Update 2024-03-27: Greatly expanded the "Samples" page and renamed it to "Glossary".
Update 2024-04-04: Added 5 million mid-2011 posts from the k47 post dump. Browse (mostly) them here.
Update 2024-04-07: Added ~400 October 2003 posts from 4chan.net. Browse them here.
Welcome to Oldfriend Archive, the official 4chan archive of the NSA. Hosting ~170M text-only 2003-2014 4chan posts (mostly 2006-2008).
It's been a long time since I played this game...a long time. My N64 bit the dust a while back, and only now have I used an emulator to nostalgia the shit out of my teen years.
Figured I'd involve /r9k/ in this fun. First post ending in 3 names my profile, NO EXCEPTIONS.
So who's the biggest loser around here? An inverted e-penis contest, if you will.
23 years old - Made out with a girl about 5 years ago; furthest I've ever gotten. - Live at home - No drivers license (though I'm taking lessons atm) - Normally spend about 14 to 16 hours a day behind my computer. - 200 gigs of porn
Try to beat that, normalfag. (And don't forget to greet Peter).
Few times in this city's history have the barbarians made it past the gates, so to speak. But today, General Heruli and his thugs are burning everything in sight.
For thousands of years, Athens has been a place for the intellectual, for the lofty thinkers and artisans of the classical world. It is here that some of the greatest acheivments in human history have been made. But Heruli's men don't care about these things. They are taken by insatiable bloodlust. So they pillage and burn and rape with impunity as helpless citizens scramble for refuge that doesn't exist.
Athens is crumbling.
In a temple near the city center, a priest is down on bended knees before a great marble statue. The horrible din of destruction is drawing nearer with every moment, and he knows his time is short. If Athens is to be saved -- if there is any hope remaining for this once-great city -- he knows that he must work quickly.
The statue is pure and white, pristine, just like the goddess it iconifies. Standing at a hundred feet, it is a fitting embodiment of the city's namesake, its first and most important patron: Athena.
For now this monument stands dormant. But the priest kneeling before it knows how to summon Athena Herself from Mount Olympus and imbue the immobile stone with Her living essence. It is sacred knowledge, passed down through generations by the highest order of temple scholars, and is only ever to be used in the most dire circumstances. To call Athena down from her throne for a trifle would mean certain death. Even calling Her down for this, the destruction of Her city, is a risk. But the priest must take it. There is nothing else to be done.
ITT The awkwardest thing that happened today, presented by greentext.
>Gaze aimlessly on train >realize you're looking at a hard-gay black man >look away >look at him again >he nods >arrive at your stop, which is coincidentally his stop >miss your stop
the last time i saw a thread like this it made my day... could we please have a retard story thread?
This big fat down syndrome kid at my school LOVED Queen, particularly Freddie Mercury. His name was Tom. One day for assembly, the head of our grade [yr 12] allowed him to make a 'special' presentation for the school. He drew a shitty mustache on his face and wore a curly hair wig and called himself 'Tommie Mercury' but he couldn't get the cd player working and flipped out and everyone started laughing. Next thing I know all the year 8ers in the front crowd were screaming and ran everywhere. Turns out he got pissed off at the laughing and THREW THE FUCKING CD PLAYER INTO THE CROWD AND SHAT HIMSELF. A couple of kids got hurt pretty bad, because the CD player was one of those huge ghetto blasters that the school had been using since the 90's. It smashed a girl so hard in the face the face plate of it smashed into pieces and the thing had to be thrown away.
