Update 2024-03-27: Greatly expanded the "Samples" page and renamed it to "Glossary".
Update 2024-04-04: Added 5 million mid-2011 posts from the k47 post dump. Browse (mostly) them here.
Update 2024-04-07: Added ~400 October 2003 posts from 4chan.net. Browse them here.
Welcome to Oldfriend Archive, the official 4chan archive of the NSA. Hosting ~170M text-only 2003-2014 4chan posts (mostly 2006-2008).
This is a /fit girls thread, but with a twist. I am sick and tired of people posting pictures the size of two post-stamps put together. This is a HI-RES /fit girl thread. Because people shouldn't fap to post-stamps.
You're about to have your first kid. You get a test done and the kid has Down's syndrome. It's still early enough to abort, and theoretically the mom will go with whatever you decide.
>6.30am, using the gym at the hotel I'm staying at in Vegas. The place is empty >Bench press, have to use a fucking smith machine, horribly equipped gym >Hit the treadmill for 20 minutes after doing my lifts >Finish my workout, shower, make my way to hotel dining area >Giant fucking plate of bacon and pancakes, fruit, coffee >Adam calls me, "Traffic is bad, you'll be picked up half an hour earlier than planned buddy" >God damn it Adam >In the back seat of the Lexus reading random internet bullshit on my Iphone >Driver tells me we're nearly there >I'm Nervous >Haven't spoken to most of the guys in a few years now >Still, I get $150k to sit on a stage for 40 minutes >Arrive at the convention center, smile for the dickhead photographers as I enter >Petite 8/10 blonde with clipboard and microphone headset approaches me, super serious expression on her face >"Good Morning Mr. LeBlanc, if you follow me this way I'll take you to your room backstage, the conference is due to begin in 20 minutes" >"Wonderful, thank you." >I touch her arm and look her right in the eye, not smiling anymore: "Hey, my room will have the 200 packets of Rolos I requested right? Like in a basket or on a platter or something?" >She completely bertstares me, fucking terrified she's made a huge mistake. >She stutters "I..uh- I don't-" >I grin - "I'm fucking with you." >She stays frozen for a second and then bursts out laughing, colossal relief. "Oh my god! I thought- Oh my god! Hahaha!" >I pat her on the butt and she shows me to my room >I'm in that room for the whole 20 minutes thinking about life since the show ended
Ok /fit/ I just did one of the most embarrassing, ball blue-ening things of my life. Seriously I cannot sleep because of the shame. This occurred nine hours ago.
> 8/10 cardio bunny who I bumped into last week, I used to hang around with her brother ages ago, we were in a queue together. > We got talking about fitness as I recall she was quite sporty, I mention my gym is rubbish and she says I should check hers out, guest pass and shiz > I jump at chance, both for gym and possible bone. > We go, I do chest/tri's she goes treadmill then crosstrainer then a few reps on the crunch machine for some reason. > She asks what am I doing after this, I say might watch a movie, I've got a pirated copy of Avengers I've been meaning to watch. > She says she has wanted to see that, I maintain my spaghetti and ask her to come, she accepts. cont.
You have been dropping massive protein farts all day. You thought you could get home to use your bathroom, but it is too late. You are turtling; you must use the gym bathroom to shit.
Use all the skills granted you by being /fit/ to shit in the toilet.
