/co/ - Comics & Cartoons » Thread #1248840

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Repent Sinners, Or I'll Frag Ya!

Anonymous Fri 13 Jul 2007 01:36:00 No.1248840 View View Reply Original Report

Quoted By:

Alright you filthy bunch of maggots, the holy Archbishop Lobo here. In this fragging thread we will create the bible of /co/. Anyone of ya sinners objects, I'll frag the little bastich to purgatory! Let's get cracking:

Da Book of Genesis:

1:1 - In the beginning, the Holy Retcon punch created Earth and the multiverse.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 Jul 2007 01:38:00 No.1248855 Report

Quoted By:

1:2 - stan fucked jack kirbys wife

Sage Freehaven !yw6CUBo.Jc

Sage Freehaven !yw6CUBo.Jc Fri 13 Jul 2007 01:38:00 No.1248856 Report

Quoted By:

1:2 - See 1:1

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 Jul 2007 01:40:00 No.1248869 Report

Quoted By:

1:7 - That's how many issues will have the next Marvel's "mega" cross-over event.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 Jul 2007 01:42:00 No.1248879 Report

Quoted By:

1:1 - In the beginning, the Holy Retcon punch created Earth and the multiverse.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Fri 13 Jul 2007 01:45:00 No.1248894 Report

Quoted By: >>1248936

1:1:1 Lol I am Jesus.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Fri 13 Jul 2007 01:52:00 No.1248934 Report

Quoted By:

2:16 Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning. And thus, on the morning of Kitty's sweet 16th birthday, Wolverine popper her cherry.

Pharoah Ashseti

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Pharoah Ashseti Fri 13 Jul 2007 01:52:00 No.1248935 Report

Quoted By:

1:9

And Lo, Cap Was right.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 Jul 2007 01:52:00 No.1248936 Report

Quoted By: >>1248962 >>1248976

>>1248894
If Cable was Jesus....

wouldn't that make Cyclops God?

Anonymous

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Anonymous Fri 13 Jul 2007 01:54:00 No.1248956 Report

Quoted By:

1:0 hes in everything

Supra Nigra !!jvCuWJ8NrnK

Supra Nigra !!jvCuWJ8NrnK Fri 13 Jul 2007 01:55:00 No.1248962 Report

Quoted By:

>>1248936

And could X-Man be considered the Holy spirit?

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 Jul 2007 01:57:00 No.1248976 Report

Quoted By:

>>1248936
Cyclops would be Joseph.
The Phoenix Force is God.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Fri 13 Jul 2007 01:57:00 No.1248977 Report

Quoted By:

1:48 On the 8th day, Superman got drunk.

Nameless !2JF1umrU16

Nameless !2JF1umrU16 Fri 13 Jul 2007 02:00:00 No.1249006 Report

Quoted By:

5:23 - And, after many days and nights toiling, they realised the whole thing was actually a meta-critique by Grant Morrison on the nature of reality.

5:24 - And lo, they were pissed off in a way that He was doing the exact same thing as always, but it was all really rather good, so they decided to let it slide

5:25 - And, up in His Holy Tower of Win, Grant set about the next Book, a sequel to the original. But this time, He would add something New to the tale.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 Jul 2007 02:17:00 No.1249135 Report

Quoted By:

6:64 - There was a vote. Decision of the greatest magnitude was made. The first seeds of doom were planted. Plans were drawn, a space rocker was built.

6:65 - And lo, they lured the green giant to the rocket, and shot him off to space, never to return. Peace on Earth, at last. Or so it seemed.

6:66 - Days became weeks, and all was well. Until the day when ship came to the moon. The King Who Seldom Spoke, was the first to fall. The incredible Hulk was back. And we were officially fucked.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 Jul 2007 02:44:00 No.1249305 Report

Quoted By: >>1249347

7:16 Alan Moore arose mysteriously from a burning elderberry bush, and thus, the world became a bit more strange.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 Jul 2007 02:48:00 No.1249340 Report

Quoted By: >>1249347

8:12 But lo, Alan was quelled by his greatest enemy, A Barber.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 Jul 2007 02:50:00 No.1249347 Report

Quoted By:

>>1249305
>>1249340

I lol'd

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 Jul 2007 02:56:00 No.1249395 Report

Quoted By:

23:14 No one, man nor woman, shall lie down with Winnick, for you will be struck down with the AIDS.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 Jul 2007 03:00:00 No.1249443 Report

Quoted By:

11:15 And it came to pass in those times, that the man of Iron and the American captain appeared before the king, with a dispute over freedom. And lo, the king said, "I shall resolve this conflict. I shall cut freedom in two, and thereafter each one of thee shall have a piece."

11:16 And the man of Iron thought upon this and said "that seems reasonable. A little freedom is better than too much freedom. Throw in some of thine finest barely-wine and thou hast a deal."

11:17 And the Captain, upon hearing these words, said "Art thou fucking crazy? Freedom is an absolute! You either have it or you don't! This man is an abomination unto the Lord!"

11:18 And the king said "verily, it has been shown that the Captain loveth freedom more, therefore he should have it. But my sages report that the captain is not a fan of the Youtube, and this disqualifies him from heroism. I guess you'll just have to fight over it."

11:19 And lo, there was a really, really, really long fight. And the captain was slain, and so they made a coffin for him of three cubits, and placed it in the ice, where the speedo man with the Peter Pan ears vowed to take care of it. And lo, the man of Iron got totally wasted.

11:20 Also the Hulk is pissed off at everyone.

Nameless !2JF1umrU16

Nameless !2JF1umrU16 Fri 13 Jul 2007 03:10:00 No.1249539 Report

Quoted By: >>1250599

13:18 - Here is wisdom. Let him that hath understanding count the number of pouches of the beast: for it is the number of a man; and his number is Six hundred threescore and six.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Fri 13 Jul 2007 03:23:00 No.1249650 Report

Quoted By:

13:42 And Xavier said unto them, It is written, My mansion shall be called the house of mutants; but ye, the Sentinel Squad O*N*E, have made it a camp of Prisoners of War.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 Jul 2007 03:25:00 No.1249669 Report

Quoted By:

16:20 And the Grant Morrison proclaimed himself Most Mighty until his neighbor sprayed Round-Up all over Grant's sinsemilla.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 Jul 2007 03:32:00 No.1249717 Report

Quoted By:

17:40 and thus there were to be no more Nazi as long as the man that was metal and fire unto itself marked the skies with his fiery trail.

Kosh

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Kosh Fri 13 Jul 2007 03:34:00 No.1249734 Report

Quoted By:

We're all fucked when the Pope gets back.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 Jul 2007 03:36:00 No.1249748 Report

Quoted By:

9:6 And lo, the mad harlot in scarlet said the words: "There shant be no more mutants."

Anonymous

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Anonymous Fri 13 Jul 2007 03:39:00 No.1249772 Report

Quoted By: >>1250137

20:1 - And behold, a great light shone upon /co/ and a new leader emerged to lead them into the day.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 Jul 2007 03:42:00 No.1249796 Report

Quoted By:

6:25: And lo, unanimously did the masses damn and condemn the sage Freehaven for his unholy deeds.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Fri 13 Jul 2007 03:54:00 No.1249876 Report

Quoted By:

4:19 - The one weakness of the unbreakable man was revealed to be simple lead projectiles.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 Jul 2007 03:55:00 No.1249882 Report

Quoted By:

The Second Book of Damnation, chapter 2

5 Thus, as he was mighty in stature, lo, it was clear that his viscera would also be bountiful.

6 "Hark! Hark, for I deliver unto thee the Chariot of Night" he cried.

7 "Choo choo cha boogie! Choo choo cha... choo ch... choo cha... oh my."

Anonymous

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Anonymous Fri 13 Jul 2007 04:00:00 No.1249908 Report

Quoted By:

66:6 - The great destroyer was soundly defeated with SCIENCE.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 Jul 2007 04:01:00 No.1249916 Report

Quoted By:

From the book of Kal-El

16:14 And so Lex Luthor did steal forty cakes, which he normally could afford, being so rich. And it was terrible.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Fri 13 Jul 2007 04:02:00 No.1249923 Report

Quoted By:

10:10 - "Bring me beverages of merriness, for I am sober. An unpleasant experience for one such as I"

Anonymous

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Anonymous Fri 13 Jul 2007 04:08:00 No.1249962 Report

Quoted By:

7:11 - The mad jester doth wield a crowbar with proficiency and armour of the plot that would destroy any mortal who dare look upon him.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 Jul 2007 04:08:00 No.1249965 Report

Quoted By:

17:20 And Lo, Green Lantern ascended from the heavens, and rescued a group of children from a collpasing building.

17:21 And one of the children said unto him, "Green Lantern, you have my thanks."

17:22 And Green Lantern replied, "Dammit, kid, the name's Booster."

17:23 And so it was written that the Green Lantern's secret identity is a guy named Booster.

Dr Sivana

Dr Sivana Fri 13 Jul 2007 04:10:00 No.1249980 Report

Quoted By:

14:50 And Magnus grasped within his hands the sacred scroll.

14:51 Within this vassal was contained the secret of breathing life into that which was lifeless.

14:52 But yea, it was machine code.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 Jul 2007 04:11:00 No.1249991 Report

Quoted By:

4:78 And lo, thine are all fucked when doth Hulk gets back

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 Jul 2007 04:12:00 No.1250000 Report

Quoted By: >>1250034 >>1250048 >>1250058 >>1250101

19:73 - And it came to pass that there was a great cry from the masses.

19:74 - And they were united in one voice saying: "Mods, sticky this shit, as it is one of the breast threads seen in many moons!"

19:75 - And Mod, looking down on their cries, heard their words and said "Best. Typo. Ever."

19:76 - And yea, there was much lolling.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 Jul 2007 04:14:00 No.1250007 Report

Quoted By:

23:56 Ans so was written that Wiley Pete is the most fucking scary villain in history of villainy.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 Jul 2007 04:14:00 No.1250009 Report

Quoted By:

23:14 And it came to pass in those times, that there were footprints in Sue Dibny's brain.

23:15 And Dr. Mid-nite threw up his hands and said unto them "that's it. I'm done with this shit. Footprints in her brain, jesus FUCKING christ." And he doth stormed out of the room, for the whole thing was ridiculous.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 Jul 2007 04:15:00 No.1250015 Report

Quoted By:

How could one thread possibly hold so much win?

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 Jul 2007 04:17:00 No.1250028 Report

Quoted By: >>1250072

15:1 And behold came the Great Furfag known as Sage Freehaven. In the beginning he was nothing but another tripfag until he decided that /co/ was stealing his soul.

15:2 Thus began the First Freehaven Challenge. Furry porn appeared across the glorious lands of Mother /co/.

15:2 1/2 The /co/mrades look upon this and said, "Goddamnit Freehaven!"

dave's bleeding cunt !DkL6Lui5eI

dave's bleeding cunt !DkL6Lui5eI Fri 13 Jul 2007 04:18:00 No.1250034 Report

Quoted By: >>1250038

>>1250000

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 Jul 2007 04:18:00 No.1250038 Report

Quoted By:

>>1250034
HOLY GET

Nameless !2JF1umrU16

Nameless !2JF1umrU16 Fri 13 Jul 2007 04:20:00 No.1250048 Report

Quoted By: >>1250106 >>1250327

>>1250000

Fuck, the one time I forget to put my name back in after trolling /v/...

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 Jul 2007 04:21:00 No.1250058 Report

Quoted By:

>>1250000
Win GET. Sticky this shit. For it is the breast I have seen in many moons.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 Jul 2007 04:23:00 No.1250068 Report

Quoted By:

The gospel of Lobo:

1:1 Blessed are the space dolphins, for I will frag any bastich that harms them.

1:2 Even though the Main Man walks through the valley of the shadow of death, the Main Man fears no evil, for the Main Man has an understanding with Death.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 Jul 2007 04:23:00 No.1250072 Report

Quoted By:

>>1250028
>15:2 1/2 The /co/mrades look upon this and said, "Goddamnit Freehaven!"

I remember it being more "This shit is hilarious, how long can he go without the ban he fucking REQUESTED"

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 Jul 2007 04:23:00 No.1250074 Report

Quoted By: >>1250093

Lobo needs a MAX comic because "bastich" and "frag" are just fucking stupid.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 Jul 2007 04:25:00 No.1250089 Report

Quoted By:

12:50000 - And yae, it was seen that the GET was made of win and holy.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 Jul 2007 04:26:00 No.1250093 Report

Quoted By:

>>1250074

Bastich is a staple of the character even bigger than the ultra-violence.

Archbishop Lobo

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Feetal's Giz!

Archbishop Lobo Fri 13 Jul 2007 04:27:00 No.1250101 Report

Quoted By:

>>1250000

Hallelujah, my children! This thread has officially become an epic. Rejoice, rejoice I say!

And Sticky this fragging thread!

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 Jul 2007 04:29:00 No.1250106 Report

Quoted By:

>>1250048

12:48 - And yea, it was seen that the prophet Nameless was marked as the Bearer of the Holy Get, and that all his uploads, for there were many, were bug-free, and that all his typos were made of Win and Unintentional Lol.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 Jul 2007 04:30:00 No.1250116 Report

Quoted By:

53:1 - And yea, a Beechen did come unto the book of Robin, protege of the Bat Man. And he did write of the fate of Cain.
53:2 - But lo, good it was not, and sense it did not make. And there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 Jul 2007 04:34:00 No.1250137 Report

Quoted By:

>>1249772
That is not Optimus Prime.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 Jul 2007 04:34:00 No.1250139 Report

Quoted By:

I have saved this thread for breast win and future lol.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 Jul 2007 04:34:00 No.1250142 Report

Quoted By:

18:26 And on the ninth day, when all was at peace in the land of the comrades there came, a great flood.
18:27 Like the lightning, which flashes in the east yet is seen in the west it doth descend upon the land, like unto a hoary horde of rabbits
18:28 And Freehaven wept
19:01 As the creatures, with eyes that t'were the span of Beelzebub came closer, they were seen by one brave Anonymous to be the ancient Weeaboo. The plague that had existed before time began and had been expunged from the milk and honey of /co/ since the dawn of creation.
19:02 As the endless tide doth advance, verily the did kill and rape the woman folk leaving the internets forever barren of their kind. There would never again be tits. never again would there be the most coveted vagoo in the sacred lands, and there was much despair.
19:03 And lo, there was much despair, in the land of /co/. For 20 hours and 20 minutes there was nothing but the flood of large-eyes and green hair which drowned all of the goodness from /co/.
19:04 Then came forth the might Anonymous, son of anonymous, son of anonymous, son of anonymous.
19:05 son of anonymous, son of anonymous, son of anonymous.
19:06 And he did say. "Lo, my comrades! By brothers-in-arms! These assholes of a may be many, but they are many and scattered, like seeds on the breeze" Let us join together, in mutual love for all works of the Pen and of the Ink and of the Pixel and even of the Polygon!"
19:07 And Anon did forge this love into the great sword of Sage, and let the united army against the evil horde for the first, yet not final time.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 Jul 2007 04:34:00 No.1250144 Report

Quoted By: >>1250261

OP here, good job all.

1. http://4chanarchive.org/
2. click "request interface"
3. type 1248840 into the box
5. once enough people do it, you might find it again on above mentioned website latest after 48 hours
6. ???
7. Profit!!

Dr Sivana

Dr Sivana Fri 13 Jul 2007 04:42:00 No.1250209 Report

Quoted By:

31:7 Upon the eve of the millionth posting, there was much celebration and anticipation.

31:8 Although several factions set out to claim the get as their own, all were unsuccesful.

31:9 At first, it appeared as if the get had been claimed by Reducto, he of small stature.

31:10 But Reducto it was not, for though it bore his name, absent were any of the accompanying pictures of proff.

31:11 Only until the deed was long finished was the truth revealed.

31:12 Lo, a charismatic rogue named Hank Scorpio had kidnapped the precious post upon it's immediate arrival, irreversably marking it as his.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 Jul 2007 04:44:00 No.1250231 Report

Quoted By:

/co/'s book of genesis
chapter 6

and the son of jor el came down from the heavens, in his birthing matrix with a ship attached. and lo two simple farm people took him in as their child, and when he came of age, the power of a living god came upon him and he wrestled with many enemies and he took all women he wanted as his concubines to create a new race of humanity. they were called the kryptonese. first fell lana lang and lois lane, then he retconned punched in chloe sullivan and she became the first. then came powergirl and he filled her hole good. and he taught wonder woman the joy of real cock. and then he doth did beat down batman but blamed it on max lord.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 Jul 2007 04:48:00 No.1250261 Report

Quoted By:

>>1250144
It's now archived.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 Jul 2007 04:59:00 No.1250327 Report

Quoted By:

>>1250048

On the one hand, bravo, good sir, for achieving one of the best GETs in /co/'s short history. You truly do deserve to be Bearer of the Holy GET.

On the other hand, you're a fucking retard for forgetting to put your name in. Upload some comics ASAP and we might let it slide.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Fri 13 Jul 2007 05:42:00 No.1250599 Report

Quoted By:

>>1249539
31:13 - And /co/ was forever-more cautious in the presence of Hank Scorpio, for he shall sting you with his dreams of power and wealth.
31:14 - Be wary of the man Scorpio.
31:15 - For His twisted twin obsessions are his plot to rule the world.
31:16 - And his followers' health
31:17 - yea, he shall welcome you into his lair with good tidings,
31:18 - Like the nobleman welcomes his guest.
31:19 - Offering tithes of free dental care and a stock plan that helps ye invest!
31:20 - But beware of his generous pensions,
31:21 - and his offerings of three weeks paid vacation each year,
31:22 - And lo, on Fridays the lunchroom serves hot dogs and burgers and beer!
31:23 - Beware for the man Scorpio loves German beer!

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