Update 2024-03-27: Greatly expanded the "Samples" page and renamed it to "Glossary".
Update 2024-04-04: Added 5 million mid-2011 posts from the k47 post dump. Browse (mostly) them here.
Update 2024-04-07: Added ~400 October 2003 posts from 4chan.net. Browse them here.

Welcome to Oldfriend Archive, the official 4chan archive of the NSA. Hosting ~170M text-only 2003-2014 4chan posts (mostly 2006-2008).

Threads by latest replies - Page 11

No.2088903 View ViewReplyLast 50OriginalReport
Let's post our crushes!

>Beth
>Most beautiful girl I've ever seen
>Funny, charming, witty
>Great taste in movies & music.
54 posts omitted
!!be9INILBgwS

!!be9INILBgwS No.2074363 View ViewReplyLast 50OriginalReport
Can we get a fembot feels thread going?

>That feel when you're masturbating with a toy and it slips a little

I'm pretty sure I just lost my urethra penetration virginity.
503 posts omitted

No.2077221 View ViewReplyOriginalReport
>Have girlfriend
>Mutual love
>Loses her virginity to me
>She's satisfied
>We drive home
>She puts on some sex related song from the Glee soundtrack
>"Ah...ha. Can we, uh, not listen to this please?"
>"Haha, ok, I only meant it as a joke anyways, THIS is the song I actually wanted to play."
>Like a Virgin by Madonna
>MOMENT FUCKING RUINED

This was probably the worst ending to sex I've ever had.
23 posts omitted
!aSC400nFNA

One of every pokemon vs A fucking billion lions

!aSC400nFNA No.2036101 View ViewReplyLast 50OriginalReport
This was a pretty big debate on /b about 6 months ago that lasted through at least 3-4 different threads (so like 1000 posts total).

Basically, there's one of every single type of pokemon ever made (I don't know the exact number but it's like 600 or 700 and something) up against a billion lions.

Who wins?
506 posts omitted
!!CSEoh3XAJua

!!CSEoh3XAJua No.2035518 View ViewReplyLast 50OriginalReport
someone made a good point recently. We haven't had a good ole tard thread.


Post your best tard stories, heartwarming or hilarious.

Get the autistic stories running as well, always good for a laugh
125 posts omitted
!!r0xuiW0gdil

!!r0xuiW0gdil No.2030887 View ViewReplyLast 50OriginalReport
The continuing story of Orange, M, and S.

Just in case the other 404's
Until the other one 404's don't post in here.
203 posts omitted
!!r0xuiW0gdil

!!r0xuiW0gdil No.2028648 View ViewReplyLast 50OriginalReport
Alright /r9k/ let me tell you a story of massive love, faggotry, and revenge. I am 24 now, but to be understood I must start back in the old days, of High School when I was a measly 17 year old... Picture is related but you will hear that later on

>Born and raised in Southern Michigan
>Lived in a miniscule town, pretty much 80% Christian die-hards
>The high school was 'public' but religion was everywhere
>Some teachers actually made you say prayers until about 5 years ago, she got fired
Anyway, I was non-religious entirely (Not an atheist really, just unconcerned) and this left me with a rather small amount of friends.
But one day in the mid-fall of sophomore year, something amazing happened.
>Today we have a new student, kids
>Her name is (We'll call her M for this story)
>fantastic east asian girl walks in
>nobody seems to care
>I guess some people were slightly xenophobic then, maybe I was too I don't know
>It wasn't until lunch that I thought anything of this
>usually sit by myself at the 'special' table (it was reserved for kids with allergies who couldn't eat school lunch, etc.)
>but the table was mostly empty. anyway
>after grabbing my food, see her awkwardly standing unmoving, obviously bothered as to where to sit since new

(Cont. in next post)
405 posts omitted
!!xYApC7v7+j4

!!xYApC7v7+j4 No.1996589 View ViewReplyLast 50OriginalReport
>What is your major?
>Teach us something interesting from your studies which is not common knowledge.
502 posts omitted
!wAvwo2I7O.

!wAvwo2I7O. No.2004999 View ViewReplyLast 50OriginalReport
/r9k/ logic thread?

/r9k/ logic thread!

>everyone else is to blame for my refusal to improve my prospects, especially in regards to the things I claim I desperately want in my life.

>no-one should judge me because I am a sensitive human being who deserves respect despite my failings, but I will go out of my way to judge anyone and everyone for failing to meet my expectations of them, implying that I have a right to be angry at people for not complying with how I believe they should conduct themselves.

>the thoughts, actions, morals, etc etc of any woman ever can be found in a singular example of gross stupidity in picture form that I found on 4chan.

>my failure to engage in normal social or sexual behaviour at an appropriate age gives me the right to claim superiority of people who are far more emotionally balanced than me.

>despite years of evidence that shows me exactly how the friendzone works and precisely what to do to avoid it, I will treat women in exactly the manner that puts myself into the friendzone and then complain bitterly about it.

>I am entitled to fall in love with a woman I barely know outside of superficial interactions and if she engages in a relationship with another man I am entitled to be angry with her because she should have respected my unexpressed feelings for her that would in no way have come across as irrational or creepy or outright deluded.

tl'dr - >all of my problems are someone elses fault.
403 posts omitted
!aSC400nFNA

!aSC400nFNA No.1970143 View ViewReplyLast 50OriginalReport
Avoidable situations that you put yourself through in order to minimize social interaction.

Today
>too scared to ask 8/10 girl sitting next to me for a pencil
>spend entire stats lecture writing notes with 1 piece of 0.5 mm pencil led
398 posts omitted