Anonymous
Quoted By:
Also, last thread
>>7609433 Anonymous
you will never have a gf do pic related>sad_frog.jpg
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7613540 >you will never have a story board >you will never have another r9k >you will never have mods or janitors that deal with 9/10 threads being trolls >sadfrogwithguntohead.jpg Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7613540 I want this
I'm going to secretly hint to my girlfriend that I want her to do this for me for one entire weekend...
Anonymous
CHING-CHONG!
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7613586 I just want more blogs to follow
Anonymous
>Be a male sub >Single for the entirety of my teen years to now >Refusing to accept that dominant or yandere women are rare
Anonymous
>>7613472 Can you give the full address of the blindgf blog? I dont really know where to find it...
Anonymous
>>7613609 just add it to a blawg spawt url
Anonymous
>>7613601 Go for the quiet ones, dude
That's how you'll find the freaky girls
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7613609 >>7613624 Also, go to the old thread.
both blogs are listed there
Anonymous
>>7613472 The best story I have is of my ex, and it isn't exactly great, but here goes nothing.
>be 16 and lonely >friend introduces me to his girlfriend's best friend >she just got out of a bad relationship and won't stop talking about him >RED FLAG >I ignore it being desperate >we hang out once >it goes well, we kiss, blah blah blah >hang out again only this time a phone call interrupts us as we're together >it's one of her exes who also happens to be a major stalker >RED FLAG >continue to ignore/rationalize it >she freaks out and bursts into tears about it >5 minutes later she's fine and we make out >afterward I'm thinking "WTF mate?!" >a week later my buddy talks to the stalker who happens to be his cousin and tells him to back off >he does and this is where she shows her crazy side >she flips out on me because he won't talk to her any more >I try to point out how he had her in tears yesterday and now she's acting like they were best friends >she keeps going between love and hate with him and her other ex >her friend starts freaking on her and both claim that the other is cheating >both of them start this giant drama war with eachother >pic related Not that crazy, but the bitch kept going on about her exes all the fucking time. I gave up after two weeks and haven't had a girlfriend since. I wish I had a really clingy stalker girlfriend.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7613673 >read burst into tears >I burst into treats Anonymous
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7613673 >burst into tears >not bursting into treats ISHYGDDT
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7613673 Wait a minute...I fucked up the timeline here. Correction is in brackets. Also this is a bump.
>I try to point out how he had her in tears [a week ago] and now she's acting like they were best friends Anonymous
Quoted By:
Blind girlfriend looks sweet :3
Anonymous
Quoted By:
Please keep this alive while I'm at work, I want Ching-Chong stories.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
Here's a story that I heard back when I was at JobCorps:>guy talking about the relationship his friend had >said friend ended up cheating on his then-girl >break up ensues >slowly start to contact each other again, set up plans for sex >she ties him to the bed >fuck yeah boner >she pulls out a box cutter >slices his dick straight down the middle >cauterizes it with cigarette >does it again and leaves >storyteller said that he called bullshit on his friend when first hearing the story >said friend pulled down his pants and showed him the scar to prove he wasn't making shit up >our faces when
Anonymous
Did kitten- dude ever break up with her?
Kitten !I.iINKYgus
I have more stories. Post here or in blog?
Anonymous
This thread still exists?
Kitten !I.iINKYgus
>>7613877 Nope, we're still together
Anonymous
>>7613907 Half of this is made up
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7613907 Are you daft? Some of it is just really clingy girls which some guys like. The rest of it largely consists of relationships that ended because of the crazy.
Kitten !I.iINKYgus
Quoted By:
>>7613915 I'm not sure about which half, but all my stories are truth.
Anonymous
>>7613914 Do you ever plan on doing so? I'd be so scared to hurt a girl like this, for the sake of both of us.
Kitten !I.iINKYgus
>>7613943 Nope. I plan on living a happy life together, raising kids, and growing old with her.
Anonymous
Anonymous
>>7613952 That's sweet. I wish you the best good sir. I need to find myself a clingy girl like that.
Kitten !I.iINKYgus
Quoted By:
>>7613996 Seriously, the quiet girls. It's a steriotype but it's a pretty true one.
Kitten !I.iINKYgus
>>7613988 Alright
>Going lazertagging (yep) >A group of girls huddled in the corner giggling at me and shooting me >She sees this >GIRLS, GIVING HIM MORE ATTENTION AT THE MOMENT THAN I AM?! >Rage mode activated >Shoots them, pistol whips the one who kept giggling at me >Continues lazer tag rampage >Gets top score in our game and wins the game Not one of the more interesting stories, but it was fun watching it happen
Anonymous
Kitten !I.iINKYgus
Quoted By:
>>7614139 I was laughing my ass off
>>7614152 It's truth. She's hit someone with her gun before and almost got kicked out. She goes to the lazer tag place all the time, so even without the rage she's good.
Anonymous
Anonymous
>>7614254 I'd give another story, but I already posted it.
Anonymous
>>7614268 Might as well, since we're trying to keep it alive for ching-chong and others
Anonymous
>>7614277 No I mean I already posted it in this thread and I have no others because I haven't had a girlfriend since...
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7614302 Oooh, well, I guess I could post even more.
I feel bad since I've filled up like, half of the past two threads.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7614268 What movie is that from.
Anonymous
>meet an amazing girl in college >she's incredibly, hot, smart, mature, basically way out of my league >she comes onto me crazy hard anyway out of nowhere >I don't question my good luck and we start dating >she is fucking amazing in bed and has an even bigger sex drive than me >best nine months ever >one day I joke that I don't know what she sees in me >she laughs and casually says "I thought it was pretty obvious, you're like a perfect cross between Jake and Adam. You've got Jake's cute face and Adam's big dick!" >Jake and Adam are her younger and older brothers >"What." >"Well, I can't fool around with them while I'm stuck way out here away from home. Don't worry stud, you're almost as good as both of them combined!" >"WHAT."
Anonymous
>>7614354 Holy christ anon, you scored a 10/10. except she probably had molested her brothers for years before engaging in full sex, either that or was molested pretty bad.
Anonymous
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7614354 All of the details. NOW.
Retspihied !!xmaY7K8XcfF
Anonymous
Anonymous
shit guys. I gotta in. keep this shit going for me. if. I do miss it I'll probably be back later for a link to ching-chongs blog.
Anonymous
Anonymous
Anonymous
>>7614354 I always have this fear about women who have really close relationships with their family. Last girl I was with said that she never locked the door on her bathroom and that her brother would just walk in sometimes while she was hopping in the shower. She still never locked the door. I bet he's seen her naked more than I ever did...
Anonymous
>>7614354 What the fuck man. She probably lets them cum inside her.
Anonymous
>>7614473 Well, that sucks
Anonymous
>>7614383 I thought the same thing. But her brothers are only ~2 years apart from her on either side, and according to her it was all consensual and drama-free.
I'm still in touch with her now and then, and last I heard the three of them were renting a house together, still doing their thing. Weird as hell, but fuck, I'm a miserable forever alone and it sounds like they are doing pretty okay, so who am I to judge? Maybe if I was as kinky as she thought I was, I'd be living out the real life version of some bizarre incest manga right now.
>>7614500 I'm almost certain she does. She was on birth control and fucking loved having me come in her.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7614590 that sounds... I don't even know wtf that is
Anonymous
Anonymous
>>7614590 How on Earth did she start screwing her brothers? Did she realize what she's doing is fucked up by society's standards? In hindsight, what signs were there to tip you off to what was going on? Write us a novel Anon.
Anonymous
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7614552 Yeah, the thing is he's moved away since then and as far as I know that girl is still single and possibly into me so I'll take the chance.
>>7614635 Not much I could do. He was at least twice my size and built a lot beefier than I was. Not to mention him having me stuck with the seat.
Also another semi-related story, since I'm not seeing many related. I have one more after this one if anybody wants me to post it.
>senior year in high school >waiting in the school parking lot for traffic to die down >not early enough for the student drivers to all be gone but late enough for the buses to be >crazy dude we know walks up and asks for a ride >he's obviously stoned as fuck >earlier that day the guy who I catch a ride with found fuzzy handcuffs on the school track >crazy dude in the back seat finds them and handcuffs me to the seat >makes them tight enough to cut off blood flow >I'm in extreme pain already and neither of us can do a thing to stop the guy because he's built like he's on roids >he starts biting my neck >draws blood and starts laughing about it >it's like this the whole way getting him home Anonymous
>>7614646 There weren't any
He just off-handedly mentions one day "I don't know why you like me" and she goes off how he reminds her of the brothers she has sex with repeatedly.
Anonymous
>>7614693 >>7614354 He said; "In retrospect, it was pretty obvious, the whole situation just flew over my oblivious head..."
I want to know how it could have been obvious.
Anonymous
Anonymous
>>7614646 I obviously wasn't too interested in hearing the intimate details of how it all went down between them, but from what she described it sounded like it started as some experimental puberty-driven thing that just took off and kept getting more serious.
She knew it was fucked up by society's standards, but she was also a very politically radical modern-hippy type, so I'm sure she didn't give a shit. Once we got into it, she actually got mad at ME for being upset, called me a "prude" several times and said that she thought I was more "open-minded" than that.
>>7614702 Well, I knew she was very kinky and sexually liberated, for one. I thought I was too! So it never raised any red flags for me when she told me that she'd had open relationships before... cause I didn't realize she thought ours was open too. In general, it turned out that she thought things between us were much more casual than I thought they were. And in retrospect, she was always VERY close with her brothers, she talked about them all the time, constantly chatted with both of them on the phone and over AIM, etc. Apparently she'd repeatedly sexting with them right in front of me, and took my obliviousness to mean that I was cool with it.
tl;dr; miscommunications and vastly different baseline expectations, everywhere
Anonymous
>>7614838 This is how "ALL WOMEN ARE BITCHES AND WHORES!" happens. I mean you don't have that reaction from the looks of it, but this is one of the ways it happens. A girl doesn't tell a guy something and assumes he's okay with something that he probably isn't. In this case it was an open relationship involving incest with her brothers. As much as people on here joke about that, it's just nasty.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7614865 this, what the fuck
this is why guys get messed up
Anonymous
Mr. Ching Chong is probably tied up right now, being tortured by Ms. Ching Cong.
Anonymous
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>>7614958 I hope she provides pics
Anonymous
>>7614865 But the thing is, I don't think this was a bitches and whores moment. Like I said, this girl was intelligent and mature. She wasn't a bitch, and we actually stayed friends after we broke up (after I cooled down from the sheer WTF). She and I were just... operating with completely different expectations, and shitty at communication. It WAS a very physical relationship, and in retrospect I can totally see why she thought it was more casual that I did.
She explained her perspective to me much later: she thought that she had lucked out finding a dude who was cool with her weird-ass fetish as long as she didn't flaunt it too much. From my side, I thought I had landed a girl way the fuck out of my league, and let my fear of fucking up my good fortune blind me into thinking it was more than it was.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7614983 I guess that makes sense.
She still seems messed up
Anonymous
Anonymous
>>7614983 That makes sense, but like I said for you that wasn't a bitches and whores moment, but that's an example of what could be one.
Also I'm going to post my last story.
>10th grade >meet this crazy girl >jokingly flirt back and forth all the time >turns out she's a bit of a sadist/masochist >we're both also very ticklish >joke with her about it >she regularly bites and scratches me out of nowhere >people ask about the marks >pokerface.jpg >end up occasionally sexting her for out of nowhere a few times >still have scars all over my hands and arms And with this I realize I have some weird ass friends.
Anonymous
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7615123 She actually is pretty hot. I'd say a 7-9 depending on personal taste. I put her at a 9. She also made me realize I kind of like being dominated at times.
Ching-Chong !!g0BzeViXthF
Sup guys. Found the thread.
Anonymous
>>7615240 WELCOME BACK
Got any more stories?
Anonymous
>>7615240 Just found these threads, they are looking pretty cool.
A little behind so, what's your situation and why is everyone following you?
Same questions for that Kitten person.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7615240 You've been missed!
Welcome back!
Anonymous
>In college bio + lab course >Sit at a table with a pretty and timid/shy girl >It's just me, her, two other dudes, and another girl >During lab, she doesn't understand some anatomy procedure, other people blow her off >Feel bad for her and explain process through and through >She says something about my eyes >Awkwardly thank her, go back to explaining >After lab, she asks me to help her move stuff to her car >Come up to one of those vans with no back windows >She gets in behind me as I'm putting down a bag and kind of stumbles into me, I fall down onto bag >Before I know what happens, back door is closed, she's half naked and on top of me >Make out, have really sweaty sex as the van is fucking hot >Afterwards she pushes me out, thanks me, then drives off >When I get home, I notice a huge chunk of hair from behind my head is missing
Ching-Chong !!g0BzeViXthF
>>7615250 I actually do. I have a pretty recent one in fact.
>Get home from work >Walk in and am not greeted with the usual hug I've come to expect >Ching Chong is asleep on the couch >Adorable start brushing her head >She eventually wakes up >Constricting hug follows >Then she realizes she's been asleep for about three hours. >Freaks out and thinks I'm mad dinner isn't ready >Nothing I say will convicne her otherwise >So she's in the kitchen now making something Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7615279 I don't believe this
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7615279 weird as fuck.
gotta be fake
Anonymous
Ching-Chong !!g0BzeViXthF
Quoted By:
>>7615263 We write greentext stories about our strange moments with our girlfirends.
Anonymous
>>7615381 Goddamn, dude.. you have like the perfect set up with this chick right now.
How the fuck did you get so lucky.. Bet she'd literally do whatever you ask her.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7615429 inb4 stabbed with a pencil
Kitten !I.iINKYgus
Quoted By:
>>7615263 Like Ching-Chong said, it's a thread about any crazy, obsessive, abnormal dating behavior.
The general gist of my situation:
I'm dating a girl who is obsessively in love with me, sometimes she is irrational about it but it's usually sweet, and she has good intentions.
Ching-Chong !!g0BzeViXthF
>>7615429 It's not all dragon dildoes and lube you know. We have our bad days too. Though considering both the fact that the relationship started out as a one-sided obbsesion and Ching Chong lonely childhood things have turned out okay. Don't have a knife in my chest yet.
Anonymous
>>7615517 Haha.. but seriously. I'd be worried about waking up one day to find that my genitals had been cut off because she suspected me of cheating or something...
Ching-Chong !!g0BzeViXthF
>>7615540 I admit there line between adorable and disturbing can be a very thin one, I like to think of myself as one of those circus bears that ride a unicycle across a tight rope while juggiling chainsaws.
Does anyone want to hear about one of the bad day stories?
Anonymous
>>7615588 Yep. That's why we're here. The good and bad.
Kitten !I.iINKYgus
>>7615517 Bad day stories plz?
I'll tell one in exchange
>After a while of her having short, dyed, hair she ended up having to dye it back to natural color to get a job >Broke her glasses >We're walking through the mall and a girl with colored hair and glasses walks by >Kitten clings to my arm and hangs her head, looking sad >"What's wrong?" >"Other girls... they're so much better than me... why are you even dating me when such cuter girls are out there?!" >She goes on a rant about how sad and pathetic she is and how she's so inferior and how she doesn't deserve me >"Anon you're too good for me, why do you date me" >Oh you Anonymous
>>7615588 Yes. Also, make a blog. All the cool kids are doing it.
teH
>Date gorgeous girl for two years long distance. >We're each others' firsts. >We're in "love." >She jokingly says that if I were to break up with her she'd kill herself. >A year later.... >She falls into depression. >Everything I say is wrong when I'm reassuring her. >She tries killing herself. >I break up with her while she's in the hospital.
Anonymous
>>7615657 >She tries killing herself. >I break up with her while she's in the hospital. Stay classy bro
Kitten !I.iINKYgus
>>7615657 >Rachel Uhm... where is she from?
I might know this chick
teH
Quoted By:
>>7615657 Oh and on top of that. She lived 8 hours away from me. Whenever I went out to see her and I said, "Ok, I'm leaving at 3 sharp." What would happen? She'd break down crying for 3 fucking hours. If you got a girl that has crazy separation anxiety. Drop it. If she can't see the positive that you'll see each other soon then it's better to drop it like a bunch of flapjacks.
teH
>>7615670 Controlled environment. Fuck you. If she's in the hospital for a week then it's best to do it then versus a month later when she claims she's better. Ticking timebomb.
Try being with someone that tries to kill themself after you try to reassure them. It's like saying don't jump off that bridge and they do it. It happened last November and I'm still fucked in the head over it. Don't tell me you'd be completely fine with staying with a girl that does that.
>>7615673 Washington.
Kitten !I.iINKYgus
>>7615713 Nah, not the same girl, but the one I know is crazy too.
The bad crazy.
teH
>>7615673 And if you know who she is you probably know who I am. I'm Adam. Pleased to meet you. I moved from California to Oregon to be closer to her and in plans of "meeting halfway." I visited her several times and drove overnight to be with her for less than 24 hours. Shit ended within 5 months of me moving up. Do I regret moving to Oregon and bailing on my friends back in California. No. I feel I have been put into a much better place.
teH
>>7615742 Ya, tell me about it. She was completely fine for hte first year and a half. Last 6 months were the worst. Had depression 2 or 3 years before we started dating. Taht should have bene a clue.
protip: Never date a girl that has a history of mental illness.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7615747 It's almost like questionable content made real.
I don't really have any fucked up stories, being that I'm too introverted to date very much.
Ching-Chong !!g0BzeViXthF
>>7615601 >>7615611 Okay
>>7615612 Well it would be more effiecent then just having a pasta bin.
Okay here's one
>she's on her computer >Her face is pretty much right in front of the screen >Say that her eyeballs will fall out of her head if she keeps doing that. >Grabs my elbow and pulls me over to the screen >Shows me a pagan festival that's happening in the fall >Points to section about Handfasting ceremonies (marriage ceremonies, but legal ones and just symbolic ones) >Doitfaggot is painted over her face >Point out that neither of us are Pagan and thus it would be both culturaly insensitive as well as silly to do so >She's lost it, now she can kill >Starts saying that I don't love her and am only using her for sex. That I shouldn't even have to think about it. >Says that she's not just going to let me leaver her and that I'll learn to love her even if she has to rape it into me. >HFW >Stand there stunned for a bit before embracing her in a hug and saying I lover her to. >She starts crying >This goes on for quite awhile >Eventually tearfull apology >I ask her if she wants ice cream >Feed her cookies and cream Kitten !I.iINKYgus
>>7615783 >I ask her if she wants ice cream >Feed her cookies and cream I lost it here.
She sounds like loads of fun, seriously.
Anonymous
>Have a friend who talks about how all women are bitches and whores >he starts dating this really weird girl who is really slow mentally and pretty anti-social, also butt ugly >ask him why he would date this girl who has 0 qualities >he says its because she's obedient and easy to manipulate >constantly try to introduce him to other girls >constantly try to talk him into breaking up with her >she makes an ass of herself at every social thing we have together >start thinking she's mentally retarded
Anonymous
>>7614490 >I always have this fear about women who have really close relationships with their family This. This this this x 1000. I dated a "daddy's little princess" a few years ago. You know the type... still lives at home, very emotionally/financially dependent on her dad, still called him "daddy", way too affectionate with him to the point where she sat in the his lap whenever she got a chance, that kind of thing. Red flags everywhere, but I kept telling myself I was just being paranoid and that it was just a different family dynamic than I was used to.
I dated that crazy bitch for half a year before I finally caught her out. I paid her a surprise visit on Thanksgiving weekend, and she was immediately very weird and distant with me. But I was incredibly horny from not seeing her in over a week, so I kept getting fresh with her until she gave in and agreed to a quickie in the garage.
I laid about three thrusts into her before I realized I was balls-deep in a another dude's cum. We're not talking "sloppy seconds" here, this was fucking "fresh mayonnaise sandwich" territory. It was gross as hell. So I politely point out that she appears to have been pumped full of semen (I believe the first eloquent words out of my mouth were "WTF YOU SLUT I FUCKING KNEW IT"), and since the only men she'd been around for the last several days were her flaming gay brother and her dad... she broke down pretty quick. I GTFO'd before her dad came at me with a shotgun or something.
To this day, my friends refer to this girl as "Thanksgiving leftovers". Hahahahafuck my life.
Anonymous
>>7615783 >>7615807 You two must have had some serious issues as children to want to be with psychotic girls like that.
Anonymous
I feel your pain bro, but yeah Oregon is a beautiful state
Kitten !I.iINKYgus
>>7615875 For me, I didn't know I wanted it until I had it.
No, the bad stuff isn't fun, but the rest is awesome.
Anonymous
>>7615894 I'm curious what would happen if you tried to have a female friend, Kitten.
Kitten !I.iINKYgus
Quoted By:
>>7615903 I have female friends, and she's cool with them.
They aren't very close, though. They're mostly mutual friends too.
I've had female friends she had never met before. She was suspicious of their intentions, but trusted me so she didn't make a big deal.
Only one she really didn't like and it turns out she was right; the girl wanted to more than friends.
So I stopped talking to her.
I think that it would crush her if I got another female best friend, though
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7615875 Or maybe they just appreciate having someone love them so much that they could be in a disney movie, as opposed to the near continuous hands-on lesson on the pain of trusting that is real life.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7615783 You've known her for like what, less than a week at this point, and she's already pushing for marriage... lol
teH
Quoted By:
>>7615877 Oregon is dope as fuck but I think Mo's is overrated. I fucking love the Oregon coast. Doesn't get any better man.
Anonymous
>>7615873 Kitten how old are you and do you go to University?
Kitten !I.iINKYgus
>>7616009 I'm 20 and I don't, atm
I'm taking a semester off to work full time so I can earn enough to rent some place for my girl and me.
Of course, she's helping pay for it. We just need enough to split it.
Anonymous
I hope the the other threads of this were archived.
Anonymous
>>7616029 Is she a redhead?
Anonymous
>>7616040 yes, two is also archived.
http://chanarchive.org/4chan/adv/19780/crazy-dating-part-2 althought they're set to be deleted in 7 days.
Kitten !I.iINKYgus
Kitten !I.iINKYgus
Quoted By:
>>7616061 Nope, but she will be in about a week.
She dyes her hair pretty often.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
Does Ching Chong take it in the pooper?
Ching-Chong !!g0BzeViXthF
>>7615807 She is but she was really mad. intially Like I'm glad there wasn't knife near her mad.
>>7615836 >start thinking she's mentally retarded This makes a good segue into my next story
>Me and her are eating dinner and watching the news >Was during the whole debt limit fiasco >She asks me why they don't just print a ton of money to fix the problem >I try to explain inflation to her >"Remember it was like with Germany and the end of the first world war, we learned about it in history, I didn't think it was that hard a concept. >I didn't think it was that hard a concept >Flips the fuck out >Asks if I'm calling her an idiot >wut? no >LIAR >Everyone thinks Ching Chong is stupid >Just because her tests scores weren't that great and she mad some mistakes >They tried to put her in lower class >Called her names >Played tricks on her She went on like this for quite some time and this is where I learned about some of the troubles in her childhood. When she was younger she performed poorly in school and would pretty much always be know as the class dunce. Even her parents treated her pretty badly about it. Her peers were the worst though. Picture is slightly related but it really doesn't capture what happened to her.
Anonymous
Kitten !I.iINKYgus
>>7616146 I actually d'aww'ed
but I have a thing for girls being kind of stupid
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7616146 When I say the girl my friend is dating seems mentally retarded, it's not because she doesn't have any kind of knowledge; I certainly don't expect her to. It's because she doesn't grasp simple concepts. It's like she stopped developing her brain around age 10, and now she's in her mid-twenties and acts like a child everywhere she goes. My friend and I have tried many times to treat her like an adult, and she fails that test every single time.
I don't like that she's latched onto my friend, who is about 5 years younger than her but still has to play the role of dad all the time for her, and plans on staying with him for life and never leaving the house or dealing with the outside world. I swear she's going to give him retarded children.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7616146 >Stupid Asian girl >Dat oxymoron She'd probably still be the top student of her class out here in the States. lol
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7615873 Oh my god...what. My jaw dropped.
Just disregarding the fact that she was fucking her dad, how did she not think about the fucking SEMEN INSIDE HER?!
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7615873 >implying women have much control over preventing semen from dripping out of their vajayjays cute story though
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7615873 Okay, that's just double disgusting. There's fucking your blood brother, then there is fucking the man who made you!
Anonymous
Anonymous
Gayfag here, so I know no-one gives a shit, but I'm gonna post anyway.>come out of the closet freshman year in college >friends are all super-chill, but roommate is a stereotypical fratbro who gives me shit for it >makes lots of gay jokes and is passive-aggressively rough with me (shoulder-punching, clapping his arm around me and jostling me around, etc) >backs off saying he was "just kidding" whenever I call him out >near end of the first semester, he gets me to play a drinking game watching some shitty movie he likes, we get drunk together and are actually getting along for a change >he starts cracking gay jokes and getting rough again, asks "joking" intrusive questions about my sex life, complains about his own sex life >oh boy here we go again, I'll play along in hopes that the drunken alpha-brah doesn't get belligerent >puts his hand square on my inner thigh and asks me if I like sucking dick >um >the next thing I know, he's undoing his belt and pulls out the biggest dick I've ever seen in my life >"come on man I'm really pent up"
Anonymous
>>7616183 DON'T LET KITTEN KNOW
lest she puts a nail through her head in an attempt to endear you.
Ching-Chong !!g0BzeViXthF
Anonymous
Kitten !I.iINKYgus
Quoted By:
>>7616409 It'd be fun watching her go into rage mode, though
Anonymous
>>7615873 >way too affectionate with him to the point where she sat in the his lap whenever she got a chance Oh god, I've seen this before. Red flag city. One of my weirdo cousins does this all the time with her STEP-dad, right in the middle of family reunions and such. It's obvious to everyone except her dumbass mom that they're fucking.
Ching-Chong !!g0BzeViXthF
>>7616484 She is proably operating under the rule of pics or it didn't happen or she's in denial. Either way you know what you must do.
Anonymous
>>7616394 That's...kind of hot.
Moar.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7616394 HNNNNNG. Goddammit, I'm on the other side of this story right now. I'm the "over-compensatingly homophobic, secretly-bicurious college dude." Why can't this be my life right now. I need an openly gay roommate to molest, fuck.
Though knowing my luck, if I ever screw up the courage/get drunk enough to try anything gay, I'll probably make my move on the wrong guy and it'll blow up horribly and oh god drama everywhere.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7616531 Blackmail for wincest
Anonymous
Seriously. I'm in high school and I really like this girl. But I do not know how to talk to her or anything. I don't know too much...Help?
Anonymous
Anonymous
Anonymous
Quoted By:
Fuck. I think I had a girl like Ching Chong/Kitten obsessed with me in HS. Why did I have to be so oblivious. Hope she doesn't still feel that way, if she did :(
Kitten !I.iINKYgus
Quoted By:
>>7616736 i'm sorry, bro...
Anonymous
>>7616571 Heh, there's not much more to tell. Relationships with closet cases all seem to go the same, so if you've ever seen one of these go down, you've seen the all.
The guy was incredibly selfish about the sex and capricious about the entire arrangement... some days he would be super buddy-buddy with me, some days he would be very distant and homophobic. Most of the time he just wanted sporadic quickies... random BJs whenever he wanted to get his rocks off quickly, or bending me over his bed whenever he got frustrated from failing to pick up some girl he was after.
But every once in a while (usually when he was drunk and unwinding after something stressful) he'd be up for the full experience--foreplay, rough makeouts, changing positions, letting me top a bit (he always wimped out when I tried to fuck him, but he liked sucking my dick), after-sex cuddling, the works. THAT was the stuff that kept me in that shitty relationship... I let myself get strung along, hoping that he would eventually get over his hangups. Nope, last I heard from him was some drunken booty call wanting me to go for a "fishing trip" to "catch up on old times"... the week after he got back from his honeymoon... yep.
Elreal !!BaQRgI2yb23
Quoted By:
>Friend introduces me to her friend for a blind date. >We chill at my house and smoke >play vidya >She starts coming onto me >we make out a bit >starts taking it further >stop her >she continues >I continue stopping her >eventualyl the kissing stops, she goes home >Over the next week all she does is try to get me to sex her >Break up with her >a day later she gets another boyfriend >Pregnant 2 weeks later >keeping it >forcing the guy to help her
Ching-Chong !!g0BzeViXthF
Time for me to post another story I guess. This one will be adorable.>About 2AM >Trying to fall asleep in my bad (We sometimes sleep in our different beds because we both have a tendency to move around alot in our sleep) >Hear knock on my door >Get up and open it, Ching Chong is there in her pajamas saying she had a nightmare and wants to sleep with me. >Okay >She's cuddiling me tighter than usual, actually cutting off circulation a bit >Ask what her nightmare was about >Says it involved me and some other woman tying her up, dropping her into a deep pit, and then filling it up with concrete as we make out. >Asks if I would ever leave her >Tell her no >She then asks me "But what if some beautiful busty blonde" >I tell her that one of those things do not belong >She asks me which one >I tell her I do not like blond hair and that she worry about nothing >She start to say but >I shush her and tell her the only but I care about is her's >But I thought you didn't want to put your >I stop here there and just tell her that the only way I'ld leaver her is if I lost my free will and that if that happened she could make me her property >She was excited by this
Anonymous
>>7616899 dude, white lie is nice, but when the break up actually happens. That girl is going to hell man. You are going to ruin her both mentally and physically.
RUIN HER.
Kitten !I.iINKYgus
Quoted By:
>>7616899 That's adorable.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7616815 >the week after he got back from his honeymoon Damn, you must be a good fuck
Ching-Chong !!g0BzeViXthF
>>7616921 I've always been aware a break up would involve her breaking my legs so I couldn't leave her.
Kitten !I.iINKYgus
>>7616974 Then what WILL you do if you ever break up?
Kitten !I.iINKYgus
I'll tell another story>Super tired at her place >She curls up on next to me, playing with my hair, kissing my face and biting my cheek (I don't know why she does this, but she loves doing it) >I doze off >Fade into that half awake half asleep mode after a while >Why are my hands moving? >What are am I grabbing onto? >Hear faint whimpering and hands gripping my arms >She's using me to grope her boobs while I'm sleeping
Ching-Chong !!g0BzeViXthF
>>7616985 Praying, lot's or praying.
Why? Do you have an escape plan?
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7617012 *>have pushed her away from me because she insist that I tell her I love her and hug her
Kitten !I.iINKYgus
>>7617022 I have none
You're pretty much screwed, if the time ever comes
Ching-Chong !!g0BzeViXthF
Quoted By:
>>7617034 Pretty much, but I knew the risk going in. I'ld like to think the reward outweights it though.
Ching-Chong !!g0BzeViXthF
>>7617014 That is a bit odd. Mine doesn't do anything while I'm sleeping, or at least not that I know of.
Anonymous
>>7616899 >>7616974 Are you Asian yourself?
Ching-Chong !!g0BzeViXthF
Quoted By:
>>7617100 Nope Celtic-Dutch-Nordic master race.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7616899 haha you're her property. i like it
Kitten !I.iINKYgus
Another one>We're making out >She stops me suddenly (this seems to be the sign that something is going to happen) >"A-anon... I want you to choke me.... please" >What? Why? >"I want to feel everything you can make me feel. Pain and pleasure. Choke me so I can feel you." >Alright, but I don't want to hurt you like this... >I start choking her, gradually getting more into it >She's gripping my arms, tears welling up from her eyes but she still has an odd look of content as she stares up at me >I freak out, not wanting to do any serious damage, and let her go >She catches her breath >"I love you... even when you do something like that, you feel so good..."
Anonymous
Quoted By:
Not sure if this counts but I'll give it a go.>Still hanging with ex-gf who if FWB >Wander around >end up in graveyard >get head >month later >seeing a hippy chick >end up in a different graveyard >not intentional >not "gothy" girls at all >get head again >WTFgraveyards.jpg
Anonymous
>>7617125 >"I love you... even when you do something like that, you feel so good..." stupid bitch
Kitten !I.iINKYgus
>>7617090 I'm not quite sure what got her interested in doing things in my sleep. I don't think many girls do it, or the ones who do are good at not waking up their partner.
Apparently, she's done more that I haven't woken up for too.
I've woken up with hickeys all over, my dick hanging out of my boxers, and my shirt pulled up when it was most definitely down
Kitten !I.iINKYgus
Quoted By:
>>7617135 She's not stupid, she just trusts me. She knows the difference between abuse and pain in a sexual context.
Kitten !I.iINKYgus
>>7617181 Would she ever take you back, since you regret leaving her now?
Ching-Chong !!g0BzeViXthF
>>7617147 Can't be helped I guess.
I can only imagine how she's dealing with not being able to talk to you tonight.
Anonymous
>>7617125 Why do I find choking so hot? I wouldn't actively go out of my way to do it cause it'd seem odd, but if a girl asked me to do that during sex i'd definitely do that.
Kitten !I.iINKYgus
>>7617194 Yeah, it's been tough for both of us. I doubt she'll sleep her entire trip. She literally can't sleep without me.
When I'm not on webcam with her or in person, she stays up until I wake up so she can sleep.
She was pretty depressed when she found out there was no way to contact me
Kitten !I.iINKYgus
Quoted By:
>>7617196 It is pretty hot. I didn't like it until she asked me to do it, and now I love seeing that defenseless face she makes and the way her eyes water, staring up at me.
Anonymous
>>7617186 We live in different countries, and she would still ABSOLUTELY drop everything in her life and move to where I am, completely absent of any plans for employment or a place to live.
It was a weird thing, you know. I generally treated her with respect, but at the same time, I knew that I could do anything I wanted without fear of consequences. If I cheated on her with 100 girls, she would take me back. If I told her she could never see her relatives again, she would accept it. Kinky as hell, good cook, smart enough, but an example:
>we've been together for 2 years >she puts on 20 lbs >i am less physically attracted to her >we are only having sex twice a month or so >she takes to masturbating naked in the middle of the bedroom floor, sobbing and begging me to fuck her >i put my headphones on and try to ignore the sound of her vibrator I got bored with it after a few years, but now that sort of loyalty is all I want. I'm sure it is much better in hindsight, but I can't help but wonder "what if?"
Ching-Chong !!g0BzeViXthF
>>7617235 I imagine so. Not sure how Ching Chong would deal with a situation like that. I don't feel it would go over well. Glad I'm bringing her to my parents house when I go back for Thanksgiving.
Kitten !I.iINKYgus
>>7617262 No offense to you, but I feel pretty bad for her, thanks to that story. Why didn't you just ask her to work out?
Kitten !I.iINKYgus
>>7617277 I wish I could have gone with her so badly, but the family she's going with "wouldn't approve" of that.
Will that be the first time your parents meet Ching Chong?
Ching-Chong !!g0BzeViXthF
>>7617308 Yep in fact as far as they know she's just my roommate. Will proably have to inform them that isn't the case. She's really looking forward to it though. She's told me she wants to be on good terms with my family so I'm thinking it will turn out okay in the end, hopefully.
I should proably be getting to bed. She went into her room a couple minutes ago and I feel like sleeping next to her tonight.
Kitten !I.iINKYgus
Quoted By:
>>7617384 Good luck introducing her to the family. I hope everything goes well.
Have a good night with your lady.
>>7617374 Kitten would rather kill herself than hurt me... though that isn't better at all.
Anonymous
>>7617277 so is her name actually ching-chong. lol
Anonymous
>>7617278 Yeah, I don't really know what I was thinking.
Man I feel like a fuckin idiot sometimes.
The reason I don't try to get back together with her is that she went off the deep end when I left the country and ended up attempting a "cry for help". Like I said, she would move here but I'm afraid that the same thing would just happen again, but worse. I don't think this girl's heart can afford to break again.
Kitten !I.iINKYgus
Ching-Chong !!g0BzeViXthF
>>7617407 Nope just something I chose.
Kitten !I.iINKYgus
Quoted By:
>>7617424 > I don't think this girl's heart can afford to break again That makes sense. Well, I wish you both the best
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7617428 so what is her name. just so when I read the blog it isn't so weird.
Anonymous
Kitten I think you're making all of this up.
Kitten !I.iINKYgus
>>7617466 If you haven't checked, she's not all magical perfection.
She has her crazy and irrational moments.
She's not a made up waifu.
I might tell her about the blog and if she's ok with it, I'll post a picture for proof.
Anonymous
>>7617482 bump for pictures.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
She's not crazy and not related, just posting to bump this thread.
Kitten !I.iINKYgus
>>7617491 I mean on the blog, not here
Her picture won't be up for a few days, since she has to come back and I have to figure out the best way to explain it to her.
Anonymous
>>7617501 why? i'm sure she'll be comfortable with you makign other guys hornyw ith her crazy ways.
Kitten !I.iINKYgus
Quoted By:
>>7617511 .... alright now I'm definitely not posting her picture, even if she says it's okay.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7617511 nice going dickcheese.
Anonymous
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7617384 I fully expect 'Ching Chong' to cut off your genitals should you ever "break up" with her.
Be afraid.
Anonymous
>Girl A invites and two other girls to her place >We meet for the first time one of her friendzoned guy friend >Guy starts joking with Girl B >Guy seems to like Girl B >Girl A takes Girl B outside and asks if she could be interested in Guy and all >Girl A comes back and seems to try and play matchmaker between Guy and Girl B >Tickle fight ensues >Girl A has to go but says she'll come back in a few minutes >Guy and Girl B eventually exchange phone numbers and decide to start dating >Everyone is happy >But Girl A doesn't come back >Look around for her >Find her in public bathroom crying like crazy >She says she was in love with Guy and doesn't know why he ended up dating Girl B >"OMG iits always teh same with guyz they always goes for teh gurl thats prettier then me" >"WTF you had friend zoned him, plus you played matchmaker" >Girl A weeps like a little bitch, offers no explanation
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7617642 I would laugh.
I would laugh long and hard.
Anonymous
so this may seem really off topic right, but in the earlier thread someone said something about /r9k/. now not to be excessively newfag, but
Anonymous
>>7617722 1. Robot 9000
2. nothing worthwhile, or we'd still have it.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7617722 >>7617730 it had a nice start but eventually degenerated into what /adv/ is now + portion of /soc/.
So moot decided to seperate both pools of people, putting
the people posting "rate me threads" into /soc/ and rest of us in /adv/.
/r9k/ was like the male vs female version of KKK
Anonymous
>>7617722 All the misogyny you see, all the story threads, including this one, once belonged to a magical board that neckbeards still fap to, to this very day.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7617722 /r9k/as the gentleman's /b/, which slowly degraded, and then moot decided to exponentially increase the rate by posting a cross-board message saying "hey /b/ come fuck up the place and turn it into generic boring misogyny and camwhores." Almost a year later he said fuck this shit and vaped it.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7613653 Yes. THIS.
Last girlfriend was silent, did EVERYTHING to her.
This one is open, turned out to be an in-the-closet silent girl. Without the freaky.
Damn.
Anonymous
>>7617799 Would I get beaten, raped, or hit on pathetically if I went to this magical land of wonderful wonders?
Anonymous
>>7617722 >1. what did /r9k/ stand for. Robot 9000
>2. what was it all about. It was a random board, /b/ 2.0 if you will, but with a script (the Robot) meant to keep images and text from being posted more than once.
The idea was that it would keep the faggotry and cancer to a minimum. And it worked for about a month until normal faggots found it and made it babby's first /b/ + failbook. And that set off the neckbeards and anons calling it home.
Then to contain the faggotry, m00t created /adv/ to get rid of the relationshit, but the only people that left were the femanons, tired of dealing with angry neckbeards, and the white knights that loved to cater to them.
Then when m00t created /soc/ to get rid of camwhoring on /b/ and r9k, shit started getting better. Until m00t realised that /soc/ was kissing his ass more than r9k ever did and he got butthurt and deleted it along with /new/.
The more you know.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7617853 no, you'd probably be left alone or talked to nicely if you were a decent poster.
but if you were attentionwhoring or going ~*FEMANON HERE*~ you'd get a decent dose of misogyny headed your way.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7617868 >NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! >STOP ENJOYING THINGS oh god my sides
Anonymous
kitten are you still here?
Kitten !I.iINKYgus
>>7617935 Yeah, I'm lurking
Anonymous
>>7617943 i know this is already the third thread filled to the brim with your stories, but i really like them, do you mind to post some more?
Kitten !I.iINKYgus
>>7617957 Sure. Did you read the "d'awww" ones I posted on the blog?
If not, I'll green text them here.
If you have, I'll tell other stories
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7617853 All of the above. It was still 4chan, after all.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>Rather slutty chick is hanging out with us >She starts dating some older guy >Guy is stupid, ugly, unfunny, a total loser, a grown up school bully >Chick tells us that now that she's found true luv she's going to stop cheating, drinking, etc >Chick is serious about it >Guy could have "i'm cheating on you bitch and you're a slut" written on his face >Everyone tells her to stop acting retarded >Guy asks for a threesome in front of her, of course it fails >She won't listen cause she's in luv >One week later phones me weeping and bawling about him > She CANNOT believe he's slept with another girl >Chick proceeds to get into a depression and go to a shrink >Chick tries to get pregnant from him to keep him >Chick is still in a depression
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7617961 i have read the non greentext stories on your blog, since i have read the greentexts on 4chan, i would love to read other stories
Anonymous
>>7618077 hnnng....
It's been said so many times before, but damn you're a lucky bastard.
Kitten !I.iINKYgus
Quoted By:
>Hanging out, as usual >She decides she wants to wrestle me >"Okay, the winner of each round gets a prize?" >Hmm... how can I take advantage of this? >We were both still virgins at the time, so I try my best to go farther and farther >"How about I get to do whatever I want to you, but clothes on?" >"Deal" >We wrestle and I win every round. Repeatedly >Wow, she seems weaker than usual >Realize later she was purposely losing
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7617424 here. Now i'm getting all nostalgic.>I worked a triple today, got home after 11pm >fall asleep in work uniform >girlfriend comes home drunk >i go back to sleep >wake up. she is riding my semi-erect sleeping dick cowgirl. >iamsemiconsciousbutokaywiththis >nod off for a minute >wake up. my dick is in her butt. >wtf? >"i've been practicing with my dildo." Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7617961 >read D'aww moments part 1 >dat ending all of my d'aww
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7618122 he is, i jelly'd hard when i first read his stories
Anonymous
>Break leg >Obtain wheelchair >Complain to female best friend that I can't pick up chicks in a wheelchair >She straddles my good leg >"Maybe you need a more...direct approach?"
Kitten !I.iINKYgus
>Second date we go for a picnic >We decide to make sandwiches for eachother >I make the one for her first. Good lookin' sandiwch >Then it's her turn >Back then, she couldn't cook or prepare food of any type >wtf how do you mess up a sandwich >I didn't think it was possible, but the poor thing made a horrible sandwich >We go and set up our picnic on the park lawn >She obviously feels bad for her lack of food preparation skills, watching me take the sandiwch out >Before I take a bite, she launches at me and clings to my side >"I'm sorry I can't do anything right." >Pat her on the head and eat the sandwich anyway >It's terrible, but I still enjoyed it >She felt so bad she couldn't even eat the sandwich I made her
Kitten !I.iINKYgus
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>this series of thereads
Kitten !I.iINKYgus
Quoted By:
>Go to take a shower without her >Finish, and go to my room to get my clothes >She's wearing my shorts (which are being barely held up by a belt), my wife beater, my socks, and my hat >She knows how much i love tomboys >She wearing all my clothing >"Look! I'm you! I smell good, mmmm...." >Why is this so cute HNNNNGGG
Kitten !I.iINKYgus
>Hanging out with friend >He tells me about this creepy girl who stalks him. A small girl with black hair and glasses >Make a joke about wanting a stalker with black hair and glasses >Kitten runs out of the room and locks herself in the bathroom >wtf did I do? >Knock on the bathroom door >"Kitten, please come out. What's wrong?" >"I don't know, go ask the cute girl with black hair and glasses!" >Oh, I forgot how self conscious she was about the fact she no longer has glasses >She spends the night crying, until she finally unlocks the door, by then she has to go home >During the car ride I explain to her I was making a joke because I already have a creepy cute girlfriend >She spends the rest of the car ride kissing my face and telling me how sweet I am and how sorry she was for over reacting
Anonymous
>>7618210 what did the sandwich look/taste like?
Anonymous
Kitten !I.iINKYgus
>>7618396 It was dry (no mayo) and she put way too much cheese
Honestly, I think it was even worse because she was nervous so she wasn't considering everything a normal person would put on a sandwich
Anonymous
>>7618364 While these stories are amazingly cute and DAWWW worthy, I don't think I could stand those types of overreactions after a while. Do you ever get annoyed with her?
Kitten !I.iINKYgus
Quoted By:
>For the first few dates, she couldn't look me in the eye because I made her too flustered >The first date, we saw a movie. She says she barely remembers it because all she could think about was the shared drinks and the fact my hand was so close to hers >She still sometimes has trouble looking at me in the eye for too long because she feels so "overwhelmed with love"
Kitten !I.iINKYgus
>>7618442 Of course. Like I said before, she's not some "perfect waifu". She's a human and she has her fair share of problems. Yes, the fact she is so insecure is off-putting at times, but the rest of her makes it worth it.
She knows she has problems, so she decided she wanted to go to therapy. She's already gotten better.
Anonymous
>>7618464 Where do I find a girl like this? Or a bit less extreme...
Kitten !I.iINKYgus
Quoted By:
I'm tired, so my brain is having a hard time thinking of stories, so I'll just off little things about her.>Along with the drawings, she's write erotica about us. I made her read them outloud, which was fun to watch because she gets so shy and flustered when saying perverted things outloud >Almost every day, she'll ask me what food I'm in the mood for. She writes down all of them and searches the internet for the best recipes and practices cooking them so she can make me whatever I'm in the mood for. >When I nicknamed her kitten she bought herself a pair of cat ears and she'll wear them for me and meow. Some people might not like this but damn, it drives me insane.
Kitten !I.iINKYgus
Quoted By:
>>7618504 Go for shy girls
I cannot stress this enough
Go for the shy girl who usually seems invisible
Kitten !I.iINKYgus
Quoted By:
This is the last of my stories for tonight.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
usually i tripfag on /g/, and rarely ever visit /adv/.. but damn.. these threads, i barely spent 5 minutes on /g/ the past 3 days
GreenTrashcan !6mvmNVD6E6
Quoted By:
I'm going to get raged at hard for this, as this is more "stupidity on everyone's part" kind of story, but I think it fits:>Do lots of driving and walking around in the heat for my job >In between a bad case of swamp ass and too much walking, end up getting a diaper rash >Tell girlfriend about it when I go visit her later on in the day >"Oh, I've got just the thing!" >Awesome. I could use some baby powder or something. >Comes back with a tub of Tiger Balm >Hurm. Kinda... looks and smells like Icy Hot. >I really hope this isn't Icy Hot. It's called something else, after all. If it's Icy Hot then this is going to be absolutely terrible. >She bends me over and liberally applies it to my ass >Yeah, this is Icy Hot alright >I'm burning. I'M BURNING! >"It gets cooler after a few seconds, you big baby" >Realize my girlfriend might not be so smart >Run to bathroom and douche my asshole with her bathtub faucet >She's sitting there, taunting me for not being able to "handle it" >Challenge her to try and put some on her asshole then >She throws me out of the tub and starts douching her own asshole while screaming >Good times
GreenTrashcan !6mvmNVD6E6
>>7618562 I go for shy, quiet types. I always get weeaboos who are just waiting for someone to listen to their life's story and they will never stop. And then they put fucking Icy Hot on your asshole.
Anonymous
>>7618596 i have no idea what icy hot is, since im not from 'murrica
is it somewhat like gay ben? (pun intended)
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7618562 oh, and don't be an ass to her.
you might not like what happens.
also,
we need 1 more vote to archive this one faggots. I already voted, so someone get on it
GreenTrashcan !6mvmNVD6E6
Quoted By:
>>7618623 Yeah, that's exactly what it is. I'm sure putting it on your asshole hurts a whole lot worse than your balls, too.
Anonymous
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>Date autistic girl >She wasn't so weird to start off with, I was actually surprised when she said she was autistic >In the end, though, all these little things got to me >The final straw was eating her out, when she clearly hadn't washed for days, and I almost vomit >She gets offended, obviously, we have this huge argument that leads me to dumping her for good >Try and get the bus home >"No, you broke my heart, now you're going to spend the day with me" >Lolno >Get on the bus, phone is vibrating the whole trip
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7618736 this was a few hours ago... which is like two years in internet time
Anonymous
>>7614354 That is pretty weird bro. I'd have legitimately asked her to get help.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7618808 welcome new-comer, to the glorious land of kitten stories, you will enjoy them
Anonymous
Anonymous
i banged a girl in the ass while on acid while watching the pink floyd movie The Wall.
ArchFriend !MacfagY8yA
Anonymous
Quoted By:
Oh god i love these threads. I've read every single story posted in all 3 threads, and i never seem to get enough.
Anonymous
>Dating best friend for 6 months now >Have liked her for two years >She's oblivious to everything >Went to High School together, she goes to College in Boston (I'm in New York) >She rooms with three guys she met in college >Sees no problem, gets pissed at me when I express concern about it >She writes porn and teases me constantly, but we don't even make out anymore >Gets pissed because she doesn't understand when I try to explain to her that I'm a bit sexually starved >Got pissed when I told her I was uncomfortable with a cosplay shoot she wanted to do with this guy in California where she would be naked in front of him, body-painted, and then the pictures would be put on a calender that they would sell at conventions. >Doesn't notice when other guys hit on her, will gently flirt with other guys without "realizing" it >Enjoy being romantic with her, even though she doesn't do anything romantic back >...Love her more than anything
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7618903 sounds awesome, do you have any details?
Anonymous
Anonymous
>>7619006 that's just you getting friendzone and being an autistic manchild still haven't picking up the hints.
That's not even close to crazy dating stories.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7619211 >flawless victory Anonymous
Don't have anything nearly as creepy or scary. Just somethign weird I'd like to share.>GF sleeps with that fucking stuffed doll. Likes to cuddle with it between us. >one day making out, while I'm kissing her, she moves the doll between her legs and start humping it. >feels jelly as fuck as the doll gets more action than I do. >forcefully remove the doll >girl start to freaking out. >as a result >got smashed on the head by the doll relentlessly
MOMO !!A8BrPmZzO+j
>>7619238 That's hilarious, sorry for the loss though.
Anonymous
did ching chong updated anythign yet?
Anonymous
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7619238 That girl looks adorable. Very tomboyish.
Anonymous
Oh, man... During the last year I've started to realise that I was the crazy gf with my fucking shenanigans.
Anonymous
>>7619375 come on, its an anonymous image board, its not like were your parents or something
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7619238 What's the name of your girlfriend? She's so freaking cute.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7619238 What's wrong with her fucking nose? tell her to fix that shit
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7619269 what loss? What are you talking about?
Anonymous
Seriously am i the only one imaging ching-chong as the girl from scott pilgram?
Anonymous
>>7619383 Nope, it's more like what I remember.
Because I was depressed and used to be a very ugly weeaboo, after getting past that stage I still thought that no guy would ever love me because I was so hideous. Not did I just have horrible self esteem issues, I had lots of shit going on in my family, mostly caused by my neckbeard foreveralone brother who abused me (not sexually) for years.
Somehow I managed to have 3 different boyfriends from when I was 15 to 18. I was constantly hunting for someone who would show me the least bit of affection, then clung to them and slowly pressured them to date me in two of the cases. I didn't allow them to have female friends unless I had met them personally and noticed that they were "too ugly/hideous/bitchy/prep/whatever". So, uh, in both of the cases I only accepted their lesbian friends as females they could hang out with. I was afraid of being left alone and rejected, which the relationships eventually came to.
The last one of my bitchy clingy relationships was with a long time friend (mistake, mistake, mistake) and I eventually ruined our friendship with my constant whining, jealousy. It also made him vanish from the friend group completely, none have really heard of him apart from his sister.
I'm so glad I got over my depression and started to think about those years and what they included. I'm so ashamed of what I was. Oh wells, I am currently in a happy relationship with a guy I trust and love. No depressed clingy bitching!
(cont.)
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7619677 Still a little crazy though, but mostly about sexual things. For instance I always have an urgent need to be spanked hard and told I've been a bad girl when I've made a mistake or done something wrong when my boyfriend has been around. He thinks it's silly, since the stuff I do to him are not big of a deal (I burn the food, drop a glass, misplace cutlery, eat his last sweetie, kick/hit him in my sleep etc). And then we both get turned on and proceed to some humpy time.
I'm trying to remember some more of my crazy bitchy clingy times, but for now I have to go.
GreenTrashcan !6mvmNVD6E6
>>7619671 I don't watch hipster garbage, so I think of her as this.
GreenTrashcan !6mvmNVD6E6
>>7619699 Also, doubly so if you've seen her in Battle Royale.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7618405 >implying there is such a thing as too much cheese Anonymous
I just want to thank /adv/ for bringing back a little /r9k/. I literally texted my girlfriend to tell her I'd be late tonight since I'm reading these stories.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7619699 >>7619710 i didn't realize they were the same person
wow
Asuka
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7620957 take it to
r9k1.org please. we don't want your r9k shit here
Anonymous
Anonymous
Quoted By:
kitten, are you here?
Anonymous
Vyro !Eo6EK3D9JM
Hey guys! The V-man is back!
Anonymous
>>7621328 are you the blind gilfreind guy?
Vyro !Eo6EK3D9JM
>>7621460 Well duh! Who else would I be, you silly goose?
Anonymous
>>7621531 thi i shall dema- no, i shall ask politely for more stories about the shenanigans you had with your girlfriend
Vyro !Eo6EK3D9JM
>>7621550 Why don't you just visit my blog? I'm going to update at least twice a week!
http://blindgf.blogspot.com/ Anonymous
>>7621612 i was your first follower, and yet, i want to hear some stories
Vyro !Eo6EK3D9JM
>>7621803 I just updated my blog with 3 more (short) greentext stories.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7621915 kewl, i just read them
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7621915 >dat second story >mfw Anonymous
M3 !q2jRS.RIF2
Quoted By:
>be 14 >she's 13 >she's an ex of mine I dated the summer before these events >farthest we've gone: 1 kiss. >hanging out with her at the park >y u no love me, y no 1 love me, sob sob >"but I do" >then make out with me >she's been trying so hard for this, use this to my advantage >avoid her coming on to me >"why are you suddenly sad?" >i miss last summer, when we were dating, I havent been happy since then >"well will this make you happy" >make out with her >she stop crying >go back to her house, her mom is dead asleep >make out some more, end up fingering her for a while
Anonymous
Yo, Vyro. I just fapped to your girlfriend. Too bad she can't see me over the internet, right?
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7619671 FINALLY someone says it
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7615759 please tell me that doesn't apply to guys. I may be at a disadvantage here.
Anonymous
>>7619238 another one from me then.
>gf plays sc2 with me >she's horrible at it, platinum tier. I'm in top masters. >she hates to lose, very competitive person. >doesn't want me to go easy on her, because that's more degrading than losing. >but sobs every time she loses too badly. >she plays zerg, hates me do multi drops >everytime I drop >she distract me with cute gestures and the kind of adorable voices only woman know how to conjure up. >loses concentration, lost drops >she makes the :P face at me. Then :3... >dawws while I wipe her off the map with marine seige tanks. >she puffs her cheeks and punches me in retaliation. >on to next game. Vyro !Eo6EK3D9JM
Quoted By:
>>7622467 While your actions may be very creepy, I'm glad you find her so attractive.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7622717 adorable indeed, what's your and her bnet ID?
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7622717 She has no ass man, like all asian girls. Sitting aroudn palying isn't going to make her ass bigger either. Make her do some leg works and get that ass puffed up not her cheeks.
Anonymous
Asian girls are actually very violent. They do alot of punches and kicks than you imagine. And they all hurt.
Anonymous
>>7622997 It's because they're powered by love
Anonymous
more like greed and evil.,
>>7623061 greed and evil.
Anonymous
>>7623103 greedy because asian girl wants you all for herself. That's a good kind of greed for the man, with the potential for her to turn batshit insane in a snap.
There are so many news from china that where women cut off their husbands or boyfriend's penis out of jealousy. If she can't have your dick to herself, then no one will.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7622717 >>7619238 SHE IS FREAKING ADORABLE. I'd give my left nut to play SC2 with her. More stories?
Anonymous
Anonymous
Can anybody post a link to the kitten blog? I can't find it anywhere. I found blindgf.
Anonymous
What I find amazing is you people's ability to meet blind, deaf, and crazy girlfriends.
Anonymous
Anonymous
Not sure if this counts as a crazy date but,>Got feelings for girl who has bf. >says he's really nice and romantic. >try to show her that I can be better. >its also long distance for me... >he gets distant and doesn't care anymore. >he says hurtful things to her. >makes her cry. >I stay up late and talk to her. >He gets more mad. >She doesn't know what she did wrong. >He rapes her. >Knocks her up. >Painful miscarriage. >He's so sorry and promises to be a good bf. >He's all nice and romantic. >distant, abusive and then rapes her again. >she finally breaks up with him and moves to a friends house. >He finds out where she lives. >First he calls her all raging. >Then he acts like he doesn't care anymore. >Finds out she's getting closer to me. >Calls her and talks shit about me. >Goes over and rapes her >then he brings her to his house. >she gets really mad at him. >Save up enough money to visit her. >We have such awesome chemistry. >Don't fuck but, okay. >I go back home. >she says we don't really have that spark. >she tells me she likes him better.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7623502 duuuude... just duuuuuuuuuuuude
reading that kind of story just pains me.
well, as long as you think the money was worth ti at the time, then I guess I can't criticize you.
Ching-Chong !!g0BzeViXthF
Sup guys. Ching Chong went out for some shopping so I've got some time to post stories.>Sleeping with Ching Chong >She tells me she loves me >Can't help but quote Han Solo and say I know >She doesn't understand the response >After some talking I figure out she's never actually seen the OT >MFW
Anonymous
>>7623502 >he raped her Doubt it. she wanted attention from you bro.
Vyro !Eo6EK3D9JM
>>7623548 Wow. You should watch them with her NOW.
Or, at least when she gets back.
Anonymous
>>7623552 I was already giving her attention without the mention of rape.
I think that was the worst rejection I have ever felt.
Ching-Chong !!g0BzeViXthF
>>7623567 Why do you think she's out shopping. Well asisde from groceries.
Anonymous
>>7623599 should have raped her bro
Vyro !Eo6EK3D9JM
Quoted By:
>>7623622 Ooooh, okay. Yeah, I was totally thinking groceries.
Ching-Chong !!g0BzeViXthF
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7623629 rape is not my thing.
Leaving her in cold silence fits me a bit better.
Yeah, that's what I do pretty much these days.
Leave without saying good bye.
hurts them good.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
Ching-Chong, Vyro and Kitten are like, the holy trinity of the weird girlfriend threads.
Anonymous
This is probably the wrong type of crazy, but here goes...>>Be in relationship with black girl >>She goes on a rant about how much she dislikes white people >>Remind her that I'm half white >>She pokerfaces >>"Oh, sorry! I totally forgot!" >>She starts crying >>I say that it's okay and I forgive her >>See girl with dat ass >>That girl is her sister >>Oops >>She starts freaking out, forbids me from looking at any of her siblings >>She would randomly break into tears due to her bipolar disorder, and get mad at me only to beg for forgiveness a few minutes later (like a tsundere, times ten) >>She wouldn't do anything sexual >>She had huge self-esteem problems >>She goes on another rant about how much she hates white people >>Remind her yet again that I'm half white >>She says "sorry! I keep forgetting!" >>Show her video I uploaded >>The only other person in it is my stepfather (who is white) >>She asks who he is >>I say he's my stepfather >>"But he's white!" >> "..." >>"What?" >>"I'm half white." >> "Oh yeeeaaaah! Sorry, I forgot again."
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7623640 no it was more like.
because (I knew or at least thought)
she was better than that.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
a bit of background info first. >lower my standards... >date fat girl. >yeah pretty much obese. >I've dated anorexic girls too but, I digress. >Seems to have a chill personality. >claims to be open minded and tolerant. >later tells me she hates Canadians. >tell her I got native blood which happens to originate in Canada. >still hates Canadians >Doesn't explain why. just. does. >suggest we try an ethnic restaurant for dinner. >"ewwwww" is her response. >okay... >says she doesn't like healthy food and that fruit/vegs make her sick >only eats fast food... >gets all mad at me for something her friend did. >calls back the next day. >apologizes. >I FRIENDZONE HER! >Suggest we hang out. >Later decide... No fuck that. >She calls back. >I YELL AT HER. (never yelled at a female before) >tell her to never call me again. >she called back but, I completely ignored it.
Vyro !Eo6EK3D9JM
Quoted By:
Bumpity bump bump...
Anonymous
>>7623502 That kind of story kills me inside, it really does.
>>7623677 That would be annoying. Then again I'm the guy that got beat up for trying to get with a girl who's half black. I mean all of it though. The bipolar love-hate thing, the no sexual interaction ever, and the random racism. I almost ended up with a girl who was partly like that.
She was a weeaboo, hated sex for no reason whatsoever, was a devout Christian, had tons of baggage and mental problems, was constantly going through boyfriends rebound after rebound, and was probably a 5/10 at best. I'm really glad I got out of that because later I found out she's also a furry.
Anonymous
>>7623807 christian and furry?
jesus that's fucking horrible.
Ching-Chong !!g0BzeViXthF
>>7623807 >later I found out she's also a furry Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7623865 >>7623878 Yep. I can deal with a girl being a Christian if she can respect that I'm agnostic. I can deal with 5/10 looks if she's good in other ways since I'm not exactly a looker. I can't deal with knowing that she'll probably want to break up with me in a week because she got bored because she "wasn't ready for a relationship", and a hatred of all things sexual. Like she will be guilty and upset if she even dreams about anything remotely sexual, yet she reads yaoi and shit like that all the time.
I just...My mind was so full of fuck after learning all of that about her. I mean how can you like Yaoi and shit, but be Christian and hate guy on girl sex. Apparently her mom thinks she wants to be a tranny and I don't blame her!
Vyro !Eo6EK3D9JM
Quoted By:
>>7623807 >Also a furry >mfw Ching-Chong !!g0BzeViXthF
She just got back, going to down and help bring up the groceries. Got the boxset for us to watch. Also got the spicy mustard I like to put on my popcorn so yeah. This is going to be great.
Vyro !Eo6EK3D9JM
>>7624008 Have fun.
Meanwhile, MY girlfriend is sitting on the couch eating potato chips and listening to "Safety Dance"
Anonymous
Vyro !Eo6EK3D9JM
Quoted By:
>>7624173 Yes. That one.
It's her favorite song, but I have no idea why.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>7624173 >not linking the original crazy LSD-tripping molesting midget official video >ಠ_ಠ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7movKfyTBII&ob=av2e Anonymous
Quoted By:
thread is autosaging now I think, op is left so no more new threads.
Anonymous
