>constipated, don't want to poop
>goes to poop anyway
>40 agonizing minutes later, GREAT LOG emerges
>10 seconds of pain leaving my colon area as GREAT LOG squeezes through
>finally leaves, I am relief
>my face

Share your poop stories, /r9k/.

Train: WATCH OUT. WATCH OUT, I AM A TRAIN.

Me: Ah! Jesus, what time is it?

Train: I AM THE 3AM TRAIN OUTSIDE YOUR WINDOW. DON'T GO ONTO THE TRACKS!

Me: Wha- It's three o'clock in the morning. I was asleep, in my bed. In my home.

Train: CAN'T STOP TO TALK. I HAVE TO DELIVER A VERY IMPORTANT SHIPMENT OF NOTHING AT ALL. WATCH OUT FOR ME, THE TRAIN.

Me: I am not watching out. I am going back to sleep.

Train: WE COULD TALK A LITTLE, IF YOU WANT. I AM VERY LONELY!

And yes that is a loli andalite

Let's have a good old shop lifting thread.

Tips, stories, all that shit.

Usually if I'm shoplifting I'll go to a super-store kind of place like Wal-Mart or Zellers that has a washroom. If it has a washroom it's just way too easy, just grab the shit and go into the washroom, unpackage it there and pocket it.

If it doesn't have a washroom I just go to an isle that won't have cameras, or the ones there are fake, like the bicycle section and open it up there.

If you really do get caught, just run. Sometimes people say "Oh they aren't legally allowed to do anything if you just walk out and let the alarms go off" which is true, but they will chase you anyway.

I steal most of my stuff, medicine is especially easy to steal, and have only been caught once where I just ran.

Hello /r9k/ and other board members surely here.

This is how we roll in /s/.

The majority of these sets I will post are from ftvgirls.com.

First up:> Jayden (pic related)

Pics: http://www.megaporn.com/?d=OH80E5IE

HD video: http://www.megaporn.com/?d=2VQCDXDL
http://www.megaporn.com/?d=OEHRKXFU
http://www.megaporn.com/?d=0UWFPHSF
http://www.megaporn.com/?d=SPRC5IOR
http://www.megaporn.com/?d=KES8J9IC

http://www.megaporn.com/?d=NS7HX0WA
http://www.megaporn.com/?d=QR4YN4B7
http://www.megaporn.com/?d=D6KMZ01U
http://www.megaporn.com/?d=73NF6LK5
http://www.megaporn.com/?d=E2YTLBM9

ITT: How we screw up.

>Going to the library via bicycle.
>It's quite far away and I go past populated areas such a bars and cafes.
>As I cycle past, I see a couple of girls my age sitting in a cafe watching me cycle.
>I was cycling 1 handed as I was drinking some juice with the other hand.
>Try to be cool and OMFG IM SO COOL, I saw a dustbin next to the girls, so I decided to chuck my half full bottle into the 30 cm gap.
>I miss and the bottle hits one of the girls making her soaking wet.
>I fucking speed out of the area as fast as I can with the faint noise of the girls shouting swear words at me.

Hi, /r9k/. I have a pretty gross confession to make, but its a long story so I guess that I'll just send it in a few different posts with this trip. Here goes. I'll start with my current situation before the incidents that followed..

I still live at home, I'm 19 and will be turning 20 soon. I've been out of school for nearly two years now and its starting to bother me that I'm still hanging around the house. I do the college thing and work and all that, but I still feel kind of lonely. Don't get me wrong, I've had girlfriends and all that but I still feel a little sad here and again. Little things bother and agitate me more than when I was in highschool. I started noticing more about myself that I didn't like. My hair, my body, etc. I'm starting to think I'm giving myself OCD or some shit. Well anyway, onto the story.

ITT: Moments in your life where your mind screamed "ABORT!"

>20 years old.
>Single and lonely, going through college.
>Get a facebook message from a cute reclusive nerdy girl I used to date in high school.
>We talk for awhile and it's really great.
>She asks if we could meet up.
>Excited, things are finally looking up.
>Go to the coffee shop that she asked me to meet her at.
>See her across the room.
>She's extremely pregnant.
>Turn around and leave.
>Don't respond to her emails.

>jacking off to incest milf porn on computer
>get going really good for a while
>hear a creak in the floorboards behind me
>my mom tried to quietly sneak out of the room
>she had been watching me jack off for AT LEAST 10 minutes
>she doesn't know i know she was there

I still haven't cum.

WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO?!?!?

Have you ever had an online girlfriend?

Share your stories.

Badly drawn animals.