Update 2024-03-27: Greatly expanded the "Samples" page and renamed it to "Glossary".
Update 2024-04-04: Added 5 million mid-2011 posts from the k47 post dump. Browse (mostly) them here.
Update 2024-04-07: Added ~400 October 2003 posts from 4chan.net. Browse them here.
Welcome to Oldfriend Archive, the official 4chan archive of the NSA. Hosting ~170M text-only 2003-2014 4chan posts (mostly 2006-2008).
The President or Prime Minister of Russia was defeated in single combat today by the mother of his latest mark. This marks the first time that Mr. Putin has ever been defeated and given up a target.
Mr. Putin received word of an unruly subject a few weeks ago and decided to eliminate Mr. Sadkov to prevent further harm to Russia's image. “I thought that this would just be an ordinary hit,” said Mr. Putin from his hospital bed in Moscow. “Never in my worst nightmares had I imagined the terrible horrors that awaited me.”
At 23:05 GMT Mr. Putin neared the Sadkov home and proceeded to the basement, where he saw a large, ape-like figure huddled over the crotch what appeared to be a pathetic excuse for an adult human male. The figure turned towards the door and growled at Mr. Putin before attacking him.
“I swear that the beast was kicking me with five legs and hitting me with seven arms,” Mr. Putin said as the FSB brought him the official report. The report contained confirmation from the DNA found in Mr. Putin’s fingernails that the monster was the mother of Nikita Sadkov. This ends speculation that the monster was created as a weapon by the United States and send to destroy the great Russian society.
“I am definitely not going to face such a foul creature from the gates of hell again,” said Mr. Putin, “Nikita Sadkov can live, for now.”
Hey everyone. First time posting here. I am after pursuing a career in programming and I want to start by learning Java. What do you reckon it's the best way to go, considering I'm still 2 years away from Uni. Books, tutos, online stuff? I also want to learn PHP, C++ and MySQL in the future. Thank you all very much.
During the conference, I had several occasions to speak with Professor Sussman about a great range of topics. Professor Sussman is fantastically knowledgeable about many things. If you ever get a chance to have a conversation with the man, I highly recommend dropping everything to do it. At one of the session breaks, I caught the Professor at a coffee station and asked him about something I had heard, which was that in addition to being an expert in electrical engineering he was also a watchmaker. He told me that he had received a Rolex watch as a gift after earning his doctorate (in 1973) and that at some point the watch needed to be cleaned. He sent the watch (which he still wears) to Rolex and noticed upon its return that they had been careless in cleaning it and had either smudged the inside of the crystal or damaged the watch face (I unfortunately don't recall exactly the detail of the blemish). His abundant curiosity lead him to taking it apart to fix the mistake made at the factory. This was apparently Professor Sussman's introduction to the fine art of watch making.
Since that time, the Professor has been pursuing experience in the art of watch making. He told me that he travels weekly to the shop of one of the few Master Watchmakers in Massachusetts (somewhere in Stoneham) to do work in exchange for guidance in an art that only a master watchmaker can provide. I couldn't get this story out of my head. Here I was, talking to one of the most revered computer scientists of our time and listening to him recount his own journey toward mastery in a field other than what has been his life's work. It was both humbling and inspiring to hear that the man still lives the life of a learner.
I found /b/ after it was mentioned in a news article I found on Reddit about a year ago. I eventually grew tired of the stupid newfags and found my way yo /g/. I actually never even knew these textboards existed until a few months ago when some kind (just kidding, he was actually a total dick) Anon pointed out that there were textboards mentioned in the board header, and I've been here ever since.
