/r9k2/ - Robot9001 (Oct. 2011 on)

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Anonymous Thu 23 May 2013 20:27:07 No.7035398 View View Reply Original Report

Quoted By:

Housemate/roommate stories?

I'll start.

>be beta skinny pale guy
>roommate is gorgeous blonde qt
>we're sitting on the sofa one day
>she asks for a foot massage
>okay.png
>have foot fetish, have to hide boner pretend I'm enjoying it less than I am
>sweating like fuck

What are your housemates like robots?
What do they do to annoy you?
What do you like about them?

pic semi related, found on google.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1369205606679.jpg, 39KiB, 200x246

Anonymous Fri 24 May 2013 18:12:19 No.7048349 Report

Quoted By:

>>7037774
>>7037774
> you all believe this

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 24 May 2013 18:19:21 No.7048397 Report

Quoted By:

>>7037210
Fuck her, finish as quick as possible, preferably on her face.

Get dressed and leave immediately after.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1369204979376.jpg, 29KiB, 305x225

Anonymous Fri 24 May 2013 18:19:41 No.7048400 Report

Quoted By: >>7048429

>>7048330
it was a very bad and unbelievable story but it gave you all boners and hope that an average girl would wander into your home like a lost puppy and sleep in the same bed with you

moo !!QHO0KbEDKhP

moo !!QHO0KbEDKhP Fri 24 May 2013 18:24:24 No.7048429 Report

Quoted By:

>>7048400
>weird creepy fuck that wanders into your house and starts living in your bed
>average girl

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 24 May 2013 18:30:27 No.7048474 Report

Quoted By: >>7048501

>live with best friend and his gf
>me and best friend have normal 9-5 jobs
>gf does fuck all, stays up until 6am every day doing fuck all on her laptop, can hear her all night
>anytime we have people over she's in her room with the door shut
>if it's supper time during this, bf brings her food then comes back out
>walk into living room/their room
>dishes, dishes everywhere
>doesn't pay rent
>never cleans/does fuck all

oh women, must be fucking hard, eh?

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 24 May 2013 18:34:18 No.7048501 Report

Quoted By: >>7048514

>>7048474
>her room
>best friend and his gf
>his gf
>her room

wat.

she has her own room?

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 24 May 2013 18:36:02 No.7048514 Report

Quoted By:

>>7048501
no, it's their room. my bad

Hakhan !2Zin57W/pA

Hakhan !2Zin57W/pA Fri 24 May 2013 18:38:26 No.7048539 Report

Quoted By:

>>7035962
>calls MF average
>loves Lil Wayne
it's like you have shit taste or something
also, polite sage.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 24 May 2013 19:02:05 No.7048707 Report

Quoted By:

>>7036195
>How do I write fiction?

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 24 May 2013 19:02:40 No.7048713 Report

Quoted By:

>>7036195
Got some bad news for you, it's called a tulpa and your brain done goofed.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO lel.jpg, 751KiB, 2849x3474

Anonymous Fri 24 May 2013 19:05:22 No.7048734 Report

Quoted By:

>>7036266
>euthanize sofa

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO k.jpg, 15KiB, 446x358

Anonymous Fri 24 May 2013 19:07:36 No.7048745 Report

Quoted By:

>>7036516
>i'm probably a 8/10

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 24 May 2013 19:08:21 No.7048749 Report

Quoted By:

>>7036516
>rape
>awsome experience
pick the lower one faggot

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 24 May 2013 19:09:35 No.7048761 Report

Quoted By:

>>7036716
>implying the person exists outside his mind

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 24 May 2013 20:10:14 No.7049233 Report

Quoted By:

>women roommates

I can't fathom the thought of being around women all day. I see girls about twice a year (outside of cashiers, family, etc.) and it would be like living with aliens that think I'm an ugly creep and hate my guts.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 24 May 2013 20:29:36 No.7049376 Report

Quoted By:

>>7036516
>i'm probably a 8/10

I'm imagining some skinnyfat pale guy with long greasy hair and a fedora.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 24 May 2013 20:35:28 No.7049436 Report

Quoted By: >>7051060

>Sink full of dishes
>One roommate apologizes for it because they're just lazy
>They do all their dishes and put them away
>Sink still full of dishes
>Other roommate bugs me
>"Anon! Other roommate did all their dishes and these aren't mine, so they must all be yours!"
>"I only own 1 bowl, 1 plate, and a spoon. Everything I use, I was and put away afterwards"
>"Well so do I, and I didn't do these so they must be yours. Unless youre just stupid and forgot! Im not doing them! Why should I do them theyrenotmineyouguysneedtotakeresponsibilty"

>I clean them just because its bugging all of us now
>Sit down in living room
>Slightly step on a bowl lying next to my roommate
>They move it aside and let it sit there
>Find it next day laying in the sink
>Along with several other dishes
they swear its not theirs, despite us watching them put it there.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 24 May 2013 20:49:10 No.7049565 Report

Quoted By:

>Female roommate wakes me up
>"ANON! OH GOD! ANON! HELP!"
>"whut?"
>"Get up right now! Oh god! I need help!"
>See the bathroom is flooding due to clogging
>Water coming out of shower drain and all over the house
>I stand there fixing it and plunging
>"Anon! I need you to fix this, I have to head to work right now, and I dont have time"
>Fix the water problem, but its coming back up
>"ANON! Aren't you doing anything!? Go get some Draino, Id go but Im leaving right now!"
>Go to store, but draino, and head back to use it
>Roommate is standing in the bathroom putting on her make up
>"I thought you were leaving. Help me out"
>"I TOLD YOU I DONT HAVE TIME!"
>I use draino and its working just enough to prevent flooding if I dont stop plunging
>"Hey, can you wake up our other roommate so I can get help?"
>"OHMYGOD! Do I have to do everything for you!? You do it! Im leaving!"
>"Its just that if I leave, the bathroom will over flow again, so I need someone to get help so we can fix this"
>"Youre being such a little bitch andIhaveworkandallthisstressandIjustwokeupOMG"
>they leave
>Eventually roommate wakes up and helps me out
>The problem was the pipes being backed up due to bitch roommates hair
>"Oh LOL! Yeah, my hair does that sometimesLOL!"

Then they start claiming how they're the man of the house because I sometimes enjoy musicals

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 24 May 2013 20:49:18 No.7049566 Report

Quoted By:

>>7044737
Yorkie, hypoallergenic

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO screaminig.gif, 487KiB, 500x254

Anonymous Fri 24 May 2013 20:56:33 No.7049639 Report

Quoted By: >>7060042

>in bed, asleep
>woken by terrified scream and shouts for help from down the hall
>pull on pants, run to the screams
>"Oh thank God, anon! I just got back and there's a spider on my pillow! Please take it off!"
>wat
>check time
>3 in the morning
>she starts swinging her shoe at the spider, trying to kill it
>make her stop, get glass and paper
>take spider outside
>door closes
>no key or phone because I am just out of bed
>bitch doesn't hear me knocking
>go around, knock on window
>bitch thinks I'm trying to break in and starts screaming again

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 24 May 2013 21:04:37 No.7049725 Report

Quoted By: >>7049781 >>7049814 >>7049845 >>7050169

>Get sick in the middle of the night
>Throwing up and in tremendous pain
>Call out for help
>No one responds
>I go outside my house looking for help when get found
>Ambulance comes and take me away
>I see my roommates open up our door to see me being carted off
>Realize those faggots were inside the whole time and just ignored me
>They just try to rake in the attention as they start saying "Oh! Thats my friend! Poor guy" as bitches flock to such a caring person
>Those faggots dont even talk to me and write passive aggressive notes to aimed at me
>I get fixed up and given a shit load of drugs
>Hospital releases me
>Im still in my Pajamas, have no keys or shoes, and left my wallet at home
>Its winter
>I dont have my glasses either. And I dont know where this hospital is
>Use Hospital phone to call my roommates
>"Uh yeah! I think you have the wrong number"
>I get a creepy stranger to drive me home, but cant tell them where I live since I cant see
>Takes forever but get home
>Roommates dont even talk to me the next day

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 24 May 2013 21:08:27 No.7049759 Report

Quoted By:

>flatmate was drunk and stoned
>trying to order a taxi
>the postcode where we wanted to go ended in 3TP
>after reading the postcode, flatmate says "Yeah that's right, 3 for tiger and P for pango"
>didn't realise he just spouted retard shit while we were all pissing ourselves laughing

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 24 May 2013 21:10:06 No.7049781 Report

Quoted By:

>>7049725
Why are you still living with them again?

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 24 May 2013 21:14:26 No.7049814 Report

Quoted By:

>>7049725
>being so spineless that you willingly live with these douchebags

I don't even feel sorry for you.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 24 May 2013 21:17:50 No.7049845 Report

Quoted By: >>7053963

>>7049725

>vomit
>go to hospital

If you're that much of a hypochondriac, they probably thought it wasn't a big deal. Since you were released within a day, they were right.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 24 May 2013 21:53:49 No.7050169 Report

Quoted By:

>>7049725
I feel the need to bump this thread just so everybody can look upon this post and truly see what a wimp really is. Even our lowest omegas are above this guy.

You need to re-evaluate your shit.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 24 May 2013 23:17:00 No.7050937 Report

Quoted By:

>>7036995

>with your meat thermometer
9/10

Top lel

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 24 May 2013 23:32:14 No.7051060 Report

Quoted By: >>7052045

>>7049436
>excess dishes that don't clean themselves
Into the trash it goes

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 24 May 2013 23:39:51 No.7051108 Report

Quoted By:

>>7045513
You should wait until he's sleeping and rickroll his dumb ass

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 25 May 2013 00:38:43 No.7051671 Report

Quoted By:

I WONT LET YOU DIE ON ME THREAD!!!!

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 25 May 2013 01:18:42 No.7052045 Report

Quoted By:

>>7051060
lol'd

bloxoriginal

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 25 May 2013 02:10:20 No.7052728 Report

Quoted By:

bumpbumpbump---

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 25 May 2013 02:13:50 No.7052770 Report

Quoted By:

>liberal, fanatical ribbit using, feminist, adventure time watching, cunt

What a dumb bitch. Kept trying to get my thrown out even though she wasn't on the lease. A damn shame he fiance is so cool and sensible.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1368040103731.gif, 2MiB, 236x224

Anonymous Sat 25 May 2013 02:32:49 No.7052993 Report

Quoted By:

>Going to college for mechanic degree
>Live with 2 female roommates
>They will literally wake me up to do EVERYTHING
>Expect me to be able to fix their car in the middle of the street "cuz you're a mechanic, lol"
>mfw the car is fucked and they need to bring it into a shop but they wont because "you're a mechanic anon!"

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 25 May 2013 03:18:55 No.7053561 Report

Quoted By: >>7053997

>>7040600
Way to be a dick and just let him die, though.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 25 May 2013 03:55:17 No.7053963 Report

Quoted By:

>>7049845
It could've been vomiting induced by the pain of appendicitis or some shit going really wrong. He didn't include it in his post. You don't know, so stop trying to lord yourself over people.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 25 May 2013 03:57:46 No.7053983 Report

Quoted By:

>>7044395
Some girls are just like this.. They're really really territorial. That guys gf most likely doesn't give a fuck about liking you or whatever.. She just instinctively hates another female being near her. She is completely irrational like a dog chasing cars she just does it and has no idea what her goals are or how she wants to achieve them..

I lived with a girl like this. She was a super control freak and a complete bitch.. Selfish as all fuck and completely uncaring of her bf who's my bro. Idk why he kept putting up with her but he did.

She would have dreams about me being an asshole or me bringing asshole-ish girls over to the house and the girls stealing her stuff and then she'd be mad at me in real life about it. i shit you not

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 25 May 2013 03:58:54 No.7053997 Report

Quoted By:

>>7053561
My dad was too scared to get help because he was afraid the landlords would hear about it. He thought Jeff would get better after a bit. It was the wrong decision in the end.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 25 May 2013 04:03:09 No.7054046 Report

Quoted By: >>7054444

>college
>roommate is obese, completely unremarkable white male with slight southern accent
>must have OCD or some kind of related disorder
>eats dinner at the same time every day
>every single fucking day he watches "the replacement" (with keanu reeves)
>has a christian motivational poster on his wall
>eventually takes it down and the bible on his desk disappears as well (never figured out why)
>one time go seven weeks without saying a single word to him or him to me

I hated him.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 25 May 2013 04:35:28 No.7054444 Report

Quoted By: >>7054605 >>7059958

>>7054046
How can you share a room with someone for 7 weeks without saying a word?

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 25 May 2013 04:47:44 No.7054594 Report

Quoted By: >>7055870

That hollow feel when an intriguing story in a thread ends up with a whimper instead of a bang.
Disappointbump.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 25 May 2013 04:49:13 No.7054605 Report

Quoted By:

>>7054444
not that hard, just do it for two weeks, then i think the last five would come pretty easily.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 25 May 2013 06:40:19 No.7055870 Report

Quoted By: >>7056845

>>7054594
lame, was expecting a dramatic conclusion.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 25 May 2013 07:56:27 No.7056845 Report

Quoted By:

>>7055870
anticlimactic

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 25 May 2013 10:02:27 No.7058206 Report

Quoted By:

>>7036783
Really? I hear of it all the time at uni, though only with off-campus apartments, not dorms.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 25 May 2013 10:05:00 No.7058229 Report

Quoted By: >>7059965

>>7037272
Almost every female dorm/apartment room I've seen has been pretty nasty, don't know why people instantly assume women will be cleaner. Youngish women/girls are fucking slobs.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 25 May 2013 13:54:49 No.7059958 Report

Quoted By: >>7062820

>>7054444
I haven't talked to my roommate for a lot longer.

>TDW !okQaEnsJuE

>TDW !okQaEnsJuE Sat 25 May 2013 13:55:59 No.7059965 Report

Quoted By:

>>7058229
there's a really specific smell of girl dorms that's like perfume/shampoo + vagina + feet.

i have a lot of roommate stories but this thread is almost dead. if a new one pops up i'll do it there.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 25 May 2013 14:16:03 No.7060042 Report

Quoted By:

>>7049639
Reminded me of a similar story

>Australian
>Studying in the US
>Live with 2 dudebros in a small flat
>Awoken by laughter and screams
>Both flatmates and one of their friends are hiding behind the couch and throwing shoes and cushions across the room
>When I ask, they tell me a 'giant' spider is behind the book case
>It's no more than 3 inches legspan
>Pick it up with my hands and place it out the window onto the balcony
>Everytime they have a party now they re-tell the story, each time exaggerating the size of the spider more and more

Maybe one day it'll get me laid

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 25 May 2013 20:43:33 No.7062820 Report

Quoted By:

>>7059958
how long? bloxy

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