Update 2024-03-27: Greatly expanded the "Samples" page and renamed it to "Glossary".
Update 2024-04-04: Added 5 million mid-2011 posts from the k47 post dump. Browse (mostly) them here.
Update 2024-04-07: Added ~400 October 2003 posts from 4chan.net. Browse them here.
Welcome to Oldfriend Archive, the official 4chan archive of the NSA. Hosting ~170M text-only 2003-2014 4chan posts (mostly 2006-2008).
So uhm.. This tranny on craigslist that I contacted and turned out to be real even though I live in a pretty small town. She lives close and we were talking on aim. She is driving into town tonight and might stop by. My parents are asleep and I am nervous as fuck.
After struggling with depression for years, failing out of school, losing my job and having several abortive relationships I finally decided to literally go curl up in a hole and die. That's it in a nutshell. Except I've made it pretty livable so it may take a while. I emerge only to shoplift additional items to make living there more comfortable.
The hole is about six feet by six feet, and 5 feet deep. I have to crouch down to get inside. It has long branches laid over the top, planks of wood laid over that, a tarp laid over the planks and dirt/leaves packed down over the tarp to camoflage it. Nothing too fancy, it's just somewhere to sleep, as I'm only really happy when I'm sleeping. It has internal plumbing (a PVC pipe and funnel, the hole's near the top of a hill so it comes out the side a ways down and drains into a shallow ditch) electric heating, lighting, a netbook and a small television (powered by a buried extension cord that I ran from an unprotected public outlet at what looks like a radio relay station? I'm pretty high up) and I keep a sizable stash of sealed, nonperishable foods like granola bars.
About four years ago, my high school had the Jonas Brothers perform because at the time, they were still a local band. They were booed the entire time, and booed off the stage. The promo CDs they handed out were all broken or thrown around the school. Most of the teachers used the CDs as coasters. Little did anyone know, those CDs are now worth around $250 apiece.
Short story long: I finally managed to hook up a date with a friend's friend through facebook. We decided to go to the cinema and then have something to eat.
I paid the gasoline that got us to the cinema. I paid for the cinema tickets, and after having a good time watching "Julie & Julia" I asked her what she wanted to eat. At first she was like "maybe something greek or italian, I don't know. Why don't you decide."
Well, I decided, and we went to McDonald's. I could really feel how she went from interested in me, to just wanting to get the fuck away from me. She hardly ate the salad she ordered (and which I paid for). She didn't respond to my phone calls or messages later, and she deleted me from her friends list today....
What's the deal with women and only wanting to have US pay THEIR expensive dinners at hipster italian and foreign restaurants?! What's wrong with eating at Mcdonald's?
/r9k/ editon, anyway I'll start us off When I was about 14, my girlfriend at the time had came over to my house on a weekend (mom and stepdad out late). We were watching a movie (kinda boring, blanking on the name) in my beanbag chair while she was in my lap. After some small talk during the movie she randomly said "it feels like somethings poking me" then she started moving her butt around in my lap. At this point I wasn't saying much and had a almost painful throbbing boner against her ass. After about 1 min of that she tilted her head back on me and said 'whats the matter?' and i said something along the lines of me feeling tense or something. Next thing I remember she had got up from off my lap a little, pulled her pants down and told me take out my dick. She lowered herself back down and did this gripping motion with her pussy a few times and I came an unreal amount inside her which felt like it lasted 2-3 minutes..lost my virginity that night God how I wish I could rewind time got rock hard just remembering this. 19 now and haven't had much action since her really..shame she turned kinda nuts on me
The girl was pretty cute too. She was not asian but she was still my type.The terms we both agreed on were we would cuddle in bed for a full 4 hours and she would tell me "i love you" at random intervals and make eye contact. However when push came to shove she refused to look at me and I had to pretty much beg her to say "i love you" and she only said it once and it sounded forced as all hell. But i guess its a mixed blessing because her voice was fucking annoying as shit, she sounded like sarah palin.
The cuddling was amazing though once I got over the fact that she refused to make eye contact or look at me. I had to really use my imagination a lot but for a good long time it felt amazing. I only got to touch her arms but her skin was so fucking soft...it was fucking amazing. So much better than hugging my pillow because the skin was so soft and you KNOW you are hugging a real life human female! My mind was blown for a while.
At the end I tried to kiss her once but she REALLY dodged the FUCK out of it. Like I went to try to kiss her and she pushed me away and jerked her head back and had a disgusted look on her face. To be fair we never agreed on kissing...we agreed there would be "nothing sexual" but we never agreed on kissing so that's kinda my fault. I kinda begged her a little to let me kiss her but she declined. I guess theres a little bootlicker in us all lol.
Overall while she did not hold her end of the bargain as far as the eye contact part goes....it was a pretty good experience and I want to do it again.
You guys think I should use the same girl again or do you think I can find a girl who would be willing to actually look at me sometimes and maybe even make eye contact, all for the same price? ($350 or less for 4 hours of cuddling). I fear I might get addicted to this.
