>>66>>69I'm back, I'll use this name from now on, I think I'll have some thing or other to report every month or so.
We never did really cut our relations, we talked like nothing happened, avoiding the subject and acting more or less like just before we started going out. I did that until now. I knew I changed from when our story started, and not overall, but many aspects of my personality changed for better or worse, and I did notice after we break up that the only possible way to bring her back to me was to take my time, look deep into my heart and discover what was wrong (seriously, I made sure she wasn't cheating me or something, so there MUST be something that changed for the worse that made her stop loving me) and "fix" it.
So I took my time without telling her to rediscover me, to grow, to be again the man she once loved, but with 2 years worth of experience, and I set the 19th of august, the day we could've celebrated our second aniversary, as the day of our "reencounter and reveal".
I asked her out for coffee to talk and stuff, we talked about the most trivial stuff, and, in between, we talked about how we felt about this all, about my theory that was my fault she stopped loving me, and more important than all: we both agreed we needed our time to think about us, not separated at all, but it was impossible for any of us to retake our relationship in our current mental states, nor with us but with any third party. So we'll be friends, best friends, for now.
She doesn't love me now, but she isn't closed to the idea of letting me make her love me again.
I love her, but I need to know if it's for the time we spent together, because I lover her for what she is, or if it's just a really strong "I miss being with her" feeling.
I will give her a book I wanted to give her just before we break up, because she will give me a gift she promised me before this too. And we'll be going for chinese food (not the american types, here this places aren't what you would call fast food, most of these places are serious and expensive as fuck) in the future, so I'll tell you it all went on that day.
To conclude: I'll take the challenge this year, I'll reatake her heart, I don't have any security that it'll work but believe, I'll not fucking surrender until she tells me to stop trying. I'll win.
