Scottish gentleman, frequentor of /b, reporting.

I don't know how you homosexuals run things around here; I have a proposition nonetheless.

Having moved to England, I miss my favourite food (fish and chips) from The Alhambra Cafe in Bellshill, North Lanarkshire, Scotland. (I know this is a simple, common food; I'm a simple, common man and it fits my taste-buds perfectly)

It's a simple chip-shop, nothing fancy.

My proposition is that I will pay anyone who can determine the methods/ ingredients used by the Alhambra to make their fish & chips so that I can recreate the dish, as closely as possible, at home in England.

To demonstrate good faith, I will deposit (bank account, Pay Pal, whatever) £20 to any person who can show they live nearby the cafe and are willing to undertake this work for me.

I will pay additional £20s to the same person as many times as they need to visit the cafe for additional portions (so, free fish & chips throughout). It costs around £6 per portion, so you profit by £14 each time.

Finally, if the method is determined to my satisfaction, I will pay my kind asistant £200.