/fit/ - Fitness » Thread #12311082

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Anonymous !OoIRATEb6o Sat 28 Apr 2012 13:01:00 No.12311082 View View Reply Original Report

>having luch with friends
>talking about my friends new girlfriend
>i mention i havent had a girlfriend for a couple of months now
>fat girl who was walking by must have overheard
>she comes up to our table and starts hitting on me
>after a minute or so, she says "why dont you give me your number? we can go out and have dinner, i know this awesome resturaunt"
>my mind goes blank
>friends are silent, all have a 'wtf' look on their faces
>i get up and walk away without saying a word
>call friends a couple of minutes later
>fatty left after calling me names and swearing
>go back and finish lunch with friends

this happened earlier today, i didnt know what to do

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 29 Apr 2012 21:57:00 No.12329755 Report

Quoted By: >>12333226

>going into grocery store post-lift because I ran out of milk
>old lady is right behind me so decide to hold door open for her
>4 huge niggerwhale cunts practically knock her down to come out with bags full of nasty food prepared at store (this grocery store sells entire fried chickens, pizzas, "salad", etc.)
>none say excuse me, thank you, show any human decency

Fuck Philly. I decide to go to school here to get away from fat niggers and just end up even more surrounded by them.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 29 Apr 2012 21:58:00 No.12329766 Report

Quoted By:

>studying for finals and lots of parties imminent
>go from strict PSMF diet to eating random carbs and energy dense drinks
>not lift in 3 weeks; had the time, had trouble getting from A to B
>Break my NoFap habit with some seriously degrading porn, after a 30-day streak, which was after a 45-day streak, twice, in a week
>lost a bunch of sleep
>whatever little definition of abs I was starting to get is now bloated and also muffn top, bleak fat

I am the fattie, I am going to absolutely destroy myself with cardio, lifting and sex after finals

Hermy !Rk2HermyGU

Hermy !Rk2HermyGU Sun 29 Apr 2012 22:01:00 No.12329817 Report

Quoted By:

'dat flight response

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 29 Apr 2012 22:09:00 No.12329940 Report

Quoted By:

>>12311082

Hey... I just met you, and this is kind of crazy, but here's my number. Call me, maybe?

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 29 Apr 2012 22:12:00 No.12329989 Report

Quoted By:

>At work in the breakroom
>Large man trying to get massive man to be healthier in general
>Hey you should workout!
>Bad knees.
>Get brace, start slow!
>Can't afford.
>Try biking!
>Nowhere to put a bike
>Walking...?
>Nowhere to walk

Jesus CHRIST this dude had every fucking excuse

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 29 Apr 2012 22:20:00 No.12330134 Report

Quoted By:

Only 2 FPS worth mentioning happened in my life.

>be 90's summer
>be at riverside with friends
>fast food errywhere
>see 2 planets sitting at picnic table, eating some mexican food, roll full of meat and sauce
>hambeast bites in, half the sauce drips down the elbow
>curses, reaches for napkin
>other landwhale screams "no, dont waste it!"
>proceeds to lick the sauce from her friends sweaty fatty elbow
>mfw

And another one, happened at London Victoria train station:

>be at mens room
>fatasfatass strolls in the stall with backpack
>hear backpack zip opening, wrapper crunching
>wash my hands and leave
>later see the lad exiting mens room, still chewing, holding McDonalds brown paper bag
>mfw he takes another double cheese out of it and continues to eat

i hope he caught some sort of disease from 9000+ people shitting there daily.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 29 Apr 2012 22:25:00 No.12330204 Report

Quoted By:

Shit, how do you guys acquire fat people stories? I have like two. And yes we've all seen the fatsos on the motorized carts at the grocery store.

>in class
>fat korean chick walks in
>pulls 2 packs of pop tarts out of her purse
>eats all 4 pop tarts

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 29 Apr 2012 23:06:00 No.12330799 Report

Quoted By: >>12330814

Well, why not. Let's hear the tale of the lazy eyed ever eating manimal who from here on shall be called Hans (germany, we're all called Hans)

>sitting in seminar at university, studying philosophy (inb4 everything)
>Hans makes his first appearance, waddeling into the seminar way too late
>he's probably around 5' 8'' 220 lbs, has very bright pinkish skin and his right eyelid just hangs there, which gives him a constant look of a tired Kirby who got punched in the face
>carries a bag of light snacks like Croissants and sandwiches stuffed with cheese and meat.
>Class is logic, professor continues the class after Hans found himself a seat
>not 5 minutes pass till the crackling of Hans' paper bag of carbs sounds through the room
>starts munching away on his Croissant

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 29 Apr 2012 23:07:00 No.12330814 Report

Quoted By:

>>12330799
>professor obviously annoyed, after a few more minutes he asks Hans to stop eating
>Kirby starts arguing, he needs the energy from the food to stay concentrated
>everybody is annoyed
>eventually he puts the paper bag away into his backpack, in a loud and long process.
>sits silent for 5 minutes
>lifts his arm
>”Yes Hans?”
>goes on a completely off topic ramble about philosophy which has nothing to do with the text we’re talking about whatsoever
>eventually professor cuts him off but stays nice about it even if he obviously starts to dislike Hans
>Hans repeats his random rambling about three times in the next two hours, till the professor just avoids even looking into his direction
>Hans doesn’t even study philosophy but keeps showing to seminars
>after the seminars he stands outside pulls out a fucking cigar which he shoves half way into his mouth to suck on hit till its dripping with his spit (sometimes he would carry a pipe instead wtf?)
>also attempts to talk to professors after the seminar, which try to avoid them

This fucking guy.. too lazy to write down the other storys right now, but there will be more.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 29 Apr 2012 23:20:00 No.12331023 Report

Quoted By:

I finally have a funny one...

>Me driving on the freeway
>Pull into far left lane to pass semi-truck
>Fat women in van ~40 ft behind me but catches me cuz shes going so fast
>I get past semi and go back to middle lane
>She turns to me and flips me off (Why, I dont know..) and speeds away
>Ghost cop car infront of me
>She gets pulled over
>Laughed all the way home

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 30 Apr 2012 00:54:00 No.12332547 Report

Quoted By:

I have three minor ones from my past. During early middle school I got pretty chubby.

>In 6th grade math, we had to do some weird assignment that I barely remember
>it was about solving math problems to get to a secret treasure, and we decided what the treasure was on our individual assignments
>I decided that the treasure would be the power to get free food, any food you want, as long as you show the treasure they will give you free food

>A bit later, that summer, I've visiting relatives in Canada
>I do some biking with my cousins (not far at all, just around the neighborhood)
>My uncle says that we deserve a meal after that exercise, he lets me pick it
>I pick a bunch of fries from the freezer and have him cook them
>I reward myself with a plate of fries after embarrassingly light cardio
>I suggest that we make this a system

>A bit later, I am at the mall with my mother
>I loved getting chicken from this japanese restaurant in the food court
>I end up dropping a piece on the table
>the public table that lots of kids smear their greasy hands all over, no doubt
>I fight with myself to not impale it with my fork and eat it
>lose
>end up having an upset stomach that night

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 30 Apr 2012 01:14:00 No.12332861 Report

Quoted By: >>12333575 >>12333798

I hate that sickly sweet ammonia smell fatties always have. Do they just piss themselves all the time? My room mate smells like this and everything she touches becomes perfumed with the sick smell of urine and sweat.

>want to do laundry
>pull her clean clothes out of dryer (she never takes them out herself)
>dryer smells like urine
>her clean clothes smell like urine
>the laundry room smells like urine
>she babysitted her friend's child, child says she stinks

It's a new low when a full-time bed-wetter says you stink.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 30 Apr 2012 01:33:00 No.12333226 Report

Quoted By: >>12333351

>>12329755

got luck in Norway

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 30 Apr 2012 01:40:00 No.12333351 Report

Quoted By:

>>12333226
>inb4 breivik

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 30 Apr 2012 01:41:00 No.12333368 Report

Quoted By: >>12333406

>>12311401
i think scotland does, not sure

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 30 Apr 2012 01:44:00 No.12333406 Report

Quoted By:

>>12333368
Germany wins on the continent. When the Brits are included they rule supreme.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 30 Apr 2012 01:48:00 No.12333470 Report

Quoted By:

>>12311150
dahts nahys

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 30 Apr 2012 01:49:00 No.12333492 Report

Quoted By:

>>12333333

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 30 Apr 2012 01:50:00 No.12333512 Report

Quoted By:

>>12311193
he was just joking, you took it so cereal. All fit no character.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 30 Apr 2012 01:50:00 No.12333516 Report

Quoted By:

>300 pound couple (each not total) on some curl machine bullshit
>do 3 reps of 2 sets each of like 10 pounds
>do this for every single stupid machine there
>WHY AIN'T I LOSING WEIGHT?

Any exercise is better than zero exercise but jesusfuck if you're trying to lose weight you gotta do a little more than arm machines.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 30 Apr 2012 01:51:00 No.12333527 Report

Quoted By: >>12333550 >>12333583

Haha. I was reading this thread last night. Good to see it's still here.

Literally just got home from the gym about 10 minutes ago.

>I always spend 20-30 minutes on stationary bike or run for 15-20 mins on treadmill for warm up. Gets the blood movin'
>On bike today
>Center of Milky Way Galaxy on elliptical in front of me
>Watching Food TV
>fuckyoudoin.jpg
>Stops every 30 seconds or so and stares at TV
>On Elliptical entire time I'm at the gym, so about 1.5 hours
>Leaving, getting some water and she's still standing on elliptical drooling over some stupid bakery show.
>tfw most Airmen I know are fit and in shape but their wives are all hamplanets

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 30 Apr 2012 01:53:00 No.12333550 Report

Quoted By:

>>12333527
>>tfw most Airmen I know are fit and in shape but their wives are all hamplanets
Lol some guys have no fucking standards. More /fit/ whores for us I guess.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 30 Apr 2012 01:54:00 No.12333575 Report

Quoted By:

>>12332861
^THIS

Nurse -> tfw no matter how long the bed bath is, you feel like they're only marginally cleaner than when you found them anyway.
Because they still smell.

My theory is they can't get beneath all the folds, / reach below their waist.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 30 Apr 2012 01:55:00 No.12333583 Report

Quoted By: >>12333609

>>12333527

>I always spend 20-30 minutes on stationary bike or run for 15-20 mins on treadmill for warm up. Gets the blood movin'

True or broscience, i dont do cardio at the beginnig, bad or good?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 30 Apr 2012 01:56:00 No.12333609 Report

Quoted By:

>>12333583

Experiment. Do whatever works better for you.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 30 Apr 2012 02:09:00 No.12333798 Report

Quoted By: >>12333833

>>12332861
If I were you I'd start going to a laudrymat.
I'd suck if your clothes started smelling like that too.
Is she not using washing detergent and expecting plain water to clean her clothes?

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 30 Apr 2012 02:09:00 No.12333801 Report

Quoted By: >>12333830 >>12333866 >>12335410

>Just this semester had to take a gen ed sociology course
>Teacher overweight
>Takes entire last day of an hour and a half long class to go over her own "research"
>It's about plus-size models
>It turns out that fat people aren't ugly, it's just society that makes us think this way
>has PHD in excuses

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 30 Apr 2012 02:11:00 No.12333830 Report

Quoted By: >>12334055 >>12334061

>>12333801
>has PHD in excuses
That made me lol hard.
What gen ed class does she teach? I'm guessing its sociology or genders study.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 30 Apr 2012 02:11:00 No.12333833 Report

Quoted By:

>>12333798
Nah she uses soap. I mean hell, she's so lazy I end up doing her laundry to get it out of the room. Otherwise it just sits in the room like a putrid mass of shit. I add shit tons of soap and fresheners. It all still smells like piss. She's too fucking lazy to fold it and just throws it on the ground in front of her door.

>tfw thousands of fatty stories when having a fatty room mate

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 30 Apr 2012 02:14:00 No.12333866 Report

Quoted By:

>>12333801
>has PHD in excuses
>mfw

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 30 Apr 2012 02:15:00 No.12333883 Report

Quoted By:

>>12311136
"sorry i'm way to busy to start anything"
just say something nice

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 30 Apr 2012 02:16:00 No.12333902 Report

Quoted By:

>>12311150
that's great man. proud of him. i've seen that happen. dude lose 100 pounds in 6 months.it wasn't healthy to do that but he is dedicated
thanks for the story

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 30 Apr 2012 02:27:00 No.12334055 Report

Quoted By: >>12334754

>>12333830
It was a sociology class called Politics of Identity.
What it came down to basically was how everyone is equal and we can't judge.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 30 Apr 2012 02:27:00 No.12334061 Report

Quoted By:

>>12333830
It says what class right in the first line of the story

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 30 Apr 2012 03:13:00 No.12334754 Report

Quoted By:

>>12334055
I thought sociology was about studying social patterns in a society, not establishing eternal truths?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 30 Apr 2012 03:14:00 No.12334781 Report

Quoted By:

>>12315697
>Quiktrip
You lucky bastard, I grew up in Tulsa, and when I moved away QuikTrip was one of the things I really miss. They don't know how to do convenience stores out here (TN, AR, most of KS, etc...), QT should come show some people how it's done.

Just sayin'.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 30 Apr 2012 03:21:00 No.12334906 Report

Quoted By:

>be former chub... 6'5 260 in january
>now lifting and 215
>strict 1700 cal a day with all macros hit for the last 2 months
>splurge yesterday and over the course of the night drink 8 beers, have a whole medium pizza, and drink about 2L of skim milk
>MFW feel like a bloated fatfuck pig ready to pop today
>Get up at 7am and walk 18 holes on golf course
>Go lift after
>Log on and read this thread
>Never again.

Th-thanks for keeping me on track bros. Fatty relapse moment.

Yokeness Monster

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Yokeness Monster Mon 30 Apr 2012 03:30:00 No.12335041 Report

Quoted By:

>>12324543

wat.jpg

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 30 Apr 2012 03:33:00 No.12335087 Report

Quoted By:

>>12328434
Wow.
This is actually true, now that I think about it.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 30 Apr 2012 03:45:00 No.12335285 Report

Quoted By:

>At university health clinic to have a doctor check out some rash on my hand that I've had for a while (turned out it was just eczema)
>Have to get weighed like usual
>Nurse takes me back to the scale to get weighed
>it's out in a hallway near some of the patient rooms
>asks me to sit down on the couch couch next to it while she goes to get something
>Doctor talking to patient in a nearby room, but they left the door open
>Tells her that her breathing issues are due to her weight and he offers to give her some materials on nutrition, dieting and exercise to help her lose weight
>She flips the fuck out at him and starts yelling about him being a bigot and threatens to sue the school
>She storms out of the room and I see her and she's probably the fattest person I've ever seen in person

WHAT'S THAT DOC? HEALTH ISSUES BECAUSE OF MY WEIGHT? FUCK YOU THAT'S JUST YOUR OPINION MY WEIGHT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 30 Apr 2012 03:49:00 No.12335346 Report

Quoted By:

>>12314592
you are a fucking idiot. get of /fit/ forever faggot

Yokeness Monster

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Yokeness Monster Mon 30 Apr 2012 03:53:00 No.12335410 Report

Quoted By:

>>12333801

>PHD in excuses
mfw

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 30 Apr 2012 04:26:00 No.12335925 Report

Quoted By: >>12336186

>>12325329
I thought this was a joke. Is this not a joke? Because if that's real, then I'm going pro-ana on some people.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 30 Apr 2012 04:40:00 No.12336169 Report

Quoted By:

>>12325329
i call bs

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 30 Apr 2012 04:41:00 No.12336186 Report

Quoted By:

>>12335925
I'm almost absolutely sure it's a joke, yes.

Doughboy !7JXwNLbhDE

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Doughboy !7JXwNLbhDE Mon 30 Apr 2012 04:43:00 No.12336203 Report

Quoted By:

>contact fat friend from years ago
>she's still fat and more depressed
>try to share my inspirational transformation with her
>she's impressed, but it inevitably leads into her moaning and groaning about her life
>suggest exercise and change of diet
>"it'd be too hard i can't afford my own food" etc etc etc
>explain I can barely afford to live, but do
>she won't consider getting a job
>she won't properly fix her sleeping habits
>she won't consider changing up her diet, instead choosing to defend the way she's eating now as if it has been working for her, but she's even bigger than before I left her life
>I get fed up and tell her to suck my butt and to quit making excuses
>she grows extremely passive aggressive despite admitting I'm right
>mfw I block and delete her again

It's always nice to check in and confirm I'm still doing better than that broad.. She thinks I'm gonna sit around and listen to her boohoo about her life being "hard"?

Fatties don't get that much recognition.
If she had a medical condition, sure,
but she blatantly admitted she's fat because she's lazy.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 30 Apr 2012 04:45:00 No.12336237 Report

Quoted By:

You see /fit/ it's actually quite simple.

Someone who is criminally insane has two options, prison or hyper obesity.

The lack of abstract intelligence and planning ability combined with the impulsiveness that is usually found in the criminally insane is exactly the same psychological profile as what causes people to consume calories equivalent to the energy requirements of nuclear submarines.
They both have no self control and require in the moment satisfaction at all times, If it wasn't food addiction that plugged this need it would be heroin addiction.
The same detachment from reality that gives a man the confidence to get into gunfights with the police is what gives fat bitches the ability to think layers of fat with thickness measured in feet can be considered attractive, despite what the mirror, scales, their eyes, bleeding toes, beat skipping hearts and the scathing remarks all of society tells them.

Doughboy !7JXwNLbhDE

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Doughboy !7JXwNLbhDE Mon 30 Apr 2012 04:46:00 No.12336252 Report

Quoted By:

>>12324543
I can't believe what I just read.
Goddess, I don't want to believe.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 30 Apr 2012 04:46:00 No.12336261 Report

Quoted By:

>Doing cardio at uni gym for cutting purposes
>HIIT on elliptical because treadmills are all taken by bunnies and too hot out to go running
>20 minutes in, a little human flavored beachball and friends enter the gym
>hops on the elliptical next to mine
>sets incline to 0, sets resistance to 0
>props himself up on the handlebars with his hand and flails his legs around for about 5 minutes
>friends come get him
>"let's go to mcdonalds now, I think we earned it"
>Human flavored beachball who hasn't broke a sweat, glazes over and starts cumming and farting all over the machine at the mere sound of "mcdonalds"
>mfw covered in beachball jizz

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 30 Apr 2012 05:11:00 No.12336571 Report

Quoted By:

Oh God this happened to me a few days ago.
>Have knots in my back from doing rows and pull-ups.
> Go to college-aged group at church.
> After church group we all hang out.
> There is one really fat girl in the group.
> I complain about the knots in my back and she offers to get them out.
> For some reason I say yes.
> Massage ensues, she sucked at massaging
> I politely thank her and go chill with friends
> She now thinks I like her because I let her give me a shitty back massage
What have I done?

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