Update 2024-03-27: Greatly expanded the "Samples" page and renamed it to "Glossary".
Update 2024-04-04: Added 5 million mid-2011 posts from the k47 post dump. Browse (mostly) them here.
Update 2024-04-07: Added ~400 October 2003 posts from 4chan.net. Browse them here.
Welcome to Oldfriend Archive, the official 4chan archive of the NSA. Hosting ~170M text-only 2003-2014 4chan posts (mostly 2006-2008).
>Waiting in a line. >Homeless person approaches me. Asks me if I can help him buy a sandwich. >I give him two dollars in coins. >He puts them in his mouth and says "Thanks, chief. I'll vote for you in the upcoming elections." >wat
Awesome moments you had with your parents/grandparents thread.
>sitting at funeral for a friend of grandma's next to my grandpa >children being shits in pew in front of us >grandpa slightly hits one of them in the side of his head with his cane >kid turns around >grandpa assumes the old person stare at the ground pose >kid looks at me, I'm looking at my game boy >they turn around and continue being shits >grandpa repeats process and whacks them a tad harder >kids turn around, then turn back >grandpa looks at me and we both coolface
>driving near golf course with my dad >we're at a stoplight >guy on the green is focusing intently on making a putt >he lifts the club to make the putt >dad honks the horn >guy fucks it up and whacks the ball away >he looks up at us >dad runs the red light as we laugh our asses off
>6th grade, first time getting detention. >After 15 minutes, everyone crowds around a table to sign off. > Girls ass is right in front of me. > Hump it for a few seconds, she doesn't even turn around. ----------------------------------------------------------------
>On a youth group weekend trip, cute chubby girl gets on the bus at another pick-up point. >Talk to her a little bit, then she's doing some homework. > Half way there, put my arm around her. > Slide it down and caress her thigh/lower back/waist. > She never said stop. > Find out from her friends it creeped her out, shitsux.
---------------------------------------------------------------- A few days ago.
> At a packed outdoor mall. > Cute petite woman stops in front of me while turned other way. > I walk very fast > She says "so sorry" > I alrady bumped into her > Full contact > Dick brushing on her hip. > She says "get off me" > Tries to push me away as if I'm trying to rape her. >Walk away look straight ahead.
Lets get some greentext in here today. Funny, alpha, beta, whatever.
>Talking to boss >Says he thinks his wife is cheating on him >Suggest he pull up her facebook profile >Look for suspicious activity >See her profile picture >"Damn, whos that chick next to your wife, you know her?" >His 16 year old daughter >His face
Ok robots we talk about our strangest experiences, anything from aliens and ghost to deja vu.
Ill start
>boyscout camp in the misty mountains >dead middle of the night (id say between 1-3) >get up to take a piss behind our little hut (it was basically bunk beads with a roof and three walls no 4th wall) >relieving pressure and I here something moving in the woods about 10-20 feet infront of me. >Get back to the "cabin" try to sleep >hear what sounds like footsteps behind the hut (not the open part) >start flipping my shit >all three of my mates are fast asleep. >Im staring out into blackness >I could tell the footsteps were infront of the cabin now and I could hear human breathing >footsteps are getting closer and closer I can see fucking yellow fucking eyes now FUCKING YELLOW EYES SHIT MAN >I lose my shit and start yelling at it to fuck off >My mates wake up and hear the fucker running off >we grab flashlights and chase it out of camp >The next morning tons of dead animals were found at the perimeter of our camp and the cabin my friend was in had blood streaked all over the back.
(I was only like 14 and I think I would have died if I didnt start yelling at the fucker)
>Raging party at house >Start making out with my new GF >Want to fuck >Go into laundry room >Start fucking >Another friend hears us fucking >Runs upstairs and "LOL anon and GF are fucking LOL" >Gang of motherfuckers runs down stairs and tries to barge in on us >I run out of laundry room door with erect cock flying >Run around and chase people with my horse dong >They scream and run away in fear
Hello /r9k/ , it's time for stories about fat people. - stories about weird fat people - stories about when you were a fatass - stories about when you stopped being a fatass - stories about disgusting fat people
/r9k/ share with me some interesting things you have found on the internet. Anything, from guides, to cool or funny sites, to torrents or games. Even stuff you've learned, tricks, easter eggs. literally anything that you've come across that is interesting.
