Update 2022-09-17: Added the 50 million missing 2007-2008 /b/ posts! Read about this and other changes here.
Update 2023-06-21: Added 2 million 2004-2014 world4ch/dis.4chan textboard posts.
Update 2023-07-10: Added 3-4 million 2006-2013 posts from the former chanarchive.org.

Welcome to Oldfriend Archive, hosting ~170M text-only 2004-2014 4chan posts (mostly 2006-2008).

No.7471172 View ViewReplyLast 50OriginalReport
>on computer, sitting in chair
>my ass starts to hurt with sharp pain, think it's coming from my anus
>not particularly worried yet
>feel around for the pain
realize there's a small hole just below the start of my buttcrack
feels gooey and wet
>look at hand
>it's covered in blood and puss
>so begins my panic
>get toilet paper to clean off surrounding area
>as I walk to the bathroom with my pants and underwear down, more solid blood and puss explode in one quick burst, out of my new hole
>the most excruciatingly painful thing I've ever felt; it tops the time I got my entire upper arm scorched in flames
>blood and puss lie on the floor; it's literally the worst thing I have ever smelled, start to gag smelling it from a from a room over
>in my bathroom now, using toilet paper to clean off or out blood
>more gooey mixtures and what I would guess is the inner-lining of my intestines (not sure at all why that was there).
>fucking start jumping up and down, shaking the entire house because this is the most scared I've ever been
>pain has continued and although it has varied in short amounts of time, it had not decreased over all; if anything, it had gotten even worse
>start to cry in a jittering, flicky fashion, also moaning because I'm so distressed
>can feel vibrations in my body telling me my parents are wondering "what the fuck is going on?"
>blood is spattered on the wall, along with shit and yellow goo, in various places
>smell is fucking unbearable
>run out of the bathroom back to my room, still panicking and shaking the house
>try to get a visual reference of whats going on with this hole I feel just above my buttcrack
>try to look at it through my mirror; have to contort my body painfully to actually my ass
>just barely see it
345 posts omitted

Embarrassment stories

No.7424191 View ViewReplyLast 50OriginalReport
Embarrassment stories

>be 15
>fappin to glorious manga comics one night
>go to bed
>wake up
>mother calls me downstairs
>she's on the computer
>she brought up my history
>Jpg img on screen of a guy with enormous cock bulging the woman's stomach
>she looks pregnant with guys cock inside her
>cum leaking out of her
>begging him to stop
>anon I am disgusted

Super happy she didn't find the Futa comics
428 posts omitted

No.7357368 View ViewReplyLast 50OriginalReport
I'm looking for a picture that tells a story. The older the better.

Can you help me?
382 posts omitted

No.7294075 View ViewReplyLast 50OriginalReport
ITT Shit we cringe at.

>be 14
>looking around on the internet
>see a really hot picture of emma watson
>print it out
>stick it under bed, didn't jerk off to it or anything at all
>be 19
>check the old bunkbed I slept on, lift up bed
>it's gone

tl;dr my mother found an arousing picture of emma watson under my bed
495 posts omitted

No.7145074 View ViewReplyLast 50OriginalReport
Stuff you believed as a kid thread

I believed that the past actually was black and white
386 posts omitted

No.7035398 View ViewReplyLast 50OriginalReport
Housemate/roommate stories?

I'll start.

>be beta skinny pale guy
>roommate is gorgeous blonde qt
>we're sitting on the sofa one day
>she asks for a foot massage
>have foot fetish, have to hide boner pretend I'm enjoying it less than I am
>sweating like fuck

What are your housemates like robots?
What do they do to annoy you?
What do you like about them?

pic semi related, found on google.
495 posts omitted

I think I accidently started dating a prostitute Part2

No.6957786 View ViewReplyLast 50OriginalReport
So last week I posted that I thought I had accidentally started dating a prostitute. I guess I am, now, because last night we went out for dinner.

>tfw first ever date is with a prostitute
>Get to her house and she gives directions to some restaurant I have never even heard of
>Get there
>It looks like the most upperclass posh building I've ever seen
>Get in
>Get given a nice little table in the corner
>Menus come
>No prices on them
>"Uhh I'm not sure I can afford this place..."
>She says it's fine and that she's paying anyway
>Order the Kobe beef because I heard that was supposed to be nice
>She gets some pasta thing and some drinks
>Time to pay
>"That'll be $385 thank you"
>My entire fucking face when
>We drive back to her place
>I collapse on the recliner because so tired
>She lays ontop of me
>mfw we fell asleep cuddling together on the recliner
>She gets a call at about 3AM
>A client
>She asks if I can drive her to and back and that she'll pay me for it
>She gives me 10% of what she made for doing so
>I've done this a few times now and have already made more money that way in one week than I do at my 9-5
>Go back to hers and do copious amounts of drugs

I really don't know what's happening with this 'relationship' but I don't feel bad about it?

Also for those of you that said I should get tested, I did, and I came back all clean.
67 posts omitted

No.6823355 View ViewReplyLast 50OriginalReport
I'm going to be dumping some information, advice, and stories about life in American prisons, both from the prisoner and guard perspectives. Also, if you have any questions about prison I'll answer them to the best of my ability.

>was a corrections officer (prison guard) for several years
>dealt with suicides, hunger strikes, death row inmates, mentally insane prisoners, etc
>worked in the fields, death row, medium security dorms, and a vocational program
220 posts omitted

No.6423158 View ViewReplyLast 50OriginalReport
ITT: beta/cringe stories & images
485 posts omitted

No.6136274 View ViewReplyLast 50OriginalReport
Sergey Prokudin-Gorsky was a Russian photographer, he took and developed some of the first color photographs. Aside from this technical achievement, they show our world today what the Russian Empire was like at the turn of the century--rural, barely industrialized, filled with many different peoples, cities and cultures that can't be found in much of Europe or Asia anymore.

It is interesting to see a country like Russia before World War I, socialism, World War II, electrification, and global capitalism. I thought you robots would enjoy this.
110 posts omitted