I would bore you with the story of how I was forever alone once but you don't want to hear it, I am going to say right here that I do not claim to be a miracle worker. I am also going to say that your first step to improvement is to shut the fuck up and listen to me. Drop what you think you know because it doesn't matter to anybody but you, a lot of what you think you know is not true outside of your head. You think too much, you over analyze everything. This is not a bad thing, you are an intelligent individual but appearantly you aren't intelligent enough to know when to stop thinking and just act. I am here for that reason.
stop giving any fucks at all
You care too much, you over think everything. The world is a cruel place and you will be shat on, you will fuck up and you will fall on your face many times. Don't be afraid of failure embrace it. Learn from it and adapt to it. It appears, to me, that by labeling yourself forever alone you have already embraced failure. The problem is that you have embraced it in a negative way, wallowing in it instead of learning from it. The worst you can do is fail. If you ask a girl and she says no, move on it isn't a big deal. If someone shits on you then snipe back because they deserve it, be funny with it as laughs gain friends and interest in you. At worst be caustic because they deserve it. If she ignores your advances then go straight over to her friend because that demonstrates the amount of fucks you give, which should be zero at any given time.

There's more to come.

I have a huge textfile full of various internet-related things; things like youtube links, article links, and, most of all, greentext stories. A year ago or so I attempted to post them but I had shitty wireless internet that failed barely an 1/8th of the way through. So here I am again with a hard connection.

FYI, the reason I'm posting is "in memoriam of /r9k/." Before it was shut down, /r9k/ was basically the real random board of 4chan. We would just sit around and talk about whatever topics we wanted to, but the main draw had to be the legendary greentext threads, many of which are of course archived now. After moot shut us down, most of the community migrated to /adv/. We brought all of their relationshit with us as soon as we got our board back. In the old /r9k/, there was no such thing as 'betas' or 'alphas' or 'normalfags' or 'feels.' Now this board is really one of the shittiest boards, more shameful than /b/ even, because most of you faggots actually are whining and bitching about your 1st world problems, without even a hint of self-awareness or irony.

Old /r9k/, this is to you.

Theres a girl in my bed. My parents are awake downstairs. She is a landwhale, and she won't wake up. drunk night out. really embarrassing don't want my Dad to see her. What do /r9k/ :(

What is it like being black but not a nigger?

Generator: http://trainetiquette.queenslandrail.com.au/index.php?step=2&g=Male

Show me what you got, robots

Drop a beat

brobots, I have a story from yesterday.

>Be former fatasfatass
>Been lifting weights for 3 months now
>Have broad shoulders, big chest, tee shirts are tight around biceps now, have quads that my underwear is now tighter around.
>Be in department store trying on a new pair of sneakers
>Some late 20's-mid 30's guy there trying on shoes too
>His wife and 2 spawn were there as well
>His wife was nagging him relentlessly about the choices in shoes he was making
>The children were running amok completely unsupervised
>I was not in a good mood
>Between this woman being a cunt and these kids running around unchecked I was starting to lose my cool
>At one point her and her two demon spawn walk off to (I guess) find an "appropriate" pair of shoes for him.
>I look over and notice the guy has some sort of bag slung over his shoulder (a diaper bag or something, I guess)
>I look right at him (he's slightly taller than I am, but not an ounce of muscle on him) and just smile at him and actually blurt out "nice man purse bro" (in my mind I actually can't believe I actually verbalized it, but fuck it, I made the commitment now, no turning back from here)

would you rather the ability to fire hot dogs to 14 times the speed of sound (they remain in tact untill they impact something) but you have to shoot them out of your ass hole

or

2000 dollars

Stop having some feels and start having some faps

posting h-games

ITT: we talk about the dirtiest thing we've ever done with a girl with greentext stories.