Update 2024-03-27: Greatly expanded the "Samples" page and renamed it to "Glossary".
Update 2024-04-04: Added 5 million mid-2011 posts from the k47 post dump. Browse (mostly) them here.
Update 2024-04-07: Added ~400 October 2003 posts from 4chan.net. Browse them here.

Welcome to Oldfriend Archive, the official 4chan archive of the NSA. Hosting ~170M text-only 2003-2014 4chan posts (mostly 2006-2008).
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ID:kSjbuYPh No.407479257 View ViewReplyOriginalReport
100% Original Content, written as the story transpires, according to OPs imagination and desires. Please be patient for each response post.

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You awake with a blinding light in your face. With a shielding hand, you slowly open your eyes. It's just the sunrise. You sigh a gasp of relief, thankful it wasn't the authorities. You're currently wanted for the murder of a high-ranking official in the government. You are:

a) Erika, a guerilla fighting against the military dictatorship in your country (1980s)
b) Claude, an 11th century thief and blade-for-hire
c) 42, a professional hit-man
d) X9-1337, an androgynous cybernetic organism gone rogue of the 24th century
e) Brandy, a prostitute with an S&M fetish

Inventory depends on the character selected