ITT: WE CRINGE ABOUT THINGS WE DID IN THE PAST, anything goes

For me...
>my email address contained the word "nickelback"
>spent a lot of time on shitty forums where I'd sometimes make posts like "i am sad :(" and if someone would ask why or what's up I'd do the classical "don't wanna talk about it :'/" hurrr
>showing j-pop to my normalfag-friends
>first discovering masturbation and not being discrete about it (didn't know how to properly clear internet history, so it'd show up like "tentacle hentai" when my mom started to search for t...-something)
>wearing a rainbow colored poncho all through middle school (oh god why)

Is it true that attractive girls are asked out a lot less because everyone assumes they are not good enough for them or they think she has a boyfriend?

It happened before.
It's happening again.
What will you do, /r9k/?

I am 90% sure that I am acting on a post hypnotic trigger right now because I have no idea why I want to share this.

>me and my younger sister are 14 and 16 respectively
>go to the quincinera of a family friend's daughter
>they have a hypnotist there
>sister and I volunteer for shits and giggles
>holy shit, I have ruined myself
>trance feels fucking amazing. Better than any weed or X or anything else I've gotten my teenage hands on before
>Best fucking warmth and bliss. Probably smiling the whole time I was up there
>had us be "sexy models on a runway". I kinda knew what he meant, but as soon as I heard the word "sexy" my panties start to get misty
>fast forward a few years
>fully, fully ensconced in the Erotic Mind Control community. EMCSA, MC Garden, Hypnopic collective.
>BUYING videos of just people getting hypnotized, some of it isn't even porn
>Schlick every night to anything and everything hypnosis related.
>Coming home from hanging out late with friends
>Walking down the hallway, see my sister's door open halfway
>Look in. I see the green of the MC Forum. The hypnotized banner girl and everything
>Oh fucking shit
>Later that week sneak in and check her history sometimes. Almost mirror copy of mine
>tfw this unimaginably hot feel that blazes brighter than supernovas
>Drives me insane for months

>I finally snap...

con't...

I would like to help make you cum today anon.

To that end, I would like you to tell me your

1) Name (first only is fine)
2) Past sexual relationships (if any)
3) Greatest fantasy (doesn't necessarily have to be sexual, but that would probably make things easier)

I will do my best to offer a tailored response consisting of the written word, pictures, audio, video, and/or online links.

So come on. I really want to help you feel good.

>Dating a girl
>Cute personality, loyal, shy, and loves me.
>She has terrible spelling. If we talk online or she texts me then almost every word is misspelled.
>Wake up this morning, she's not in bed. See a note taped to the door
>"i b gu 2 stor wi ned mo malk n siseral te fosty frakes 1 wit tigger i b hom sone i luv u"

I feel like I'm dating someone with down syndrome.

>Be 15 years old.
>Masturbating at 150 MPH to some hot monster girl doujin.
>Whenever I'm ready to blow I go over to do it on my towel on the other side of the room.
>All of a sudden fucking random dad bursts out of nowhere to check whether the radiator is working.
>Instantly leap over to the other side of the room to turn off the monitor.
>It's too late.
>He sees me with my cock out.
>Know I'm done for.
>Me: "Shit, fucking shit. Shit fuck!"
>Dad: "Ah it's alright. Nothing to be ashamed of."
>Freeze in shock.
>He leaves the room.
>Think about how fucked up that could of been if he didn't approve of my masturbatory activities.
>Realize how lucky I am to have the Dad I have.
>Look down to see my boner has instantly dissapeared.
What was your first experience like being caught?

Hello /r9k/.
I am here to teach you gung fu.
You can listen to what I say and better yourself through martial arts, or you can ignore everything I tell you. The choice is yours; I will post regardless.

First let me give some back story! I am Egyptian and live in a poorer neighborhood, not too poor, but we definitely have a lot of crime. I'm a pretty tough guy and have lived around these situations forever, my wifey is a little bit more spoiled girl from a rich part of Cairo so she doesn't know the ropes I guess you can put it. Anyway my friends I will begin with the green text! This was a few nights ago.

>Pretty late at night, over midnight, I needed to goto a friends shop to do a favor for him, wifey isn't sleepy and wants to do some adventure with me so we head out
>She is wearing a sweat pants showing off her perfect ass (we joke all the time together that she should become an ass model), looking super sexy
>I am walking behind her and checking out her ass, we are walking through late at night in some bad neighborhoods
>We get to my friends store, I do the favor he needed, txt him back, then we start go back home
>I lose step from her a little bit still walking through the bad neighborhoods
>Two thuggish/criminal types start harassing her, grabbing her ass and breasts, she starts to scream
>They don't know she is with her husband they are thinking she is alone at night because they don't see me yet
>I run towards her quickly and punch one guy in the face and kick him in the ribcage area and kick him in the face repeatedly when hes on the floor, was a young looking guy, criminal type, other guy ran off he was fat older guy, young guy begging me to stop
>I look into my womans eyes, she is crying, kiss her and hold her ask her if she's okay and everything fine
>She seems very upset and scared to me (I can read her face of her emotions)
>She hugs me tight and holds my hands hard
>We continue walking for maybe 20 or 30 more minutes
>Along the way I cheer her up, make her laugh, tell some jokes
>She starts smiling again, the "I love you's" begin and some more kissing and playing
Continuing in the next post...tooo long for one post!

>be last night
>getting drunk with sister (19, i'm 23)
>she starts getting angry/bitter/something
>she laughs and tells me about how she used to bug me all the time when she was little
>mentions how she was tricked into using the master ball on a fucking ditto by me
>we both laugh, probably awkward sexual tension
>then she gets sad and tells me that we should be close like we used to be before
>silence
>she gives me a kiss and looks at me in the eyes, sitting on my lap
>stare at her back, feel erection coming up
>push her off ("y-you should get some rest") and go to bed
>wake up, she tells me she doesn't remember anything even though I never asked if she remembered anything from last night

I'm pretty sure she's lying. What do I do. We've been roommates since she turned 18 and now it's gonna be awkward as shit.

I've fapped and came on her butt before when she was 14 in the bathroom