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Anonymous

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Fat people stories

Anonymous Tue 04 Jun 2013 11:13:54 No.20413620 View View Report

Quoted By:

Rev up that oc, i had a doozy today.

I've posted here about my uni before. People pay $3 a day to park right beside it, spend ages circling the parking lot to get a spot etc. There is ample parking 5 mins walk away for free. The building is 6 floors and nobody ever uses the stairs. I regularly catch people using the elevators to go DOWN one floor. Yes one single floor. It's fucking embarassing.

Anyway on with the FPS

>be in maths class
>middle aged mature student in my stream
>shes at waddle tier obesity, she's gotten to the point where she can't walk straight, kind of waddles side to side to move
>regularly comes to class with a coke
>be today
>she shows up 40 minutes late
>then proceeds to loudly tell the entire class why she was late
>she circled the parking lot over and over looking for a park
>couldn't find one so gave up
>drove home and called a taxi to pick her up
>mfw somebody would rather spend $20+ on a taxi and be 40 minutes late then spend 5 minutes walking to class

Anonymous

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Anonymous Sat 01 Sep 2012 10:33:10 No.14455295 View View Report

Quoted By:

>sitting in clinic with surgeon who is dictating a discharge letter on a patient
>she has had her gallstones removed
>surgeon remarks to me that he was up to his elbows in fat trying to do the procedure
>remarks that other colleagues had refused to operate on her without the aid of a mining lamp and a canary
>he dictates: "when recovered, haul overboard into the pacific and tell her to avoid the costal waters of Japan"
>his secretary always tidies these up before the letter gets sent out
>mfw his secretary was away and the temp sends out the unedited letter

Anonymous !Rk2HermyGU

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Anonymous !Rk2HermyGU Tue 24 Apr 2012 03:24:00 No.12235118 View View Report

Quoted By:

Let's hear em folks!
>Be senior in high school
>Walking down the stairs, fat hambulocetus comes tumbling down after tripping.
>Hambulocetus has a minor sprained ankle, is sent home by the school nurse for a day.
>The bitch comes back to school the next day, not in crutches... but in a wheelchair.
>This bitch is wheeled around by some aid for the next 2 weeks until her "broken" ankle recovers.
>mfw I realized she was too fat for crutches.

Anonymous !!gY8MODfkdaD

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Anonymous !!gY8MODfkdaD Fri 13 Apr 2012 15:29:00 No.12054392 View View Report

Quoted By:

> Be ay uni
> Hambeast sits next to me
> Teacher reminds us how we have to make a 10 paragraph review of a book
> Hambeast pokes me on the shoulder, it feels like a sausage just bumped my delt.
> "Hey anon, did you do your review ?"
> "Yep, did it like 3 months ago."
> "I see.. do you wanna make mine for me ? I'll reward you."
> I look at her, she is crossing her legs, but the sheer amount of woobly leg fat is making the pose hilarious.
> "What's the reward ?"
> She does this weird flitarcious face.
> "All you want..."
> Realize she is offering herself to me.
> "... I want 25 bucks."
> Leave
> Hamplanet has this "wtf just happened" look on her face.

Anonymous !!4+m6D0ifejf

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FPS!!!!!

Anonymous !!4+m6D0ifejf Tue 10 Apr 2012 10:59:00 No.11997873 View View Report

Quoted By:

Where's my FPS thread?

>at cousins house for a family dinner
>upstairs with cousins 1 and 2 and their girlfriends
>cousins 1 and his gf are fit, #2 is fit but his girlfriend has been known to change tides during certain times of year
>someone downstairs tells us appetizer is ready
>cucumber slices with yogurt spread and small piece of candied bacon
>I yell I'll be right down
>Iapetus shifts her orbit to go "cucumbers ewww gross"
>Say they are good for you
>Iapetus proclaims "But they don't taste like anything, just water. That's gross."
>Everyone in the room Bertstares her
>Try to leave room for said cucumbers, can't reach escape velocity.
>was glad my wife saved one for me

I don't get it. Cousin is fit and attractive, maybe he's just interested in astronomy.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Wed 01 Feb 2012 20:31:00 No.10961750 View View Report

Quoted By:

>>10959293
>here's pic if some1 want

Anonymous !!kfdlX/lnWqq

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Anonymous !!kfdlX/lnWqq Sat 07 Jan 2012 10:13:00 No.10619401 View View Report

Quoted By:

This just happened today, and I had to share

>Work in the shittastic doldrum that is retail
>Be on store floor straightening shit and makin store look good
>See antique ambulocetus playing pretend/having a tea party with her normal looking granddaughter
>Little girl turns around and shouts to mother checking out at the register, "Mommy you want cake?"
>Mom: "What was that sweetie?"
>I turn to look at mother at register
>HOLYFUCKINGGOD WOMAN HAS AN ASS NEARLY AS WIDE AS THE COUNTER
>Girl repeats "Mommy you want cake?
>Mom: "YEAH I want some cake! Wait, mom, does she really have cake or is it pretend?"
>Grambulocetus mutters: "pretend"
>Mom: "Aww, I really want some cake now..."r
>mfw this entire ordeal is going on
>mfw a coworker had a birthday and we had cake in the break room
>mfw I was thinking, this cant be happening

For real, the woman thought her daughter might have magically materialized cake she could eat, and probably went and ate one herself after

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