>at university
>get hungry
>go to the restroom to eat a snickers and drink a soda
>go inside a cabin and lock it
>open the can of soda
>unwrap the snickers
>put the snickers into my mouth partially, ready to eat
>someone enters the restroom
>he enters the cabin next to mine
>can't move for fear the guy might hear me and figure out what I'm doing
>have to sit motionlessly there with a snickers stuck in my mouth and an open can of soda on my lap
>the guy takes a massive dump
>takes him about 5 minutes
>the smell, the smell everywhere
>the snickers has begun to melt, chocolatey goo streaming down my mouth
>a large insect flies into my cabin
>shudder
>the can of soda I had sitting on my lap overturns
>pants wet from the soda, sweater soiled with melted chocolate
>a group of about 3 people enters the toilet
>have to sit there for about 15 more hours (for the rest of the world these were actually minutes though)

I know it's summer now, but how was -your- academic year, /r9k/?

>have a 9/10 hot gf
>been hanging out for a while
>turns out she has a loser beta guy friend who dotes on her all the time
>bring it up to her
>she laughs "oh yeah, he's so nice he told me he liked me but i just use him for rides and stuff"
>i laugh with her
>now anytime he is around the both of us ill call her bitch or spank her ass
>everytime i do i can tell he wants to spring up and defender her
>everytime i do she giggles and will kiss me or call me sexy
>everytime she does its like a knife to his heart
>he still hangs out with her because he is desperate

any other robots in situations like this?

ITT: creeper things you have done

>ugly and lesbian so i disgust society
>rarely get any action and lonely
>shit ton of medical problems
>my daily meds make me wake up early from anesthesia which makes you feel all disoriented and drunk
>cant move at all and just looking around
>see hot nurse with the most fantastic rack ever known to mine eyes
>formulate plan
>i motion her over as i got a little strength in my arms now
>ask for some water for the water test
> cough it up since its only been about 5 mins
>she's on my right side and I put the water bottle in my left hand stretched my arm away from my body
>"sorry nurse, no strength in my arms. ya gotta get it yourself."
>instead of walking around the bed she actually reached for it over my bed
>strained herself and her tits squished against my face
>"its been a great day nurse, free water and a pair of melons too"
>looks at me disgusted
>I dont give a fuck since im disoriented
>get home
>fuck why id i say that

Alright robots, I will share my milf story with you. First of all, I am not American, but living in New York City, so I have broken English sorry about that.
About 3 month ago, I met this 37 year old milf on okcupid. I am originally 21 and don't work. I lied her told I am 24 and I work in some place. After exchanging numbers, she called me. I have very strong accent so I thought she was gonna find my talking very disturbing and never talk again. I was wrong she told me we could meet someday next week. At the first meeting, we met at a diner in Queens at talked about 2-3 hours and realized we were compatible. At the end of the meeting, I didn't get kiss and we both went our own way. We texted each other and decided to meet in Queens Center Mall for the second time. We walked around and after spending around 3 hours. I told her I want to kiss her. She told me it is not the right place. We went to a Chinese take out restaurant and order something. While we were waiting our order, she came close to me and told me "I think it is right place since there arent so many people" We kissed about 10 minutes. After that she invited me her home which is 2-3 blocks away.

>filling out job application yesterday
>"Other names or nickname you go by"
>happened to see Escape from LA on the tele while eating breakfast earlier that morning and put down Snake
>phone rings today
>"Hello, is this Snake?"
>"YesssSsssSssssssss..."
>end up acting like this awkward freak with a speech impediment entire conversation
>lady actually wants me to come in for an interview

Oh God. Am I supposed to keep the act up or do I just awkwardly drop it and act completely normal as soon as I see her or would that come across as dishonest or oh god why is this happening

Can we have another housewife/homemaker thread?

How many of you femanons would consider doing this? Keep in mind, you could work part-time as a freelance writer or something, or volunteer for charities, keep a hobby, etc.

I think a lot of people of our generation are starting to realize that the traditional family dynamic worked pretty damn well, and therefore suspect it will make a comeback as labor-saving technology advances to the point where a man can support a family on one salary again, just as child labor went away once technology allowed parents to send their kids to school.

sup /r9k/,

I'm homeless, ask me anything!

inb4 'how are you posting?' I'm currently using some local college's unsecured wi-fi. I'll be sleeping nearby, so I've got plenty of time to answer questions.

>that feel when working in retail makes you hate people

Maybe we can get some greentext stories here.

>Standing at the front of the store
>Customer walks in
>We make eye contact so I say hello
>She immediately demands to speak with the manager
>Tell her ok, ask what it's regarding
>"NO I WILL NOT TELL YOU I NEED TO SPEAK WITH SOMEONE WHO CAN ACTUALLY HELP ME"
>mfw

>yfw you all don't sage Craig threads

you are either apart of the problem or apart of the solution, /r9k/

Hey /r9k/, I need help. I'm trapped in in a small room with no clothes and nothing to cover myself with. There are people outside the door and I'll have to go past them to get to the room with my clothes. There's a small 4 year old girl with them too so I CANNOT be see naked unless I want to be raped in prison.

I really need to piss so I can't stay here what the fuck do i do?