgMKicKl27e

I'm a rapist, what do?

!!mgMKicKl27e No.6116168 View ViewReplyLast 50OriginalReport
>a friend calls in the middle of the night
>she's scared of her creepy neighbor
>her bf is on vacation in Germany or something
>I pass by
>I go and talk to the neighbor, he's crazy but harmless
>suddenly I'm a knight in shining armor

>till that point all is good

>I want to leave but the fucking subway is closed
>she offers me to stay
>okay nice, we watch a movie
>she clings on my hard cause she's scared of zombies
>she's in her sexy pajamas
>being the dumbass I am, I misread ther signals
>I make a move
>ie jump on her and crunch her under my weight. I'm not very good at it
>she's too surprised to react
>finally she tries to push me away
>my brain is off, I keep going
>I take her pants off and penetrate her
>it lasts for I think 10 minutes maybe less
>a few seconds after I ejaculate, the truth hits me
>I just raped her

>she's in shock, doesn't say a word
>I babble and leave, I walk on the streets and call a cab
>it's now the morning, I freak out and asks for advice here

I don't know what I should do. I ruined her life and probablu mine too. Pic related, where I'll be soon.
296 posts and 23 images omitted
!RaGERRuxPQ

!RaGERRuxPQ No.6089961 View ViewReplyLast 50OriginalReport
MY GIRLFRIEND RAPED ME WHEN I WAS DRUNK.

Not needing advice on if I should dump her or not, because I totally did and I'm NOT changing m mind. Fucking cunt. What I DO advice on is how I can make sure she won't fucking tell anyone.

My girlfriend has always been a fucking freak but you know I thought that worked out to my advantage. She always liked to try new things, loved to look at porn and would even want to watch porn with me. The only thing I didn't like about her was that she got off to gay animu porn. Well, whatever right, she sucks a mean dick and did so daily, so I wasn't complaining.

For a while she's been bugging me to let her try anal on me. She thinks it would be omg hot like in the gay animu shit she watches. She always swears I'll like it. But I don't want stuff up my ass, so I of course refused. That didn't stop her from trying.

Last night we got drunk, or should I say, she got buzzed while I was shit faced. She handcuffed me to the bed, so I'm thinking "alright, kinky sex time!" and at first that's what it was. Then she asked me to try anal, and even in my shitfaced state I said no. But she gets her dildo out and starts bringing it near me, at which point I'm starting to freak out.
367 posts and 59 images omitted
!WAFFLEinfU

!WAFFLEinfU No.6078839 View ViewReplyLast 50OriginalReport
>laying in bed at night trying to sleep
>remember something really embarrassing that you did when you were younger
>FUCK
326 posts and 68 images omitted
!KOnataLAGw

!KOnataLAGw No.6038190 View ViewReplyLast 50OriginalReport
/adv/ I need someone, maybe a shrink, to tell me why I'm doing what I'm doing.

I've been bullying this nerdy little shit for the past 6 years. On a good day I'll just make him drop his books/trip him, call him a faggot or a little bitch. On a bad day, I'll actually beat him up. We're in college so I can't do it as much as I used to, but I still manage. Just like Friday I took all his homework and threw them away. I found it fucking hilarious.

The thing is, I don't really know why I do this. For some reason, this kid just makes me so unbelievably angry. He's never done anything to me, he avoids me like a plague, and yet I still find myself wanting to punch him in the face. It's been like that since I met him.

On the outside, I'm the ideal student. No one knows I beat this kid up. I get near perfect grades, I'm in a lot of clubs, I'm popular and nice to everyone (except the kid of course). I never really thought about it until today, but I don't get why I feel the urge to beat this kid up. I think I might actually be starting to feel bad about it too.

Any help would be appreciated.
347 posts and 22 images omitted
!KOnataLAGw

!KOnataLAGw No.6000266 View ViewReplyLast 50OriginalReport
Lots of greentext time. Help me /adv/.

>meet girl, like her a little
>neither of us want a relationship
>really want to fuck her anyway, turns me the fuck on
>decide to try for it
>takes a while, turns out shes not an easy slut. just makes me want to fuck her more.
>after a while of trying, she agrees on a date with me pretty much stating 'if anything happens between us though, it has to be casual. i really cant handle a relationship right now with school and work but i like you and im horny'
>THATS OK WITH ME we're totally gonna fuck like rabbits
>feel like a boss

sweeeeet. anyway, the date was gonna be this Friday. We decided on it a week and a half ago. I take this time to go travel and fuck a butterface I met off the internet because I had the money. Probably abit unfair calling her a butterface. She had about 6/10 face and 10/10 body. All round hot girl, really. A great time was had. More green text to come.
55 posts and 6 images omitted
!Lnj8ZEhAWs

!Lnj8ZEhAWs No.5912269 View ViewReplyLast 50OriginalReport
Femanon here. I'm at work and I really want to masturbate. Actually, I really want to grab my co worker, shove him into the spare office and ride him like a walrus.

What do?
283 posts and 31 images omitted