Alright /b/ I’m 20 and I can't stand my huge fucking penis anymore.

I remember that when I was a kid, my mom used to show my knob to her friends.
She never touched me, but I have never been able to fully trust her, or anyone.
I’m not even talking about my sister. She was always awkwardly trying to physically reach my penis when we played together and it made me really uncomfortable with any physical contact.

When I reached puberty, things got out of hand, I became seriously self-conscious about my dick and I blamed him for all my problems.

I was afraid of fapping, afraid of peeing, afraid of sports, afraid of trying new clothes… Swimming pools and beaches were out of the question. Imagine yourself being constantly afraid to death of getting an erection. Not simply because somebody could see it but because it fucking hurts in a pair of jeans.

I always tried to hide it but it’s impossible, everybody starts to notice it at some point and they make fun of it like it’s not a big deal, well fuck them, it is a very big deal. My face is ugly, average at best but girls always hit on me, they don’t even care about my personality, they just want my dick. I have tried doing it with a lot of girls but it’s always the same, I can’t go full in without hurting them so I can’t get any pleasure, I get bored and they get bored too so they eventually leave me.

I wish I could meet a person who would care about me and not only sex, but girls are all the same. I recently met an older woman, I really thought she was different, I felt like she understood me, but she was a fucking porn director who wanted me to play in one of her videos.
I’ve had enough, I can’t live with it anymore.
My ultimate dream is to cut this fucking thing off of me. I wish I was obese instead or something that I could fix.
I’m not showing off or anything, I’m just hopeless and I wish someone here will understand me.
Sorry if my English is bad, I’m French.