the unthinkable just happened

I was watching movie on my PC when suddenly I felt urge to let one go, so I just lifted my butt a little and thought I'd let it rip

unfortunately instead of the comfortable regular warm fart, shit hit the fan... or rather first my boxers and then the chair

so I shat myself, nothing new here my diet is horrible and often after long night of drinking I wake up still drunk and having soiled myself; that's not the problem, but the chair

how do I get shit stains off a regular PC arm chair? any help would be appreciated, not just shit also cum stains; might aswell get rid of those in the same go