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well, /adv/ ive never needed guidance more than i do right now
long story short theres this girl, was going out with a buddy of mine for a year but they broke up 2 weeks ago. he'd said to me on multiple occasions he was only happy during sex and when she made food for him, he'd left her once before a few months ago. He just couldn't make up his mind on whether he wanted to be with her, had to sort out some personal problems too.
so her and i have had this thing for months. when he wouldnt spend time with her she and i would go out driving alot. so 5 days after he left her i asked her out (my first serious relationship) and we were both very happy for about a week. i came on a little too strong, it was all very new to me, and last wednesday she broke down crying and told me she couldnt be with me because she didnt want my happiness to depend on her and it was putting alot of pressure on her.
now she's "casually" going out with her ex again. ive asked her how serious she is about it and she said "not very"
this is the only girl ive ever been able to connect with intellectually. and i know that he cant connect with her on that level. i just feel like i fucked it up by taking it too fast and sort of expecting her to be the answer to all my problems. but i know we made each other very happy and we could have cultivated something lasting and meaningful if both of us had been a little more patient
in the time since we broke up ive been making an effort to stay positive, i still talk to her, and ive tackled what used to be a serious drinking problem
what i want to know is whether it would be too late at this point to tell her that it wasnt my intention to intimidate her and that im aware that she's leary of getting hurt again, and that i want to start over. we're still best friends, in fact nothings changed except we dont kiss or sleep together or anything.
tl;dr - she got back with her ex, isnt serious about it. is it too late?
long story short theres this girl, was going out with a buddy of mine for a year but they broke up 2 weeks ago. he'd said to me on multiple occasions he was only happy during sex and when she made food for him, he'd left her once before a few months ago. He just couldn't make up his mind on whether he wanted to be with her, had to sort out some personal problems too.
so her and i have had this thing for months. when he wouldnt spend time with her she and i would go out driving alot. so 5 days after he left her i asked her out (my first serious relationship) and we were both very happy for about a week. i came on a little too strong, it was all very new to me, and last wednesday she broke down crying and told me she couldnt be with me because she didnt want my happiness to depend on her and it was putting alot of pressure on her.
now she's "casually" going out with her ex again. ive asked her how serious she is about it and she said "not very"
this is the only girl ive ever been able to connect with intellectually. and i know that he cant connect with her on that level. i just feel like i fucked it up by taking it too fast and sort of expecting her to be the answer to all my problems. but i know we made each other very happy and we could have cultivated something lasting and meaningful if both of us had been a little more patient
in the time since we broke up ive been making an effort to stay positive, i still talk to her, and ive tackled what used to be a serious drinking problem
what i want to know is whether it would be too late at this point to tell her that it wasnt my intention to intimidate her and that im aware that she's leary of getting hurt again, and that i want to start over. we're still best friends, in fact nothings changed except we dont kiss or sleep together or anything.
tl;dr - she got back with her ex, isnt serious about it. is it too late?
