Update 2024-03-27: Greatly expanded the "Samples" page and renamed it to "Glossary".
Update 2024-04-04: Added 5 million mid-2011 posts from the k47 post dump. Browse (mostly) them here.
Update 2024-04-07: Added ~400 October 2003 posts from 4chan.net. Browse them here.
Welcome to Oldfriend Archive, the official 4chan archive of the NSA. Hosting ~170M text-only 2003-2014 4chan posts (mostly 2006-2008).
>In school a few years back >Fat bitch in my class (let's call her Europa) >She's the worst kind of land planet, always saying she'll lose weight and start diets etc. >Also posts on Facebook saying stuff like "I feel fat and ugly :/" as well as doing this IRL looking for compliments >Does this in school one day "Do you guys think I'm fat" >All girls are like "Nooooo Europa! you're beautiful just the way you are" Guys just scratch heads uncomfortably >let'sdothis.mp4 >"Yes you are fat, why are you asking you can see it, I can see it and everyone else who lied to you or didn't say shit can see it, stop fishing for compliments Europa, it's sad and annoying as fuck" >Oh god what was I thinking >Feminazi and white night beta rage everywhere >Alienated for the rest of that year >Fuck it, worth it.
I'm writing from the field from a shitty internet connection - it might upload but the connection is such shit that I might not be able to get back after I post, so if it all goes to hell I'll try again after the dig.
>be at archaeology field school in Alaska >one of the girls is the worst type of fat American there could be >from LA, complains about food even though it's a miracle we have food at all, loudly talks so everyone hears her at all times >telling story about getting on the bush plane to get to the site >They need to weigh all passengers so they don't get overloaded and all die >She "proudly refused" their discrimination >Bush pilot had to guess her weight, fatty was offended that he overestimated just to be safe >fatty endangered the lives of everyone on the plane just so the person at the counter couldn't know her exact weight.
This was just on the news, two minutes ago. >Guy get's divorced >Women gets custody of daughter >Daughter is six years old >Weighs 55kg/122lbs >Guy goes to child protective services, gets ignored >Goes to the police, says wife is mistreating daughter >Law suit >Fat bitch is on national news, claims that a six yeas old weighs almost triple what she should cause of genetics
Fuck me, i just raged so much. For any Brazilians out there, this was just on Jornal Hoje.
>Be at public sporting event called 'village games' >competing in several sports representing my village >sit down with friends and family to watch my friends running 100m heats >I'm not competing in this >9/10 girl comes over with orange segments and offers them to us >"Want some, Anon?" >Think 'Oh God how does she know my name, oh God she's so hot' >Everyone is looking at me >"N-no I think they're j-just for the ath- competitors" >"what?" >"I-I think they're j-just for the c-c-competitors" >Everyone stares at me >No one is laughing at my joke >"No, no, they're for anyone, here!" >She's so polite >turn around and eat my orange >feel like a child >friends lose 100m sprint
Hey fit I'm looking for some books or and type of media worth reading. Anything that I can derive benefit from reading like self-improvement or thought provoking . >TL;DR intellectual books to better myself >can be fit related pic related last book I read
>working retail cashier >jupiter begins orbiting towards my lane >I finish bagging her shit, she pays and starts to leave >after her orbital period passes, she returns to complain about a free item promotion >"yea i bought this it's supposed to come up with a free something" >i scan the item, it does show up with something being free >i ask the planetary mass if they have the item that's supposed to be free >"YOU MEAN I HAVE TO GO GET IT MYSELF?" >no dumbshit, we keep every free item promotion stored in the 5x5 workspace up here >it lumbers away back to the aisle where the item is, huffing and puffing as it leaves >this aisle is about 50 feet away, and item promotions are clearly marked >20 minutes later the blob returns, now visibly glistening with sweat and clinging to the cart for support >it's a a fucking tiny item, 1/25 the size of the other one she had to buy >fatty spent 30 minutes extra and exerted 90% of its daily energy reserves to get it >leaves exhausted
> See a DYEL come to the gym for the first time, somewhat proud > Does bodyweight squats and barely can get to parallel > Decides to try squats with the bar > Some some kind of seizure like motion where his legs drop 2" and his upper body lowers the bar and shakes > After 5 reps goes to get water fountain > Curlbro walks into gym, sees rack with empty bar an assumes no one is using it and starts his benching > DYEL is so beta he walks over to say that he's using it, but spaghetti flies out of his pockets and he just grabs his backpack that was inside the rack and leaves
>be 10 lbs overweight >started lifting 6 months ago >eating chicken, broccoli, milk >making quick progress >walk into gym behind skinnyfat mailman this morning >walk downstairs to locker room >been at this gym this whole summer >right before stairs he stops and says "excuse me" >some green miniplanet (probably 4'8') behind him says "excuse me" >look in their direction as I pass >green miniplanet holding soda and snack >exiting elevator >tfw this is in a GYM >tfw I walk by to the stairs every day and I didn't even know there was an elevator there >tfw you can get directions to the elevator from any fatty who's been in the building before >tfw I used to be that person
