[Serious discussion only]

Why do you exist?

[NO OFF-TOPIC COMMENTS ONLY SERIOUS, IF I EVEN SEE ONE SICP IN HERE I SWEAR TO RMS I WILL DROP YOUR TABLES]

Coincidence? I think not!

sup /prog/
if I know PHP/JS and want to get in to non-web stuff, what language would be the logical one to learn next? I was thinking java, because it looks pretty close to PHP

this is the anus of 4chan

here, whenever someone tells you to go back to /b/, they are complimenting you by saying your posts are too high of quality for you to be posting on this board

Instagram for Mongo

Ruby on Rails is slow as fuck xD
Common Lithp xDDD lol
sepples magic!!!11one!!!eleven
Have you read your sickpee today? XDDDDD ^_^
You have autism @_@ lol j/k deal w/ it
MrVacBob-sama-kun-chan is supa kawaii desu~~~~

[b][i][o][u]EXPERT[/u][/o][/i][/b][o][/o]
[b][i][o][u]BBCODE[/u][/o][/i][/b][o][/o]
[b][i][o][u]PROGRAMMER[/u][/o][/i][/b][o][/o]
[b][i][o][u]XD[/u][/o][/i][/b][o][/o]

hax my anus plz lol rofl lmao :p
HMA memesmith :O
fibonnacci buttsort trollololololo
binary dick trees XD
Hi Xarn and Erika and Leah and FrozenVoidAnus
XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDXDXD lol sooooo randum XD

\polekitty kebabs\ =^.^= anagrams are sOoOoO randummmm and kawaii xD
smoke weed everyday, it makes programming less annoying :3
opiates O.o
da imagebored paladin xD
OBFUSCATE MY ANUS
>>,,,,,,,,,,,, roflmao
JACKSON >>5 GET! :P
Fuck off, ``fabulous dude'' xD
stop using ``fabulous quotes'' xD
yaoi is supa kawaii ^____________________________^;
and hot #_#
（　≖‿≖） <- lol it's a smug face using superior japanese characters >;0
>>11,22,33,44,55,66,77,88,99
check 'em dubz ecks dee dee dee
>>479
fuck you fabulous dude
/prog/, err, I mean /prague/ amirite guyzz? el oh el
let's discuss what IDEs and text editors we use even though we can't program our way out of a paper bag xD
goto considered harmful xD XKCD told me so
if u don't like XKCD it's cuz you don't get it
you gotta be a real nerd liek me 2 understand it xDDD
lol sOoOoOoO nerdy XD
I GNU/hurd you guize have waifu's... that's pretty kewl, I hope you're waifus are doin well
they are probably supa kawaii like me~~~ :P



So like can I join your s00per sekret club now guise? I'm a supa kawaii ruby programmer ^^;;; you know it's a superior language because it's japanese XD and you don't even need to declare variable types because ruby can deduce them from the data strings where the variables are initialized... it's like my mac, it just works XD I <3 steve jobs, he's mai husbando ^///^ I even wrote some fanfiction about him and woz :))) woz executes his huge 32-bit instruction set on steve jobs' tight little powerpc processor ^////////^ and his ``stack'' overflowed everywhere if u no wat i mean *blushes*
XDXDXXXXXXDXD XD XDDDD XD XDDD XDD XDXD

*glomps*

Well I guess it's Saturday now. Anyway, last night I had the most amazing experience that will change my life. First, a little background: I develop middleware for web applications with Java Server Pages. My company uses pair programming and agile and it works pretty well. I've been with my current partner for a couple months and he's pretty cool. He has a charm about him that makes me feel things that I've never felt about another man before. But anyway, he's not important to this story.

It started yesterday at four in the afternoon, when I was asked to step into my bosses office. My boss is a short fat guy with a bald head and a permanent scowl afixed to his face. His background is in doind coding work for banks. He's pretty boring. Well, he calls it an office, but he's not actually all that important, so it's really just a slightly larger cubicle like mine but with a forth wall and a gap for the door. He asked me to sit down, but I could sense the tension so I refused, but he just kept staring at me for almost twenty seconds, so I gave up and sat down. Now recently, I've been under investigation by HR for stealing paper (I absolutely was not), and also for using the company credit card to buy beef jerky (they ended up taking it out of my pay), so I had an idea of where this was going. Also, I was posting loli 2hu porn on the SFW imagereddits when the woman doing my review paid me a suprise visit earlier in the day. And I was right: I was fired on the spot.

When I left the gap to my short and bald boss's parody of an office there was a large black guy in a security guards' outfit. My boss told him to escort me to my desk to gather my things. I was mad about being fired and was feeling pretty snippy, so I looked towards the guard and said `Did you steal that suit when you broke out of jail, you stupid nigger?'. Looking back, that was probably a bad idea, because my former boss told the guard to just throw me out and that my personal things would be mailed to me. On the other hand, had I not done such a thing then I never would have met the girl of my dreams.

Since my keys were in my desk and they were threatening to call the police and my parole officer if I neared the building again, I had no way to get home. I wondered what a normal person would do in a situation like this ad came up with nothing, so I decided to get drunk. Well, to be honest, I would rather had gotten high, but then I'd have to deal with a black to get pot. I'm still not convinced that don't have a secret network to communicate that would have me killed for being racist to the guard. I've seen stranger things. So getting drunk was all that was left to me. They gouge the price at bars -- $8 a drink? Hell no! So I went to the nearest liquor store. Well, I thought it was the nearest liquor store, but O was using Apple Maps, so I find it suspicious that I had to walk five miles to get to the store. When I got there, I found to my dismay that they had already canceled my company credit card. Now I knew what it was like to work on the Romney campaign. I had a single two dollar bill folded away in the back of my wallet, given to me by my father for luck, almost twenty years ago. It had a bit of blood  on it. I wonder if he stole it. I spent the two dollar bill on a tiny shot of vodka and went outside to drink it.

So there I was, outside `Dan's Liquor Smoke Wine XXX Planet' when I was approached by a girl. She and her friends had forgotten their IDs and asked me to but them some beer. I guess that my business attire made me look trustworthy, and my ribber boots and jacket that I got at the military surplus store made me look approachable. They had $49 dollars between them so I told them that this wouldn't buy much beer, but I could buy them some vodka. I went in the store and tried to buy a couple bottles of the cheapest vodka. The total came to $12 but she told me that I could keep the change. The clerk asked me `are you buying this for those kids outside watching you?', to which I replied `No.'. Eventually, I had to give him $20, which left me with a mere $17 to keep. I went back outside and gave the bottles to the girl. She thanked me and bean to walk away with her friends. I could sense that I should be doing something that I wasn't, I called her back and gave tolder that the total was only $47, so she had $2 in change. She told me to keep it, but I refused. She was delighted by my show of kindness and invited me to a party at her house.

It really wasn't much of a party. There were only about twelve people there in her tiny suburban house, and none of them could hold their liquor. They tended to puke it up and start tearing up. Since that obviously wasn't working, I thought to dilute it. I found sound olive oil and koolaid and mixed it in with the vodka. The vodka dissolved the oil, so I had to use water. It must have been very authentic Russian vodka to be as powerful a solvent as an engine degreaser.

But that wasn't the end of the party's woes. Although they were now keeping the drink down, it had begun keeping them down. So many bodies littered the floor that I had to focus on the things I learned in therapy to keep the flashbacks from the war out of my mind. I made sure to turned them on their stomachs so they wouldn't drown in their own puke. Sometimes my kindness amazes even me. Forty five minutes in and the only one left standing -- for a very loose definition of standing -- was my host, the girl whe brought me into her home. We talked -- for a very loose definition of talking (she just kinda slurred random phonemes) -- for hours, then she managed to articulate that she wanted to go to bed. I carried her up stairs into her bed room and threw all her stuffed animals on the floor and cuddled with her.

As the sun came up I could tell that it was something special. Sure, I had been treated like trash at work, but I couldn't let that define me. I couldn't let them break me. The ethanol smell eminating from the beautiful girl embracing me ad shivering reminded me that there was still good in the world. No matter what challenges life faced, I knew in my soul that love would conquer all. I also knew that I'd better get out of there fast. Any screams of misunderstanding would be unfortunate. I fished around in the girls pocket, retrieved my $2, and left through the window. This was probably unnecessary, but it felt like a personal goal that I must complete.

Back in my house, two hours have not been enough to diminish the intense ecstasy I experienced and felt while bonding with my girl. Of I have one regret its that I never got her name. But I will always love you, Nanashi-chama! And I will never forget you!

I'm calling it Beat The Pedos. It uses a social networking to catalogue all the freaks in the user's area and schedules beatings for them. For example, of one particular pedo has gone a month without being attacked, it finds five or six users that have some free time and sends them to pay the sick fuck a visit. Rough them up a little, smash their 2hu dolls - it keeps them in line.

Obviously, I'm making it as a public service sort of thing, but it would be nice to be rewarded for all my hard work. Still, I'll be honest and admit that there is obviously very little chance of any reputable ad network putting ads here, and if I charge money then I might not reach enough people. Any ideas on how to monetize?

And /prog/ shall be better for it.

it makes programming less annoying