How does a man HAVE sex with a woman?

Sure, we all know you put the ponos to her vagoo then JAM IT IN, but I'm sure as hell there's more to that...

But what?

For the record, before anyone asks, I am 17 and I am a virgin, but I'm educated (in the least) about sex and it as an overview, but not specifics, which is why I'm asking...`

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>cute, petite girl with very long hair
>rarely goes out as herself
>as in, she masks herself with short-haired wigs and boyish clothes so that she looks like a scrawny hipster dude
>friendly, sweet, intelligent, passionate, but also shy and reserved as fuck
>nerdiest person I've ever met-- loves science, plays Pokemon every chance she gets, and general vidya. Also happy to learn about other peoples' interests and share hers without it turning into a who's-the-nerdiest pissing contest or being a general bitch about it.
>gets along with other shy, awkward, nerdy people. Doesn't care when they spaghetti or slip up.
>is only outgoing and social/extroverted when she disguises herself

What would you do, /adv/?

And also, can any of you explain this behavior?

Girl advice thread

Ask, I'll do my best to help,

Some basics:

1. Be ready to walk away, fear of loss is great for passion. Nobody gets worked up about sure things.

2. Talk just enough to get her talking. Girls like the sound of their own voice. Change topics if she hits her ex or anything that would wreck the mood, and have some interesting banter, but generally, the less you talk, the better. Trust me.

3. Do things. Girls like adventures. Even walking and looking at interesting things/people/whatever will do. Go to many places, the more places you go to, the better. Extra points for fun stuff, think paintball, laser tag, tennis, active stuff.

4. Look your best. This means trim your nose, eyebrows should be a plural, clean shoes, and good style on clothes, it doesn't have to be expensive, just look good.

5. Look at her eyes and lips a lot. Touch her as much as you can in elbows, shoulders, and guide her by the small of her back when going places. Ladies always first.

6. Opportunity comes only once. IF the iron is hard, you strike it. If the Iron gets cold, you are done.

7. The one will be with you, catering to your every wish and making you happy. She not with you/making you happy? Shes not the one, reroll.

8. There are more females, esp attractive ones, than men, remember this.

9. Don't settle. You'd think landwhales are easier, this is a lie, they are actually harder, and the only payoff is misery. Go for what you actually want.

ITT: We share what we feel is good advice for doing well in college...Academically, Socially, whatever...

I'm guessing a lot of us are starting school in a few weeks, so this may be helpful.

I met a guy in October, we really hit it off and became close friends, I'd even call him my best friend at one point. He was the only person to honestly care about how I felt or how I was doing. I grew to like him and in January he kissed me, we confessed our feelings and it turned out we liked each other a lot.

He called me the most beautiful girl in the world, said I was the first girl he's ever loved and followed it up by saying he didn't want to be anything more with me because "I can do better" and he doesn't want to "Hold me back." He thinks like this because I've had some success as a musician and some people treat me like I'm famous or something.

I've never felt the way I felt about him and since I've moved away from him to LA life has been hell, how do I get him to stop being so insecure about himself and help bridge this disparity in social status he thinks we have?

Shit /adv/ I might be in a lot of trouble and could use some input.

So I have genital herpes, it's not that bad, once every now and again it breaks out in blisters that quickly scab up and then it goes away in a few days. It's really minor and no worse than a rash tbh. It's located just above my pubic hair line and maybe 4cm by 4cm. Anyway, I have had unprotected sex with a few girls while I was having an outbreak. They usually don't notice or when I say it's a rash where my belt was rubbing and I have a nickel allergy they usually accept it. Anyway one of the chicks I nailed and kept in contact with recently discovered she had it and busted me. She's now gone fucking crazy and is threatening to take me to the cops, I kinda laughed it off but a few bros told me that it might actually be a crime. I can't have my life ruined because this fucking whore can't handle a little fucking rash and scar every now and then. Also, if I'm fucking arrested my girlfriend will find out, we have been together for 6 years and we live together, I can't hide that shit from her. I've considered paying that whore a few hundred dollars to fuck off but she's changed her number and blocked me from Facebook.

What the fuck do I do /adv/ I'm pretty fucking scared.

>Go to friends engagement party last night
>"I won't be drinking guys, I think I should stop because nothing good ever comes of it"
>They beg me all night to have a drink with them
>Get into it
>Before I know I'm the fucking DJ and I don't know what the fuck I'm doing on stage, holding the mic and screaming "ARE YOU FUCKING READY" over and over again
>Continiously keep slipping and falling down in front of everyone.
>Eventually puke on stage, everyone is freaking out screaming
>feeling the puke coming again, I press my lips tightly and eventually say " It's okay guys, I swallowed it."
>everyone is filming me and laughing
>Took my shirt off at some point because I thought I have muscles
>For some reason continue drinking
>friends begging me to stop, the fiancee of my friend is in tears
>"Please man, just go I'm begging you."
>"No man, tonight- WE'RE GETTING FUCKED UP."
>Eventually get thrown out
>Some random dude from the same party hits me up
>We go to a taco bell
>Start flipping tables and the guy is cussing out niggers
>We get a shitload of food in bags
>Lose it all at some point after we got a bottle of jack
>Hit on some random bitch, try to be "confident" she slaps me
>Continue puking my shit out

ITT: A lonely, kissless virgin types up all the non-sexual things he'd like to do with a girl


>Get drunk and make a pizza

Hey /adv/,

Does anyone here have any experience with a therapist who isn't simply getting paid to listen and offer no advice or any sort of tips on coping skills for dealing with assholes and stress or a pyschiatrist who only sees you as a guinea pig to pump you full of experimental drugs and fuck up your brain chemistry even more than it already is?

I wasted $90 for one session and I can't get a refund. I feel as thought I was totally ripped off. I would show the transcript of the conversation that transpired, but it's personal. In summation, I rambled about my problems and the therapist was just asking a lot of unrelated questions and saying "yeah" and "uh huh" alot. Finally at the end of the session he gave me some shit advice about moving to a new place or dealing with the people causing me grief. What kind of shit advice is that? He also asked me what I would do in the situation? Isn't that the reason for me asking for fucking help? Why would I spend my hard-earned dollars asking for help only to have my question answered with another question?

I'm pissed off now.

I just don't know what to do, /adv/. I have been with my fiancee for 8 years now and I love her as a person. We've been engaged for about 1.5 years of that time and are wedding is in June.

However, from the time that I proposed to now, she's steadily gained a very significantly large amount of weight.

I don't know what to do about this - I'm not sure if this is a deal breaker or if she'll ever lose the weight, or if she'll just gain more and more and more...

Please help me.

Pic very related...