A sailor told me before he died
(and I don't know whether the bastard lied)
He had a wife with a cunt so wide
She never could be satisfied.
So he invented a great fucking wheel
Attached to it was a prick of steel
With two brass balls that were filled with cream
And the whole fucking thing was run by steam.

Round and round went the big fucking wheel
In and out went the prick of steel
Until that maid, at last she cried,
"Enough! Enough! I'm satisfied!"

And now we come to the bitter bit -
there was no way of stopping it.
The poor girl was split from twat to tit
and the whole fucking issue went up in shit!

~1847 sea chantey~