I ruined my own wedding - on purpose!

>with this girl for 4 years
>she goes "to work" one night
>her sister calls looking for her, saying she can't get a hold of her and they were supposed to have dinner
>thinking my gf forgot, i call her at work to let her know her sister wants her to call her
>work says she's off that night, i get suspicious
>have p.i. follow her, find out she's cheating on me with not one, but TWO different guys - dude gave me pics
>wait till our wedding her parents paid for, she says "i do" i say "no, i do not" - wedding instantly turns into a lulz fest
>i shut everyone up by producing the pictures of her making out with the two different guys
>one of them was at our wedding in the audience, LOL
>she's crying, i'm lol'ing as i leave with *HER FAMILY* apologizing to me
>i shut off ALL utilities at my place, crash at my bro's place and tell her she has 30 days to get out.
>this happened last saturday, she finally got the rest of her shit out tonight.

I got the idea to do that at the wedding from that old chain letter that went around with the guy who put the pictures under everyone's chairs. I considered that but didn't want to spend the cash on it. As for the rest of it, well it still hasn't sunk in all the way. Can't believe the bullet I just dodged. 4 years down the drain because the whore couldn't keep her legs closed. I learned my lesson. I will never trust another woman ever again. (I'm tempted to ask her sister out, but am still up in the air about that one.)

I'm waiting for a few friends to get here and we're off to the bar! First weekend as a free man in over 4 years! I hope you all have a great weekend. I know I will!

Full retard thread.

>Making Spaghetti
>Put it in bowl
>Pour glass of milk
>Get out some chocolate milk mix
>Put spoonfull of mix on spaghetti
>My face

ITT: Ask a former chef on Hell's Kitchen anything.

-I didn't win
-I will not tell you which season I was on
-I will not tell you anything that could potentially identify me

For a change of pace, let's talk about the times in your life when someone was kind to you, just for the sake of being kind.

ITT: Weirdest things that have ever happened to you

> At after school program, in 1st grade
> Have to piss
> Walk into bathroom see kid crying
> Kid standing in the middle of the bathroom literally covered head to toe in shit, arms legs showes face... everything
> Get the fuck out of there

>Still a virgin
>Try to be as chivalrous as possible in general.
>Get called a white knight by close circle of friends
>Like it.
>Some how manage to get in a position to fuck one of said friends.
>Don't think I can do it, kind of nervous. Like the whole white knight / virgin persona I have.
>With out me saying anything, she kisses me and looks me in the eyes.
>"Every hero needs a vice..."
>Five thousand boners.
>Instantly.
>For ever.

ITT: The hottest thing any one has ever said to you.

So I've just read up on The Buzzer for the first time. For those of you who don't know, it's a Russian radio station that's been sending out signals since the Cold War, and no one knows what it's for. Then I started reading about numbers stations and now I wonder how many other strange happenings are out there that I haven't read about yet.

What are some good quirks, oddities and mysteries of the 20th/21st centuries, /r9k/? Not shit like "hurr durr how did Building 7 collapse", but things like interesting spy transmissions on public radio, old Soviet ghost towns, etc. (I've got war on the brain at the moment, but feel free to be creative.)

I know this is more of an /x/ thread, but /r9k/ always has such better stories.

> at party with people from school, know nearly everyone
> see a girl I don't know
> nobody else seems to know her
> I try to talk to her but she ignores me and walks away
> follow her and ask her who she is
> she stops dead and slowly turns to face me
> she spits right in my face, turns back round, and storms out
> run after her shouting
> she sprints down the road
> go back to party, ask if anyone knows who the fuck that was
> nobody does
> forget about it
> 2 days later I get an e-mail from a temp e-mail address
> it just says "Still don't remember me?"
> there's a picture attached
> it's me lying passed out drunk
> I'm naked
> that girl is holding my dick
> mfw I have no idea when this picture was taken, where it was taken, who took it, who the girl was, why I was there, why she was at the party, etc etc etc.

Still haunts me man.

ITT: Times that your own body trolled you.

>Eating sunflower seeds
>Have my cheek packed full
>Suddenly, sneeze
>Sunflower seeds covering monitor
>Goddammit.

ITT: Wat stories

>walking with some friends down a street
>see car coming up behind us
>glance over at the car as they drive past
>old white guy driving
>young back guy in the passenger seat holding a huge real snake
>me and the black guy make eye contact
>wat