Update 2024-03-27: Greatly expanded the "Samples" page and renamed it to "Glossary".
Update 2024-04-04: Added 5 million mid-2011 posts from the k47 post dump . Browse (mostly) them here .
Update 2024-04-07: Added ~400 October 2003 posts from 4chan.net . Browse them here .
Welcome to Oldfriend Archive, the official 4chan archive of the NSA. Hosting ~170M text-only 2003-2014 4chan posts (mostly 2006-2008).
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>tfw you check your cosplay makeup at the end of the day
Anonymous
>>6673402 Please get a new DS; that one hurts to look at...
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>6671768 ;_; I know that feel gurl, short girls can wear heels or other things to look taller but we can't do much
I'd swap having longer legs for being shorter in a heartbeat if I could
Maguma !ftEuMagUmA
Quoted By:
>>6673653 I'm borrowing it because mine is broken and this is condition it was in. It works? Good enough for me.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>6671956 Arda in a nutshell.
Dr. Robotussin
Quoted By:
>That feel when can't find anyone to room with. >That feel when you finally do you still don't have enough people for the room. >That feel when the other people said they would think about it never get back to you and everytime you ask them about it on skype, text they pretty much just ignore you. >When they do they just say I HAVE NO IDEA STILL!
Anonymous
Quoted By:
ITT: Big breasted cosplayers (this is still allowed, right? not offending anyone?)
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>6553478 Are those even real? They look too perky.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>6579880 thats what my sister always says that my other sister should suck up having huge boobs and she is a 48J and my other one is 40G. She had a reduction and went to a 48DDD and her chest looks scared up now. Its kinda creepy seeing it.
Anonymous
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>tfw no gf with huge boobs to sleep soundly with at night.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>tfw being able to motorboat yourself. <3
Washu !R7sqSH2wmU
Quoted By:
>Old Thread >>6301679 This just happened today
>5 teens running around the store > imagining squirting them with a bottle of water like you would to a cat >"How much do you need?" >4 yards! >blue fleece >"What are you making?" >TEEHEE, YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF IT! >"try me" >HOMESTUCK! YOU WOULDNT KNOW WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT >"Let me guess... you are cosplaying Nepeta?" >Oh, yeah! I guess you do know! >"You don't need 4 yards" >YES I DO! She has a HAT AND TAIL! >"Um alright, if you think you need 4...heres 4" >OH NO, I ONLY HAVE 20$ I need to call my mom to bring me more money >As they waited the continued to be loud and noisy for a whole hour
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>6317309 That would definitely make sense if she was attempting to buy something, but the company I worked for didn't sell anything; they only offered a free service. Because we deal with money, there's a certain amount of security that's needed to ensure things don't go wrong. By taking the risk of entering information that she was unsure of, she would be increasing the chance of losing a lot of money. Aw hell, what am I saying? People are too stupid to think that far ahead.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
well, I worked Layaway at wal-mart last year...and there were quite a few horror stories...nothing weebish, but I had a lot of really pissy parents.>stocking MLP toys when layaway buzzer goes off >instantly walks back and begins helping customer >customer "its bout time, I ave been standing back her for ages" >realizes customer is very drunk >"my appologies ma'am," sees she doesnt have anything with her "is there....anything I can help you with?" >gives me a looks of disgust....I clearly must be blind or stupid or both. >"whats it you think I want! I want a layaway!" >kind of baffled at this answer... >decides to explain what layaway is, makes sure to repeat everything at least once, if not more. >finally asks if she had any other time she would like to come back to do her layaway using the excuse that we were under stocked on quite a few things that day >she looks at me again like I am retarded. >"no, I need it for tomorrow, I have to lay it away today" >realizes she is under the impression that layaway means that you can take something home without paying for all of it right away...I explain that that is not the case and start to tell her exactly what it is. >gets cut off mid sentence when she starts grunting angrily >tries to think of something to say to calm her down seeing as she is not actually saying anything >stands there like helpless moron waiting for this woman to stop grunting >she leans forward and throws up a mixture of poorly chewed wendy's and vodka onto the counter >mfw I can only look at the french fries that must have been swallowed whole >I call for my manager >woman stands there for a moment before wandering out of the store....she never came back to do a layaway...
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>starts pulling into parking space >some bitch comes in on the other side >PULLS THROUGH INTO THE SPACE I AM PULLING INTO >takes a deep breath >turns car stereo volume all the way up >blasts the tail end of "killing in the name of" >shoots daggers from my eyes as she gets out of the car >rolls down the window >entire parking lot listens to my car screaming "FUCK YOU I WONT DO WHATCHA TELL ME!" >sits there until it says "MOTHER FUCKERRRRRRR" >drives off happily to find another parking space
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>6317309 notalwaysright was good but it's dissolved into
'my the customer abused me for being gay and a guy defended me and we're dating now'
'something happened and i had a really witty response and the customer was so TOLD'
'i am omg unique looking dyed hair piercings and someone commented on it'
they're all formulaic made up ridiculous stories now.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
I feel really bad when we get Spainish customers and I say my little piece in English, but they don't reply, so I continue the transaction without saying a word and when were done they say "thank you" in English and walk off. Like could you at least acknowledge I said hello before you say good bye.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
So, I hear you guys have some good con horror stories...
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>6120785 >I know I suck at stories Honestly I'd be happy with a paragraph break in there somewhere
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>6107807 Quinton was a total bro at Tomodatchi FEST, I couldn't see him hitting on underage girls. Not to mention that he mostly hung around with attendees rather than acting like a douche.
Kyonkicchi
Quoted By:
>>6120501 The moral of these stories is that communication can defuse things before they become horror stories. I know they aren't horror stories, they aren't meant to be. I guess the majority of people here are just too bloodthirsty to learn something.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>6120505 >dipping pocky in chocolate Do you have a mini chocolate fountain in your pocket all the time or are you thinking of Yan Yan biscuit sticks?
I'd rather eat dried squid like a boss. Sweets are gross.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>6100901 >>6100905 >>6100913 did the girl even try to make a new DA with a new email etc? Seriously...I think alot could have been avoided if she did that.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
Con/Weeaboo horror story thread? Horrible con story thread. Make me feel better about being completely unable to attend any real cons this year due to financial reasons with some horror stories. Starting off with Hipster Ariel story.
Anonymous
>>5981998 As a rule of thumb, all tales of people doing (without any consequence afterwards) things that would usually land you in jail are highly suspect. Not to say they are impossible, but they should be treated as amusing tales unless proof is provided.
Anonymous
>>5982010 regarding
>>5990471 That said, I've been myself in a few highly unlikely cases, including a time I had to actually stand watch in a silly armour, with real weapons at the ready, in front of the girls bathroom at a certain event in case a certain girl could be actually attacked by a certain group of jerks (no less), so I know that the unlikely can happen. Even so, I don't expect you to believe my tale outright, nor should the writers of those other unlikely tales expect me to believe them outright... but you better be packing.
>mfw I'm not troling you Anonymous
>>5990482 Well, don't leave us hanging. Give us the details, tell us the story!
Anonymous
Quoted By:
When was the deviantart account banned?
Like hentai but for real
Quoted By:
>>5990546 sorry, it's not /cgl/ related. Notice I mentioned "event", not "cosplay con".
Anonymous !!ejua3rxYLfa
Quoted By:
Old one is Autosaging like the Titanic. NEW Weeaboo horror storied thread.
Eriah Kai !!p1bnYMLI0lV
>>5828364 Dear lord it is. Yup, that's def her.
Eriah Kai !!p1bnYMLI0lV
Quoted By:
sorry about that double post, internet here is bad, didnt update.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>5828410 That's odd, must've accidently deleted the post. Here is the vid again.
http://youtu.be/VaPE6cQOTqg Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>5824491 >>5824497 >>5824505 >>5824510 >>5824516 >>5824524 Fucking yandere material right there.
How you were able to tolerate her for that long I cannot even begin to fathom.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>5825800 So, uh, which one of you did Chelsie fall for in the end?
ValleLator !nCGvC6eOuQ
Quoted By:
We got a good, we got a bad, let's hear the awkward!>Wonder Con 2012 >walking around with friend in Green Lantern >talking and joking in Artist's Alley >she says something, at same time barely hear something >loudly, Archer style NOOOOPE>I walk off laughing at her >"dude that was kind of mean" >"what? get over it ho," >"no that guy was asking you for a picture and you were like NOPE" >oh god what have i done >go back to the artist, awkwardly explain what happened >it sounds like a shitty excuse >he takes my pic anyway I felt kind of bad. When I turned around he was looking kind of sad. BUT TELL YOUR STORIES, /CGL/ I'M SURE YOU HAVE BETTER ONES
Anonymous
>>5829348 >Almost won the idol contest, but then the organizer found out she isn't a promiscuous whore like the rest of them DAT JELLY
Gropey the Clown !!z3Lf/vIW4kd
Quoted By:
>>5816583 ...Where was this and what did the guy look like? I've used that line before...
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>5825723 How did he stick his thumb in it and survive? Shit's like 10 million degrees.
Anonymous
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>Super shy super awkward >>First costume I ever made myself (I did a shit job). >>Heading for elevator and random guy jumps in front of me on one knee with a ring and asks if I would marry him. (probably his favorite character or something?) >>OH GOD WHAT DO I DO? >>"U-uhh I'm sorry.. uh.." >>Walk past and get in elevator, he puts out his hand to hold it open longer. >>"At least take the ring!" >>"Umm oh no that's okay, you keep it." >>"Please! Don't worry it wasn't THAT expensive, just take it. I want you to have it." >>"Sorry I have a boyfrie-" >>His friends start telling him to let me go and laugh at his failure. >>Feel guilty, yet terrified for the rest of the night.
Anonymous !nCGvC6eOuQ
Quoted By:
More bad cosplay is needed. +20 Points if its recent. This pic was taken at megacon 2012
Anonymous
>>5791356 >Implying that's any worse than JNig's pikachu Anonymous
>>5799759 >implying she's cosplaying pikachu Anonymous
>>5799778 I know it's a Pichu. But it looks remarkably like JNig's Pikachu, doesn't it?
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>5799785 Except JNig has the body to pull off a 'sexydesu' cosplay, had a correct color combination and had a good tail/ears.
Anonymous
Anonymous !Hc6EcVkstI
Quoted By:
Don't know if this is already posted here but.. Dat waist.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
jesus this is brilliant
Anonymous
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>5700749 Isn't that also from tomie?
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>5700749 That thing just scared the fuck out of me. Where is it from?
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>why is koti so pretty >we must destroy her >with our satire with /x/ elements >satire >shitty >satire >satire >lol
Anonymous !EKlieJQ7Jw
Quoted By:
I saw a tirade of /fa/ and /cgl/ comics and pics about a week ago, and I couldn't stop laughing. Does anyone happen to have any of those pics or new ones?
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>5690168 Then they're retarded.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
/v/irgin here; a question if i may? i usually frequent just /v/, but i saw some of these a while back and thought they were kinda funny. i'm still new to it, but why in most variations is /v/ gay? does it have to do with /v/'s obsession with traps?
Anonymous
Quoted By:
I'll post what I've got that I haven't seen in the thread
Anonymous
Anonymous
Quoted By:
welp nevermind, limit reached