Hi, /ck/.

So this year I'm living with seven other girls, and my housemates are all complete sorority bitches who can barely piece together a coherent conversation between the seven of them. I bake a lot, and everything I make vanishes overnight. This is starting to piss me off, because I'd actually like the chance to eat some of the things that I make. The plum cobbler I put together yesterday lasted less than an hour. Also, the retarded 'vegan' bitch keeps stealing my butter instead of using one of the three tubs of margarine they have stuffed into the freezer. There's more shit that they do (like having sex in other people's rooms, or refusing to clean up after themselves. There are dishes that have been sitting in the dishwasher for two fucking weeks. It's gotten so bad that I've started hiding my bowls and plates in my room so that I can have dishes to eat off of.) But basically, what it all boils down to is that I want to exact justice.

So here's the plan. I'm going to keep baking for them. And here is where you come in, /ck/. I need your most calorie-laden recipes. Your most decadent cupcakes, muffins, breads, crisps, custards...whatever you can offer. If none of them can squeeze into their skinny jeans by the end of the month, I will consider my vengeance complete.

Tomorrow I'm making pancakes. Calorie-dense toppings and tips on how to fatten up the mix are welcome, but please don't limit yourselves.