Update 2022-09-17: Added the 50 million missing 2007-2008 /b/ posts! Read about this and other changes here.
Update 2023-06-21: Added 2 million 2004-2014 world4ch/dis.4chan textboard posts.
Update 2023-07-10: Added 3-4 million 2006-2013 posts from the former chanarchive.org.

Welcome to Oldfriend Archive, hosting ~170M text-only 2004-2014 4chan posts (mostly 2006-2008).

!!QhIF9R4YKCG No.12960178 View ViewReplyLast 50OriginalReport
Tonight my ultimate fantasy will be fulfilled.

For months now i've wanted to poop into a girls ass and have her poop the poop back into mine.

This fascination started about 3 months ago when someone linked me to a clip about a little kid and his bro trolling this chick online.

The little kid told the chick that he wanted to poop back and forth. Like so:


Even since then i've wanted this so bad, and tonight ill finally get to do it.

I asked on craiglist to see if anyone was interested, but i got no replies, so i had to find another way.

I've hired a prostitute. Im not proud of it, but my need is great.

281 posts omitted

!!QhIF9R4YK No.12935856 View ViewReplyLast 50OriginalReport
ITT : "forever alone stories"

->Its 1AM.
->Go downstairs.
->Talk to the cat, while warming up some pizza.
->Go to my sisters room(she's 15, I'm 20)
->she's not there.
->Realise she went out.
->Realise I never went out, ever.
->Go back to my room.
->Drink some booze, alone.
->Forever alone.
293 posts omitted


!yqBV9D/lsY No.12957372 View ViewReplyLast 50OriginalReport
Ask a non-stereotypical incest faggot anything.
59 posts omitted

Ask a former PUA anything

!8NRUs2zeAA No.12921051 View ViewReplyLast 50OriginalReport
Time to start one of these again.

- I will not tell which company I worked for
- I will not give away my identity
- I have made money of of this
- I am very cynical of the scene
- I was succesfull with womenz

Ask away, /r9k/
81 posts omitted

!irnZpxWqy. No.12908838 View ViewReplyLast 50OriginalReport

I found the cure for being forever alone!

Currently installing, not long now...

236 posts omitted

bathroom stories

!KDIfpRm7ag No.12901068 View ViewReplyLast 50OriginalReport
>at uni
>sudden crazy urge to shit
>walk to nearest bathroom
>people in it
>exit bathroom
>next bathroom
>people in it
>exit bathroom
>continue trying to find empty bathroom for like 10 minutes
>finally found one
>shitting peacefully
>someone walks in
>quickly put feet in air so that bathroom appears empty
>hear guy pissing
>stop shitting and wait
>guy leaves
>finish shit, mission accomplished
>miss 31 minutes of class on bathroom adventure
164 posts omitted

!MuYETezuIw No.12896731 View ViewReplyLast 50OriginalReport
ITT period stories.
I'll start.

>Be at school, feels good not being in pain
>Stand up at the end of lesson
>Errthing goes blurry, can't focus on people's voices
>run to bathroom
>hand on door
>throw up on bathroom door, so close yet so far
>mfw fucking hormones and their ability to troll
301 posts omitted

!6T/x1MILKY No.12860323 View ViewReplyLast 50OriginalReport
ITT: awesome things.

I'll start: When it's the first cloudy day in a while, and you get caught out in the rain when it's just starting to sprinkle, and you can't help but lift your face up into it and smile. Then you run inside your warm home and curl up with a good book or a movie while it storms outside.
277 posts omitted

!C.Z5K.oPig No.12868084 View ViewReplyLast 50OriginalReport
/r9k/ you ever wanted to say fuck everything, drop everything, sell all your useless shit and just live for the fuck of it ?

maybe keep a just a laptop and visit places
207 posts omitted

!!iW77qN9wP No.12852430 View ViewReplyLast 50OriginalReport
ITT: Stories where you seriously fucked up.
>was around 8-9 years old I think
>going to friend's place
>friend had money from his parents, bought some delicious chips and soda
>gonna game all night, dat SNES
>going up with the elevator
>friend decides to be a smartass and pisses in the corner
>I'm like what the fuck are you doing, man
>he just laughs and tells me I should relax
>I laugh nervously
>get into his place
>say hello to his parents
>say "lol, he pissed in the elevator"
>the very instant I uttered "elevator" I fucking regretted it so fucking hard, why the fuck did I say it?
>his dad gets mad furious, and grabs my friend by the neck into the living room and closes the door behind him
>I can hear a class smashing and my friend screaming loudly
>holy fuck, stand there completely stunned
>my friend comes out after a good 5 minutes, and tells me crying that I have to leave
>o-okay.. I'm.. I'm sorry, man
>just leave
>take stairs and chips
>my face when I was standing in the hallway, listening to the sounds coming from the living room
293 posts omitted