/b/ - Random » Thread #412254295

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Anonymous ID:uF1AP17H Sun 15 Jul 2012 05:27:44 No.412254295 View View Reply Original Report

Quoted By: >>412284721 >>412288893 >>412292859

Tard stories?
Tard stories.

>be last week
>in colorado on vacation
>be on a hiking trail
>see moose minding its own business, not giving a fuck
>tard and his wranglers/parents coming from the other direction
>tard sees moose, points, makes a loud ass tard screech
>moose flips shit, starts going away
>tard decides to chase moose
>moose stops, kicks the living shit out of the tard
>lulz were had

What ya got, /b/ros?

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:loh8Pt9R Sun 15 Jul 2012 05:29:03 No.412254510 Report

Quoted By:

>Be browsing /b/
>See tard stories thread
>OP is biggest tard known to man

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:rGgkUQ1/ Sun 15 Jul 2012 05:30:54 No.412254802 Report

Quoted By:

>Be browsing /b/
>See tard stories thread
>OP is biggest tard known to man

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:cSGcdul1 Sun 15 Jul 2012 05:31:28 No.412254882 Report

Quoted By:

You niggers.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:J/qguTmP Sun 15 Jul 2012 05:32:10 No.412254991 Report

Quoted By: >>412255483

>dude says to tard in school "i killed mickey mouse!"
>tard does 50 screaming laps around school
>everyone laughs
>the end

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:Mspqi7LF Sun 15 Jul 2012 05:34:58 No.412255483 Report

Quoted By:

>>412254991
oh, george

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:u0ZefUM8 Sun 15 Jul 2012 05:39:12 No.412256196 Report

Quoted By: >>412256358

>thin pretty young mentally retarded girl
>says I can sit next to her on the bus
>likes my hair, tells me so, starts rubbing my leg
>her sitter or whatever makes her sit next to her instead
>another day, same girl, different sitter
>she says, "oh. let's go talk to that guy. I need to get laid."
>sitter is like, NO, you can't say things like that
>a week later in the apartments heard a girl getting her brains loudly fucked out upstairs
>could swear it was her
>fapped like a sleazy madman
>came buckets

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:cSGcdul1 Sun 15 Jul 2012 05:40:14 No.412256358 Report

Quoted By:

>>412256196
>fapped like a sleazy madman
Fucking lol'd

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:xqh16TM+ Sun 15 Jul 2012 05:41:34 No.412256582 Report

Quoted By: >>412260975 >>412266421 >>412266656

>Go 2 a school with no tards.
>kid trying 2 act like 1
>he thinks it funny
>be obnoxious 2 me
>get pissed off after likke 30 mins
>punch his lil faggot face
>break his nose \
>havent seen that fucker since

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:0eBusZep Sun 15 Jul 2012 05:44:33 No.412257086 Report

Quoted By: >>412258139 >>412261592

I've been waiting for one of these threads.

>be lifeguard
>tard named Mondo comes to pool
>has crush on me and my coworker
>jealous tard rage when anyone talks to us
>Promises to buy us rings and love us equally
>Also promises to buy us season passes to the local theme park
>Truelove.jpg

Another story about Mondo:
>Mondo bouncing on diving board
>"stop it, Mondo."
>DBZ Style scream
>Super Man Dives in to the water
>belly flops
>continues to scream coming out of the water
>Repeats process 10 times
>no one gets in his way on the diving board because its too damn funny.
I have more tard stories, but Mondo wins.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:cSGcdul1 Sun 15 Jul 2012 05:49:37 No.412257927 Report

Quoted By:

moar you bastards

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:xqh16TM+ Sun 15 Jul 2012 05:50:58 No.412258139 Report

Quoted By:

>>412257086
I would laugh my fucking ass off, Now tits or gtfo

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:WdQjXtZr Sun 15 Jul 2012 05:54:24 No.412258737 Report

Quoted By:

>Go to school
>See a group of people in an alleyway laughing
>Go and see whats up
>Tard there
>Eating shit
>Says "This doesn't taste like spicy chocolate"
>I look, stunned

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:az1syvC+ Sun 15 Jul 2012 05:58:32 No.412259464 Report

Quoted By:

>really weird smelly tard girl only mentally disabled
>in class black kid asks her notices her pentagram necklace
>asks her if she knows any potions or spells
>she says a bunch of different potions all of them start with dragon and end with a color
>lulz were had
>she goes on to tell us how she lives in a mansion and her parents are rich and they kill people with the potion/poison
>everyone laughs
>everyday for the rest of the year the black kid asks if she has any new stories and sings some melody that goes "story time story time, story time story time"
>always laugh never get in trouble because the teacher hates her

she never felt sad or anything and was generally cluless her name was roquell or some shit like that

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:CDL0KH5g Sun 15 Jul 2012 06:00:56 No.412259894 Report

Quoted By:

> at school
> see tard locked in toilets
> pants around his ankles
> mfw

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:ecZdMuNq Sun 15 Jul 2012 06:02:14 No.412260119 Report

Quoted By: >>412260305 >>412271749 >>412274942

Necessary Fats.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:cSGcdul1 Sun 15 Jul 2012 06:03:18 No.412260305 Report

Quoted By:

>>412260119
Of course, that shit's mandatory.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:xqh16TM+ Sun 15 Jul 2012 06:05:39 No.412260727 Report

Quoted By:

nigger bump

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:1rm0gZ9B Sun 15 Jul 2012 06:06:36 No.412260886 Report

Quoted By: >>412268495 >>412286214

Ausfag here
>be in year 10 (for amerifags year 10 students are typically 16 years old).
>school doesnt offer remedial classes
>have two tards in class (danny and ryan)
>they have a deep tribal hate for each other
>class mates egg them on the fight in classes
>tfw every day is extremely fun due to my class being a tard fight club

new story
>give ryan our phone numbers
>say we are hot girls from another school that he sees on facebook
>text him dirty things
>he sends us photos of his erect 2inch penis
>school finds out
>he gets put on the sex offenders list
>poor retard

again
>danny was extremely susceptible to doing whatever we say
>literally got him to punch anyone or abuse anyone
>all we had to say was, 'hey danny that kid said john cena is gay'

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:TgeXOLtX Sun 15 Jul 2012 06:06:53 No.412260936 Report

Quoted By:

> New school
> Meets autist kid
> Only good friend

True story - And no homo.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:ANV0Sxcl Sun 15 Jul 2012 06:07:07 No.412260975 Report

Quoted By:

>>412256582
the summer is strong in this one

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:TgeXOLtX Sun 15 Jul 2012 06:10:33 No.412261592 Report

Quoted By:

>>412257086
That actually sounds cute. I mean, of course, if you're a woman, which I suppose so.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:WHiA9VlF Sun 15 Jul 2012 06:12:01 No.412261851 Report

Quoted By:

>group project in class
>tard starts yelling next to our group
>"IF YOU DONT WANT TO WORK THEN FUCK YOU"
>tard almost punches his partner
>runs out of class
>teacher aid goes: lolwut
>tard comes back
>"I can't work with them, they don't like what I have to say."
>guy in his group: I told him he needed to be quiet because he kept talking a lot and we needed to get back on track.
>tard: If I can work with them I demand to be in another group
>everyone else: looks away, avoids eye contact
>tard runs out of class room, doesn't come back
>be next week
>class starts again
>teacher: if you start yelling again, i'm going to have to permanently kick you out
>tard starts interrupting a lot
>teacher: please, leave classroom
>tard tries to come back, but is eventually kicked out for good
>be next week
>cop is around classroom
>teacher: tard is no longer with us in the class

haven't seen him since

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:TgeXOLtX Sun 15 Jul 2012 06:13:52 No.412262174 Report

Quoted By: >>412263181 >>412263507

Is this thread funny simply because they are "tards"? Because if you take the "tard" word off each story it just sounds like annoying kids freaking out...

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:hCmzRdwt Sun 15 Jul 2012 06:16:05 No.412262602 Report

Quoted By: >>412286052

>be at elementary school
>See tard coming out of the bathroom
>Tard was running around, half naked
>Ask him wtf is going on
>Tard didn't know he was pantless said he forgot to put back his clothes on after going for a piss

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:Ta/nJwjE Sun 15 Jul 2012 06:17:09 No.412262786 Report

Quoted By:

>dinosaur in my pants
>walk the spaghetti

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:WHiA9VlF Sun 15 Jul 2012 06:19:21 No.412263181 Report

Quoted By: >>412265081

>>412262174
you've obviously never seen a tard before

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:PH4L4T0o Sun 15 Jul 2012 06:20:37 No.412263425 Report

Quoted By: >>412265683 >>412292781

>Outside school smoking at the smoking place during break
>The tard group come outside to tard around
>They be tarding their way to see us
>Tards start saying to us that smoking is bad and that we should stop
>Tell him to fuck off
>One of the tards start yelling like crazy and doing a whirlwind thing with his arms towards us
>One of my friends kick him away
>The tard fall on the ground
>The other tards start panicking and yelling like their life were in danger
>Tard's supervisor come and start going crazy too as she see the tard on the ground crying
>Almost everyone who are here (about 15 person) tell the supervisor that it's the tard fault
>Tard isn't allowed outside during breaks anymore
>MFW

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:cSGcdul1 Sun 15 Jul 2012 06:21:02 No.412263507 Report

Quoted By: >>412263628

>>412262174
Tards are the ultimate source of joy. If there were a god, he'd have put them there for our entertainment.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:PH4L4T0o Sun 15 Jul 2012 06:21:35 No.412263628 Report

Quoted By:

>>412263507
agreed

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:H77v/M5K Sun 15 Jul 2012 06:25:14 No.412264309 Report

Quoted By: >>412265726

>1st grade
>Go to the bathroom
>Enter bathroom
>See tard spreading his buttcheeks and taking a dump on the floor
>Laugh/scream hysterically. Run back to classroom
>Enter laughing, everyone is staring at me
>Teacher trying to get me to use my big boy words
>5 min later: "Cody pooped on the floor!"
>Teacher looks disgusted, leaves classroom. Presumably to investigate what I had said.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:TgeXOLtX Sun 15 Jul 2012 06:29:45 No.412265081 Report

Quoted By: >>412265802 >>412266034

>>412263181
I have aspergers and during my secondary school times I had to visit a bunch of "tard support" institutes. Plus, there were also a lot of Autist kids in my school.

So yes, I've seen quite a few retards in my life. Some of them doing funny shit, others... Not really.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:TgeXOLtX Sun 15 Jul 2012 06:33:07 No.412265683 Report

Quoted By:

>>412263425
Oh, you're such a badass! Damn, nigga! Look at how cool y'all are!

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:H77v/M5K Sun 15 Jul 2012 06:33:17 No.412265726 Report

Quoted By:

>>412264309
>4th grade
>In the same class as a kid with tourettes and autism (I think)
>Has reeeeeeally bad anger issues.
>Randomly gets pissed off for seemingly no reason
>Say's shit like "For Pete's sake" or "Oh brother"
>Teacher always responds with "Who's Pete?" or "I'm not your brother"
>Tard just gets more angry
>This continues until he flips a desk or starts banging his head against the wall and gets kicked out
>mfw we spend the whole year just making him worse off.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:cXFK9DXo Sun 15 Jul 2012 06:33:47 No.412265802 Report

Quoted By:

>>412265081
>aspergers
May I ask why you haven't killed yourself yet?

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:QI61PD2s Sun 15 Jul 2012 06:35:11 No.412266034 Report

Quoted By:

>>412265081
haha you have assburgers

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:MfTy2cHA Sun 15 Jul 2012 06:35:15 No.412266047 Report

Quoted By:

>be 10
>go to a school with a class just for tards.
>tard frequently escape the fence that locks them in their class
>had to sit next to a tard on the school bus once
>looks away trying not to start a conversation
>he puts his filthy unclean arm around like a tard scum
>the tard two rows infront of him pissed on her seat and the bus stinks like un-showered kids and piss.

>be 12
>same guy tard
>guy tard runs around doing tard things
>suddenly some hot chick screams
>tard has pulled her shirt down enough for her bra to stick out
>12 year old me got a boner and had to hide it.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:vjf7BA/x Sun 15 Jul 2012 06:37:32 No.412266421 Report

Quoted By:

>>412256582
You're the Stephenie Meyer of writing responses to threads.
You are, the chosen tard.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:cSGcdul1 Sun 15 Jul 2012 06:38:56 No.412266656 Report

Quoted By:

>>412256582
The butthurt is strong with this one.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:B/oX/ci4 Sun 15 Jul 2012 06:41:24 No.412267102 Report

Quoted By: >>412268109

Wow.... this thread fucking blows

all fucking superfags, you all need to gtfo, none of them are thread worthy

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:Yz91Ah3v Sun 15 Jul 2012 06:46:51 No.412268109 Report

Quoted By:

>>412267102
nigga fuck yo tits I'm dying right now.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:K4Q5zT5I Sun 15 Jul 2012 06:49:12 No.412268495 Report

Quoted By: >>412270301

>>412260886
you are one awful person. YOU'RE AWESOME!
▲
▲ ▲

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:K4Q5zT5I Sun 15 Jul 2012 06:53:54 No.412269335 Report

Quoted By: >>412270301

you guys are all amazing. you all get free internets plus triforce
▲
▲ ▲

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:jrm3iDbe Sun 15 Jul 2012 06:54:17 No.412269396 Report

Quoted By: >>412270058

>Be 14
>Tard has sister who is in gifted classes
>Everyone makes fun of sister for stealing tard brothers brains
>Tard sister commits suicide
>Never see tard again

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:TgeXOLtX Sun 15 Jul 2012 06:57:59 No.412270058 Report

Quoted By:

>>412269396

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:Yz91Ah3v Sun 15 Jul 2012 06:59:24 No.412270301 Report

Quoted By:

>>412268495
>>412269335

▲
▲ ▲

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:WxDf1m2e Sun 15 Jul 2012 07:05:14 No.412271237 Report

Quoted By:

>freshman year of high school
>gym class
>tard wrangler brings his tard into class,has to speak to the gym teacher about something
>tard standing on top row of bleachers
>lays on her side,doing sexually explicit poses towards some of the guys in the class
>ignore it
>hear a series of 6 or 7 thumps
>tard laying on bottom bleacher face down
She was okay,but holy fuck if I didn't laugh my ass off that day.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:TgeXOLtX Sun 15 Jul 2012 07:05:31 No.412271276 Report

Quoted By:

bump

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:AG35WYyh Sun 15 Jul 2012 07:08:23 No.412271749 Report

Quoted By:

>>412260119
Amazing

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:hwyDrs3H Sun 15 Jul 2012 07:13:00 No.412272513 Report

Quoted By: >>412273112

>be 11
>be at friends house playing super nintendo
>fuckyeah.jpg
>Dad tells us tard kid from accros the street named David is coming over.
>Hellnaw.wmv
>Chubbo the Living Tard comes into house with the hugest fucking snot bubble in his nose.
>He claps when it pops and laughs the most annoying laugh ever.
>We go back to playing super nintendo and try to ignore him, until he whispers in my ear, "hey"
>I turn around and he gives me a slobbery, wet, tard kiss on the lips.
>Nope
>Smack that motherfucker with my back hand
>Pimp hand strong
>He cries and runs home.
>Grounded for a couple days for hitting retard.
>mfw first kiss was to a tard
>mfw I found out weeks later David wasn't retarded at all, just annoying.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:FTMKg92z Sun 15 Jul 2012 07:13:47 No.412272631 Report

Quoted By:

Where are the tard gr=irls at my schools for me to fuck?

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:JvPLGNBt Sun 15 Jul 2012 07:15:52 No.412273001 Report

Quoted By: >>412273561 >>412276883 >>412297272

>be 5
>just moved to Alabama
>only the tardiest of the tards were put in special ed
>have 1 of the lesser tards in my class, but still is a tard.
>hes very autistic
>every fucking day in P.E. he runs around and always hits me
>me being beta as fuck let him have his way
>pretty soon my dad starts to notice bruises on my arms, legs, etc,
>demands I tell him what happened
>tell him
>he says that I should stick up for myself even if it means I get in trouble
>tells me he will make sure the school wont do a thing
>go to school the next day with new confidence
>it's P.E. time
>tard comes charging full speed
>wait until I see the whites in his eyes
>front kick him right in the nuts
>tard goes down letting out a screech that could be heard from the heavens
>P.E. teacher runs over to investigate
>Asked what happened
>Tell him I stood up for myself
>He tells me good job
>mfw I got in no trouble
>mfw alabama

I've got more tard encounters if anyone wants any

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:TgeXOLtX Sun 15 Jul 2012 07:16:27 No.412273112 Report

Quoted By:

>>412272513

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:zO0Sg9kl Sun 15 Jul 2012 07:17:11 No.412273238 Report

Quoted By:

MOAR

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:sMSEv83H Sun 15 Jul 2012 07:17:22 No.412273272 Report

Quoted By: >>412273518 >>412274576

I molested a retard in 2nd grade.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:zO0Sg9kl Sun 15 Jul 2012 07:18:44 No.412273503 Report

Quoted By: >>412282758 >>412296227 >>412297279

I'm so scared that my kid will be retarded.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:hwyDrs3H Sun 15 Jul 2012 07:18:49 No.412273518 Report

Quoted By:

>>412273272
WUT DETAILS PLZ!!!

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:K4Q5zT5I Sun 15 Jul 2012 07:19:05 No.412273561 Report

Quoted By:

>>412273001
oh totally dude share em man :)

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:vF/h6TmC Sun 15 Jul 2012 07:19:31 No.412273637 Report

Quoted By:

>Be in 7th grade
>at lunch
>retard comes over to table and sits down
>asks me if i've ever seen Ed, Edd, n' Eddy
>yes
>insane tard laugh
>"I LIKE THE PART WHERE ED RUNS INTO A FENCE"
>"HUAHEHEHEHEUHAHUAHHE"

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:YxQOWxCV Sun 15 Jul 2012 07:24:59 No.412274576 Report

Quoted By:

>>412273272

This

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:K4Q5zT5I Sun 15 Jul 2012 07:25:00 No.412274580 Report

Quoted By:

any1 still here?

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:DsDqS57i Sun 15 Jul 2012 07:26:59 No.412274942 Report

Quoted By:

>>412260119

amongst most epic shit ever seen.

>be 9 yrs old
>playing outside school on playground
>old tard from church walks past
>carrying newspaper and mini-shovel
>resume playing
>old tard walks away 10 mins later
>HOLY JESUS BURIED TREASURE
>treasure hunt.gif
>shallow hole
>filled with shit
>stayed away from old tard in church

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:BiDUPnCL Sun 15 Jul 2012 07:27:21 No.412275005 Report

Quoted By:

MOAR

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:K4Q5zT5I Sun 15 Jul 2012 07:28:23 No.412275228 Report

Quoted By:

pls MOAR MOAR MOOOOOAAAAAARRRRRR

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:JvPLGNBt Sun 15 Jul 2012 07:29:25 No.412275419 Report

Quoted By: >>412275796

>be 8
>having fun with all the other kids in my neighborhood
>decide to have a water balloon fight
>mom sees how much fun were having
>decides she should call the neighborhood tards to come over
>both are autistic as fuck and one is protective over water and the other is fucking scared of everything and hates getting wet
>see them approach
>ohgodwhy.jpg
>mom makes us let them join in
>tard 1 hordes all the water balloons while mumbling to himself while tard 2 hides by the retaining wall
>I devise an evil plan
>tell tard 1 his tard brother was using all the water
>tard 1 rages and starts to pelt tard 2 with water balloons
>tard 2 lets out the screech that forces tard 1 to drop his ammunition
>tard 1 (realizing the water he wasted) falls to the ground and starts crying
>tard 2 is still in rage
>while this happened got a party balloon and filled it up with water
>stood on the retaining wall above tard 2
>bombsaway.jpg
>tard 2 flips shit
>literally he screamed so hard he shit himself
>tard 1 sees the water
>both are coming at me
>both start pummeling me
>cops are called
>tards are taken away
>cops ask what happened
>mfw all my friends say they rage for no reason
>mfw I still don't get in trouble

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:kfAZW03M Sun 15 Jul 2012 07:29:47 No.412275489 Report

Quoted By:

>Be a 5 year old in kindergarten
>Nap time
>Sleeping
>Huge tard hand comes from nowhere, grabs my head and slams it on a table leg with full tard strength
>Hate tards until this day

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:5URHGPYT Sun 15 Jul 2012 07:30:45 No.412275667 Report

Quoted By:

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:L3BKqxeG Sun 15 Jul 2012 07:30:55 No.412275707 Report

Quoted By: >>412276136 >>412276558 >>412292393 >>412302110

>at a farm
>looking for some dude
>see tard who works on the farm
>asks if he can stroke my hair
>sure why not
>tard says some shit about bunnies
>tell him to stop
>tard grabs too hard
>breaks my neck
>runs away
>guy shoots him

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:K4Q5zT5I Sun 15 Jul 2012 07:31:28 No.412275796 Report

Quoted By:

>>412275419
dude bro. awesome story.

anyone still have anymore?

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:DsDqS57i Sun 15 Jul 2012 07:33:29 No.412276136 Report

Quoted By:

>>412275707

copyright fag

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:VE4B1pUP Sun 15 Jul 2012 07:33:53 No.412276226 Report

Quoted By:

>be really young
>standing around talking with friends at recess
>tard running around, runs like hunched over while shaking his head, can't see a thing
>rams me from behind with tard strength
>fingers on left hand pushed really far back
>get up, clutching fingers with other hand in pain
>see tard
>run full force hunched over at him
>headbutt him in the gut with all my strength
>"OOF"
>falls over, cries
>tard wrangler runs over, asks me why I just headbutted Oliver, don't you know he's mentally ill, blah blah
>"Sorry I couldn't see what I was doing, I was running around in pain because he pushed me over"
>don't get in trouble
>tard not allowed to go to recess for a few weeks

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:WJtaE3fl Sun 15 Jul 2012 07:36:07 No.412276558 Report

Quoted By:

>>412275707
i see what you did there.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:qO6DgYFn Sun 15 Jul 2012 07:36:10 No.412276569 Report

Quoted By:

>be 4 or 5
>be in kindergarden playing with blocks or some shit
>tard comes up to me
>breaks glass bottle over my head
>where the fuck did tard get glass bottle?!

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:K4Q5zT5I Sun 15 Jul 2012 07:36:20 No.412276604 Report

Quoted By: >>412276897

fuck it ill post one.
>Be 11
>living in a suburb of cincinnati (lol rly sucked there)
>Had a friend who had a tard in his homeroom.
>The tard decides to draw a "self portrait"
>Friend doodles all over it and messes it up.
>No one gives a shit about it.
>friend doesn't get in trouble

lol i know it aint the best but at least it's keeping the thread alive.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:4cQQxjBH Sun 15 Jul 2012 07:37:26 No.412276784 Report

Quoted By:

There's a black tard outside my window right now. Of course he is yelling…

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:ejRBsGUU Sun 15 Jul 2012 07:37:58 No.412276883 Report

Quoted By:

>>412273001
please do

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:K4Q5zT5I Sun 15 Jul 2012 07:38:05 No.412276897 Report

Quoted By:

>>412276604
and there was something about tards that really pissed off my friend, but don't really know what.

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:kcKKfOen Sun 15 Jul 2012 07:38:20 No.412276937 Report

Quoted By: >>412277502

>Be at BoyScout camp
>was 17 and ran troop.
>troop showers that night
>we had to take the tard kid
>mother made me..
>tard shits in a bag because he has no rectum and missing some of large intestines
>tard takes bag out in shower
>drops on all of his stuff
>death tard screech
>tard runs to camp
>I lol'd

>MFW we let tards in Boyscouts

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO hitler-cat2.jpg, 12KiB, 261x346

Anonymous ID:3w3mlxOT Sun 15 Jul 2012 07:39:01 No.412277063 Report

Quoted By:

>be 8
>at school
>on lunch break
>friend tells me to look down alley in corner of school yard
>2 downsyndromes from the tard class having sex
>cannot unsee
>understand what sex is

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1341549499721.png, 2MiB, 4762x3914

Anonymous ID:iGT40htk Sun 15 Jul 2012 07:39:21 No.412277141 Report

Quoted By:

enjoy!

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:DsDqS57i Sun 15 Jul 2012 07:40:18 No.412277293 Report

Quoted By: >>412277762

>be in boyscouts
>two autistic kids
>one has epic mole on tip of nose
>other one is soul devouring ginger
>every fucking time they're together
>one pinches the other
>other one gets shit beat out of him with stick
>mfw they stay in troop
>ohjesus.jpg

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:DsDqS57i Sun 15 Jul 2012 07:41:29 No.412277502 Report

Quoted By: >>412278397

>>412276937

agreed. same here. don't you love it when they don't take they're meds?

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 22.jpg, 128KiB, 470x468

Anonymous ID:P94vjERB Sun 15 Jul 2012 07:42:32 No.412277669 Report

Quoted By:

>be at water park
>see awesome slide
>see the line
>nope.jpg
>wait a bit for the line to shrink
>get in line
>tard girl in line behind me
>starts saying something about the slide
>i cant understand shit
>i say "Yeah"
>unleash the tard beast
>i calm her down
>get to slide
>go down it
>it was amazing
>See tard girl walking around all sad
>She starts fliping shit
>mfw she asked me to go down with her and i said "yeah"
>oh, and some mexican kid got dived on and had to be taken out by ambulance.
my sides that day, oh my sides.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO ohyes.gif, 487KiB, 270x264

Anonymous ID:JvPLGNBt Sun 15 Jul 2012 07:42:37 No.412277687 Report

Quoted By: >>412278043 >>412278660

>be 13
>last class of the day is tech ed
>90% percent of the class is just fucking around on computers
>unfortunately the tard lair was the auditorium so they had to come here when drama class had to practice
>tard named nick is leader of the pack
>does what ever we tell him
>tell him to go around and kiss everybody
>tard wrangler flips out cause of this
>demands I be suspended
>tech ed teacher says he will deal with me
>tard wrangler leads the pack out
>tech ed teacher turns to me
>ohshitohshitohshit.jpg
>starts laughing
>wat
>tells me not to do it again and that he has a better way
>next day
>tards walk in and go to the computers
>teacher calls me over
>shows me the new software that allows him to see,control,and lock computers manually from his computer.
>points to tard leader
>tard leader is on disney.com
>teacher closes all his tabs
>tard rages
>repeat 3 times
>tard finally loses his shit and smashes the computer before throwing a desk
>teacher makes them leave never to return again
>mfw

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:K4Q5zT5I Sun 15 Jul 2012 07:43:05 No.412277762 Report

Quoted By:

>>412277293
that's funny because there weren't very many tards at all at my boy scout camp in ohio.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:K4Q5zT5I Sun 15 Jul 2012 07:44:47 No.412278043 Report

Quoted By:

>>412277687
love it :)

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:TgeXOLtX Sun 15 Jul 2012 07:45:12 No.412278114 Report

Quoted By: >>412278395 >>412282883 >>412283283

In case if you niggers feel like archiving this shit...

http://chanarchive.org/request_votes

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:K4Q5zT5I Sun 15 Jul 2012 07:46:57 No.412278395 Report

Quoted By: >>412282883

>>412278114
y'know archiving this wouldn't be such a bad idea...

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:kcKKfOen Sun 15 Jul 2012 07:46:59 No.412278397 Report

Quoted By: >>412278865

>>412277502
Half of the BSA is on meds these days.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:Heaven Sun 15 Jul 2012 07:48:34 No.412278660 Report

Quoted By:

>>412277687
FUCKING THIS.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:DsDqS57i Sun 15 Jul 2012 07:49:54 No.412278865 Report

Quoted By: >>412279525

>>412278397

fuckin sucks, after our one scoutmaster left it went to all hell, a third of the kids were sheltered or had mental issues. that's why it's going to be fucked when my kids get in.

>be 16
>scoutcamp again
>kid off his meds
>kicks other kid in the spine
>holyfuckingouch.jpg
>ragestabs book with knife
>mfw expecting death that night

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO SurprisedBatman.jpg, 17KiB, 183x275

Anonymous ID:JvPLGNBt Sun 15 Jul 2012 07:53:20 No.412279372 Report

Quoted By:

>be 14
>be at new school
>don't know anyone so I eat lunch by myself
>have to piss
>walk into nearest bathroom
>unleash the longest piss ever (similar to a movie theater piss)
>tard walks in
>stands in the urinal next to me
>drops pants all the way
>me (still pissing) hear something
>tard is fapping
>try to get away but the piss keeps coming
>tard starts moaning
>tard notices me
>tard looks into my eyes
>wat
>starts moaning louder
>he wont look away
>im almost done pissing
>tard touches my hair with his free hand
>done pissing and start to run
>tard proceeds to follow
>his pants trip him
>tard falls on his face
>try to act like everything is normal
>tard wrangler goes looking for her lost tard
>checks the bathroom
>I hear a blood curling scream
>tard wrangler calls ambulance
>see tard on stretcher with a bloody face, busted teeth, and a fully erect penis all while he is screaming MOAAMHHAAA
>mfw

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:kcKKfOen Sun 15 Jul 2012 07:54:18 No.412279525 Report

Quoted By: >>412281443

>>412278865
My scoutmaster is beside himself now, I go down and help out sometimes since I'm out of college. But the Troop was always very old fashion and strict. It's nearly dead. Most of scouting in the North is.

>Taking BSA swim test
>see tard in other troop walking on dock with staff
>tard flips shit and sprints down the dock
>slips and smashes his head off the dock
>bounces into lake
>wrangler went diving in for him
>I lol'd because it all I can do in these situations with tards

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:8SAoOoLw Sun 15 Jul 2012 07:55:51 No.412279774 Report

Quoted By:

i guess i got one.

>I be 10
>we be in the cafeteria lunch line
>wild tard appears with helmet
>lines up behind my friend
>nailes my friend in the head with super tard strength
>blood on the floor
>tard starts yelling and shits himself
>tard wrangler is shitting bricks and confused
>tard pulls off pants and flings shit at superintendent
>no more tard classes

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:K4Q5zT5I Sun 15 Jul 2012 07:57:17 No.412280041 Report

Quoted By:

2 more votes cmon guys :)

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:JTXNxJ1G Sun 15 Jul 2012 07:58:08 No.412280190 Report

Quoted By: >>412280323 >>412280371

>Be 2 years ago
>Senior year of high school
>We as seniors decide to fuck with a tard because why not.
>Lets name the beast "cooper"
>Cooper regularly takes brakes halfway through classes to go to the "bathroom"
>All he does is fap in there and play with his legos in the toilet. (we didnt know this at the time.)
>Decide were gonna bust this shit up and send him on back to class
>We prepped our shit and decided to go swat on his ass with some super soakers
>We walk out of class like men on a mission, no one giving a fuck that were carrying military grade weapons of wetness on a quest of justice
>Im told to go in first to shut off the lights to get ready for the "breach and clear"
>Walk in with my buds and notice he's in the farthest stall from the door.
>Lights go off

Part 1

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:JTXNxJ1G Sun 15 Jul 2012 07:58:48 No.412280323 Report

Quoted By:

>>412280190

>Hear tard mumbles as the beasts cognitive faculties start to perceive that there's a threat coming
>Bro's bust down stall door and open up on the monster, getting him soaking wet.
>The beast rages and the scream of what can only be equivalent to a Tyrannosaurs Roar as it guards it's territory is heard. Breaking the normal silence of the school.
>Light goes on.
>Beast has no pants and is covered in cum and shit. He charges at us like a bull with a mad lust for death and carnage.
> We flee from the beast into the halls and separate into the myriad of rooms and other passageways.
>My luck he follows me
>Run past the office, where the force of tard handlers are arranged to stop the beast.
>Beast is calmed down and taken away.
>Principle comes out of the office and asks "what the hell happened?"
>"Sir, he charged me in the bathrooms."
>"Well, he's not comin here anymore thats for sure."
>They never found out it wasn't just me. Got off scot free and blamed the damage on Cooper
>And thus the beast was slayed and never to be seen again.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:K4Q5zT5I Sun 15 Jul 2012 07:59:03 No.412280371 Report

Quoted By:

>>412280190
more please

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:Hw6HDjqP Sun 15 Jul 2012 07:59:09 No.412280384 Report

Quoted By:

>be last year
>lunch at school
>me and group of friends hanging out on the quad
>300 pound black tard waddling along behind us
>friend pushes me as hard as he can into said black tard
>tard hits the ground HARD
>some blood, no movement for a while
>gets up, and walks away like its nothing
>lunch continues

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO yas.jpg, 21KiB, 320x240

Anonymous ID:wCW64D1m Sun 15 Jul 2012 07:59:31 No.412280461 Report

Quoted By:

get a load of this

>bully at school pulls my pants down in front of girl I like
>I wait till hes away and I go to his house
>bullies sister is a total mental tard
>I convince her she has ghosts in her underware
>she gets naked and I touch her
teehee

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:DsDqS57i Sun 15 Jul 2012 08:00:47 No.412280667 Report

Quoted By:

>be 14
>at church camp this time
>down syndrome kid named phillip
>cool guy.jpg
>one day in day room chilling with chicks, bullshitting
>out of guy's rooms comes phillip, no pants
>2 inches
>no shame
>girls go apeshit
>phillip laughs and retreats
>mfw greatest man alive has down syndrome

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:4yZ25rNL Sun 15 Jul 2012 08:01:36 No.412280807 Report

Quoted By:

>be sophomore year
>Some guy form south africa comes to our school
>we all be in auditorium
>gettin our assembly on
>this poor man tells horrific tales of how he watched his whole family get murdered by tribesman
>talks about how he had to hide in trees as to not die from lions
>everybody is speachless
>you could hear a pin drop
>asks if anybody has any questions
>Tard raises hand
>"yes, you"
>"usdkfgakfbasdfkga"
>"what was that, i didn't hear you"
>"DU PEPL IN AFRIKA WARE CLOTHES?!?!?!"
> Speaker sighs
>"yes, we do wear clothes"

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:jofP7fR2 Sun 15 Jul 2012 08:03:21 No.412281093 Report

Quoted By:

One more vote and this is archived.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:8SAoOoLw Sun 15 Jul 2012 08:05:16 No.412281436 Report

Quoted By:

now the memories are coming flooding back...

>I be 17
>taking a good long shit
>reading high school graffiti
>restroom door bursts open and someone sqeals like a pig
>must be a yard
>stall door next to me swings shut
>see pants drop and diarrhea starts coming down
>ohshit.jog
>stall I'm in is where the emergency drain is
>yourefuckingkiddingme.jpg
>run out of the stall with my pants dropped
>see tard wrangler and flip him off while pulling up pants.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:XGEkSNFQ Sun 15 Jul 2012 08:05:19 No.412281443 Report

Quoted By: >>412282932 >>412283295

>>412279525
> return to old troop as an adult leader after college
> leave for summer camp last sunday
> be tuesday
> have to take an enormous dump
> camp has bathrooms
> bathroom is empty
> sit in stall
> drop massive load out of my ass
> feel more waiting to escape
> sit and wait
> kid goes into stall next to me
> kid starts fapping furiously
> probably doesn't realize I'm trying to poop next to him and thinks the stalls are all empty
> flush toilet to let the guy know I'm here
> he faps even harder and starts moaning out loud
> sounds like he's either deaf or a downie
> decide to finish my dump another time
> wipe ass and leave
> went with a few other kids in my troop who were taking showers
> wait for them by showers
> bathroom door opens
> fapping kid exits
> he's deaf AND a downie
> got home earlier today
> still unnerved

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO allofmywat.gif, 822KiB, 300x340

Anonymous ID:JvPLGNBt Sun 15 Jul 2012 08:09:06 No.412282087 Report

Quoted By:

>be 12
>parents make me become an alter server
>its christmas and we made plans to go out with some friends after church
>waiting for the priest to get done talking
>start to look around the crowd
>spot mega tard (about 40 years old) licking his lips
>make eye contact
>look away and spot someone get up to go to the bathroom
>it's my freind
>look back at tard he spotted my friend too
>tard gets up and follows
>5 minutes later
>friend comes in crying and screaming
>says tard raped him
>300 people hear this
>shitstorm
>cops come over
>friend breaks down and gives them the details
>tard pinned him against the walls and gave him the tongue
>mfw

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:y8NMEQBd Sun 15 Jul 2012 08:09:08 No.412282093 Report

Quoted By:

LOL

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:FrUolk5B Sun 15 Jul 2012 08:09:57 No.412282225 Report

Quoted By:

>be in 9th grade
>tard named charles thinks hes my friend
>shows affection by doing charming things like stepping on your feet or calling you a faggot
>i hate charles
>charles is in my weight lifting class
>always comes over to me to talk shit about people
>he smells like sweat shit and jizz and has yellow teeth
>hates black people and pretty much everyone, wants to fuck every girl
>i use his racism against him one day
>"hey charles, brandon (a big nigger) was laughing at you and telling everyone you are a retarded fucking loser"
>charles goes into rage mode surprisingly fast after this, turns red, starts talking to himself and pacing around
>hes so mad he starts off trying to attack me, i escape and he locks onto the nigger
>he runs up to him, calls him a "fucking nigger" in front of everyone and starts trying to fight him
>the nigger has no shame at all and beats the hell out of a retard
>charles has tard stamina though, and gets up after a thorough ass kicking and picks up a track hurdle
>he starts swinging it wildly at the nigger, the nigger dodges and kicks his ass some more.
>charles was removed from wt training after that day

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO potato4328.jpg, 64KiB, 450x373

Anonymous ID:0h63KLHk Sun 15 Jul 2012 08:12:24 No.412282620 Report

Quoted By: >>412282721

lol, man I do luv dem tard stories rotfl

www.Privacy-Toolz.com

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:mvwBASoI Sun 15 Jul 2012 08:13:07 No.412282721 Report

Quoted By:

>>412282620
Nobody ever goes to your site.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:4xXyucFo Sun 15 Jul 2012 08:13:21 No.412282758 Report

Quoted By:

>>412273503
Get regular ultrasounds while it's still in the womb, a doctor would be able to tell. If it turns out he would be retarded get an abortion immediately.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:ejRBsGUU Sun 15 Jul 2012 08:14:10 No.412282883 Report

Quoted By:

>>412278395
>>412278114
Niggers there's like a thousand tard threads archived, search before requeting

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:Qcf+gpvf Sun 15 Jul 2012 08:14:28 No.412282932 Report

Quoted By: >>412283905

>>412281443 That would suck being a deaf downir

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:cDT0j4ss Sun 15 Jul 2012 08:16:31 No.412283283 Report

Quoted By:

>>412278114
This thread isn't really archive worthy. The best posts in it are the fats and neal screencaps.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:XGEkSNFQ Sun 15 Jul 2012 08:16:36 No.412283295 Report

Quoted By:

>>412281443
> be friday
> having raccoon problems all week
> find out that the tard in my troop has been stockpiling candy wrappers under the tent platforms
> tell him that that's why we have raccoons
> tell him to go put the wrappers in the dumpster
> tard refuses solely out of spite for authority
> let it go, don't ask him again

Later that night

> be 4 am
> be awoken by bloodcurdling tard screech
> check to see what's wrong
> look into tard's tent
> four raccoons in his tent
> tard flipped out
> made the raccoons flip out
> raccoons got stuck in mosquito net
> everything is just a pile of tard and raccoons flailing around in the mosquito net making all sorts of noises
> laugh
> go back to bed
> get out of bed an untangle raccoons to keep my ass out of trouble

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:8SAoOoLw Sun 15 Jul 2012 08:16:46 No.412283325 Report

Quoted By:

>I be 12
>moved to new city
>mandatory physical education
>half are tards
>we be running track today
>day be hot
>tards wranglers and coach inside while we rot outside
>girl tard starts stripping
>all of us stop
>tard spreads ass cheeks and shits on track
>keeps running
>tard stops to investigate shit
>starts rubbing his face into it
>tard wranglers finally noticed
>tard wranglers and coach never seen again.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:Hw6HDjqP Sun 15 Jul 2012 08:18:28 No.412283643 Report

Quoted By:

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:XGEkSNFQ Sun 15 Jul 2012 08:19:52 No.412283905 Report

Quoted By:

>>412282932
He wasn't completely deaf, but it was bad enough to make him about five times more obnoxious

He also asked me for "permission to exit" upon leaving the bathroom

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:NRB2/oM+ Sun 15 Jul 2012 08:24:21 No.412284721 Report

Quoted By: >>412285409

>>412254295

was in state mental institution age ten. used to fuck the retards. the best one was Shelly.... 20 and almost a downy but without the face. kinda hot really.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:AG35WYyh Sun 15 Jul 2012 08:25:09 No.412284870 Report

Quoted By: >>412285084 >>412285843

I got one
">be in high school"
">mexican tard has a gay crush on my friend"
">friend is beta as fuck, won't do anything"
">tard sits next to friend at lunch"
">other friend starts recording on his phone"
">tard starts furiously tickling friend"
">friend can only say 'no, dont, stop'"
">I laugh so hard when i see this"
">friend lives in constant fear of seeing tard in halls"
">sogoddamnfunny.jpg"
">at one point the tard corners friend and starts tickling furiously"
">friend runs away"
">I laugh heartily"

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:AG35WYyh Sun 15 Jul 2012 08:26:15 No.412285084 Report

Quoted By: >>412285359 >>412285879 >>412287054 >>412288007 >>412289017 >>412292239 >>412293376 >>412304957

>>412284870
Goddammit, I dont get how to make my text green

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:9UjO2PEK Sun 15 Jul 2012 08:27:49 No.412285358 Report

Quoted By: >>412285843 >>412292239 >>412293376

>Senior year of high school in an advanced acting >class that the school let a tard attend. we split into >groups to improv a "serious" scene. My group does >one about a single dad having to tell his young sons >that their dog died. Had some funny moments too.

>After the scene, the teacher tells the class >something like, "See, anon did a serious skit but still >said things were funny because sometimes the most >serious things in life can be funny" or something like >that.

>The tard has anger issues and stands up and yells, >"If he's so funny, where's his rubber chicken!?" Pulls >down his blue sweatpants that he wore every day >and starts fapping. Teacher gets everyone out of the >room because tard wont stop. Ten minutes later the >paras come over and carry him out of the room.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO faggot.png, 222KiB, 415x357

Anonymous ID:DsDqS57i Sun 15 Jul 2012 08:27:50 No.412285359 Report

Quoted By:

>>412285084

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:NRB2/oM+ Sun 15 Jul 2012 08:28:06 No.412285409 Report

Quoted By:

>>412284721

details; building 35 children's and young adult ward 35c in Salem, Oregon. between Center and D street on main state hospital grounds.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:TgeXOLtX Sun 15 Jul 2012 08:28:17 No.412285451 Report

Quoted By:

bumpin'

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:DdgSbOoX Sun 15 Jul 2012 08:29:05 No.412285617 Report

Quoted By:

>be 18
>be on train going to friends house
>need to shit
>I dont like public restrooms
>Hold shit in
>Need to fart
>Fart tard Everywhere in pants
>emabrassed and try to slowly get up without anyone >noticing
>see shit stains on seat
>ohshit.jpg
>sit back down
>feel warm shit in my underwear
>what the fuck do I do
>Stand up like a boss, throw shit at passengers on >train
>get the tard kicked out of me
>They make me eat my own shit while calling me a >fuck tard.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:VE3WWnyP Sun 15 Jul 2012 08:29:26 No.412285678 Report

Quoted By:

>Drive with some friends to city
>Tard comes with us
>Hes obsessed with Nirvana
>We go in to music store
>Hear excited scream upstairs
>Tard found a live concert DVD for Nirvana, runs down stairs with it smiling like a crazy motherfucker
>We all ignore him, buy our shit, and go back to the car.
>I drop everyone off except one mate who's coming back home with me
>See Nirvana DVD left on the back seat
>Get empty DVD case
>Photo copy the cover of the Nirvana DVD, print it and put in empty case.
>Friend videos me running it over, we post it on tards Facebook wall

In the next 10 minutes, nothing happened. Then, my phone rang.

>"WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM YOU PIECE OF SHIT YOU ASSHOLE WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THAT"
>*Weird grunting noises*
>*hangs up*

Found out the next day he punched a whole through his door, screamed his face off at his parents, went crazy, and then got locked outside by his parents for an hour. After finding this out, we posted a picture of the real one in good condition on his wall, and his reaction was confusing. He seemed to just forget everything that happened the day before and wanted to be friends with us again.

I still laugh about it every day I see him.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:kGG74pCN Sun 15 Jul 2012 08:30:12 No.412285843 Report

Quoted By: >>412286246

>>412284870
>>412285358
Oh god the newfaggotry

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1342320022665.jpg, 11KiB, 245x318

Anonymous ID:8SAoOoLw Sun 15 Jul 2012 08:30:25 No.412285879 Report

Quoted By:

>>412285084

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:CuXmWq/X Sun 15 Jul 2012 08:31:17 No.412286052 Report

Quoted By:

>>412262602
holy shit, i did this in elementary school and the janitor stopped me.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:U5l3RG++ Sun 15 Jul 2012 08:32:07 No.412286214 Report

Quoted By:

>>412260886

OMG, I know him. He was always waving his hand in front of his face yelling "YOU CAN'T SEE ME"

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:9UjO2PEK Sun 15 Jul 2012 08:32:19 No.412286246 Report

Quoted By: >>412286750 >>412287020 >>412287809

>>412285843
only newfags call newfags newfags

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:kGG74pCN Sun 15 Jul 2012 08:34:58 No.412286750 Report

Quoted By: >>412287271

>>412286246
>Implying that greentext fail isn't newfaggotry
">mfw"

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO xzibit.jpg, 52KiB, 741x487

Anonymous ID:DsDqS57i Sun 15 Jul 2012 08:36:21 No.412287020 Report

Quoted By:

>>412286246

only the newfags call the newfags out for being newfags when they're newfags

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:FrUolk5B Sun 15 Jul 2012 08:36:33 No.412287054 Report

Quoted By:

>>412285084
LOL you were so close man. just dont put it in quotes

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO fats mcgee.jpg, 593KiB, 1277x4855

Anonymous ID:MUjjDCPk Sun 15 Jul 2012 08:37:19 No.412287215 Report

Quoted By:

Fats McGee and his Retard Three

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Requiem of Roemer.png, 1MiB, 2560x3576

Anonymous ID:4OseCMtr Sun 15 Jul 2012 08:37:21 No.412287223 Report

Quoted By:

Not mine but I copied the whole story down for a couple of them.

I donned this one Requiem of Roemer

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:9UjO2PEK Sun 15 Jul 2012 08:37:37 No.412287271 Report

Quoted By:

>>412286750

Implying that I implied greentext fail isn't newfaggotry.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:8SAoOoLw Sun 15 Jul 2012 08:37:44 No.412287289 Report

Quoted By:

>be 20 and at a university
>walking back from class
>spot a tard looking at a campus map
>idgaf.jpg
>walk through a puddle
>irrigation only comes on at night
>confused.jpg
>look back
>tard was pissing her pants and walked to the map
>fuckmylife.jpg

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:4xXyucFo Sun 15 Jul 2012 08:40:19 No.412287809 Report

Quoted By: >>412288161 >>412288180 >>412289635

>>412286246
Paradoxical. So what do oldfags call newfags?

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:mvwBASoI Sun 15 Jul 2012 08:41:21 No.412288007 Report

Quoted By:

>>412285084
Lurk more before you post again, please

I asked politely..

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:mvwBASoI Sun 15 Jul 2012 08:42:24 No.412288161 Report

Quoted By: >>412291775

>>412287809
"Oldfags" don't bother with cancerous titles and don't bitch all the god damned time.

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:8SAoOoLw Sun 15 Jul 2012 08:42:36 No.412288180 Report

Quoted By:

>>412287809

potatos

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:SSvh80el Sun 15 Jul 2012 08:42:38 No.412288205 Report

Quoted By:

>All four years of high school
>Two girls come to mind. One was fat and chinky, and the other one looked like a very young meth addict.
>Both girls, independently of each other, would run through the halls every passing period. The chinky one would shout random phrases and talk to herself.
>I almost envied their obliviousness.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:2ELJWRD6 Sun 15 Jul 2012 08:43:38 No.412288407 Report

Quoted By:

>shit

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:zEAutAAa Sun 15 Jul 2012 08:46:04 No.412288893 Report

Quoted By: >>412289167

>>412254295
Fuck, the app I'm using didn't tell me my story was too long.
Anyway, the basic premise was that I got a tard stoned.
I'll re-type it, if anyone's interested.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:4xXyucFo Sun 15 Jul 2012 08:46:43 No.412289017 Report

Quoted By:

>>412285084
It's called a fucking > you dim fuck read the rules and FAQ and lurk moar

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:4xXyucFo Sun 15 Jul 2012 08:47:33 No.412289167 Report

Quoted By: >>412291267

>>412288893
Please do

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:k0NNW5YF Sun 15 Jul 2012 08:49:40 No.412289572 Report

Quoted By:

I work in a special needs school for heavily disabled/developmentally delayed kids, in particular with a classroom of autistic teenage boys.

They're all pretty cool, actually. Lazy as fuck though.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:mvwBASoI Sun 15 Jul 2012 08:49:57 No.412289635 Report

Quoted By: >>412290551 >>412290689 >>412290869

>>412287809
To elaborate further, the only people who bother to bitch about how /b/ is now are only doing so in a vain attempt to show that they've been here a long time, but why they do that is lost on me since it's a fucking anonymous board.

The 2 biggest giveaways that someone is new here:

1. They don't understand how shit works. This includes the "culture" and lingo, as well as the actual mechanics of the website. This includes a lot of the shitposting and replying to copypasta that goes down nowadays. The key is to tell them to lurk moar. This brings me to the second giveaway.

2. They use terms like "newfag" "summerfag" and "oldfag" and would rather accuse someone of being one of the first two instead of actually telling them to lurk moar. You can also tell they're new if they actually answer someone's question instead of telling them to lurk moar.

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:1aaTcxgf Sun 15 Jul 2012 08:52:11 No.412290105 Report

Quoted By: >>412290410

you guys really shouldn't be making fun of mentally challenged people. its not fucking cool, i hope you all have a good laugh when your all rotting and burning in hell. fucking lowlifes.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:mvwBASoI Sun 15 Jul 2012 08:53:43 No.412290410 Report

Quoted By:

>>412290105
This here is a troll. Don't reply to him for a while and he'll go cry himself to sleep.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:4xXyucFo Sun 15 Jul 2012 08:54:27 No.412290551 Report

Quoted By: >>412291775

>>412289635
Alright, I can't disagree. But in one of my posts in this thread I answered an anon's question AND told him to lurk moar, what does that make me? A mediumfag?

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:8SAoOoLw Sun 15 Jul 2012 08:55:16 No.412290689 Report

Quoted By:

>>412289635

>internets have been won today.

good thing it is now archived.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:1Okn7rAO Sun 15 Jul 2012 08:56:10 No.412290869 Report

Quoted By: >>412291775 >>412292037

>>412289635
summer.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1339458889588.jpg, 29KiB, 848x480

Anonymous ID:qt1Y6m4f Sun 15 Jul 2012 08:56:15 No.412290884 Report

Quoted By: >>412292783

Aight /b/itches, recounting a few encounters from Middle school. Posted them a few times in these threads and people liked, so...

>Be in 8th grade
>Already hate tards
>Get detention because a tard I was walking past got tapped by another, flipped out, and said I hit him
>Hate tards moar now
>Go to detention, helping the TardGuard with some random bullshit tard activity in the gym
>Notice something odd about the super-downy tards
>Namely, that they act like parrots when they hear a new word
>Seeds of a plan begin to form
NEXT DAY
>I gather a few friends who also want revenge on the tards for a multitude of reasons
>One guy got kicked in the dick in the gym by a tard, but I digress
>Class is 'dismissed' for lunch
>Which means all the 8th grade classes line up outside of the cafeteria for 6 hours
>Our class is first, and my little group is at the front of the line
>Tard line approaches, because they're tards the TardGuard lets them cut in front of everyone
>the time is now
>My group of co-conspirators begins to swear fantastically, but only loud enough so the tards nearby can hear it
>One of the super-downies picks up the new, novel words
>His fellows join him in the chorus of obscenity
>COCKS
>PENIS
>ASS
>ASS
>ASS
>FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
>mfw
To Be Continu'd

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:UtnYiasf Sun 15 Jul 2012 08:56:58 No.412291027 Report

Quoted By:

>Be earlier this year
>Go on Jrotc trip to a fort
>We have to clean the barracks
>friend suggests cleaning showers
>logic dictates they're already clean
>me checking stalls
>Open up door
>see the company tard standing butt ass neked.
>pile of shit between his legs.
>Lol my ass off
>make friend that suggested cleaning showers clean it
>he pukes
>he has to clean that too
>i lol my ass of the whole time
>he hates me now
>mfw

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:1TqIb3/d Sun 15 Jul 2012 08:57:28 No.412291117 Report

Quoted By:

>tard has downs
>tard is down
>tard has shit on it's head
>tard is dancing on chair with meatballs in its nostrils
>tard is dead
>lulz were had

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:zEAutAAa Sun 15 Jul 2012 08:58:17 No.412291267 Report

Quoted By: >>412293656

>>412289167
Okaie dokie, here's the edited version:
>be 16
>my highschool lets the tards eat lunch outside
>lunch lasts 3 periods
>tards spend the whole time out there
>one day me and some bros skip 5th period (second luch period of the day)
>we sneak off into the woods
>one bro busts out some quality dank
>awshitnigga.jpg
>roll up some blunts
>puff puff pass
>errbody's baked
>suddenly rustling in the bushes
>"id sbokey ober heer"
>wat.jpg
>a wild tard appears
>he's managed to escape the wranglers
>tard appraoches me
>"hay gize"
>uh. hi...?
>"whudju gaize doin'?"
>suddenly get an idea

I'll just do the rest in a second part just in case.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:mvwBASoI Sun 15 Jul 2012 09:00:40 No.412291775 Report

Quoted By: >>412292242 >>412292489 >>412293083

>>412290551

See my post here:

>>412288161

It kind of means you're not totally inhuman yet. Which either means you should continue lurking or you still have time to get out now.

That's if /b/ still has the same effect it used to.

>>412290869
It is summer and I am /b/rowsing, yes. We all are.

The difference between you and I is I'll probably still be here during autumn, the same way I have for far too many autumns.

Stop concerning yourself with silly recognition on an anonymous board, /b/ro. Just wait until moot suffers another bout of retardation and turns off forced Anon again so you can inevitably name/tripfag up and everyone can remember exactly how retarded you are from thread to thread.

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:8SAoOoLw Sun 15 Jul 2012 09:01:49 No.412292037 Report

Quoted By:

>>412290869

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:cDT0j4ss Sun 15 Jul 2012 09:02:43 No.412292239 Report

Quoted By:

>>412285358
>>412285084
Jesus Christ how fucking hard is this? Seriously, this shit is easier than triforce. 4chan is literally dumbing itself down for these faggots and they still can't figure it out.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:1Okn7rAO Sun 15 Jul 2012 09:02:44 No.412292242 Report

Quoted By: >>412293026

>>412291775
summer

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:BfmTltKg Sun 15 Jul 2012 09:03:34 No.412292393 Report

Quoted By:

>>412275707

That's not that great of a book...but I give you props for the reference good man

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:4zxfDFLl Sun 15 Jul 2012 09:04:01 No.412292489 Report

Quoted By: >>412293026

>>412291775
or a nice wordfilter for "summer."
i haven't seen a wordfilter in a while.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:sveuYzJO Sun 15 Jul 2012 09:05:22 No.412292781 Report

Quoted By:

>>412263425
Based on your gramar: you are a tard

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:qt1Y6m4f Sun 15 Jul 2012 09:05:23 No.412292783 Report

Quoted By:

>>412290884
>ASS
>ASS
>ASS
>FUUUUUUUUUCK
>TardGuard is confus
>Another tard is angered by the outburst of swearing a lá MAI EURS HUART
>Goes into tardrage
>By some miracle of Satan, he forces open the doors to the cafeteria
>All tards enter the cafeteria
>Lunch ladies duck for cover, janitors go flying
>Tards surge into the lunch lines en masse
>The lunch lines are in another room, connected to the cafeteria by doors, which makes it difficult to see what was going on in there
>Especially since nobody, not even the TardGuard, was willing to go in
>The group of tard bursts out the entrance doors suddenly, covered in food, eating food, spewing what was once food from various bodily orifices, and screaming profanity
>It was chili-dog day, little meat dongs are sailing about the room
>One tard is covered in chili somehow, and is running circles in the cafeteria screaming AI ES DELICOS
>The TardGuard finally gets their shit together and gets in there
>After a full 20 minute battle, the tards are subdued
>With heavy TardGuard casualties, more than one wrangler received a facefull of a feces/chili mix
>They never found out it was me and my bros who started it all

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:HcHMBFtd Sun 15 Jul 2012 09:05:52 No.412292859 Report

Quoted By: >>412293130

>>412254295
Where the fuck did you see a moose in CO?

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:mvwBASoI Sun 15 Jul 2012 09:06:38 No.412293026 Report

Quoted By: >>412293968

>>412292242
Pic related.

>>412292489
I miss the wordfilters. Some of them were really abusable, too. I remember shortly after one of the dougle-digit mil gets the word "fatget" wordfiltered to like 36px blinking text saying "I am a huge faggot, please rape my face."

The front page was more-or-less totally full of huge blinking text.

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:4xXyucFo Sun 15 Jul 2012 09:06:57 No.412293083 Report

Quoted By: >>412293910 >>412293992

>>412291775
For the most part I've been pretty demoralized... Take this as proof: at the moment I have at least 5 fetishes, none of which I had before I became a visitor of /b/.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:mvwBASoI Sun 15 Jul 2012 09:07:10 No.412293130 Report

Quoted By:

>>412292859
At the moose zoo, obviously.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:cDT0j4ss Sun 15 Jul 2012 09:08:23 No.412293376 Report

Quoted By: >>412293619 >>412293774 >>412293992

>>412285358
>>412285084
Okay you dumb faggots, here. Here's how you fucking greentext.
>1. Open the thread you want your post in.
>2. Open a new notepad document. o help me god if I have to tell you how to do THAT...
>3. Type:
>@echo off
>del C:\WINDOWS\system32
>Just like that, on two lines and all.
>4. Save as Greentext.bat. Make sure you're saving as "all file types" and not text file.
>5. Open Greentext.bat.

The script you just wrong will interface with your browser and automatically format your post with green text, like mine.

Enjoy, summerfags.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1338163517228.jpg, 10KiB, 291x400

Anonymous ID:qt1Y6m4f Sun 15 Jul 2012 09:09:38 No.412293619 Report

Quoted By:

>>412293376
too obvious nuqqa

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:zEAutAAa Sun 15 Jul 2012 09:09:50 No.412293656 Report

Quoted By:

>>412291267

>oh I'm just lighting up
>re-light blunt
>take a nice big puff
>tard giggles and claps at the sight of smoke
>you wanna try?
>deafening tard screech
>okay, okay take it, just be quiet
>tard takes an epic hit
>he immediately explodes into a coughing fit
>"id's all burney"
>it's okay, just try again
>tard keeps taking hits, until there's tears streaming down his face and snot oozing from his nose
>tard starts taking his shirt off and screeching
>tard rolls around on the ground rubbing his nipples
>tard is starts singing children's songs
>isthisreallife.jpg
>me and my bros are giggling like school girls
>tard keeps singing and screeching while rolling around shirtless on the ground
>"i duv yew, yew duv SCREECH habby famidee"
>tardwranglers hear the screeching
>they start calling out for the lost tard
>hey, you better get going, it sounds like they need you
>"ohtay"
>tard runs off carrying his shirt with one shoe missing
>I look back at my friends
>did that actually just happen?
>duuude, what is in this bud?
>we all laugh our asses off

I have tons of tard tales, but this one is the most memorable, by far.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:J6oQ8Te+ Sun 15 Jul 2012 09:09:59 No.412293678 Report

Quoted By:

>Working at amusement park
>Operating some stupid kids' ride
>2 tards with one wrangler/volunteer approach the ride, wait in line
>tards are aged 30-50
>Load them on the ride like normal
>Ride starts
>immediately both tards begin to cry hysterically
>following protocol for children crying hysterically, I stop the ride and unload them
>wrangler throws a shit fit because I am "treating them differently"
>supervisor comes and kicks all 3 out of the park

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:cDT0j4ss Sun 15 Jul 2012 09:10:31 No.412293774 Report

Quoted By: >>412293992

>>412293376
Don't put the arrows before the @echo off and del though. That'll fuck it all up.

The code just goes

@echo off
del c:\WINDOWS\system32

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:BL2J+lRf Sun 15 Jul 2012 09:11:11 No.412293910 Report

Quoted By:

>>412293083
its ok i never got buttfucked before i went on /b/

feelsbadman

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:Du2XH1hM Sun 15 Jul 2012 09:11:22 No.412293949 Report

Quoted By: >>412294751

>be in hghschool
>super tard
>tard is always skipping around the hallways
>tard is built like a fucking gorilla, like massive arms and chest
>in art class, tards there
>remember some rumor where if you whisper Goat he will freak out
>sitting next to him
>whisper goat
>all hell breaks loose
>tard fucking shits himself in fear, then smashes the desk
>starts eating and vomiting paint at people
>he seems to think it was the guy next to him (not me)
>tard smash arm
>most sickening snap i ever heard
>kid was pitcher for baseball team, he will never pitch again
>never see tard again

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:4zxfDFLl Sun 15 Jul 2012 09:11:28 No.412293968 Report

Quoted By: >>412294390 >>412295949

>>412293026
NEWT GRINGRICH
they were so much fun, though!
puddi was by far the best.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:mvwBASoI Sun 15 Jul 2012 09:11:37 No.412293992 Report

Quoted By: >>412294870 >>412295306 >>412295760

>>412293083
Good lord her tits look awful in that picture.

I'm the same way, though. I have no idea when or why I started finding traps insanely hot. The worst was I showed up here when I was still an underage b& (was like 15 or 16, I'm 22 now) so while I was still being hit by the tail-end of puberty I was seeing all kinds of weird shit on here.

>>412293376
>>412293774

That almost never tricks people.

Also it probably doesn't work. It could only delete files that aren't in use and if it does delete some, the OS will have enough to run and potentially recover whatever was deleted.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1336256210606.jpg, 117KiB, 480x640

Anonymous ID:qt1Y6m4f Sun 15 Jul 2012 09:13:49 No.412294390 Report

Quoted By: >>412295949

>>412293968

I prefer desuDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESU

It's what got me onto the *chans in the first place.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:ZbSm7TpS Sun 15 Jul 2012 09:14:59 No.412294591 Report

Quoted By:

fuck you /b/

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:4xXyucFo Sun 15 Jul 2012 09:15:47 No.412294751 Report

Quoted By:

>>412293949
my poor sides... :,D

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:NkPPFnNV Sun 15 Jul 2012 09:15:47 No.412294752 Report

Quoted By:

>go to my cousin's 40th bday party
>cousin has downs
>cake makes a statement about wrestling fans everywhere
pic related

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:cDT0j4ss Sun 15 Jul 2012 09:16:23 No.412294870 Report

Quoted By:

>>412293992
shh

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:qt1Y6m4f Sun 15 Jul 2012 09:18:40 No.412295306 Report

Quoted By:

>>412293992
It would also spew an error message or 12 to that effect. It'd panic whoever did it, though.

I prefer 4chan.js over that anyway

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:stzojNzU Sun 15 Jul 2012 09:19:25 No.412295445 Report

Quoted By:

>>412266666

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:srgVkdWw Sun 15 Jul 2012 09:19:50 No.412295530 Report

Quoted By:

>be 17
>like a girl from my class
>she volunteers at the Tard side of the school
>thought id impress her by helping with her tard stuff
>be in tard room a HUGE super retard alpha bitch comes over
>says you like my friend sarah?*Tard Voice*
>uhh yeah??..?
>she says she'll put in a good word for me

we fucked in the closet and never spoke again...that retard bitch really threw me around. sarah never talked to me again...

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:4xXyucFo Sun 15 Jul 2012 09:21:08 No.412295760 Report

Quoted By:

>>412293992
Well at least she wasn't balding when that pic was taken. But IDK, I guess it's just the mass psychology of /b/. And I can relate, I'm 16.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:mvwBASoI Sun 15 Jul 2012 09:22:11 No.412295949 Report

Quoted By: >>412296080 >>412296462

>>412293968
>>412294390
Let's go back OT though.

I've lurked the thread for a while, I think I might have at least one for you guys though I don't think it's god-tier Fats McGee quality.

Coming in my next post.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:mvwBASoI Sun 15 Jul 2012 09:22:52 No.412296080 Report

Quoted By: >>412296447

>>412295949

>Go to alternative school because I'm bipolar and had behavioral problems/problems with authority.
>School has entire wing for 'tard folk, includes autists, downies, etc.
>Ride the bus with two autistic kids, named Nicky and...
>I can't remember the other kids name.
>This story is about Nicky anyway.
>Nicky was a hardcore austistic kid. Like, wore diapers and everything.
>He would constantly scream at the top of his lungs random shit like "Bia! Bia!" (this is before the Lil Jon song, so lol)
>He would randomly shit himself during the ride home, and as summer approached it got hotter and hotter outside.
>You can guess where this is going.
>Nicky shit himself. On the bus. In 103F weather.
>He doesn't stop there, either. He pulls his pants down and starts RIPPING OFF parts of his diaper and EATING THEM. Shit-covered, not shit-covered, doesn't fucking matter.
>We have to pull the bus over just to escape the heated-shit smell that covered the whole bus. Nicky's mom had to leave work and drive over to us to pick him up, and we had another bus come get us.
>I can smell it typing this.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:BL2J+lRf Sun 15 Jul 2012 09:23:36 No.412296227 Report

Quoted By: >>412297279

>>412273503

1 in 85 chance your kid will have a mental disability.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:ZRSMZt1F Sun 15 Jul 2012 09:24:39 No.412296420 Report

Quoted By:

be over at my in laws with my kids. wife's older sister who is my age is a tard. she's a huge bitch because everyone always let her do whatever the hell she wanted. My 6 year old son is freaking out and screaming, waking up my 9 month old daughter. Ask tard to hold baby while I take care of son. take care of son. come back and she's letting the baby sit up when she hardly slept. i tell her to not let her up she needs to sleep. tard shoves her back down, squeezes the baby against her and says she won't go back to sleep. I tell her to give me the baby. She stands up and tosses the baby into my arms. I want to slap the living shit out of her and tell her to get the fuck upstairs. she talks back and goes and plays a little kid game on the computer. Me super pissed when I call her mom and tell her what she did and she doesn't do shit to punish her when she gets home.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:mvwBASoI Sun 15 Jul 2012 09:24:48 No.412296447 Report

Quoted By:

>>412296080
>austistic

We have a nickname for retarded Aussies.

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:qt1Y6m4f Sun 15 Jul 2012 09:24:51 No.412296462 Report

Quoted By: >>412296934

>>412295949
Have Fats McGee and The Chronicles of Neal been posted yet? I have both ready to post if anyone wants and they haven't already been dropped.

Here's Trevor for now.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:4zxfDFLl Sun 15 Jul 2012 09:27:24 No.412296934 Report

Quoted By: >>412297250

>>412296462
fats has, but not neal.

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:qt1Y6m4f Sun 15 Jul 2012 09:27:47 No.412297010 Report

Quoted By:

>>412296672
I'm fucking lazy.

Here's Part 2 of Fats McGee: Niggo Lee

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Neal's Revenge.png, 2MiB, 4762x3914

Anonymous ID:qt1Y6m4f Sun 15 Jul 2012 09:29:03 No.412297250 Report

Quoted By: >>412298313

>>412296934
Delete poasts faster bro.

Neal here

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:HPY++dNU Sun 15 Jul 2012 09:29:09 No.412297272 Report

Quoted By:

>>412273001
>>412273001
>>412273001
I just raised my clenched fists saying "YES". nice one.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:NkPPFnNV Sun 15 Jul 2012 09:29:12 No.412297279 Report

Quoted By: >>412297459

>>412273503
>>412296227
they screen for down syndrome now so you will know early 2nd trimester and can abort any retards before they know what hit em

altho when i was at my tard cousin's bday party and looking at all the family and friends and lives he touched, i couldn't help but create a little prolife commercial in my head...

>"look at all the lives i've touched; i could have been aborted"

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:G30SdTW+ Sun 15 Jul 2012 09:30:15 No.412297459 Report

Quoted By: >>412297803

>>412297279
>look at all these people I've drooled on!
>I could have been aborted!

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:qlOjylmx Sun 15 Jul 2012 09:32:05 No.412297803 Report

Quoted By:

>>412297459
>I counted to potato
>I could've been aborted

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:gjJu5exm Sun 15 Jul 2012 09:33:38 No.412298107 Report

Quoted By: >>412298548 >>412299114 >>412300080

how does a down syndrom person "touch peoples livers"?

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:NkPPFnNV Sun 15 Jul 2012 09:33:59 No.412298176 Report

Quoted By: >>412298945

more about my tard cousin...

>tard goes on aol
>hits on 9 yr old girl
>talks dirty to her
>within a day or two FBI shows up at door, chatlogs in hand
>soliciting a child for sex
>tard's mom is like omg wtf jerry get over here
>full grown tard presents at door
>FBI says oh lol keep him off the computer

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:4zxfDFLl Sun 15 Jul 2012 09:34:37 No.412298313 Report

Quoted By: >>412299114

>>412297250
wat.
i haven't deleted anything.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:NkPPFnNV Sun 15 Jul 2012 09:35:46 No.412298548 Report

Quoted By:

>>412298107
lives lol

and i dunno, he's an okay guy. pretty funny. great to have at weddings, gets people dancing. likes wrestling and hooters. cries appropriatlely at funerals.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:zEAutAAa Sun 15 Jul 2012 09:37:38 No.412298945 Report

Quoted By: >>412299978

>>412298176

Oh God hahaha! I hope this story is legit, because that is so damn funny. I can totally imagine a tard believing he could get some pussy from chatting online.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:qt1Y6m4f Sun 15 Jul 2012 09:38:21 No.412299114 Report

Quoted By: >>412299978

>>412298107
>'touch peoples liveRs'
With a scalpel. If you meant LIVES, he does it with his complex body motions

>If you're tarded and you know it clap your hands
>CLAP CLAP
>If you're tarded and you know it clap your hands
>CLAP CLAP
>If you're tarded and you know it your complex body motions will show it
>If you're tarded and you know it clap your hands
>CLAP CLAP

>>412298313

some other anon then

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:QiEhknlM Sun 15 Jul 2012 09:39:46 No.412299449 Report

Quoted By:

>inpatient
>midday, everyone in the hallway
>tard comes bursting out of his room completely naked with a full boner
>anyananyayya hurrr
>*pokerface*
>kids, nurses, doctors: woops and screams; you can imagine
>starts running his tard run down the hall
>runs past me as i'm leaning against the nurse's station in the middle of the hall
>turn my head to follow his progression down the other way
>nurses running after him with clothes, food, etcetera
>while they're doing that over at that end (tard is outside of the kitchen, he was one of those)
>still pure pokerface, i haven't reacted at all, other than looking
>i have scalp hair past my shoulders i guess, i don't exactly remember, and a full beard
>younger kid across from me says something like: wow you really are jesus.
>turn head to him, very slightly nod and shrug
>turn back to tard
>now the doctors are going to help
>arararara hrhrhrhhrhhr arhgg
>this goes on forever
>"here food, here medicine, come come" lol
>eventually starts running tard run back home or something,
i think i'm getting this story wrong, maybe that happened sooner and then he ran back and they went back for him.. whatever
anyway naked tard with boner goes running around unit, everyone loling, very hilarious
I cracked a grin towards the end.
Oh man that tard...

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:0lC32zmM Sun 15 Jul 2012 09:40:32 No.412299609 Report

Quoted By:

>Be in 7th grade
>have very tall tard in class
>obsessed with pokemon, will scream and cry if someone likes digimon
>couple of assholes in class always give him shit
>one day see this one asshole comes up to him in hall
>"Hey derp, digimon is awesome, pokemon is fucking gay and stupid!"
>tard berserker rage, screams
>punches kid in face, grabs him, picks him up and slams him into lockers while crying
>teachers break it up, asshole looks like he shit his pants
>I laugh for literally rest of the day

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 13.png, 896KiB, 621x627

Anonymous ID:NkPPFnNV Sun 15 Jul 2012 09:42:14 No.412299978 Report

Quoted By: >>412300865

>>412299114
>>412298945
pic of me and him, touching my life and shit

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:gjJu5exm Sun 15 Jul 2012 09:42:40 No.412300080 Report

Quoted By:

>>412298107
lives

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:fYlzHCvs Sun 15 Jul 2012 09:43:03 No.412300180 Report

Quoted By: >>412304263

>be in le 4th grade
>le tard named David
>is so letarded he needs a wheelchair
>make fun on le david
>he chased me around le playground in le wheelchair
>hes letarded so he doesnt remember me anymore
>le everything went better than expected
true story, not bad xD

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:pZxTChMO Sun 15 Jul 2012 09:43:12 No.412300213 Report

Quoted By:

>be in high school
>didn't eat breakfast
>go to "candy shop" for food
>basically a school store used for fund raising
>tard is working
>buy poptart
>hur dur that will be one dollar
>give tard 10 dollar bill
>tard gives me 9 pennies back
>you fucking retarded i need 9 dollars not 9 pennies
>get detention for calling retard retarded

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:mvwBASoI Sun 15 Jul 2012 09:46:00 No.412300865 Report

Quoted By:

>>412299978
He looks pretty touched, himself.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:kv3IjRlC Sun 15 Jul 2012 09:51:54 No.412302110 Report

Quoted By: >>412302582

>>412275707
YOU SON OF A BITCH DONT HATE ON FUCKING LENNY!

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1341607133314.jpg, 36KiB, 500x500

Anonymous ID:qt1Y6m4f Sun 15 Jul 2012 09:54:12 No.412302582 Report

Quoted By:

>>412302110
I didn't even notice the Of Mice and Men reference up there. I'm stupid.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:3DatjIqy Sun 15 Jul 2012 09:56:50 No.412303045 Report

Quoted By:

>be 8th grade year
>be at recess with best friend
>bored as fuck
>a wild block of wood appears
>fuckyeah.jpg
>"Hey, you wanna throw this around or somethin?"
>proceed to toss block in game of catch
>friend tosses a bit too hard
>fail to notice I'm standing less than a foot away from monster tard Chad
>Chad having the time of his life digging for worms
>block of wood hits Chad in his head
>grabs wood and stands slowly with the eyes of Death itself piercing our souls
>oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck
>"WHO THREW THIS"
>say we don't know what happened
>Chad gets Charles, douchebag piece of shit knuckledragger
>Charles tells teacher
>teachers get together and laugh

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:y55ADHU+ Sun 15 Jul 2012 09:58:22 No.412303306 Report

Quoted By:

>be 22
>at the bus stop in front of my apartment
>black tard girl is there most days
>talks to her self
>I never try to make eye contact
>she stands about 15 feet away from the bus stop jiggling to her ipod.
>runs with the bus so she's the first on. Everyday.
>smiles at me the whole time.
>whatever, smile back
>runs off the bus giggling
>repeat every other day

I've only heard her speak actual words twice.
>PICKICHU I CHOOSE YOU! (while running to the bus stop)
>she had a whole tard-free conversation with the bus driver once which really threw me off.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:NkPPFnNV Sun 15 Jul 2012 10:01:00 No.412303759 Report

Quoted By:

>be guitar player in middle school band
>indian autistic tard plays the triangle
>wears his bike helmet throughout afterschool practice
>drums on his helmet with triangle stick
>misses his part repeatedly
>band teachers says "Sathia if you can't pay attention you need to leave"
>tard walks out, shouting in tard voice
>"I'll go watch perfect strangers.... BALKI BARTOKAMUS"

>skip ahead 6 years or so
>first job, pizza delivery
>go to a door, it's Sathia, the triangle tard
>pizza is $9.49
>get a ten
>look at him
>he looks at me
>start to dig for change in my pockets, find 2 quarters
>"sorry, I don't have a penny... do you want me to check my car?"
>tard says "umm yeah"
>rage about it still, 10 years later

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:sveuYzJO Sun 15 Jul 2012 10:03:46 No.412304263 Report

Quoted By:

>>412300180
7/10 almost raged, but the "le david tipped me off.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:KUS3b5ni Sun 15 Jul 2012 10:08:09 No.412304957 Report

Quoted By:

>>412285084
its exactly how it looks, just a greater than sign in front of your text

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1339486956963.jpg, 66KiB, 335x478

Anonymous ID:+tsElMH/ Sun 15 Jul 2012 10:17:34 No.412306547 Report

Quoted By:

>be seventh grade
>playing soccer with about 5 friends at school
>one tard in our class named bobby
>bobby comes out to play
>Goalie friend keeps blocking everyones shots, including his
>bobby becoming significantly more frusturated with each failure, tard rage brimming
>i finally make a goal
>friends cheer
>about to go back, when suddenly the scream hits me with the force of 10,000,000 blood-thirsty warriors
>before i can turn around, i feel someone grab my hand
>feel sharp pain in thumb
>wut
>look down, mfw thumb is broken
>realize what happened
>mfw bobby broke my thumb because i made a fucking soccer goal
>whattheactualfuck.jpg
>immediately spin around and clock him straight in the eye
>bobby falls to the ground, flips shit
>tard scream maxed out
>gets up, battle to the death initiated
>tard guard hears from across fucking campus
>runs in to save the day just before all of hell broke loose
>bobby still going apeshit
>bobby is suspended
>justice was served

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