Hey y'all, I'm Dave. I'm the World's Greatest Chef. It says so right on my apron!

Today we're going to make Spaghetti Carbonara. There's a few secrets which I will outline below. Ignore what they do in Italy because, as I see it, any fool can cook. What's there to know, amirite???

First, all the ingredients should come from Kraft or Great Value. That's very important for this dish.

Second, you should use cast iron and crowd it with pasta. This helps to burn it in a way that will bring out the flavor.

Third, stir it as often as possible. This will release the starch in the pasta and turn it into a gummy mess.

Any questions /ck/?

Here's a video demonstrating my technique: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fOowiSlSY_8