Update 2024-03-27: Greatly expanded the "Samples" page and renamed it to "Glossary".
Update 2024-04-04: Added 5 million mid-2011 posts from the k47 post dump. Browse (mostly) them here.
Update 2024-04-07: Added ~400 October 2003 posts from 4chan.net. Browse them here.
Welcome to Oldfriend Archive, the official 4chan archive of the NSA. Hosting ~170M text-only 2003-2014 4chan posts (mostly 2006-2008).
I guess I need to just get this off my chest; it's a kind of self-therapy for me talking about them. I don't really care whether you believe me or not but I'll say this story is 100% true. I've talked about it a little before on 4chan in places and it really helped me so I guess this is the way of me just clearing the air with myself.
Anyway, I've rambled enough. I'll start at the beginning. I was a heavy weed smoker; me and my friends would often get through an eighth in the afternoon (sometimes in the morning) and another eighth or two at night. It was all just fun for us really, phone calls to one another didn't really consist of 'how are you' it was more 'sup, you got dough?' if the answer was yes we'd all call each other, meet up and start smoking, playing some football, video games. Whatever.
When you smoke weed you tend to talk about 'deep' topics. Religion, conspiracy theories and of course there was more light conversation and idle jokes. I guess the deep topics didn't help. A couple of my friends were religious, so I asked them about what they believed and they asked me about what I did. On my days off from smoking (I.E when there wasn't enough money to pool an eighth) I'd usually research their religion, just to know more about it. I ended up identifying with it strongly, and eventually converted.
Holy shit r9k today I might have found a new addiction. >around 4pm in the metro >talking to a friend until he starts groping a 5-6/10 girl who was standing next to him. >I start thinking holy shit wtf is he doing. This goes on for like 3 stops until we get off, he then dares me to do it when we head back. >See a girl just looking at her cellphone not looking around near the door. >Stand behind her leaning on the door. >Move and Stand directly behind her like my crotch and her ass were like 1mm apart. >Friend covers her side while I put my hand on her hip. >I could FEEL her jump a little then looks up and sees me(she was like 160cm and Im 178cm) >she just looks down while for over five stops I just slide my hand around her waist and a her thigh. >As I'm about to leave quickly rub her crotch. I cant stop thinking about this, it was so fucking hot. If my friend wasnt there I most likely wouldn't have had the balls to do that... By the way I did think about the concequences but I live in South America and the law is shit. Anyway Grope stories, experiences, etc.
ITT we post about asshole teachers preferably elementary ones but others are welcome as well.
>be in 2nd grade >Playing with toy cars on those carpets with all the little roads on them >Teacher tells me and the other kid playing with me to drive right and how its suppose to be teaching us to drive >Ok teacher >after a few minutes she comes back to find cars on the roof on the fire department and others flipped over in ditches >She sits partway down so she is face to face with me and starts yelling at me about how If I was driving a car I would kill everyone in the car with me. >I begin crying >She makes me go into the hallway and cry out there.
So, since apparently most women have taken gallons of cum on their face, why is it that they will casually demand (or even expect) that you use a condom on your cock when you fuck them, but get surprised, sometimes even offended, when you ask them to use a mouth-condom before they can kiss you?
Whether you dated them or just knew them. Let's hear about the most crazy of crazy people: crazy bitches.
Here's mine:
>be 19 and at university >dating girl from local boarding school >she is 17 >hot as fuck redhead with DD's >sex is amazing, gives great head >first few weeks are incredible >then things start to happen >she starts calling all the time to moan about really inane shit (for instance her mum not buying her expensive clothes on a shopping trip) >whenever I give anything other than a "awww poor you response" goes into a flying rage and hangs up >calls me a few minutes later apologising >sometimes in the apology call she would do it again >sometimes after sex she would inexplicably break down crying for hours, mostly screaming about why did her dad never love her >sometimes instead of that she would sit there quiet and wouldn't let me touch her at all and would freak out if I got within 1 metre of her >whenever she got drunk she would always try to run outside naked >I eventually broke up with her >begs me to get back with her for a week >a bit after that she tried to commit suicide >the school didn't want to tell her parents and appear like a bad school >phoned by her friends about this >have to phone her parents at 4 in the morning to tell them their daughter tried to commit suicide and the school didn't want them to know >after that she is nice to me, thanks me >few days later back to WHY DID YOU BREAK UP WITH ME >block all forms of contact and never speak again
She later stole my friend's boyfriend and then gave him herpes by cheating on him and catching it from someone else.
>6 years ago, african savana trip with co-workers, other random people >In a jeep convoy, "let's go off the trail!" >guide says okay, 2 jeeps go off >a woman apparently goes missing from the other jeep >everyone is panicking inside wondering what the fuck
then it were saw
>hear man yelling "HEELP! HEEEEEEEELP!" >i run over and she's limp being dragged into a river by an alligator (or croc, i don't know shit), and it was overwhelmingly surreal >other gators start biting her, the main one starts thrashing around to get them away >she's literally ripped apart in 2 seconds >nfw
