/r9k2/ - Robot9001 (Oct. 2011 on)

[434 / 0 / ?]

9KiB, 296x222, ohglob.jpg

Embarrassment stories

Anonymous Fri 21 Jun 2013 05:48:26 No.7424191 View View Reply Original Report

Quoted By:

Embarrassment stories

>be 15
>fappin to glorious manga comics one night
>go to bed
>wake up
>school
>home
>mother calls me downstairs
>she's on the computer
>she brought up my history
>Jpg img on screen of a guy with enormous cock bulging the woman's stomach
>she looks pregnant with guys cock inside her
>cum leaking out of her
>begging him to stop
>mfw
>anon I am disgusted

Super happy she didn't find the Futa comics

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 23 Jun 2013 21:28:15 No.7459936 Report

Quoted By:

Not me but my cousin:

>be 9
>Cousin is 11
>Playing around my house and at the garages at the back
>Stayed in a flat on the first floor
>The front door to the flat was locked because of some buzzer system
>Cousin needed to shit
>he rang my buzzer but got no answer
>Couldnt get inside
>im like whatever and run off to kick a ball about
>come back 5 mins later to find my cousin outside the front door of the flat, completely naked (apparantly he always stripped off totally) taking a shit
>Some dude on the second floor is absolutely horrified at this and shouts on his wife to come see
>I'm pissing myself laughing
>Cousin is bright red, realises what the fuck he is doing, grabs his clothes, and his shit and runs to the bins behind the flat where he drops the turd and gets changed

Turns out my mum was in the shower and didn't hear the buzzer, but god damn i can't imagine how he feels when remembering this

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 23 Jun 2013 21:30:22 No.7459962 Report

Quoted By:

>>7447877
HUE! Why would you play that in a public place anyway? You had it coming brock.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 23 Jun 2013 22:04:51 No.7460290 Report

Quoted By:

Wow dude hey dude fyah fewh

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 23 Jun 2013 22:08:20 No.7460324 Report

Quoted By: >>7460371

>>7453410
Reminds me of this unintentional fuck up:
>be in some club in uni
>one of the regulars, call him M, a staff member (call him N) and me are having a conversation
>M isn't a very attractive guy but this is a non-issue.
>somehow our conversation turns into how we remember people by
>direct myself to M and spurt out the first, didiculously stupid thing that comes to my head as a joke and say "...and I'd say, oh look, it's that ugly dude"
>M goes completely silent, N makes this half-laughing ohhhhhhh while looking at M
>realize split a second later what just happened.
>Apologize profusely without realizing this makes it worse (confirms it was intentional and not accidental)
>M is completely serious
>M leaves early
>M acts avoids me and acts cold and distant when he has to talk to me for the rest of my time in that uni

Seriously, I didn't mean to insult him at all. I wasn't even thinking about his looks when I said that. I just said something that I thought would be non-sequitur funny as a joke, but didn't realize it came out as an actual statement.

Feel like shit every time I think about it.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 23 Jun 2013 22:12:56 No.7460365 Report

Quoted By:

>>7453410
Reminds me of once when I was like 15 this guy from the next town over called Graham Gartshore died in the Canal.

None of us knew him so we joked around about him dying (edgy teens)

Then one day my friend Stew and I were hanging around with this girl Jenny.

We were by the canal and I was sort of wrestling Jenny and I was like "Whoa watch it, do you want to make me the next Gartshore or something?"

Jenny stepped back and was shocked.

Stew was like "Man, she knew him!"

I was like "Oh shit. I'm so sorry. Look...can we just pretend like that never happened?"

and she was like "Ok. Lets."

and we did. It was weird.

But makes me gringo every time.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 23 Jun 2013 22:13:51 No.7460370 Report

Quoted By:

>be 14
>new year at school
>grill smiles at me
>raise hand
>"Angela smiled at me, it's putting me off my work. She keeps distracting me"
>teacher looks confused
>Angela looks sad
>feel smug as fuck

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 23 Jun 2013 22:13:58 No.7460371 Report

Quoted By:

>>7460324
Man no wonder the guy didn't like you after that, haha. Harsh as fuck. Maybe he had a crush on you too. Hurts

- sincerely, an ugly guy

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 23 Jun 2013 22:24:47 No.7460482 Report

Quoted By:

>>7432817
I did the same with my gf a few years ago.
She realised and played along with it making noises and stuff.
>"Ooooh anon fuck me harder"
>"cum all over my face anon"

I'm seconds from cumming when I hear a male voice shouting in the background. Obviously she's been caught by her dad/brother.

Needless to say, I never saw her again.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1370100195101.jpg, 37KiB, 479x282

Anonymous Sun 23 Jun 2013 22:35:15 No.7460605 Report

Quoted By:

>>7457963
>father burnt my presents in front of me the same day he found out

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 23 Jun 2013 22:56:21 No.7460854 Report

Quoted By:

>>7442656
>blackest man to ever live.

9/10 anon

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 23 Jun 2013 23:01:32 No.7460923 Report

Quoted By:

>>7440998
I choose only the best stuff for my folder, something unique and appealing so I want to get back to this

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 23 Jun 2013 23:44:19 No.7461351 Report

Quoted By:

>7th grade reading class
>sit with two normal girls and a really short awkward blonde boy
>we talk amongst ourselves at the end of every class
>blonde and i end up talking about video games
>excitedly half-yelling about santa claus or some shit (i was a little aspie back then)
>the two other girls at my table are giggling and whispering
>one says the boy's name
>"are you and anon dating?"
>more giggling
>i laugh and turn to him to see what he says
>he turns beet red and mutters "n-no..."
>never talks to me again
>mfw i liked him and wished he had said yes

Syndicate

Syndicate Sun 23 Jun 2013 23:46:16 No.7461372 Report

Quoted By:

>>7459204
Your brother was not a "bro", so to speak.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 23 Jun 2013 23:54:54 No.7461456 Report

Quoted By:

>>7427982
/jp/ here.

10/10 would be qt for you

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 24 Jun 2013 00:13:10 No.7461685 Report

Quoted By:

>>7427982

/huehue/ here

10/10 Would steal money on the internet with

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 24 Jun 2013 00:13:47 No.7461692 Report

Quoted By:

>>7441405

Always a moron, alway a moron...

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 24 Jun 2013 00:27:00 No.7461849 Report

Quoted By: >>7461983

>be 16
>watching my 14 year old little sister while my parents are on vacation
>stay awake until 12
>decide to get some water
>get out in the hallway
>notice a light coming from my sister's room
>barely open door
>also hear soft moaning
>OH SHIT
>be curious
>open the door just enough to watch her masturbating
>get the biggest erection
>i pull out my dick and slowly rub it
>hear her give a final moan and realize she's finished
>PANIC and pull my pants back up and run to my room and SLAM the door
>2 minutes later she knocks on my door
>D-DID YOU SEE?
>N-N-N-N-N Y-Y-YES
>hear soft crying outside
>I tell her from the other side of my door, too embarrassed to look at her face, it's perfectly natural and everyone does it
>she says ok and goes to sleep

I don't know if she saw me, though.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 24 Jun 2013 00:38:35 No.7461983 Report

Quoted By: >>7462021

>>7461849
that's so cute you're both awkward little weirdos, you should've told her to lock her door from now on though

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 24 Jun 2013 00:42:06 No.7462021 Report

Quoted By: >>7462360

>>7461983
I did the next morning after she ate her breakfast.

Yelled shut up and we both started to laugh and say we loved each other.

I miss living at home ;_;

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 24 Jun 2013 01:05:59 No.7462286 Report

Quoted By: >>7463126 >>7463355 >>7464121

>Year 11 talent show (Britfag)
>I got friendzoned about 2 days before hand
>Change my act at the last minute to "Every rose has its thorn
>I'm not a bad singer so it goes well
>For a bit

>2 minutes in I start thinking of her
>Get really bitter
>Start singing it whilst crying
>Walk up to her and start yelling the lyrics about 6 inches from her face
>Whole school looking terrified
>Finish the song and realize what I did
>Piss myself and throw mic at her face screaming
>I knocked out her front tooth
>PE teacher (Like 6'5") tackles me and drags me out of the hall

I moved to Liverpool a week later and never saw any of them again
>Blood and piss all over the floor

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 24 Jun 2013 01:11:36 No.7462360 Report

Quoted By:

>>7462021
did you fuck her? le original face

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 24 Jun 2013 01:18:02 No.7462445 Report

Quoted By:

>>7427982
what in the name of fuck is going on here?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 24 Jun 2013 01:35:31 No.7462677 Report

Quoted By: >>7464943

>18
>First Job
>Sort of accepted by the other, older guys
>Especially friendly with 26 year old
>He's a drummer, covered in tattoos, in a band...generally cool guy, although intimidating
>Basically totally opposite to me
>Eating lunch
>Try to say something to fit in
>Men like talking about women
>QT in canteen line
>"She's hot as fuck, I'd bang her"
>Think it sounds alright, despite me clearly being a no kiss virgin
>People check her out and agree with me
>A while later
>"Now...that chick. No thanks. 30 tattoos and probably even more STDs. I hate chicks with tattoos"
>Everyone turns around to see who I'm talking about
>Drummer: "Dude, that's my fucking wife"
>mfw

I genuinely thought he was going to kick my face in.

Things were never the same after that.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 24 Jun 2013 01:42:30 No.7462781 Report

Quoted By:

>>7427982
pic rater here.

10/10 would hit it

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 24 Jun 2013 01:54:28 No.7462978 Report

Quoted By:

>>7455631
she had it coming, be honest with yourself

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 24 Jun 2013 02:02:14 No.7463094 Report

Quoted By:

>15
>gym class
>playing this game
>everyone wears the flags from flagfoot ball
>run around the gym
>steal the flags of people you lap
>whoever has the most wins
>not really into it cause I'm slow
>about to get lapped
>guy grabs my flag
>accidentally grabs my gym pants too
>pants are these old sweat pants my sister had
>they rip from the pocket to my knee
>trip
>pants fall around my knees
>crack my head on the floor
>too dazed to get up right away or pull up my sweats
>everyone sees my panties
>crying from hitting my head
>desperately try to pull my pants up
>don't realize there is a huge hole in them and everyone can still see my bum
>gym teacher blows the whistle
>tells people to go around me
>people run past me several times before I get up and retreat to the locker room

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 24 Jun 2013 02:03:59 No.7463126 Report

Quoted By:

>>7462286
>Start singing it whilst crying
>Walk up to her and start yelling the lyrics about 6 inches from her face
I don't think I have ever literally cringed at a greentext before I read this

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 24 Jun 2013 02:10:39 No.7463226 Report

Quoted By:

>two years ago
>be using muh ps3 to look at hardcore tentacle hentai and shit
>trade systems with a buddy
>find out just yesterday that he saw my history and knew about my tentacle adventures
>he told all my other friends too
>they've been laughing about it behind my back all this time
>still deny the fuck out of it

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1344631687418.jpg, 49KiB, 347x370

Anonymous Mon 24 Jun 2013 02:19:24 No.7463355 Report

Quoted By:

>>7462286
I'm so sorry this happened to you

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 24 Jun 2013 03:27:39 No.7464121 Report

Quoted By:

>>7462286

At least you can make people laugh with that story oh man I'm dying over here

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1324276492638.jpg, 157KiB, 769x794

Anonymous Mon 24 Jun 2013 03:35:38 No.7464218 Report

Quoted By: >>7464465 >>7464946 >>7465164

>be at friends house smoking marihuana
>there's this muslim dude there
>keep telling all these racist jokes aimed at him
>it progresses, I can't stop
>"stoned to death has diffferent meanings for us two"
>"jihad like, really bad cough, we should qurantine you"
>he gets mad, calls me a bigot
>"atleast I have a foreskin and respect for women"
>he kinda shuts down, kinda, just stares at the floor
>"ey, don't get all explosive, it's only in good fun"
>no reaction
>"does your mum has a mustache?"
>he starts to cry

Casually browsing /pol/ has made me into this lexicon of offensive jokes, and I have next to no self-control. I get into these situations all the fucking time now.
Poor dude prolly hates me to death now.
Just as I hate myself.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 24 Jun 2013 03:45:49 No.7464350 Report

Quoted By: >>7465590

>Be 14 years old
>In PE Class
>Fire Alarm goes off
>We all have to go outside in our tshirts and shorts, although a few of us quickly grabbed our jackets
>It's pretty cold outside since its winter
>Cute girl in class is cold
>try to offer cute girl my jacket
>"y-y-you can wear my jacket if you want"
>she doesn't even look at me or acknowledge me
>tfw

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 24 Jun 2013 03:55:01 No.7464465 Report

Quoted By:

>>7464218
I sometimes make jokes directed at my muslim friend, like "Don't terrorize us" or "That's going to be the bomb" and such but it's all in good faith when he enjoys that too. If he doesn't, you just act like an asshole.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 24 Jun 2013 04:22:32 No.7464783 Report

Quoted By:

>Be 13 years old
>With friend outside
>Sitting on top of mailbox
>Friend starts tickling me
>I'm laughing hard
>So hard I fall off mailbox
>Fall onto small fence
>my ass lands on a part of the fence that sticks out
>it hits my anus
>I scream like a girl
>I piss my pants
>"AGHHHHH MAH BUM"
>burst into tears
>friend is laughing his ass off
>"AH PEED MASELF"
>he laughs even harder
>get drove home by friend's mum as I smell like piss
>butt hurts for days

I was raped by a fence

lol good times

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 24 Jun 2013 04:31:16 No.7464904 Report

Quoted By:

>>7456489
it is splendid

moo !!QHO0KbEDKhP

moo !!QHO0KbEDKhP Mon 24 Jun 2013 04:33:41 No.7464943 Report

Quoted By:

>>7462677
Haha pretty bad.

I did something fairly similar. Saw my friend talking to some absolute skank, when he returned to us I asked why he was talking to a hooker, turned out it was his gf.

He just laughed it off though.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 24 Jun 2013 04:33:58 No.7464946 Report

Quoted By:

>>7464218

Congrats on confirming any stereotypes he held about americunts though.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 24 Jun 2013 04:41:20 No.7465048 Report

Quoted By:

>>7427982
/lit/ here
10/10 would read again

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 24 Jun 2013 04:45:14 No.7465100 Report

Quoted By: >>7465497

>8th grade
>look like shit, far too long hair for my face, black clothes, longsleeves, cargo pants, sometimes black nail polish
>have gigantic crush on girl in my class (might have been love for all I know)
>get deeply friendzoned
>we have to do some kind of assignment
>am in a group with my crush and her best friend (also female)
>"Hey anon, we should do that over at your place!"
>-"S-sure."
>they come over to my place later that day
>they go into my room
>Warhammer miniatures, paints, video games, mangas everywhere
>they slowly walk over to my bed because I have no other place to sit except for my office chair and a couch that is cluttered with clothes and assorted smaller items
>"Sooo...let's start with the assignment then."
>go quickly over what we have to do, split up the parts and call it a day
>as they're leaving, my crush notices as a large box on my floor
>"What's in there anon?"
>my time to shine has come
>if my other possessions don't impress her, this sure will
>-"Oh! This is just the box in which my sword came!"
>get the sword down from my closet
>it's a cheap sword with tribal painting and a plastic handle
>-"Do you want to hold it?"
>push it into her hand
>"That's...cool. Ok, see you in school tomorrow."
>they leave
>I stay behind
>with my sword in my hand
>and my heart on the floor

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 24 Jun 2013 04:49:38 No.7465164 Report

Quoted By:

>>7464218
God damn you should, holy shit

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1370896486266.jpg, 28KiB, 492x341

Anonymous Mon 24 Jun 2013 05:04:24 No.7465377 Report

Quoted By:

>>7442530
>>7447200
oh fuck me 10/10

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1371258275738.png, 32KiB, 200x258

Anonymous Mon 24 Jun 2013 05:06:29 No.7465402 Report

Quoted By:

>>7458007
"Hey mom look what I found! I've seen him do this before - it's not very tasty though..."

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 24 Jun 2013 05:13:36 No.7465497 Report

Quoted By:

>>7465100
What a bunch of douches of a friends you had Anon. Good thin you dumped them and got real friends, right?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 24 Jun 2013 05:21:28 No.7465590 Report

Quoted By:

>>7464350
she might not have heard you

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 24 Jun 2013 06:34:11 No.7466544 Report

Quoted By:

>>7457790
And that no game ever uses B to jump, anyway.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 24 Jun 2013 06:51:01 No.7466810 Report

Quoted By: >>7466819

>>7457183
It's bedtime, newfriend.

>>7457255
You did the right thing, even though you did the right thing at first.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 24 Jun 2013 06:51:35 No.7466819 Report

Quoted By:

>>7466810
wrong thing*

fuck

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1370811894221.jpg, 11KiB, 225x225

Anonymous Mon 24 Jun 2013 06:55:45 No.7466890 Report

Quoted By:

>>7455631
> I get a stick and hit her with it over and over
> Realise after a while that she is just on the ground bleeding and sobbing

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 24 Jun 2013 08:32:56 No.7468290 Report

Quoted By:

>>7433423
>>7433559
>>7433407
Oh man, I'm not the only one who did that? I stopped doing that sometime in my pre-teen years and discovered that if you push down on the crotch it feels good. I didn't even discover jacking off until I was 16. Man, was I out of the loop in my younger years.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 24 Jun 2013 08:40:15 No.7468370 Report

Quoted By:

Oh god

>in 2nd grade
>sitting at the lunch table half-flirting back and forth with a group of girls
>something caused me to pour the Sprite I had in my lunch on my hair for some reason trying to act like what I perceived as a badass.
>someone tells
>I have to stay inside for recess
>1st grade teacher who is friends with my mom scolds me and gives me a lecture about it
luckily it didn't get sticky, unlike my next story

>be on my bed lying on my side with my laptop, I was probably about 14-15
>whacking it hardcore to some weird BBW shit, not sure why. Actress was Samantha Anderson
>lose myself when I cum and jizz all over my covers
>I have nothing to clean it with so I frantically cover it up hoping it'll dry or some shit
>grandma comes in for whatever reason about 5 minutes later and I flop around to cover up the spot where I buried my horrible secret
>she sees my bed is a mess and yanks the covers up into place
>the lights were out and she sat down on my bed
>GRANDMA'S HAND HAS MADE CONTACT WITH MY SEMEN
>she asks what the spot is on the bed and I'm feeling so hot from embarrassment and fear I can't think
>I say I accidentally sneezed on the bed
>"There's way too much to be snot"
>"I think I have a sinus infection!"
>she eventually leaves and I wallow in shame, knowing that she knew full well what she had put her hand in, and was feeling embarrassment just like I was, but was feeling disappointment instead of fear.
I still think of this on a regular basis and shudder. Dear god it's embarrassing.

Capcode	All Only User Posts Only Verified Posts Only Moderator Posts Only Manager Posts Only Admin Posts Only Developer Posts Only Founder Posts
Show Posts	All Only With Images Only Without Images Only Spoiler Images Only Non-Spoiler Images
Deleted Posts	All Only Deleted Posts Only Non-Deleted Posts
Ghost Posts	All Only Ghost Posts Only Non-Ghost Posts
Post Type	All Only Sticky Threads Only Opening Posts Only Reply Posts
Results	All Grouped By Threads
Order	Latest Posts First Oldest Posts First

On these archives

Your latest searches

Embarrassment stories