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>be 17
>go to first frat party
>girls everywhere, kinda surprised
>leave main-party dorm to take a break and catch my breath
>guy fingering girl in hallway
>nofuckingway.jpg
>sneak over casually to take a look
>she's cutest girl in class, he's the football team captain, nobody but us three
>she clearly feels harassed
>so this is what rape looks like
>walk up to the drunk-as-fuck dude with his hands down her pants, groping her
>girl suddenly bursts out "HELP ME ANON!"
>mr. alpha turns around to look down at me, dude's a foot taller than me
>"You got something to say 'bout this?"
>awkwardly mumble "umm.. no... I guess.."
>Grabs my neck and throws me to the ground
>"You saw nothing, faggot"
>crawl away in shame, dude proceeds to grope her
>as girl screams for help get sudden adrenaline-rush
>grab a random plank lying on the floor
>lunge at would-be rapist and violently swing plank, hitting the back of his head
>caught him totaly off guard, he falls over and immediately blacks out
>poke him with the plank, no reaction
>girl goes "you think his dead?"
>"nah, I think his lights just went out"
>she jumps right at me to hug me and kisses me on the cheek
>"thanks so much Anon"
>we leave the dude lying there and get back to the party
>I grab a drink and try to process all that just happened
>a few mins later she comes up to me, has obviously had a few drinks too
>doesn't say anything, just grabs my hand
>leads me to her dorm
>opens the door to her bedroom, pushes me down on the bed
>pushes her face next to mine whispering "I really want to thank you for what you did for me, he was a real douchebag"
>pulls my belt buckle open and lowers my jeans
>spaghetti falls out of my pockets
>try to clean it up with my jeans
>doesn't work, try run out of bedroom
>I slip on the spaghetti
>I hit my head and violently start shitting a constant stream of spaghetti
>the stream propels me through the roof and into outer space
>I crash into the sun
>I ded
