any absurdists here? any of you miss the feeling of conviction or moral certainty?

i miss interpreting the world through a given value system. i was big on rationalism/empiricism and the will to power before i had an existential crisis. obviously i can't enjoy those anymore, since they are no better or worse than hedonism.

it's just all the small things i miss.. like pride in being an "intellectual". i don't think humans are supposed to live wthout some kind of conviction.

> Fucking horny on airplane
>About to land
> Dick fully erect under pants.
> Air Hostess comes to check if my seat belt is fastened.
> My dick involuntarily twitches under pants.
> She tries to ignore but grins a little.
> She walks off.
> 1 minute later, she comes back again pretending to check my row again, but I can see her looking at my bulge again with a grin.

Did she want my dick?

ITT: Things you used to do when you were kids but now regret/are ashamed of. I'll start:

-I used to dig my asshole after I took a shit and smelled my fingers afterward. I did this from at least the 3rd grade until middle school.

-Also, when I was very young, probably 8 or 9, I used to take pieces of toilet paper, piss on them, and wrap them around my penis. I don't know why I did this, but for some reason, I thought my penis head looked liked Kelsey Grammer's head (My parents watched a lot of Frasier).

-I fapped in the bathrooms during middle and high school. I also wiped my cum all over the walls of the bathroom stalls for the lulz.

-I used enjoy watching Carlos Mencia and laughed at his jokes.

Your turn, bots

Also, pic unrelated

ITT: Times when all you could do was........wat

>Walking thorugh shopping centre
>Turn the corner
>See a midget pushing a wheelbarrow full of bread rolls
>I smile at him
>He turns to me and says "No crossiants today, boss"
>wat

Hey guys, I typically try to limit my threads to one a month or so, but I had a really shitty day at work and am just saying "fuck it." I guess that since it's June, now, it doesn't really matter.

Whatever. Anyway, I'd love to share with you guys some stories from the abortion clinic (I'm an abortion nurse), the ambulance (I'm an EMT), or answer your questions about sex (I teach sex-ed). You can always IM me (Lolbortion) if you have a question you don't want to ask here.

So then, let's do this.

>roommates ignoring the phone ringing

JESUS CHRIST I WANT TO KILL SOMEONE JUST PICK UP THE FUCKING PHONE

irritating roommate story tiem?

When I was 6 / 7 I would regularly go 'frogging' on the field behind my house, hunting for frogs basically. This one time I found a large one. For some reason, I cast it into the air as high as I could, leaving it to smack down hard onto the ground. Upon realising my monstrous actions, I ran over to it to see if it was injured. Two broken legs. I ran home trying not to think about the recent events. I think about this frog daily.

You, /r9k/ ?

Vocaroo orgasm thread.

Here is the one I promised yesterday:
http://vocaroo.com/?media=vJ1yivlRR1IxsoiWM

Insect/animal/arachnid greentext stories.

>go to take out the garbage
>in a hurry
>don't put my shoes on
>step in the biggest ant pile i have ever seen
>hundreds of ants biting me in between my toes

Things people give you A LOT of shit for, for not liking them.

pic related, I am tired of ketchup so I stopped eating it. Everyone rages