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>At bar with family and friends, two cousins both male, best friend and five chicks >Yup, you guessed it: One is incredibly fat and incredibly annoying, Lardokov Gustav IV >One girl and I are hitting it off but every time it gets good like clockwork the fat bitch pulls her away >Tries to hit on my best friend, tries to deep throat a Corona bottle to impress him but ends up almost vomiting >We're all feeling good and I recommend we go to my place >Stop by McDonalds because Gustav needed to repel the Reich with nuggets and a double burger >Three bedrooms, large living room, we all have enough space >We're watching Boardwalk Empire and talking >Lights go off halfway through so I decide to slip into my room with chick >We make out, we fondle, we're fucking naked in no time >I'm literally prodding her when BAM, SWAT >Nope, Blubber Russia just kicked in my door >Grabs this girls hand while I've got her on her back, missionary >I kid you not says, "Girl, you don't want to do this. This is a mistake, you'll regret it. Come on lets go home." >Think I'm going to have to go off on Commander Gustav when suddenly: >Girl says "Gustav, for fucks sake I'm naked and horny. Shed some weight and you'll get laid too" >The Soviets have lost this battle, a retreat has commenced >Runs off crying >Fuck the shit out of her
Anonymous
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>>13231229 oh, and /r9k/ and /adv/ for that extra bit of misogyny
go now, you are almost complete
Anonymous
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>>13230925 can't look away Anonymous
Saw this one 10 minutes ago on facebook.>On facebook >Hamplant updates status >"At the gym working on mah fitness!!" >at the gym >on facebook making status
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>be girl >toga party >pass some chubby guy on the way in, he sees me and sticks one arm up in the air in some faggot pose >begin chatting with some 10/10 tall skinny guy, AMAZING abs, huge biceps >suddenly someone taps me on the shoulder >its the chubby guy again, gyno/10 >he starts hitting on me and I tell him to fuck off because he's fat >he starts screaming that he's "bulking" and that I should be happy he's not "autswitz-mode" like the 10/10 >me and my friends start laughing at him as he tries to show off his disgustingly big legs as he talks about "functional strength" >pull the 10/10 later that night >mfw
Anonymous
My mother used to tell "get a fat chick for a girlfriend, they have the nicest personality" and shit like that. Coincidentally my mother was fat for most of her life.
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>>13231425 At least she does something smart.
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>>13230079 >VY Canis Majoris What was that again
>google it Spilled milk all over my desk, lost hard
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>Last february >Carnaval (pretty much the dutch version of halloween) >Dressed as pic related, but sleeveless to show off dem arms >Danced with several girls over the night >One moment, I'm dancing with this girl, fucking hot and dressed in a female gladiator suit >We start talking a bit >She tells me she likes the arms, and wonders how great I look beneath the suit >"Guess there's one way to find out" >Suddenly, a fat girl shows up and asks the girl if we could leave >Girl says she's having a good time, says she'll stay with me >Fatty keeps insisting she comes with them >Girl sighs and says "fine". >Girl takes my hand and asks why I won't come along with them >Fatty says no, calls me a scumbag only looking for sex >lolwut? >Girl litterally says fuck you to fatty, takes my hand and we go to their place (fatty and the girl are roommates) >At their place, girl keeps saying that fatty is always like that >We chill for a bit, getting to know eachother, cuddling, kissing >Fatty comes home a few hours later with two other roommates >The two other girls are all like "Hey, male entertainment!", they don't mind me being there >Fatty is the only one making a problem >Girl pretty much says the same thing as in OP's story >"Lose some weight and stop being such a bitter bitch so you can get laid too" >She goes to her room pissed
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>Have fatty friend >Always complains about her attractive friends getting guys >Be at party >She brings cute 8/10 friend >8/10 gets along well with a bro >They're dancing and go to the front yard to have some time alone >In the meantime, fatty got drunk as fuck >Demands to know where friend is >Is told she's outside with bro >Fatty flips her shit and begins to storm through the house >I get in the way cos I don't want broseph and chick to have their night ruined >She rages and says i'm being condescending by telling her to calm down >Fatty bulldozes through me >Goes through front door and begins screaming at bro and her friend >Bro says "WTF, stop being so insecure" >UNLEASH THE KRAKEN >Shoves bro and calls him a pig >"Anonette, come on, we're going home!" >Bro gives chick a "i'll call you sign" >Fatty and friend go to fatty's place >Fatty passes out from drinking too much >Bro drives over and gets laid anyway
Anonymous
>be with fat bro >go to chick's house >chick is a 6/10, chick's friend is 4/10 >playing video games >6/10 starts hitting on me >not laid in while, only ottermode so figure what the fuck >fat bro has to leave >6/10 takes me back to her room >makeout, etc. >mid 69 and fatty knocks on the door >asks where the popcorn is >6/10 tells her it's above the microwaved >fatty can't find it >still 69ing >fatty comes in "I can't fi-" >fatty starts crying >"THAT ONE WAS MINE" >fatty steals my car to go home >call cops on fatty >made 69ing the 6/10 worth it.
Anonymous
Anonymous
I've never read a story of a fat guy getting analfrustrated over his bros getting some. It's ALWAYS the chicks.
Anonymous
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>>13232022 Iv'e only known one fat chick that was an exception to this rule. She would encourage her friends to go get laid by some fit guy they saw.
Anonymous
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>Hanging out with friends, have a target >fat girl being fat >be immediately rude to her >she fucks off
Anonymous
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>>13231512 The secret is an ex fatty. They where not beautiful in their teen and chance are they have to actually be smart, nice or something to have something. Most 10/10 girls are bitch, 11/10 are ex 5/10 + they have iron will and know fitness.
Anonymous
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>>13227862 >Stop by McDonalds because Gustav needed to repel the Reich with nuggets and a double burger You funny motherfucker you.
Anonymous
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>>13230244 Completefalsehoods/10
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>>13230015 My jimmies are equally rustled. I'd have kissed the other girl in front the fat fuck.
Anonymous
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>>13233788 No meme pisses me off more than that one.
Anonymous
>>13233788 Y U NO LOSE WEIGHT
Anonymous
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>>13230912 >taking jokes too seriously Anonymous
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>>13230244 > be 6'5 master race, 8% bf 130 lbs > fuck 7 9/10 > fattie comes in, i punch her in the mouth IT'S TRUE GUISE
0/10
Anonymous
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Op i can relate> be at party > 2 unknown girls somehow come in > I like fat/chubby girls > i talk to the chubby one and start making out and take her to the bathroom > start to get a blowjob > other bitch pounds on the door and says WE HAVE TO GO RIGHT NOW WE HAVE TO GO > "can you not just wait a minute" > Nope.jpg
Anonymous
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Why are fat women so bitter? You'd never see a fat guy try to break up a hookup, ever. Yet fat women are so fucking jelly (lol) every time one of their female friends gets with a guy..
Anonymous
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>be 17 >be aspie shit with girls >7/10 skinny bitch wants me >has friend who is overweight a bit and ugly as fuck >text chick and eventually meet up >friend is there >why >night does not progress as friend never fucks off >me too aspie to go for it anyway >see her around still 2 years later >still wanna tap dat tight ass and she has dat gap >wanna bunnyfuck her with my athletic physique now even more >apparently she got tit job, whatever she's skinny and they are perfect size, not small and perky, and large and attention distracting >meet her last summer in town after night out >start talking >''hey anon, you probably don't remember me'' >''of course I do'' >ugly friend butts in from down street ''you coming >GIRLS NAME which I have now forgotten<'' >''just a minute'' >tells me I'm looking good etc. >''yea'' >walk on
BiggerWigger !!bLLqGJZtdqI
ok time to counter this thread with some bro-mode fat girl stories. >head to friends house out in the boondocks for bonfire party >his sister is a massive, butch lesbian, strong-fat rugby girl >shes fucking hilarious, boisterous, heavy party drinker / beer pong champ >single handedly holds me upside down for my kegstand >she has tons of straight hot skinny friends >sets all the guys in our group up with one of her hot ass friends >everyone gets some action that night >mfw shes my favorite fat girl
Anonymous
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Daily reminder that black women were purposely bred to be large and obnoxious as to be the house nigger to control male slaves.
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>>13233811 that makes me wanna throw up
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>>13227862 I can't count the number of times, I've had a girl and her hambeast friend has taken her away because she wants to: "get drinks, got to the bathroom or go homeee, because he friend her".
My wingmen are useless. Why do they always have a fat/ugly friend.
Anonymous
ha I remember years ago at one of my friends babbys first alchohol highschool party>he was trashed >couldn't even move off a lawnchair he pulled into his living room >all of a sudden two fat girls and a skinny asian guy walk in >hay whur da party at y'all? >nobody really knows who they are >he recognizes them from his school >they begin picking through his refridgerator >grab more alchohol >grab cold ass chicken >begin taking shots and chasing them with chicken >this is disgusting >my friend finally musters up the energy to say something all from the comfort of his lawn chair >keep in mind this is typically a shy and good guy >"GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE YOU FAT FUCKING WHORES, GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT" >he keeps yelling get out even over their horrible wigger bitch slang insults >bitches and skinny asian fuck grab a bottle of malibu and fuck off >friend never even left that damn lawnchair until morning
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>>13235732 that's how it should be done. fuck fat bitches.
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why does every story consist of a fat people being on the tellers side of the story
Anonymous
I don't have much else to contribute but are all fat chicks habitual liars? Back in high school I used to like this hambeast (she's my friend) against my better judgement. Anyway, she tells me stories about how she used to get all these niggas going after her and I don't even know if thats true. Talked to her like 2 weeks ago and tells me she has like 3 guys that are trying get with her. She's cool but fuck she completely submitted to that whole fat people thinking.
Anonymous
>>13236112 Black guys like fat white women. It's the truth.
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>>13236149 Well I meant niggas as guys in general but yeah, I know thats true. She's had black guys over her and know this is true cause I've met em before.
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>>13233811 Well, there goes my appetite.
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>>13235499 >college >no gfs in our group of bros, except ones who are strictly off-campus >it's always a sausagefest at the pub >suddenly, one bro gets coed girlfriend, she's short and pretty damn obese >she joins us at the pub and we get to know her >grew up to resent other girls for being the sneaky bitches they typically are >intelligent, funny, nice and very much a bro >one night, we drunkenly crown her as one of the bros >she's moved half to tears I met her recently, a few years from graduation. She lost all that weight and became hot. I really am happy for her.
Anonymous
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>>13236149 no, black guys like white girls, but they're on a totally other ladder for them, so they have to work up from niggress to white whale
sage
Anonymous
Theres this fat bitch that I work with, and sometimes she ends up in front of me in small spaces, so I have to hear her talk. >be walking to the break room >fat bitch walking in front of me >huffing and puffing to get to her lunch or some shit >stops for a second, looks at me and says "Oh man, I can hear my knees crunching"
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>>13233788 Oh god, her face is so fucking funny!
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>>13227862 Thanks for that OP. I appreciate the historical references more than the mental picture of you (and a girl I guess) naked.
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>>13233811 You terrible, terrible person. I'm gonna lose gains for weeks now.
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>>13238754 >knees crunching
