Update 2024-03-27: Greatly expanded the "Samples" page and renamed it to "Glossary".
Update 2024-04-04: Added 5 million mid-2011 posts from the k47 post dump. Browse (mostly) them here.
Update 2024-04-07: Added ~400 October 2003 posts from 4chan.net. Browse them here.
>This is you. You're on your way home from work. (Weapon is concealed) >You're walking downtown. The streets are empty, foggy and it's about 5pm. >That crosswalk siren for the deaf won't shut up. >Down the street you see a woman standing at the bus stop. >As you approach her, she remains still. Do you... A) Ignore her and continue walking. B) Tap her on the shoulder. C) Yell to get her attention.
I started dating this girl in 2007 and we split earlier this year. At the beginning of the relationship, she claimed to be sterile. I made it clear I didn't want kids, and I viewed her sterility as a major plus in the relationship.
What I discovered a couple of weeks ago has made me physically ill at the thought of it, and I actually puked the night I found out. Athena was pregnant on multiple occasions, and she hid the pregnancies from me on 25 occasions. Each time she got pregnant, she got the embryo transplanted into a surrogate without my knowledge, never more than 5 weeks into the pregnancy so there were no physical warning signs for me to pick up on. Her parents are extraordinarily wealthy and paid for the procedures and surrogate mothers. I got home from work one night and my girlfriend and her stuff were gone. Left on the table was a note telling me that I would be held responsible for the child support for 29 children (25 singleton and 4 twin pregnancies). 17 girls and 12 boys, ranging in age from a few months to almost 6 years old. She left me at least one photo of each child, their birthdate, birth weight, blood type, finger and foot impression, and a copy of each of their birth certificates. The note went on to explain that if I cared at all about my children, I would play an active role in their lives and voluntarily provide $10,000/year in financial aid for each of the children, a total of $290,000/year, or it would be taken by force through a court.
I really have no doubt I'm the father of every one of them, biologically speaking, but this woman went out of her way to force me into EXTREME fatherhood. How can I avoid legal/financial responsibility for what is obviously an act of malice on her part?
/b/ please help. so i decided to let the dog suck my cock and for some reason he freaked and bit down hard and now it looks like this and i wont stop throbbing and i cant tell my parents what the fuck do i do?
>be me >be on 4chan >see funny thread >start to sweat >my eyes twitch nervously as I scan the room for signs of danger, muscles tensed for movement >all clear >my fingers fly across the keyboard >ALMOST THERE >YES >hit reply >"you must wait 10 seconds to post" >NO NO NO THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING >Scan the thread again >still all clear, what I wanted to say has not been posted >type in wrong captcha >type in wrong captcha again >full panic mode >gritting teeth, a snarling sound emanating from mouth, eyes bloodshot and focused >FINALLY >OH NO WAIT I FORGOT TO ADD SOMETHING >ABORT ABORT ABORT >YES >quickly add what I was going to say >Mother pops in. "Everything okay son?" >"SHUT THE FUCK UP MUM I'M ON THE MOST IMPORTANT SITE ON THE INTERNET" >Hit enter >What the fuck
