Update 2022-09-17: Added the 50 million missing 2007-2008 /b/ posts! Read about this and other changes here.
Update 2023-06-21: Added 2 million 2004-2014 world4ch/dis.4chan textboard posts.
Update 2023-07-10: Added 3-4 million 2006-2013 posts from the former chanarchive.org.
Welcome to Oldfriend Archive, hosting ~170M text-only 2004-2014 4chan posts (mostly 2006-2008).
Tonight my ultimate fantasy will be fulfilled.
For months now i've wanted to poop into a girls ass and have her poop the poop back into mine. This fascination started about 3 months ago when someone linked me to a clip about a little kid and his bro trolling this chick online. The little kid told the chick that he wanted to poop back and forth. Like so: ))<>(( Even since then i've wanted this so bad, and tonight ill finally get to do it. I asked on craiglist to see if anyone was interested, but i got no replies, so i had to find another way. I've hired a prostitute. Im not proud of it, but my need is great. Cont
Yes they are, actually. confirmed for double virgin
Well played OP, you got me
You wouldn't know. The only tits you've seen were on porn sites.
well if this guy isn't going to do that I might someday.
So I take it you liked the movie You and Me and Everybody We Know? I liked it.
ITT : "forever alone stories"
->Its 1AM. ->Go downstairs. ->Talk to the cat, while warming up some pizza. ->Go to my sisters room(she's 15, I'm 20) ->she's not there. ->Realise she went out. ->Realise I never went out, ever. ->Go back to my room. ->Drink some booze, alone. ->Forever alone.
When girls say stuff to me like, "these pants make me look so fat," or "I look so ugly today".
I just say, "yup" or "oh..."
Them bitches ain't gettin' no confidence boosters from me.
looks like you got the post ID numbers backwards, lol newfag
But, you speak the truth, therefore, allisforgiven.jpg
for some reason, this thread made me feel less alone
I have news for you, bro--I interned as a programmer in an office for a couple of summers, and office politics/social interactions are the worst. I think the dream of being a recluse programmer is unrealistic if you're in a company.
being picked last doesnt necessarily mean you shuldnt have friends. i was always picked first and still dont
Ask a non-stereotypical incest faggot anything.
a pitty you dont want to post pics ( atleast body, not even naked, would really like to see that)
also add me on msn: firstname.lastname@example.org
Leaving thread. All the best to you, OP.
You sound depressed as shit OP.
Your relationship with your sister sounds really cute though. I think you're actually kind of lucky.
How can we be sure if you're not a man?
Would it be possible to timestamp anything to prove to us you're not a creepy neckbeard involving us in a fantasy? No face is needed just a shoulder or some shit will do.
Time to start one of these again.
- I will not tell which company I worked for - I will not give away my identity - I have made money of of this - I am very cynical of the scene - I was succesfull with womenz Ask away, /r9k/
That's a good way of putting it. However, nowadays you can't really find any of the good concept anymore because they're mixed in with the bullcrap.
There is however, ONE method I can recommend somewhat. Don't buy it, just torrent it. No PUA shit is worth money. It's called 60 Years of Challenge. It's a good ebook, but again, take it lightly.
inb4loltryingtosellusshit. Pirate it!
No more questions, so I'll be leaving. I hope I have thought you not to take the PUA route and just start talking. Thank you /r9k/ you have delivered me many great topics in the past and I wanted to contribute a bit of help I could.
Good evening to you all, my friends!
Can you give a link for that? I can't find a decent one.
serach on PUAHATE (google, don't wanna be blocked) it's a forum that's against the scene. They should have a few links up somewhere.
Think OP left, but wanted to add that the camps look like a joke. One guy had a classmate from the camp record one of his attempts on his phone, and the "instructor" came up to the girl, blew the student out, and started working on the girl he had been talking to.
It's the perfect crime, though. Get a bunch of socially awkward guys together. Go to a bar/club with them. Have them talk to women and fail, then go up to her after and make fun of them to try to get laid yourself. And they charge you for it! Whole thing is really sad
I found the cure for being forever alone!
Currently installing, not long now...
6GB is a bit much for a vortual girl
OMG ITS MOOT
And then, Who said /r9k/ doesn't believe in love?
Didn't sacrifice your waifu? You don't know shit about video games.
erm download finished. how do i english?
Did you download the version with the patched installer? If not you want to use the patched installer from the forum link in the OP.
You quite probably also need to change your language settings to allow moon runes.
>at uni >sudden crazy urge to shit >walk to nearest bathroom >people in it >exit bathroom >next bathroom >people in it >exit bathroom >continue trying to find empty bathroom for like 10 minutes >finally found one >shitting peacefully >someone walks in >quickly put feet in air so that bathroom appears empty >hear guy pissing >stop shitting and wait >guy leaves >shit >finish shit, mission accomplished >miss 31 minutes of class on bathroom adventure
> At morning swim practice > decide to try eating breakfast before my swim > first 20 minutes feel fine > we start doing heavy core work > my stomach grumbles > feel the pressure in my bowels increasing > ohgodimustreleasethebeast > sprint 50 meters to the other side faster than i have ever swam before > run into bathroom, coach yells"Hey! where are you going?!" >I ignore him, i'm on a mission. >Get in handicap bathroom stall for man-shitting purposes > Push. I feel my butt stretching with every inch > It comes out > I look on toilet seat and it turns out i missed >clean it up and go home
>12 or 13, with family on trip to the city >Eat lunch at the Cracker Barrel; chicken fried steak - om nom nom >Later, go shopping for school clothes >Walking around store, feeling good >Suddenly, diarrhea! >Head to bathroom, several people in there - FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUU >Screw it, second stall is unoccupied >Noisily evacuate my bowels, stench is pretty bad >Hear several people come in and out >Wait until I'm sure bathroom is empty before leaving >Find family, Dad makes a smartass comment like "Everything come out all right?" >Mumble something like "Must've been the gravy." I haven't eaten at any Cracker Barrel since.
Not much of a story, but thought I'd share:
>Suffer from regular constipation from a bad diet >At work >Have to take monstrous shit >Run to bathroom >Most painful shit ever, felt like was getting fisted by a heavyweight boxer >Look in bowl >Glorious giant turd rising out of the water >Name it Ploptimus Prime >Take a picture on phone >Show it to all my friends and family
>leaving campus >head in to bathroom for piss before hour-long transit ride back home >no one at any urinal, perfect >take my pic >dude comes in with his little girl >girl sees my dick >stares for 10 seconds, silent >then "DADDY HE'S PEEPEEING ON THE WALL" >whole building hears that i have presented myself to a 4 year-old >now freaking out everytime i see a black van following me
i took a huge shit once, ended up clogging the fucking toilet. Had to put bags on my hand and break up the shit so it would flush.
I was pissed.
ITT period stories.
I'll start. >Be at school, feels good not being in pain >Stand up at the end of lesson >Errthing goes blurry, can't focus on people's voices >ohgod.jpg >run to bathroom >hand on door >throw up on bathroom door, so close yet so far >mfw fucking hormones and their ability to troll
haha me 2 man.. YOU ALL DESERVE IT FOR BEING COLDASS BITCHES, just so you know
read the entire thread, many lols were had
good show anons
this sort of turns me on i like cute innocent 13 year old girls
>>12906788 >Spreads rumors I am a werewolf.
Haha oh wow.
Think this thread's good enough to be archived? A lot of funny stories.
>Just recently started having sex with boyfriend. >Fuck like rabbits. >At his house. >Get period, very fucking horny. >Start messing around, teasing him. >He decides he wants his red wings. >Put towel under us while we fuck. >BLOOD ERRYWHERE.
ITT: awesome things.
I'll start: When it's the first cloudy day in a while, and you get caught out in the rain when it's just starting to sprinkle, and you can't help but lift your face up into it and smile. Then you run inside your warm home and curl up with a good book or a movie while it storms outside.
Meeting up with my friend and its just me and him and we drive all around town listening to music, talking about everything (: never having a destination, just enjoying each others company
I just did exactly this. And it got pretty dark. Fuck yeah.
bump of happiness
The moment when you realise the headache is completely gone.
>When I get a new pair of headphones and suddenly my music library is totally fresh. >When you've prepared yourself hatch a bunch of pokemon eggs and that first one is perfect. >Finally taking off socks and shoes after a long, hot day. >Getting back into a band you grew tired of. >When you realize you're actually doing something with your life. >Making a kid really happy. I was hanging out with a much younger cousin of mine back in the summer and we were playing vidya the whole time. He was super bummed out when I had to leave. I gave him a couple of my older games that I didn't need and his face was absolutely shocked. >feelsgoodman.jpg
/r9k/ you ever wanted to say fuck everything, drop everything, sell all your useless shit and just live for the fuck of it ?
maybe keep a just a laptop and visit places
Well that was surprisingly uplifting.
Thanks for sharing that, man.
WHY WAS SUDDENLY THAT GUY FROM GRATEFUL DEAD ALL QUIT AND WOULDN'T TELL YOU ANYTHING?
WHAT HAPPENED? I DON'T UNDERSTAND. WHY? WHY?
can anyone seriously answer me this? i really enjoyed the story but that part in the middle really made me not understand anything.
best thread on r9k...
I agree with you.
ITT: Stories where you seriously fucked up.
>was around 8-9 years old I think >going to friend's place >friend had money from his parents, bought some delicious chips and soda >gonna game all night, dat SNES >going up with the elevator >friend decides to be a smartass and pisses in the corner >I'm like what the fuck are you doing, man >he just laughs and tells me I should relax >I laugh nervously >get into his place >say hello to his parents >say "lol, he pissed in the elevator" >the very instant I uttered "elevator" I fucking regretted it so fucking hard, why the fuck did I say it? >his dad gets mad furious, and grabs my friend by the neck into the living room and closes the door behind him >I can hear a class smashing and my friend screaming loudly >holy fuck, stand there completely stunned >my friend comes out after a good 5 minutes, and tells me crying that I have to leave >o-okay.. I'm.. I'm sorry, man >just leave >take stairs and chips >my face when I was standing in the hallway, listening to the sounds coming from the living room
>300th post /r9k/, I am proud now archive
It is archived, fuckhead. It has been for some time. I triggered it :]
congrats robot, once in your life you achieved something, now you can fap to this memory for at least 5 years.
If you're the motherfucker who was beggin for this to be archived throughout the whole thread, enjoy being foreveralone. If you're not, then I was just doin my fair share of community service to help this poor motherfucker's ass and you can suck a fuckin pussy.
WAW was released in 2008.
Which makes you 14 at oldest you fucking little cunt. wait