/tg/ - Traditional Games » Thread #3084163

[68 / 0 / ?]

Anonymous Sun 30 Nov 2008 03:30:00 No.3084163 View View Reply Original Report

Quoted By:

You open one of the 1002 boxes on this floor and find...

A small opaque glass vial that reads, "Imperial Space Marine Emergency Suicide Kit: Break if captured." It contains a bit of waxy paper, on which is written READ THE FOLLOWING ALOUD: "HASTUR, HASTUR, HASTUR"

Sir Lanternthief

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO unknown.jpg, 0B, 0x0

Sir Lanternthief Sun 30 Nov 2008 03:33:00 No.3084172 Report

Quoted By: >>3084181 >>3084191 >>3084722

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 30 Nov 2008 03:34:00 No.3084181 Report

Quoted By:

>>3084172
D'AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 30 Nov 2008 03:36:00 No.3084191 Report

Quoted By:

>>3084172
What an adorable little lizard.

Andy Waltfeld !8/moXpMo8Q

Andy Waltfeld !8/moXpMo8Q Sun 30 Nov 2008 03:36:00 No.3084194 Report

Quoted By:

Warehouse /tg/ thread?

- A cardboard box with head and arm holes cut into the sides. Hastily scrawled onto the front face is the name of your system's most overplayed class (PALADIN, SPESS MAHREEN, GUNDAM, etc.).

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 30 Nov 2008 03:37:00 No.3084197 Report

Quoted By: >>3084212

I am not a WH40k player so I do not get it.

Andy Waltfeld !8/moXpMo8Q

Andy Waltfeld !8/moXpMo8Q Sun 30 Nov 2008 03:39:00 No.3084212 Report

Quoted By: >>3084234

>>3084197
I think OP (or whoever put that on Warehouse 23) was going for a 40k/WoD double shot.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 30 Nov 2008 03:39:00 No.3084214 Report

Quoted By:

You open one of the 1002 boxes on this floor and find...

A large briefcase containing the following items: A black collapsible snap-brim hat, mirrored shades, black suit coat, black pants, black dress shirt, black tie, black shoes, black socks, and bright pink underwear with the word "Chuckles" written on it in neon green. 1d4 rounds after opening the briefcase, the players will be physically assaulted by the angriest MIB they have ever seen . . . who is, oddly enough, blushing.

I loled.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 30 Nov 2008 03:42:00 No.3084227 Report

Quoted By: >>3084232

You open one of the larger boxes. Inside is a man typing at a computer. He glares at you until you close the box.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 30 Nov 2008 03:44:00 No.3084232 Report

Quoted By:

>>3084227
I choose not to close it and instead watch him slowly fade and die.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 30 Nov 2008 03:44:00 No.3084234 Report

Quoted By:

>>3084212
OP here, its a 40k and CoC double shot.

You open one of the 1002 boxes on this floor and find...

A litter of cute and cuddly 3-week-old kittens, of assorted colors, in an asbestos-lined box. They are normal cats except for the pyrokinesis. (power 10, skill 6, uncontrollable, untrainable.)

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 30 Nov 2008 03:49:00 No.3084253 Report

Quoted By:

You open one of the 1002 boxes on this floor and find...

A TL8 needler with an extremely weird ammo receptacle. It uses ice-cream as ammo - nothing else will work. Just spoon it in! Wounds caused by this gun drive forensics people nuts....

WTF?

Eponymous Rex !!taqDd9490Ip

Eponymous Rex !!taqDd9490Ip Sun 30 Nov 2008 04:54:00 No.3084593 Report

Quoted By:

And Artefact of Slaanesh?

You open one of the 997 boxes on this floor and find...

A basket, clearly woven underwater, a rat, and a partially used bar of soap. Also included is a cassette tape which, if played, consists entirely of fear-filled blood-curdling screams of pain.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 30 Nov 2008 04:58:00 No.3084606 Report

Quoted By:

where are these from?
i know, i know, newfag.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 30 Nov 2008 04:58:00 No.3084609 Report

Quoted By: >>3084994

You open one of the 1002 boxes on this floor and find...

A Vagina.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 30 Nov 2008 05:01:00 No.3084619 Report

Quoted By: >>3084747 >>3084748

gee it sure is Holder's Series around here...

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 30 Nov 2008 05:08:00 No.3084653 Report

Quoted By:

"A stack of paperback copies of a book on wilderness survival.
The book seems ordinary, but if it is squeezed, it will heat up, providing enough heat
to warm a tent for eight hours before cooling down again. The pages are edible and nutritious,
and if the book is held at the right angle, it acts as a perfect dowsing rod, detecting water. "

I found this to be so fucking awesome

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 30 Nov 2008 05:12:00 No.3084673 Report

Quoted By:

"A Roman helmet with a built-in headset radio."

Fuck yes
I WILL MAKE THIS!

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 30 Nov 2008 05:13:00 No.3084676 Report

Quoted By:

Semi-newfag here, where the fuck are these from?

Hyperion !!LtgOgT0wJFN

Hyperion !!LtgOgT0wJFN Sun 30 Nov 2008 05:15:00 No.3084682 Report

Quoted By: >>3084706

/tg/ - actually /x/

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 30 Nov 2008 05:19:00 No.3084696 Report

Quoted By:

You open one of the 1002 boxes on this floor and find...
Another closed box marked: "WARNING!! Permanently Empty Box!!" Any item or person within 3 feet of this second box when it is opened must make an appropriately difficult roll or be sucked inside and vanish. It continues to suck air into it with a loud roar until closed. . .

Cool.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 30 Nov 2008 05:21:00 No.3084706 Report

Quoted By:

>>3084682
At least /tg/ actually talks about the paranormal

Eponymous Rex !!taqDd9490Ip

Eponymous Rex !!taqDd9490Ip Sun 30 Nov 2008 05:23:00 No.3084715 Report

Quoted By:

You open one of the 997 boxes on this floor and find...

What appears to be a typed manuscript copy of a currently popular roleplaying game about a vast, supernatural conspiracy. Closer examination reveals that whenever the word 'vampire' appears, it has been written in in blue crayon, and something else has been whited out beneath it. A note attached reads, "Here are the changes. The human has been dealt with. The Mousequerade will be preserved."

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 30 Nov 2008 05:25:00 No.3084719 Report

Quoted By:

where is this from?

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 30 Nov 2008 05:25:00 No.3084720 Report

Quoted By:

"The pop-up version of the Necronomicon"

i'm gonna put this in my next campaign

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 30 Nov 2008 05:26:00 No.3084722 Report

Quoted By:

>>3084172
widdle wizard...

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 30 Nov 2008 05:32:00 No.3084747 Report

Quoted By:

>>3084619
newfag detected.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 30 Nov 2008 05:32:00 No.3084748 Report

Quoted By:

>>3084619
No, those fail because they try to be taken seriously. These are actually intended to be random weird shit.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 30 Nov 2008 05:35:00 No.3084765 Report

Quoted By:

You open one of the 998 boxes on this floor and find...

A probability study of the chances of the predictions of all near-future RPGs being true. The highest probability rating is listed for Shadowrun at 78%.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 30 Nov 2008 05:42:00 No.3084794 Report

Quoted By:

A case of frog grenades. Five seconds after pulling the pin,
a grenade will disintegrate in a green flash, hurling frogs in all directions.

Fuck yeah

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 30 Nov 2008 05:46:00 No.3084807 Report

Quoted By:

You open one of the 998 boxes on this floor and find...

Plans for a bullet capable of independent direction changes, using some kind of contragravity drive. The plans are labeled " Magic Bullet," and the designers are listed as "L. H. Oswald" and "J. Garrison".

Eponymous Rex !!taqDd9490Ip

Eponymous Rex !!taqDd9490Ip Sun 30 Nov 2008 05:50:00 No.3084821 Report

Quoted By:

Unrelated but nonetheless amusing.

You open one of the 999 boxes on this floor and find...

A badge that reads "Hi! My name is" and the word "God" written in green ink underneath. The badge either clips or pins onto cloth. While wearing it, the user is perceived as a supreme being by anyone who sees them. The disclaimer on the back of the badge says "Warning: do not reproduce while wearing badge."

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 30 Nov 2008 05:52:00 No.3084827 Report

Quoted By:

You open one of the 1002 boxes on this floor and find....

A barrage of fists slamming into your body while somebody screams ATATATATATATA, followed by a manly voice saying "Hokuto Hyakuretsu Ken! You are already dead." Take a DC 50 fort save. If you pass, you die instantly. If you fail, your body explodes.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 30 Nov 2008 05:52:00 No.3084828 Report

Quoted By: >>3084837

"You open one of the 998 boxes on this floor and find...

A gray plastic disc, easily held in one hand, which is to all appearances normal, except that if turned or spun it will only rotate one way. An effectively infinite force prevents it from rotating the other way."

ALRIGHT PERPETUAL ENERGY!!

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 30 Nov 2008 05:55:00 No.3084837 Report

Quoted By: >>3084845 >>3084848 >>3084850

>>3084828
I'm not entirely sure how you would get energy OUT of this thing.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 30 Nov 2008 05:57:00 No.3084845 Report

Quoted By: >>3084850

>>3084837
also confused, could we get an explanation?

Eponymous Rex !!taqDd9490Ip

Eponymous Rex !!taqDd9490Ip Sun 30 Nov 2008 05:58:00 No.3084847 Report

Quoted By:

You open one of the 999 boxes on this floor and find...

A chainmail bikini. No matter where you aim while attacking the wearer, you will hit the bikini. Thus, all hits will be to groin or vitals, but must first get through the mail's PD and DR (which are normal). This item will only function if worn correctly by a female with at least +1 Appearance.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 30 Nov 2008 05:58:00 No.3084848 Report

Quoted By:

>>3084837
Attach it to a turbine?

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 30 Nov 2008 06:03:00 No.3084850 Report

Quoted By:

>>3084837
>>3084845
Ok, I admit I read it wrong. My bad. Let's try this again.

"You open one of the 998 boxes on this floor and find...

A unlabeled videotape. When played, it appears to be from a medical surgery in 1986, somewhere in Mexico. It looks like a normal heart bypass, until a foot long pinkish worm, approximately 3 inches thick, is removed from the aorta. The worm has three mandibles, arranged in a triangular fashion, and is segmented. The head surgeon then swallows the worm, and removes the patient's heart. During the film, no words can be understood. No linguist will be able to identify the language."

Um...well then...yeah.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 30 Nov 2008 06:15:00 No.3084894 Report

Quoted By:

You open one of the 998 boxes on this floor and find...

A flash of light and a noise so loud that you can't hear it. Then silence. At the bottom of the now-empty crate is a slightly singed piece of paper bearing the words. "Here's the spare in case the first goes wrong."

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 30 Nov 2008 06:15:00 No.3084895 Report

Quoted By:

You open one of the 995 boxes on this floor and find... A pack of 200 sheets of paper. It is lined. Handwritten on the package is "Wishing Paper: if y

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 30 Nov 2008 06:16:00 No.3084897 Report

Quoted By:

You open one of the 1000 boxes on this floor and find...

A gold CD. Embossed on the top are the words: "Caution: Sonic Weaponry Vol 4353f345." Underneath in rather groovy lettering, it says "Spice up your life."

That's going in my next d20 Future game.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 30 Nov 2008 06:23:00 No.3084936 Report

Quoted By:

You open one of the 1000 boxes on this floor and find...

A blank credit card. When used in any electronic scanner, it will work normally - but the bill is charged to the previous card.

Oh god if I had one of those...

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 30 Nov 2008 06:23:00 No.3084937 Report

Quoted By:

You open one of the 998 boxes on this floor and find...

The plastic-wrapped body of a twelve-year-old girl in a blue dress. If the wrapping is removed, she will awaken. Her name is Helen Chambers, and the last thing she remembers is stepping into the corner drugstore in a suburb of Toledo in 1962. She will not be willing to return to the wrapper, and it won't work anyway.

Eponymous Rex !!taqDd9490Ip

Eponymous Rex !!taqDd9490Ip Sun 30 Nov 2008 06:28:00 No.3084964 Report

Quoted By:

You open one of the 1000 boxes on this floor and find...

Crates of chemical grenades: "Broad-Spectrum Antifungal," "Broad Spectrum Herbicide," "Broad Spectrum Insecticide," and "Anti-Grophxer."

Hmmmm...

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 30 Nov 2008 06:29:00 No.3084979 Report

Quoted By: >>3085167 >>3085203 >>3085260 >>3085338

Alright /tg/ heres a challange
Lets make some of our own

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 30 Nov 2008 06:30:00 No.3084981 Report

Quoted By:

You open one of the remaining 995 boxes and find inside:

cups.
individually wrapped in old newspaper.
the paper is from 5 years ago. cows were expensive, a bunch of lizardmen were terrorising a coastal town and the Celts won the football, 12-4.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 30 Nov 2008 06:33:00 No.3084994 Report

Quoted By: >>3085016

>>3084609
boring! i open another box.

Eponymous Rex !!taqDd9490Ip

Eponymous Rex !!taqDd9490Ip Sun 30 Nov 2008 06:38:00 No.3085016 Report

Quoted By:

>>3084994

You find a large hourglass. It emanates a field of primal fear. You find yourself strangely able to shrug it off. Reaching down to pick it up, you notice your hands being little more than skeletal...

Eponymous Rex !!taqDd9490Ip

Eponymous Rex !!taqDd9490Ip Sun 30 Nov 2008 06:53:00 No.3085081 Report

Quoted By: >>3085129

You open one of the 1002 boxes on this floor and find...

A fifty-pound block of pure caffeine.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 30 Nov 2008 06:55:00 No.3085087 Report

Quoted By:

you open one of the 1000 boxes on the floor and find...

a can of shaving cream.

which when shaken up and dispensed will inflate in a foamy mess to fill whatever space it was dispensed into. including the whole warehouse.
try it in a dog.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 30 Nov 2008 07:04:00 No.3085129 Report

Quoted By:

>>3085081
I crush the block into fine powder, then sell it for profit. That, or snort it.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 30 Nov 2008 07:04:00 No.3085130 Report

Quoted By:

You open one of the 1002 boxes on this floor and find...

A butterly, which flits away. Upon examining the box you sww scrawled on the inseide "Hope was here, Pandora is a loser!"

Oh damn...

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 30 Nov 2008 07:04:00 No.3085133 Report

Quoted By:

You open one of the 1002 boxes on this floor and find...

Bugs. Zillions of 'em.

Close the box! Close the box! CLOSE THE BOX!

Eponymous Rex !!taqDd9490Ip

Eponymous Rex !!taqDd9490Ip Sun 30 Nov 2008 07:06:00 No.3085144 Report

Quoted By:

You open one of the 1000 boxes on this floor and find...

A box of over 1,000 "Black Lotus" game cards labeled "For Emergency Use Only."

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 30 Nov 2008 07:10:00 No.3085167 Report

Quoted By:

>>3084979
Alright.

A cup with clear water in it. the water won't spill out, you can drink it and it tastes perfectly normal, but the water won't quench your thirst. Attempting to drink anything else now yields the same result.

Eponymous Rex !!taqDd9490Ip

Eponymous Rex !!taqDd9490Ip Sun 30 Nov 2008 07:16:00 No.3085203 Report

Quoted By:

>>3084979

Opening the box you find a large, ornate looking longsword. Picking it up, it feels like as a feather, and taking a hack at it's crate, find that it's incredibly sharp. It takes a moment for you to notice the droning of a monotone voice reciting complex mathematic equations, scratching at the back of your mind.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 30 Nov 2008 07:19:00 No.3085222 Report

Quoted By:

You open one of the 1000 boxes on this floor and find...

Seven rolls of duct tape, Two blade knives, Two square feet of brown carpet, Six drinking straws, one steel bucket and a pot plant.

Mastermind !TL7Ln/tVTQ

Mastermind !TL7Ln/tVTQ Sun 30 Nov 2008 07:21:00 No.3085237 Report

Quoted By:

You open one of the 1 boxes on this floor and find...

A fallen paladin.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 30 Nov 2008 07:25:00 No.3085260 Report

Quoted By:

>>3084979
You find a large, leather bound tome titled "The Book of names, 1025 - 5025". It is divided into two parts for male and female names. For each name the year of it's greatest popularity is given and the names are sorted alphabetically. For some reason "Candy" was a very popular name for boys in 4109.

Cotton Eyed Joe !s5rR18z5kQ

Cotton Eyed Joe !s5rR18z5kQ Sun 30 Nov 2008 07:29:00 No.3085289 Report

Quoted By:

A set of small (3-5" long) model spaceships with realistic paint jobs and details, all set in a cut-out foam case with a transparent crystal cover. If it is opened, the ships fly out of the case, form up into two "sides," and engage each other in combat until 60% of one "side" are destroyed. At that point, they all maneuver away from each other and go into hyperspace. When they go into hyperspace, anyone within ten feet must roll vs. DX to avoid being sucked in with them.

hm.

Eponymous Rex !!taqDd9490Ip

Eponymous Rex !!taqDd9490Ip Sun 30 Nov 2008 07:41:00 No.3085338 Report

Quoted By: >>3085356

>>3084979
Not TG related, but one I wanted to base on a painting a saw once.

Inside the box is a couple engaged in a dance. It appears that they are doing the Tango, despite their confined space. A man playing a saxophone, his eyes closed pays no mind to you, but the couple looks at you, as if to question the interruption. Their eye sockets are empty.

Eponymous Rex !!taqDd9490Ip

Eponymous Rex !!taqDd9490Ip Sun 30 Nov 2008 07:44:00 No.3085356 Report

Quoted By:

>>3085338
wait. It was an Accordion.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 30 Nov 2008 07:46:00 No.3085363 Report

Quoted By:

You open one of the 996 boxes on this floor and find...

A TV directory from the summer of 1844.

Eponymous Rex !!taqDd9490Ip

Eponymous Rex !!taqDd9490Ip Sun 30 Nov 2008 07:48:00 No.3085372 Report

Quoted By:

You open one of the boxes and find...

A live goat.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 30 Nov 2008 07:48:00 No.3085375 Report

Quoted By:

You open one of the 996 boxes on this floor and find...

A sword. As a swung blade, it acts like a normal saber. However, when thrust, it will impale living tissue harmlessly, leaving no wound when removed. While the sword is embedded, it cannot be used to cut laterally; it can only be removed (or embedded further, until the hilt stops it).

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 30 Nov 2008 07:59:00 No.3085418 Report

Quoted By: >>3085434

You open one of the 996 boxes on this floor and find...

Citadel Miniatures brand acrylic paints.
They cannot be thinned.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 30 Nov 2008 08:03:00 No.3085434 Report

Quoted By:

>>3085418
Oh god please tell me they don't have the screw tops.

ANYTHING BUT THE SCREW TOPS

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