Hello denizens of "/vp/",
I am the genie that was summoned by the OP. I felt like it was only right to say how things turned out.
The OP showed me a great kindness in introducing me to the addiction you call Pokémon. Because of this, I did the best I could with his wish (and what a great wish it was, good job people). What he didn't realize is that I have an upper cap on my power. Usually what happens is that I use my tricky dickery to manipulate a crazy monster wish into something much more manageable and laugh at the poor sap's backfired desire.
But because the OP was a total bro, I did the best I could, ignored his stipulations and bashed his head in with a brick. He's now in a permanent coma, on life support (I made it so his family won't pull the plug) and is having the time of his life in a Pokédream.
I wish you all luck when 21:21 rolls by in Central Time this evening. You didn't think the world would end at midnight, did you? Cheers.