>>3474049Cont'd
Now here's where the piss missed the rim, my friends. I, having poor experience with dildos, was dumb enough to assume my colon and intestines were dry as a desert.
>WRONG>SHIT, SHIT EVERYWHEREWell, really just all over the spoon, still had to clean it up, ALONG WITH THE SEMEN I SPRAYED ALL OVER these rubber mats we had down there.
So I'm cleaning up the semen with wet paper towels, trying not to make the water faucet make too much noise. After wiping my ass I cast the final stone
>I'm a lazy paranoid faggot, instead of taking two trips to carry all this shit upstairs I'll take it one>Laptop in hand and something else, can't remember>Wooden spoon between teeth like a dog bone, which, may I add, still has shit lathered on one end>Get up stairs without hassle, lower my guard a bit>Open bathroom door, spoon hits the wall next to my head>With a sharp clang the spoon strikes the groundSo besides the fact that I now have shit on the floor, I can hear my mom dead man sit up in bed, grab her glasses, and come pounding down the upstairs hallway. I throw all my junk in the bathroom, try to play it cool like I was taking a shit (fans fuck yeah) and take my time sulking upstairs in tired defeat It had been a long night.
When asked the next day
>Yeah...y'know the soap dish thingy? I dropped that.HOW DO YOU DROP SOMETHING YOU AREN'T EVEN SUPPOSED TO PICK UP SHTIFAKFLDAJ
Oh yeah, I was carrying Dial soap.
Note to anons: don't use dish washing soap. Your mouth ain't no faucet, you can't spit enough to mix that yellow goop in.
