>>4410057(continued)
When she got better, she got a job and when she could she worked nightshifts while I stayed with neighbours, because she wanted to extra money to get my school uniform, new shoes etc, she was really selfless. Then she had a stroke when I was 10 and can't work now. It wasn't bad, she can still talk and move fine, but the doctor says she shouldn't risk it.
I have another brother, and him and the other brother bang on our front door every so often, usually holidays, xmas, easter, shouting about how useless my mum is. They've also slandered mum, told the rest of the family awful lies, so we've only got a very few relatives to turn to.
I'm not bad now, but sometimes I think too much, I realise that I can't talk to people when I feel down. I know my mum would listen, but I don't want to drag her down, it's not fair after everything she does, and has done, for me.
Sometimes, I think I just need to invest in a big huge teddy bear for hugging and stress relief. I know that there are people that go through much worse shit, that would make my crap look like a drop of ink next to an oil spill, but still...
I just want to say I love you seagulls, in all your crazyness and glory, for listening to even crazier, and possibly stupid stuff.
Now for some strong, sweet tea.
(sorry for slowness btw.)