/ck/ - Food & Cooking » Thread #2768521

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ITT: retards that can't cook.

Anonymous Tue 26 Apr 2011 22:17:00 No.2768521 View View Reply Original Report

>Roommate only eats frozen microwave meals
>One day decides to cook a steak
>He puts steak in boiling water
>"woah woah what the fuck are you doing?"
>"fuck off"
>takes steak out after 10 minutes
>sticks on a frying pan
>"What in the fuck are you doing now?"
>"Making it crispy"
>He cooks it until it's black
>mfw

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 26 Apr 2011 22:22:00 No.2768526 Report

Quoted By: >>2768558

you sound like an annoying faggot that likes to watch people cooking from over their shoulders and tell them they're doing everything wrong

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 26 Apr 2011 22:22:00 No.2768527 Report

Quoted By: >>2768558

that's a different way to cook a steak. did he put any spices in the water with the steak?

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 26 Apr 2011 22:34:00 No.2768558 Report

Quoted By: >>2768595

>>2768526
>>2768527
>implying that faggot didn't ruin it

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 26 Apr 2011 22:36:00 No.2768564 Report

Quoted By:

>>2768521
OP is a faggot that doesn't know that boiled steak is a legit steak cooking technique. Google it.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 26 Apr 2011 22:40:00 No.2768568 Report

Quoted By:

Get over yourself, fag.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Tue 26 Apr 2011 22:55:00 No.2768580 Report

Quoted By: >>2768626 >>2768630 >>2771116

>not recognising when a chef is preparing steak l'eau

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 26 Apr 2011 22:59:00 No.2768588 Report

Quoted By:

Probably saw a method to bRoil a steak and though it was boil.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 26 Apr 2011 23:08:00 No.2768595 Report

Quoted By:

>>2768558
>implying you aren't a faggot that gets upset at how people cook

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 26 Apr 2011 23:19:00 No.2768608 Report

Quoted By: >>2768889 >>2768913

Wow, what happened to the
>he cooks his steak for more than 35.6 seconds on each side

/ck/ that I used to know?

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 26 Apr 2011 23:20:00 No.2768615 Report

Quoted By:

Your roomate is an idiot.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Tue 26 Apr 2011 23:30:00 No.2768626 Report

Quoted By: >>2768632

>>2768580
>>>not recognising when a chef is preparing steak l'eau
>>>not recognising
>>>recognising

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 26 Apr 2011 23:31:00 No.2768629 Report

Quoted By: >>2768631

You know, steaks are really overrated

They're tasty and all but whatever

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 26 Apr 2011 23:31:00 No.2768630 Report

Quoted By: >>2768801

>>2768580
Google finds nothing about " steak l'eau".
Also learn to spell like the other anon pointed out.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 26 Apr 2011 23:31:00 No.2768631 Report

Quoted By: >>2768634

>>2768629
...

You're a fucking faggot.

Chbosky !GxqZhYcGx.

Chbosky !GxqZhYcGx. Tue 26 Apr 2011 23:32:00 No.2768632 Report

Quoted By: >>2768637

>>2768626
>implying the world is american...

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 26 Apr 2011 23:35:00 No.2768634 Report

Quoted By: >>2768638

>>2768631
I've eaten steaks like every week of every summer

I'm just fucking sick of them.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Tue 26 Apr 2011 23:36:00 No.2768637 Report

Quoted By: >>2768889 >>2768919

>>2768632
Implying only Americans post Bush disappoint.
Not from U.S.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 26 Apr 2011 23:37:00 No.2768638 Report

Quoted By: >>2768641

>>2768634
You have never had a properly prepared steak. It's easy!

1. Let steak warm up to room temp ( leave it on the counter for 3 hours or so before cooking)

2. Sear that motherfucker

3. Done.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Tue 26 Apr 2011 23:37:00 No.2768639 Report

Quoted By: >>2768643 >>2768646 >>2768667

>mfw when an amerifat tries to steal the english language near me

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 26 Apr 2011 23:37:00 No.2768641 Report

Quoted By:

>>2768638
Fuck off you stupid fucking moron.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 26 Apr 2011 23:38:00 No.2768643 Report

Quoted By: >>2768650

>>2768639
WTF are you babbling about?
God, can we get back to talking about steak?!

Anonymous

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Anonymous Tue 26 Apr 2011 23:39:00 No.2768646 Report

Quoted By: >>2768683 >>2768708

>>2768639
>mfw i moved out of europe to america because europe was shit

Anonymous

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Anonymous Tue 26 Apr 2011 23:41:00 No.2768650 Report

Quoted By:

>>2768643

i just recognise correct english when i see it.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 26 Apr 2011 23:48:00 No.2768667 Report

Quoted By:

>>2768639
>mfw when an amerifat tries to steal the english language near me
>steal the english language
what in the fuck are you even saying?

Anonymous

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Anonymous Tue 26 Apr 2011 23:56:00 No.2768683 Report

Quoted By: >>2768692 >>2768706 >>2768811

>>2768646
Do you REALLY think that live is better in USA than in Europe?
Holy fuck, did somebody bully you at school? Did your parents beat you? And did you finished ANY studies?
USA is turning into natzi camp

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 26 Apr 2011 23:59:00 No.2768692 Report

Quoted By: >>2768703

>>2768683
Ok to be fair I moved out of Poland

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 00:02:00 No.2768703 Report

Quoted By:

>>2768692
NO KURWA wiedzialem. Skonczyles jakies studia czy po zawodowce wyjechales do jankesow?
I jak ty sie tam dostales? Przez granice z Meksykiem?
I daj spokoj. W jebanych Czechach jest lepiej niz w polaczkolandii

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 00:03:00 No.2768706 Report

Quoted By: >>2768713

>>2768683
Actually its a well established fact. Just ask all the American refugees that immigrate to Europe.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 00:03:00 No.2768708 Report

Quoted By:

>>2768646
>>2768646
>>2768646
you just went full retard. should have moved to canada.

fuck america. i should know. i live in the shittiest state of america, australia.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 00:04:00 No.2768713 Report

Quoted By:

>>2768706
Europe is doing the same thing, but right now- I rather live here than in USA

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 00:05:00 No.2768716 Report

Quoted By:

id rather live in your moms house than in europe

Anonymous

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Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 00:06:00 No.2768718 Report

Quoted By:

>i live in the shittiest state of america, australia.
>state of america
>australia
You are a 100% american.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 00:16:00 No.2768739 Report

Quoted By: >>2768754 >>2768767

What the fuck /ck/?

Seriously is everyone on this board fucking bi-polar and riddled with ADHD?

OP comes to a board about cooking, to talk about cooking and half the posts are people losing their nut over spelling and country of origin.

I wouldn't mind so much but this shit, exactly this shit, right down to the insults and the break down of how it unfolds seems to happen all a the fucking time.

Yes I mad, can we talk about some fucking steak now!?

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 00:24:00 No.2768754 Report

Quoted By: >>2768759

>>2768739
No

Also a eurofag started it.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 00:26:00 No.2768759 Report

Quoted By: >>2768764

>>2768754
And Obama should be reelected!

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 00:27:00 No.2768764 Report

Quoted By: >>2768767 >>2768775

>>2768759
>implying he shouldn't
>or isn't going to be

seriously have you seen the republicans and who they're trying to push forward
thankfully they're a fucking minority

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 00:28:00 No.2768767 Report

Quoted By: >>2768771 >>2768774

>>2768739
>get annoyed by whiny off-topic meta posts
>make whiny off-topic meta post

lol at the amount of failure in this thread
>>2768764
yeah, he's done such a great job

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 00:29:00 No.2768771 Report

Quoted By: >>2768773 >>2768784

>>2768767
dude theyre fucking presidents
there hasnt been a president that did a good job since f. roosevelt

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 00:31:00 No.2768773 Report

Quoted By:

>>2768771
Change that to G. Washington and you're on to something.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 00:31:00 No.2768774 Report

Quoted By:

>>2768767
>Continues to talk politics on a cooking board

Your doing it wrong.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 00:31:00 No.2768775 Report

Quoted By: >>2768779

>>2768764
>implying that republicans and democrats are not both controled by corporatins and other big, rich "fish"
>implying that central political parties must be created or USA wont survive next 50 years

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 00:32:00 No.2768779 Report

Quoted By:

>>2768775
hey amerifats how about we all get together and fucking overthrow the government
you all have guns

Anonymous

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Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 00:33:00 No.2768784 Report

Quoted By: >>2768802

>>2768771
How about Kennedy? Didnt he do some shit with the banks which was VERY GOOD for the people and country, but very bad for banks?
He got shot like few days after doing it ( he sign some paper )

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 00:42:00 No.2768801 Report

Quoted By:

>>2768630

Because it's made up. Translates to water steak.

Does it hurt being that stupid?

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 00:43:00 No.2768802 Report

Quoted By: >>2768881

>>2768784
Clinton. He undid all of the economic damage of the previous three republican presidencies in two terms, but he's going do in history as a fat, hick chubby chaser.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 00:47:00 No.2768811 Report

Quoted By:

>>2768683
Fuck I am at work and can't save this face :(

Anonymous

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Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 00:49:00 No.2768816 Report

Quoted By: >>2768821

>At friends house chilling and playing vidya
>He says hes hungry and asks if I want a grilled cheese sandwich.
>I say fuck yeah because i love grilled cheese
>He takes 2 pieces of bread with a slice of yellow american cheese and throws it in the microwave
>My face

Anonymous

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Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 00:52:00 No.2768821 Report

Quoted By: >>2768826

>>2768816
What part of that is even grilled?!

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 00:54:00 No.2768824 Report

Quoted By:

I once cooked a steak in a toaster oven cranked up to 500f.

It
was actually delicious.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 00:56:00 No.2768826 Report

Quoted By:

>>2768821
Hence my face,

No butter
No pan
Shitty yellow square cheese

It was fucking sad, i didnt eat it and went to Wendys after.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 01:16:00 No.2768854 Report

Quoted By: >>2768926

Awesome.
Steak------->----------USA and Europe--------->--------Politics

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 01:28:00 No.2768881 Report

Quoted By:

>>2768802
What about this Kennedy thing?
And what Clinton did exactly?
If you belive that american "free market" economic system is the best, then you are wrong.

And I think that steak should be fried till its black. I hate eating raw shit.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 01:36:00 No.2768889 Report

Quoted By:

>>2768637
He was talking about how you think "recognising" was misspelled because you're American and spell it as "recognizing".

>>2768608
We're still here, it's just that now we're greatly diluted by summer /ck/. It will pass. In the meantime, consider taking a break away from here. I know I am.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 01:54:00 No.2768913 Report

Quoted By:

>>2768608

This thread is doubly disappointing because we can get some not-terrible trolls here that at the very least keep to their cooking-related premise as the posts accumulate in their threads.

America and Europe are both terrible, because people are terrible. Each offers up some good food, though, maybe we ought do a dish-to-dish comparison of that?

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 01:59:00 No.2768919 Report

Quoted By:

>>2768637
Yes but only Americans spell recognising the wrong way.

Anonymous

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What's for Dinner?

Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 01:59:00 No.2768920 Report

Quoted By: >>2768971

I'm marinating some flank steak to make some tacos tonight.
What are your plans for dinner?

Anonymous

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Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 02:02:00 No.2768926 Report

Quoted By: >>2768947

>>2768854
And now onto JFK conspiracies...

Anonymous

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Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 02:11:00 No.2768947 Report

Quoted By: >>2768955

>>2768926

my mom believes the government killed jfk.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 02:14:00 No.2768955 Report

Quoted By:

>>2768947
>watermarking a screen shot of a 4chan post

Anonymous

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Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 02:19:00 No.2768971 Report

Quoted By:

>>2768920

Last night I made a lentil-cauliflower curry and vegetable biryani, so tonight will be finishing those off along with some lime pickle. If I don't get too lazy, probably ought also start a pasta sauce of some sort for tomorrow.

Also, on OP's subject, I once had a roomate who boiled onions... just chopped a whole onion up, maybe big chunks of potato or carrot, covered in water and boiled until the onions got soft. Sometimes there would be a dash of soy sauce in the water, but nothing else, and the finished mixture would be poured over rice or eaten on its own.
He didn't have terrible taste, he's got a better palate for cheese than I do by far and enjoyed eating good food, but I could never convince him that he could change his cooking to make it taste better. Kept yelling at him 'use some oil and just fry that crap a bit, caramelized onions are fantastic, and its not any greater effort than your abomination!'

Anonymous

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Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 02:29:00 No.2768997 Report

Quoted By: >>2769094 >>2769099 >>2769114

okay guys lets get back on topic. watch this and calm down
http://vimeo.com/11712103

>had stupid WT roomate who thinks she is high class
>I tell her I will bake her whatever she wants for her birthday
>she wants lemon meringue pie
>she walks in on me preparing it
>"what are you doing with those eggs?"
>"making meringue"
>"but i want the other meringue. that's disgusting it's raw eggs!"
>she didn't know what meringue was made out of, and wouldnt eat the pie after it cooked
>she still insists that I dont know what "real meringue" is

Anonymous

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Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 03:08:00 No.2769094 Report

Quoted By:

>>2768997
Pic related, its what you have to tell your housemate.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 03:10:00 No.2769099 Report

Quoted By: >>2769131

>>2768997
Jeez how did she react when you told her there was egg in every fucking part of the pie?

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 03:17:00 No.2769114 Report

Quoted By: >>2769131

>>2768997
Did you have no internet or something? Why not make her show it to you?

Or rather, show her?

Anonymous

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Anonymous Wed 27 Apr 2011 03:25:00 No.2769131 Report

Quoted By:

>>2769099
>>2769114

I think she must have always thought the meringue was made out of cool whip or something.
Since the meringue is still kind of soft she said the eggs were raw and must be unsafe to eat.
No matter how much I tried to explain she just looked at me like I was retarded.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 28 Apr 2011 03:57:00 No.2771070 Report

Quoted By:

Anonymous

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Anonymous Thu 28 Apr 2011 04:15:00 No.2771090 Report

Quoted By: >>2771113

>Sign In to /ck/
>see a recipe thread for boiled steak
>scrolling through some decent recipes
>realize nobody can spell
>mfw I pay money just to be surrounded by illiterates

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 28 Apr 2011 04:19:00 No.2771099 Report

Quoted By: >>2771111

>I make a bunch of pancakes.
>Roommate wants me to teach him how to cook.
>I let him make one pancake.
>Using the same temperature pan as I did, he manages to end up with a pancake that is charcoal black on the outside and completely liquid on the inside.

2 Years later, same guy

>Offers to make instant mashed potatoes to go with the meatloaf I made.
>Eh. Why not? We had no potatoes in the house and instant mashed potatoes couldn't possibly be THAT horrible, right?
>Texture and density of wet cement.

How, roommate? How do you do this?

Anonymous

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Anonymous Thu 28 Apr 2011 04:22:00 No.2771110 Report

Quoted By:

>Roommate claims to be good at cooking Italian food since his family is Italian on his mother's side
>Going to make Vermicelli
>mfw his vermicelli is just noodles slathered in margarine and is probably the saltiest thing I've ever tasted
>mfw also he substitutes garlic salt when a recipe calls for garlic

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 28 Apr 2011 04:22:00 No.2771111 Report

Quoted By:

>>2771099
the secret to the texture is

>jizz

Anonymous

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Anonymous Thu 28 Apr 2011 04:23:00 No.2771113 Report

Quoted By: >>2771120

>>2771090
>Sign In to /ck/
Wat

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 28 Apr 2011 04:24:00 No.2771116 Report

Quoted By:

>>2768580
Cuire un steak à l'eau est un crime!

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 28 Apr 2011 04:27:00 No.2771120 Report

Quoted By:

>>2771113
you got me! should have expected it since everyone's arguing over spelling.
for all my home dogs abroad:

>Log on

fix'd

Anonymous

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Anonymous Fri 29 Apr 2011 04:42:00 No.2772383 Report

Quoted By:

This thread had potential, but it skewed off topic and now seems to have died.
Bumping for interest.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 29 Apr 2011 05:32:00 No.2772457 Report

Quoted By:

The other day I saw my roommate boiling a steak, so I went on the internet to complain about how he cooks his food, and then everyone got mad and it devolved into a political/ national identity thread.

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ITT: retards that can't cook.