Update 2024-03-27: Greatly expanded the "Samples" page and renamed it to "Glossary".
Update 2024-04-04: Added 5 million mid-2011 posts from the k47 post dump. Browse (mostly) them here.
Update 2024-04-07: Added ~400 October 2003 posts from 4chan.net. Browse them here.
Welcome to Oldfriend Archive, the official 4chan archive of the NSA. Hosting ~170M text-only 2003-2014 4chan posts (mostly 2006-2008).
So, I went to get a new pair of shoes today at the mall. I met up with my girlfriend and her friend, and here's a list of things that stick out in my mind.
>I held the door for an older man who was obviously homeless, with brilliant blue eyes. >He thanked me in a hoarse voice. >The guy behind him was very obese, at least 350 lbs. >and black >He stared me down like it was my DUTY to hold the door for him. >I just chuckled and walked inside. >I was buying a pair of Vans. >ALL of the employees were black or mexican. >I stood there for 20 minutes (yes, I kept track) while two blacks sat behind the counter and laughed >two mexicans and one black were getting shoes in the sizes requested for >Finally, one asked me what I wanted. I told him the shoe and the size. >He went back, and five minutes later, he comes out with a size smaller. >I corrected him, to which he glared at me, and brought back the right shoe and size. >It took 30 minutes to buy a pair of shoes. >I was getting on the bus, and there was a white lady and her daughter, both Aryan, and so i walked up and told them i had an extra transfer slip, constituting a free ride. >They looked harder-off than I, so I took it out and offered it. they told me that they already had passes but thanked me. >We got in a discussion about religion (i'm agnostic, they're catholic) >Right as I was about to get off the bus, the little girl ran up and gave me five free bus tickets.
I'm not "leaving out" anything people of another race did for me. I'm not taking whatever would sound best on here and posting it. I'm writing everything as I remember it. I'm not "hiding" a time a white slandered me, or a black held a door for me.
I'm interested to see other people's experiences, as well.
The amount of requests I keep getting is staggering so I'm going to keep making threads until it dies down. This thread is to prevent the flow of "This girl is ____ and I ______ what should i do?" threads. You have a problem? Post it here. The next posts will be how to tell if a girl likes you. My promise is that I WILL reply to every post which asks for help. Feel free to email me.
About me: >19 (20 in less than a month) >Average looking, probably a 7 on my best day, average about a 5.5 >Was a diagnosed asspie >Was a kissless virgin until the age of 17 >Basically overcome asspie >Now I have slept with about 17ish girls, and been in 3 decent relationships >Also in love
I've had quite a few emails telling me to make another so here it is. About me: >19 >Average looking, probably a 7 on my best day, average about a 6 >Was a kissless virgin until the age of 17 >Was a diagnosed asspie >Now I have slept with about 17ish girls, and been in 3 decent relationships >Basically overcome asspie
This thread is to prevent the flow of "This girl is ____ and I ______ what should i do?" threads. You have a problem? Post it here. The next posts will be how to tell if a girl likes you. My promise is that I WILL reply to every post which asks for help.
Hello friends. I have a serious dilemma. It's been gnawing at me for days.
It started one day when I had, for the first time in my life, been invited to a house party, a friend of a friend's, who owned an extravagant mansion.
I was really nervous so I didn't drink much and mostly wandered about and chatted to the best of my capability. No spaghetti.
It was kismet that I wandered into a room where one of the school cheerleaders was lying alone on the bed at 3 A.M., who, from my perspective, was passed out drunk.
Now I'm not desperate. 9 years till wizardry, but I had never even kissed a girl before, and so I practiced making out with her lips. She was a huge slut (if what my friend, who's a douchey preppy kid who's popular with the popular kids, tells me is true, and if her Facebook duckfaces mean anything, anyways) and I thought, why shouldn't I have my share? I poked her around and pinched her hard - nothing. I tried to remember how she was doing that night and remembered that she drank quite heavily, shot after shot and never without a beer in hand.
I wasn't worried about or anything because she's WASP and uppercrust and had good health care I'm sure.
>Be today >Extremely hot outside >Hot female friend is wearing a dress >We sit opposite each other in college lecture >Can see straight up her dress >She's not wearing panties >Enjoy the hour lecture We had a three hour gap before our next one >Tell her I have to hand something in about 20 minutes before next one >Go to toilet and fap into a small bottle >Go to the room where the next lecture is >Smear cum on the seat >Walk outside >Lecturer gets there immediately >We go in >I sit next to cum seat >When she gets in quickly guide her onto cum seat, so she can't see it >Her naked vag on my cum Does this make a me a bad person? Picture kinda related
>Driving around at night time >Have my favorite music on the radio >Nobody else on the road, can drive as fast or slow as I want >For these 15 or twenty minutes I'm completely free of any obligations and don't need to do anything for anybody >Feel like I could live in that moment forever
>countless centuries have gone by since I left my Dark Tower >the ruinous powers of the eldritch gods command me to depart on a quest to acquire entertainment >don my chaos warped garments >as I leave my fortress of doom i invoke the Great Progenitors to transport me safely to the hellish orgy taking place >the moment I set foot in the Arcane realm my presence is noted >I see what lesser beings call the fear of God >notice a comely harlot >use my unholy magics to translate the warp tongue in a rudimentary language these foolish mortals can understand >the wench was already marked by a holy seal a paladin had already cast upon her >my spell backfires and accidentally opens the two pocket dimensions in my robe blessed by Yeenoghu himself >C'thulhu forces his long, white, tentacles from the dark realms >unleash unspeakable horrors on everybody at the gathering >hastily make my retreat by summoning the Great Matriarch >teleported back to my Dark Cathedral >Oh, how naive these children are
So robots I've been thinking, what would a nation of 4chan be like?
Consider the following hypothetical scenario: >ship full of 2,500 of randomly chosen 4chan users from all boards are banished from earth >crew is half male, half female >full databases of how-to manuals on modern and future technology, like power plants, farming techniques, car schematics, personal computers etc. >stocked with a large amount of raw materials and enough food to last everyone for 5 years >also stocked with prefabricated housing so everyone would be able to have their own house >lands on a new planet similar to earth >because of space magic is fully habitable and native plant life is completely edible
Would everybody come together and work as a society?
Would the beta and omega shut ins change their lives and contribute and socialize?
Would the misogyny still be as extreme as it is on /r9k/? or would it get even worse?
What would the government be like? will the /fit/izens dominate the s/adv/irgins?
What would the culture be like? Do the Otaku take over? How about the trekkies? Or even the bronies?
How would crime be handled, what would the laws be like? How much morality would this society have?
Most importantly what would you be like? how would you act in a brand new world? Would you be a leader of your people or would you be perfectly content to remain in your house all day?
Okay guys, I think some of you will really enjoy this thread, some of you will probably hate it but I found something hilarious that I have to share. A couple of days ago, I accidentally dropped my phone in some water, and it broke. I wanted to get the numbers off of my sim card, so a buddy of mine gave me his sisters old phone. She's around 17, and extremely religious. when I turned on the phone, there were over 500 messages she saved from her boyfriend, who she dated for a few months. Saved as in she deleted every other message from her inbox except for these ones. These messages, are some of the most beta things I've ever heard. Her boyfriend would apparently send professions of his love for her, a couple times a day, it might not sound that bad but you should see some of these things. It makes it even funnier that she dumped him the second she found a guy slightly better than him, who she then lead into a relationship(while she was still dating mr beta) , which took a few months. I thin we can all learn a lesson from this, and I'll now be posting some if the texts I've found.
