[5 / 0 / ?]
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This is a review of the movie Gravity.
Goerge Clony and Sandra Bullhorn are a couple of space settlers busy building their space home above some planet in the distant future, when their friend Hueston sees a space satellite mysteriously "exploding" in the distance. They think nothing of it, but then suddenly their space home gets attacked by an invisible space monster called Gravity! (Holy shit, it's fucking invisible!) It chews up their space home and bites a big chunk out of Huestons face, like in Alien! Sandra escapes by doing a huge somersault away from the carnage, and Gravity seems to have left.
Clony gets Sandra when suddenly Clony is caught by the lurking Gravity! Sandra tried to rescue him, but Clony sacrifices himself so that Sandra can get away.
She leaves the rubble of their space home, to find a bigger space home. She finds one, and strips to her underwear. I don't quite know why, but maybe that's custom in outer space.
The place looks pretty messy, but none of the space hobos are in at the moment. Then suddenly Gravity attacks her new home! It breathes fire, but Sandra finds an ice-thrower and bravely fights the space monster! Hooray!
...but Gravity proves too much for her, so she has to hide in a space car that she finds.
She hopes that Gravity won't find her there, but suddenly George Clony pops in for a chat! He tells her to escape to another space home, so she does.
...but Gravity is in hot pursuit, so she does this cool thing where she exits the space car with her ice-thrower, doing flips and shit while fighting Gravity. She manages to escape into her third space home, finds another space car just before Gravity chews up this home as well! It had smelled her pussy and wants to rape her bad! ...and then there's an epic chase scene to the planet where Gravity is hurling burning debris after her, but she makes it to the planet, which we will probably see her explore in Gravity 2, while she's fighting lots of Gravities, like in Aliens.
This movie was an excellent slasher, but we didn't get to see much tits, which was disappointing. Also, the ice-thrower looks pretty weak. I would have used a gun or something, but I guess they tried their best to be futuristic.
3 out of 5 stars
Goerge Clony and Sandra Bullhorn are a couple of space settlers busy building their space home above some planet in the distant future, when their friend Hueston sees a space satellite mysteriously "exploding" in the distance. They think nothing of it, but then suddenly their space home gets attacked by an invisible space monster called Gravity! (Holy shit, it's fucking invisible!) It chews up their space home and bites a big chunk out of Huestons face, like in Alien! Sandra escapes by doing a huge somersault away from the carnage, and Gravity seems to have left.
Clony gets Sandra when suddenly Clony is caught by the lurking Gravity! Sandra tried to rescue him, but Clony sacrifices himself so that Sandra can get away.
She leaves the rubble of their space home, to find a bigger space home. She finds one, and strips to her underwear. I don't quite know why, but maybe that's custom in outer space.
The place looks pretty messy, but none of the space hobos are in at the moment. Then suddenly Gravity attacks her new home! It breathes fire, but Sandra finds an ice-thrower and bravely fights the space monster! Hooray!
...but Gravity proves too much for her, so she has to hide in a space car that she finds.
She hopes that Gravity won't find her there, but suddenly George Clony pops in for a chat! He tells her to escape to another space home, so she does.
...but Gravity is in hot pursuit, so she does this cool thing where she exits the space car with her ice-thrower, doing flips and shit while fighting Gravity. She manages to escape into her third space home, finds another space car just before Gravity chews up this home as well! It had smelled her pussy and wants to rape her bad! ...and then there's an epic chase scene to the planet where Gravity is hurling burning debris after her, but she makes it to the planet, which we will probably see her explore in Gravity 2, while she's fighting lots of Gravities, like in Aliens.
This movie was an excellent slasher, but we didn't get to see much tits, which was disappointing. Also, the ice-thrower looks pretty weak. I would have used a gun or something, but I guess they tried their best to be futuristic.
3 out of 5 stars
