/lit/ - Literature » Thread #1741131

[15 / 4 / ?]

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Anonymous Tue 03 May 2011 00:45:00 No.1741131 View View Reply Original Report

Quoted By: >>1741335

Care to rate my poem you guys?
Post yours, too!

Dr. Rick Dagless, MD. !!a9+22/0Crgl

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Dr. Rick Dagless, MD. !!a9+22/0Crgl Tue 03 May 2011 00:49:00 No.1741137 Report

Quoted By: >>1741230

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 03 May 2011 01:09:00 No.1741157 Report

Quoted By:

bump

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 03 May 2011 01:58:00 No.1741199 Report

Quoted By: >>1741203 >>1741227

Sure is proving my point about poetry in here.

Both of these are terrible. First poster: if you're going to make your medium part of the message, you absolutely have to say something worthwhile.

Second poster: God, where do I start? I know where you should start. By reading other poets. Clumsy rhyme scheme, no attention paid to rhythm. Trite subject matter, just plain awful imagery, when it's there. When it's not there, I want to stab by eyes out.

Good poets agonize over every single word. It takes craft and it takes hard work. Neither of you know what you're doing.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 03 May 2011 02:02:00 No.1741203 Report

Quoted By: >>1741205

>>1741199

I'm pretty sure they were joking. Especially the second one.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 03 May 2011 02:06:00 No.1741205 Report

Quoted By:

>>1741203

I fucking hope so. I've seen some pretty terrible shit submitted to the lit mag I used to work for, and not far from this stuff.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 03 May 2011 02:26:00 No.1741215 Report

Quoted By: >>1741227

I'd say the effort that has gone into the second one clearly shows it isn't a joke. Dr. Rick, you know yourself it needs a lotta work, however the mascochistic narrator who so clearly hates the female in the poem makes for quite fascinating reading, and how very personal it all feels. I think you know this girl, I think she fucked you over and I think you hate her for it. And I love it. And i'm a girl!!! So bitter and angry, an attack on all women perhaps, its like a look into the /b/ board hive-mind in regards to women. I'd add a "tits or gtfo out" at the bottom, reminding us all of how it is men who objectify women, at the end of the day. And maybe you could swing it round in the last lines and remind everyone how if it was a male who did all this he'd be called a "playaaaaaa" and given a high-five. Just a little twist for you. :)

Dr.Rick Dagless, MD. !!a9+22/0Crgl

Dr.Rick Dagless, MD. !!a9+22/0Crgl Tue 03 May 2011 02:37:00 No.1741227 Report

Quoted By: >>1741229

>>1741215
Well actually, it'd a sort of an inside joke about a girl whom I've never met, but i hear about all the time. Many of the things contained therein actually happened, and I thought it was funny as fuck.

>>1741199
It was originally a song and It sounds better put to music.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 03 May 2011 02:41:00 No.1741229 Report

Quoted By:

>>1741227

No it doesn't. It's bad and you should feel bad.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Tue 03 May 2011 02:43:00 No.1741230 Report

Quoted By: >>1741241

>>1741137

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 03 May 2011 02:50:00 No.1741241 Report

Quoted By:

>>1741230
Explain

Anonymous

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Anonymous Tue 03 May 2011 04:00:00 No.1741335 Report

Quoted By:

>>1741131
i upgraded my ram

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 03 May 2011 04:03:00 No.1741340 Report

Quoted By: >>1741431

oh hey do me

I've always told you to throw your arms down,
Tell the world to let its guard down,
You only ever wanted to break the web,
And each string, became a mess,
Playing different notes, as we go.

Everything is so confusing,
You take my mind, and squeeze until it sings.
But it only ever shouts, shouts a piercing word
That by you cannot be heard,
And the problem is where am I to help?

So you've taken everything from me,

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 03 May 2011 04:39:00 No.1741428 Report

Quoted By:

bump!

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 03 May 2011 04:41:00 No.1741431 Report

Quoted By:

>>1741340
purty cool

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