/fit/ - Fitness » Thread #11034057

[109 / 23 / ?]

Anonymous !!5maaWn8myTu Mon 06 Feb 2012 23:47:00 No.11034057 View View Reply Original Report

>walk into mcdonalds
>order the usual (super sized big mac meal)
>add ice cream cone as a reward for getting a gym membership a few weeks ago
>start eating my food
>over hear some skinny fag talking about how he is working out and doing a bulk
>BULK
>ask him about it
>he is trying to eat more to gain weight
>this little fag is literally trying to gain weight and failing
>and people say its not genetics

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 06 Feb 2012 23:50:00 No.11034084 Report

Quoted By: >>11034127 >>11034283 >>11034322 >>11034545

>walking into walmart to buy food
>had 3 kids, so obviously i am a curvy woman
>knees hurt from walking, see open scooter
>see skinny old woman with a walker going towards it
>looks like she weights 20 lbs, has obviously never had kids
>nope.png
>walk as fast as i can, get there just before old lady
>sit down with a victorious weeze
>just thin fit-as-fitness muscle head walks over
>guy looks like he spends all day ever day in a gym
>asks me to leave for old lady
>point out the lady already has a walker, doesn't need a scooter also, she is just being lazy
>just then a worker comes over with another scooter that someone left out by their car
>old lady gets on it, scoots away
>i scowl at them and head over to coke isle

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 06 Feb 2012 23:50:00 No.11034092 Report

Quoted By:

>at chinese buffet
>see this guy on steroids there
>I'm on a diet so I only eat the fried rice and lo mein
>roider is filling his plate up with meat
>tell him that all that meat is unhealthy and will make him fat
>tries to argue that it won't lol dumbass
>walk away laughing "enjoy your meat, meathead"

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 06 Feb 2012 23:54:00 No.11034127 Report

Quoted By:

>>11034084

>wake up
>go on computer
>on /fit/ see girl's green text story
>no tits

† !!5maaWn8myTu

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† !!5maaWn8myTu Mon 06 Feb 2012 23:55:00 No.11034139 Report

Quoted By: >>11034213 >>11034223 >>11034326

>With group of friends
>Talking about eating
>Fat friend brags about being able to eat the most out of the group
>No one calling him out for being fat
>I challenge him to eating
>destroy him
>Say "whats the point of being fat if you can't even out eat me?"
>says nothing
>hasn't talked to me since
>fatties gonna fat
>mfw

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 06 Feb 2012 23:56:00 No.11034148 Report

Quoted By:

>join a gym as my new years resolution
>don't want to get big, just tone up for summer
>do some machines, then head to curl rack
>some roided fag is standing up and then crouching
>ask him what he is doing
>squats, a good-
>cut him off there, burst out laughing, asking him if he wants his knees to explode that bad why he doesn't just hit them with a hammer
>can't stop laughing, so can't finish work out
>slice of pizza as i leave, for protein

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 06 Feb 2012 23:58:00 No.11034177 Report

Quoted By: >>11034200

>In the grocery store, doing some buying.
>Tofupebble comes walking down the aisle.
>"Excuse me, sir, you seem to be blocking the entire aisle, could you suck it in for a second so I could jump through."
>Try to laugh at him, but only manage a halitotic wheeze.
>He gets the message and goes around like the bitch that he is.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 06 Feb 2012 23:59:00 No.11034200 Report

Quoted By:

>>11034177
>halitotic wheeze

ohgawdmahballs

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 00:00:00 No.11034208 Report

Quoted By:

>Strolling down the street, letting it all hang out
>Muscled meathead walks past me and chuckles
>I turn and shout "Hey meaty, if you wanted to be so meaty why weren't you just born as a chunk of meat?"
>He looks at me and tries to laugh it off before walking away
>For my victory feast, I eat 2 kilos of bacon rashers and a low-fat yoghurt (I'm cutting)

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 00:02:00 No.11034213 Report

Quoted By: >>11034253

>>11034139

Learn to read the red text in the OP pic, you dumb nigger.

Tripfags, not even once

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 00:03:00 No.11034223 Report

Quoted By:

>>11034139
alpha as fuark

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 00:06:00 No.11034253 Report

Quoted By:

>>11034213

These days they just inject the roids directly into their foreheads, haven't you heard?

Anonymous

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Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 00:06:00 No.11034260 Report

Quoted By:

>Doing du-kan diet or whatever shit fad diet is big this week.
>Co-worker hears me talking about it.
>asks "Why dont you just eat 500 cals below maintenance" as if my body is just some machine
>inform him that its not a healthy way to lose weight.
>Keep on eating shit and not doing any exercise
>Cry every week coz i cant shift my weight
>that feel when i will never have dat ass

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 00:08:00 No.11034283 Report

Quoted By: >>11034322 >>11034326 >>11034328

>>11034084
Having children is no excuse to be morbid you sick cunt

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 00:11:00 No.11034322 Report

Quoted By:

>>11034283

Fat shamer detected, didn't read.

>>11034084

I know right? I HATE those old people who think they're entitled to scooters that are designed for people with genuine disabilities! It it our fault that they're old? No! Old people should stay in their geriatric homes instead of trying to shop out here like normal people. For shame.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 00:11:00 No.11034326 Report

Quoted By:

>>11034139
>>11034283
>mfw idiots

Anonymous

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Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 00:11:00 No.11034328 Report

Quoted By:

>>11034283

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 00:13:00 No.11034347 Report

Quoted By:

>new scooter for christmas, trying it out
>thyroid condition, causes me to eat a lot and not exercise
>a bunch of starving people straight out of africa jogging towards me
>my joints are in pain just thinking about the damage they are doing to them
>they are covered in sweat and smell bad
>gross
>look away and see a slice of pizza stuck between my thigh and my seat
>eat it
>mfw they give me a weird look

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 00:14:00 No.11034359 Report

Quoted By:

> /fit/ friend has been doing muay thai for 6 months
> always going on about how it's super fun, but the first hour is all conditioning and cardio
> I smirk "Yeah, I'll come down for a class"
> Go to class, look around at all these /fit/ies "I can do this"
> Class starts with circuit training
> 20 mins in, I'm running out of class to puke
> Wipe mouth, go home and pick up some chinese takeout on the way

muay thai training is stupid. I dont even live in Thailand

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 00:17:00 No.11034384 Report

Quoted By: >>11034580

>Decide to finally get a gym membership
>Run on the treadmill at 4 m/h for 15 minutes
>Get off exhausted, walk towards the shower
>Some musclehead faggot says "WOW BRO, WHY DO YOU SMELL LIKE SUBWAY?"
>He's grinning from ear to ear
>Try to ignore it and walk past him
>He slaps my ass and says "I'll tap that shit in the showers"
>I leave the gym without changing and ride my vespa home crying.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 00:20:00 No.11034411 Report

Quoted By: >>11034468

>not sure why can't lose weight
>been trying for 3 days
>flatmate seems to eat this powdery shit with milk
>ask him about it
>says its protein powder, helps him look tonk
>mfw magic powder
>take out a tub of it while flatmate's out
>he's been encouraging me to lose weight, he wouldn't mind
>nearly finished with tub, can already feel the pounds falling off
>he returns, snatches the tub back and has a go at me
>wtf is with fit people and selfishness
>they want to be the only ones looking good
>go to bed knowing I'm a better person with more to love

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 00:20:00 No.11034413 Report

Quoted By:

>out at a club with my plus sized sisters
>wearing my new pink dress that accentuates my ample bust
>cute, toned guy in front of me around 8/10
>muster up my womanly charm and sashay over to his seat
>"Hey, hun. Wanna buy me a drink?"
>cute guy gives me a funny look, most likely a look of arousal
>"No need to take in my beauty all at once, I'm not going anywhere."
>I purr at him
>cute guy moves to the opposite end of the aisle, probably to ask the bartender to whip up a drink for me
>he doesn't return
>he was probably too shy to be around a real woman like me

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 00:23:00 No.11034437 Report

Quoted By: >>11034488

>Friend starts working out "to get strong"
>Exhausted after every workout
>mfw im stronger then because of this
>mfw i have no face

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 00:23:00 No.11034438 Report

Quoted By:

>doing cardio to lose weight
>gym dude says lift heavy weights bc it helps
>not looking to get bulky, I'm trying to LOSE weight, idiot.
>he tries to convince me some more
>excuse me I have a work out to continue
>fat burn zone achieved

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 00:23:00 No.11034444 Report

Quoted By:

>sign up for planet fitness
>only 10$ down 10$ a month for new year special
>go to gym once a week, more than ever before in life
>every monday
>monday is free pizza day at planet fitness
>more gainz than all the roided skinny fags around gym working out too hard
>jar full of tootsie rolls on checkin counter
>always able to replentish my energy immediately following workout

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 00:25:00 No.11034460 Report

Quoted By: >>11034515

>be real woman with big bones, around 300 lbs
>just bought a new bikini i can't wait to try out at a beach
>me and thick sisters laugh at some fake girl trying to swim
>yell "i thought sticks could float!"
>sisters laugh
>she yells back "look, a beached whale!"
>at that same point i get sand in my eye, and my eyes start to water
>people start to laugh, and my face starts to get red (from the sun)
>remember i left the ice cream out, decide to head home
>get chub rub between thighs from long walk back to car

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 00:26:00 No.11034468 Report

Quoted By:

>>11034411

>not sure why can't lose weight
>been trying for 3 days

starting loling there, I didnt stop

Anonymous

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Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 00:26:00 No.11034474 Report

Quoted By:

do I sense a case of...

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 00:27:00 No.11034479 Report

Quoted By: >>11034707 >>11035209

>decide to lose weight
>join zumba
>like every page possible relating to zumba on facebook so everyone knows I'm getting tone
>go once a month for a month
>gain weight
>genetics

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 00:27:00 No.11034480 Report

Quoted By:

>driving my car home from a long day at the grocery
>see a couple muscle heads eating salmon out of those sealed salmon bags
>HEY YOU KNOW THOSE HAVE MERCURY, YOU FUCKING IDIOTS?
>they look at each other like dumbasses
>when will those meatheads learn?
>continue to eat my low sugar jelly filled donut

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 00:28:00 No.11034488 Report

Quoted By:

>>11034437
I get this a lot. I'm a fairly big guy, and I can easily lift this skinny roommate of mine after a few tries. Meanwhile he can't even budge me when I get him to try to lift me.

Guy supposedly deadlifts "4 plates". What are those "plates" supposed to be, some kind of china dishes or something? He lacks real manly strength that I have. Poor weak fuck.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 00:28:00 No.11034498 Report

Quoted By:

>friends lose weight
>inquire how
>they go to gym every day
>start hanging out at gym every day for 2 weeks
>dont lose weight
>genetics

Anonymous

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Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 00:30:00 No.11034515 Report

Quoted By:

>>11034460

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 00:32:00 No.11034529 Report

Quoted By: >>11034674 >>11036014

>at gym with friends
>friends think they can lift more weight then me
>stand up
>lets see u deadlift 684lb that easy

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 00:33:00 No.11034541 Report

Quoted By:

>lumbering out of walmart with my essential nutrients
>used up all my foodstamps
>weezing due to have to push cart and walk through 10 isles (i'm not a fucking marathon runner)
>stop to catch my breath
>see a man smoking outside
>tell him how unhealthy that is
>he is making health care costs go up, and i am having to pay more taxes
>this beta has no logic, tells me to fuck off
>shake my head at this sad excuse for a man
>continue to handicapped parking to unload my stuff

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 00:33:00 No.11034545 Report

Quoted By:

>>11034084
Fat bitch.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 00:33:00 No.11034551 Report

Quoted By: >>11034569

>be at a bar
>toothpick guys trying to pick up chicks
>the women are clearly interested in a full-bodied MAN, not these skinny boys
>interrupt them
>excuse me, are you an archaeologist? bc I'm big boned and would like for you to inspect me
>she starts laughing
>she wants to fuck

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 00:33:00 No.11034552 Report

Quoted By: >>11038904

>at school
>some skinny faggot starts saying he's full but needs to eat more for his bulk
>maybe if you didn't go to the gym you wouldn't have a problem putting on weight i say
>people clearly don't understand that if you go the gym you can't put on weight.
>starts talking about some calamari in calamari out or something
>why is he talking about squid?
>ignore him, get back to my low fat milkshake and healthy low fat spaghetti-os
>He says ok i have to go work
>i'm really witty because most of my fat goes to my brain making me more cleverer
>i say 'don't you mean work out?'
>he says no, but that i should give it a try
>i explain to him that i do work out, i have 3lb dumbbells at home and i do sit ups sometimes
>he put his hand to his face, i think it was to scratch his roid acne
>he leaves
>continue eating, have to keep my metabolism stoked!
>reward myself with a donut because i burnt a lot of calories in that conversation, i moved around a lot to prove my point.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 00:33:00 No.11034554 Report

Quoted By:

>Working out at the gym with my buds
>In comes two shit-eating faggots
>One is a typical preppy hipster dipshit
>The other is a hairy, 5'6" manlet
>They skip from one exercise to the next, doing random numbers of reps
>While I'm resting between sets of squats, the preppy cunt steals the bar
>He tries to rep my current weight (90kg), fails and shuffles away quickly
>The hairy cunt laughs at him because "girls don't care about big legs"
>Hairy cunt leaves after about 10 minutes to check out the cardio bunnies
>Preppy cunt continues in the weight room doing "bicep routines" (dumbbell flies)

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 00:34:00 No.11034557 Report

Quoted By: >>11034628 >>11034787 >>11034863 >>11035022

>At new year's party
>Host orders like 10 pizzas
>Name is Peter, be 300lbs
>Everyone is too drunk to notice I've been putting pizza slices in my pocket, going into the bathroom, eating them and coming back for more
>10mins in, almost all the pizza is gone
>Got away scott free. Stupid drunks

mfw, this is a true story because I was the fucking host! mfw 4 different people saw him do this shit that night. mfw fat fuck denied it all, obviously.

Have another couple Peter stories, but I'll save them for a fat as fatass thread

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 00:34:00 No.11034564 Report

Quoted By:

>In a building bottom floor, need to go all the way up to the 3rd floor
>Waiting at elevator
>Finally comes and opens
>As I walk in notice a person in a wheelchair complaining that I'm using the elevator (he can't fit in because I have a bit of a thyroid problem and take up a lot of the room)
>Some muscle head steroid freak walking by says I should take the stairs
>I tell him that elevators were invented for a reason and I'm not going to lower myself to his plebeian status of walking
>That feel when he got told hard.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 00:35:00 No.11034569 Report

Quoted By:

>>11034551

That's actually pretty alpha.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 00:36:00 No.11034580 Report

Quoted By:

>>11034384

>Run on the treadmill at 4 m/h for 15 minutes

I bet fat people actually do call that running.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 00:37:00 No.11034601 Report

Quoted By:

>>11034502

I have no respect for people who think they're doing their own bodies a favor by eating so much protein in a day. I can understand if they at least gave their bodies what they really needed, like breads and pasta. But no, they think they know better than what the government's recommending us to eat! They instead choose to pump their bodies full of red meat, fish, and cholesterol-laden foods like eggs and cut out grains entirely! Can you believe their nerve?

One of these days we have to tell them what's what and convince them that they can't ruin their bodies like that. If worst comes to worst, all of us should resort to force-feeding them carbs if we have to; it's for their own good.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 00:38:00 No.11034611 Report

Quoted By: >>11034710

>go to restaurant with /fit/ friend
>we each order a meal
>he gets lmao1plate!!1!!111 of spaghetti
>i'm going for a PR today, with 4 plates
>40 minutes and 4000 calories later i am victorious
>people are staring at me with mouths wide open barely able to believe my dedication, i get a full helping of jelly for desert

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 00:39:00 No.11034618 Report

Quoted By:

>doing my routine with free weights
>some super fit dude comes in, starts doing his workout
>he gets a call
>says "hello" in the gayest voice ever
>clear from the tone of his voice and his words that he's having a fight with his boyfriend
>it's true: you must be gay to be super fit

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 00:40:00 No.11034628 Report

Quoted By: >>11034753

>>11034557

MOAR PETER

I wanna hear it from his perspective

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 00:40:00 No.11034638 Report

Quoted By:

>be a bit on the chubby side
>decide to lose weight
>besides doing light athletics, start to do zumba, cycle a lot, run, dance and swim
>going pretty well, manage to do them for a whopping week before giving up on the swimming, dancing and cycling
>eat like a narwhal every day, with cookies inbetween the meals
>started at 58kg, now at 61kg
>join even more Fat Mothers United groups like zumba and shit
>genetics

This is my classmate, a girl. Tried to convince her it's as easy as eating LESS than what you spend, not moving more than your joints can handle or whatever, she still says it's difficult for her and giving up sweets is hard. I mean, today was probably the fifth time since september she said she's giving up on eating white bread.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 00:43:00 No.11034674 Report

Quoted By:

>>11034529
First one to make me lol

Anonymous

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Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 00:43:00 No.11034684 Report

Quoted By:

>be on some website superfit people talk about
>always have a section about fat people stories
>all my rage

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 00:45:00 No.11034703 Report

Quoted By:

>Be at pizzeria
>See some skinny fag struggling to finish ONE Large pizza
>LMAO!!1!1ONEPIZZA
>mfw I easily consume 3 pizzas in a single sitting

Anonymous

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Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 00:45:00 No.11034707 Report

Quoted By:

>>11034479

>go once a month for a month

This right here? Gold.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 00:46:00 No.11034710 Report

Quoted By:

>>11034611
>he gets lmao1plate!!1!!111 of spaghetti

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 00:46:00 No.11034713 Report

Quoted By:

>Bought a training belt as seen on TV for losing weight and getting a 6pack
>Meathead flatmate tells me that is not going to get me visible abs
>He proceeds to talk about going to the gym to lose weight and then do crunches to train my abs
>Mfw he hasn't even seen the commercial, and that 1 hour of wearing the belt equals the same training as 600 crunches
>Also wtf @going to the gym, I want to lose weight not gain! lol
>He got told so hard he fell silent and dragged his genetically fortunate ass to his "gym"

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 00:48:00 No.11034730 Report

Quoted By:

>looking for diet plan
>friend gets all preachy and tells me doesn't matter what you eat as long as I eat less than a certain amount
>w/e you can't just eat whatever and expect to lose weight
>he says no really just count calories
>riiight says the guy with good genes
>find weight watchers
>works bc I can eat whatever I want as long as I don't eat too many points
>hfw I'm going to get fit my way

Anonymous

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Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 00:48:00 No.11034731 Report

Quoted By: >>11034790

>get done eating marshmellows (pure energy) go to gym
>doing curls, 1/4 rom so i can do the most weight and get much strongerer
>some douchey beta musclehead comes over and tells me that i should get out of the scwat(?) rack if i wanna do curls
>mfw
>tell him to go find some other scwat racket (or whatever) to injuct his stairoyds
>he walks off, puts a bar with metal roundies on each end, picks it up and puts it down
>lol what crazy exercises will these faggots come up with next?

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 00:50:00 No.11034753 Report

Quoted By: >>11034764 >>11035290

>>11034628

Alright

>Be at girl's party, I've liked this girl for ever. My /fit/ friend know about this. Same /fit/ friend who threw a delicous new year's party
>Everyone's getting on and socialising. Girl comes over to me and /fit/ friend. Starts talking to us.
> /fit/ friend is being really talkative with her, notice beer in his hand
>realise alcohol will help me talk to her

>wake up next morning and find out what happened. I got drunk, fell and smashed her coffee table and took a piss in the corner of the room while everyone was watching.

I kid you not, true story! Benefits of having a fattie as a friend while growing up

got a few Peter stories

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 00:51:00 No.11034764 Report

Quoted By: >>11035290

>>11034753

I love Peter

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 00:53:00 No.11034787 Report

Quoted By:

>>11034557

>Put pizza in your pockets

Wouldn't that make a colossal mess and ruin the pizza?

Anonymous

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Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 00:53:00 No.11034790 Report

Quoted By:

>>11034731
>he walks off, puts a bar with metal roundies on each end, picks it up and puts it down
>lol what crazy exercises will these faggots come up with next?

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Every_Day_Wear.jpg, 35KiB, 250x135

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 00:58:00 No.11034850 Report

Quoted By: >>11034925 >>11035153

>wear these shoes
>advert says it'll burn more calories than normal walking
>also says "perfect for people with a few extra pounds"
>squish my limbs into them
>stand up, new squat PR, 450lbs
>walk around with them to get the feeling
>sit down, read news about some earthquake in china a few seconds ago
>also read a recent study about running backwards burns more calories than running forward
>go outside
>run in the snow backwards
>smash head into a roadsign
>concussion, fall into snow, pass out
>28 hours later, right hand and left leg amputated due to frostbite
>150 pounds in a day
>2012
>still going to a gym
>ISHYGDDT

Tue 07 Feb 2012 00:59:00 No.11034863 Report

Quoted By: >>11035290

>>11034557
I also demand more Peter stories

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 01:02:00 No.11034892 Report

Quoted By:

>Can't go to the gym
>Too fat
>Have to be hot to go to gym
>Fat forever

Anonymous

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Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 01:06:00 No.11034925 Report

Quoted By:

>>11034850

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 01:07:00 No.11034939 Report

Quoted By:

>daughter invites a friend over
>friend is so skinny it pains me to look at her
>give her ice cream to put some meat on those bones, like my lovely daughter marge (8 years old, 140 lbs aready!)
>friend comes over everyday because her parents obviously don't feed her
>one day i meet her mom, almost as skinny as her daughter!
>mother comments about how her daughter has been getting bigger and doesn't want to play outside anymore, just eat ice cream and chocolate
>can't contain myself
>yell as loud as i can that she is starving her daughter, and forcing her to be outside in this cold weather
>get so worked up have mild heart attack (runs in the family, bad genetics)
>next day call CPS about this wyman, about how she starves her kids
>kids taken away and given to me
>mfw i have them both up 50 lbs since they left there mom
>mfw they will have much healthier lives
>mfw i just saved some kids

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 01:11:00 No.11035002 Report

Quoted By:

>In Walmart express check out with a whole basket full of food
>Extremely healthy looking daughter asks for candy
>Poor thing must be starving
>Say yes
>Daughter grabs like 5 bags of M&Ms
>Don't have to make dinner, and daughter keeps healthy figure
>Awesome parenting

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 01:11:00 No.11035007 Report

Quoted By:

>Go to walmart
>See one cart left
>Get on
>10 year old son wants to ride
>Not enough room
>See old man with missing right leg on cart
>Rush towards him at the speed of smell
>My fat rolls knock him out of cart
>Son gets on
>Man complains
>"You have a crutch, asshole. Besides, my kid has a disability."
>Let me guess, his fat rolls cover his eyes and he can't see how ugly he is. Right?
>Roll off in a huff
>Sue store for discrimination against large boned people
>Win enough money to buy food for a month (521,000 US dollars)

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 01:12:00 No.11035022 Report

Quoted By:

>>11034557
>>11034557
>>11034557
why the fuck did you invite him to your party>
why would any want would like to be a friend with fatfuck whos eating all pizza

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Jesika Rose 6.jpg, 40KiB, 537x720

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 01:13:00 No.11035024 Report

Quoted By:

Many of these stories gave me a good laugh, Good jobs gents.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 01:13:00 No.11035028 Report

Quoted By:

Guy with Peter stories here

I'll start a thread after I've eaten (need to stay fed) dedicated to what it was like growing up with Peter.

I fucking reiterate these are not fabrications! Anyone with a fat friend will tell you, lulz are had

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 01:17:00 No.11035086 Report

Quoted By:

>>11034057
>be dire bear mode
>been dirty bulkan for 24 years trying to get to a respectable 420lbs
>walking out of dunkin donuts on my scooty puff to see some 180lb scrawny faggot jogging on the side walk
>ohboyherewego.mpeg4 faggot runs passed me and sweat drops onto me
>bitch wants to start some shit, curse him out
>skinny fag justs keeps running pretending he didn't here me

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 01:21:00 No.11035118 Report

Quoted By: >>11035148

>go on a trip
>alread pissed i had to by 3 seats on the way up for just me
>next plane is really small, holds like 10 people
>captain says with me on they are over capacity
>yell that i will sue for fat shame, this is unamerican
>captain says he is sorry but he can't leave
>captain is by door telling me this
>shove him out
>close door
>get in cockpit and start to go towards runway
>mass panic from passengers
>don't worry, i play battlefield 3 everyday for like 5 hours, i know what to do
>plane is extremely unrealistic
>barely get it off the ground before i lose control and crash into a 747
>everybody on my plane dies, as they lack my cushioning
>never get on a plane again

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 01:23:00 No.11035148 Report

Quoted By:

>>11035118
>plane is extremely unrealistic

Fantastic example of fatass delusion.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 01:23:00 No.11035153 Report

Quoted By:

>>11034850
>150lbs in a day

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 01:24:00 No.11035156 Report

Quoted By: >>11035208

> never been hiking in real mountains
> this summer friend convinces me to go with him
> target is a ~3800m mountain
> he tells me he's ok with it if I don't make it, we'll go back as soon as I start losing breath
> turns out my body was ready, I can walk and talk all the way with heartrate around 110
> "expercienced" friend can hardly breathe at 3500m, his heartrate is 160
> I laugh my ass off

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 01:24:00 No.11035161 Report

Quoted By:

fuck I need to go to bed (different timezone), I urge everybody keep this thread alive for at least 20 hrs (12hrs working day ftw)!

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 01:28:00 No.11035208 Report

Quoted By: >>11036094

>>11035156
>be a real mountain
>see tiny hills and rocks looking up mirin
>get larger as i consume continental plates
>mfw men want a real mountain to climb on, not some little skinny tree

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 01:28:00 No.11035209 Report

Quoted By:

>>11034479

All of my knowing that feel by proxy.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO beth-ditto-lingerie.jpg, 36KiB, 390x490

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 01:35:00 No.11035288 Report

Quoted By:

This thread needs pictures of REAL women.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 01:35:00 No.11035290 Report

Quoted By:

>>11034753
>>11034764
>>11034863
>Peter
Totally nothing to do with Family Guy at all

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO fat-people-fatties-22.jpg, 32KiB, 500x396

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 01:36:00 No.11035303 Report

Quoted By: >>11035458

I know you mirin

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO tumblr_le5psyqyCY1qekqb4.jpg, 27KiB, 308x400

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 01:39:00 No.11035340 Report

Quoted By:

Stop obesity-ism! Rights for the fatties!

http://www.anorak.co.uk/227908/news/the-fat-and-obese-storm-london-mayor-boris-johnsons-offices.html
/

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO lingerie-model.jpg, 115KiB, 500x715

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 01:44:00 No.11035407 Report

Quoted By:

Dat fat roll guys, fap fap fap

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 01:47:00 No.11035458 Report

Quoted By:

>>11035303
dat ass

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 01:50:00 No.11035495 Report

Quoted By:

Beth Marinelli is 29 years old, 5 feet 4 inches tall ( about 1,72 meters) and approximately 350 pounds , that's about 180 Kg)
She is not always able to fit herself into theater or restaurant seats, or into train or airplane seats . She has to go to specialty stores to buy clothes. All of this angers Beth Marinelli. But what angers her most is New Jersey’s mandatory seatbelt law.
New Jersey drivers and front seat passengers are required by law to wear seat belts. The problem for Beth Marinelli is that car manufacturers don’t make seat belts large enough for obese people. As a result, people with weight problems are not required to buckle up like everybody else.
“Statistics show how much safer it is to be in an accident while wearing a seat belt “- says Marinelli -“The lawmakers are saying that if you’re fat, you don’t need to wear a seat belt - that it’s OK to die in a car accident. “ - “I’m not fat because I like it. I was born like this “ says she.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 01:50:00 No.11035507 Report

Quoted By: >>11035536

Marinelli talks publicly about the obese who face discrimination and has formed a group called HOPE - Helping Oversized People Everywhere - . But this is only one step in her attempt to get the same opportunities for overweight people as for “normal“ people. - “ I want they to change the anti-discrimination laws from “ You can’t discriminate on the basis of race , creed , color , or sex “ to “ You can’t discriminate on the basis of race , creed , color , sex , or weight “ - says Marinelli , she claims that she is forced to work as a cook at her brother’s fast food restaurant because her weight discourages employers from hiring her.
Social discrimination against the obese is very strong, according to Marinelli. She left high school because of constant jokes about her weight. But the cruel jokes and comments didn’t end with her youth. She recalls being out on a date with a young man and overhearing a woman say to a friend:
“What is that handsome man doing with that fat cow? “ (that wasn't polite, was it?)
One day Marinelli wants to write a book about her life .She’ll call it “Growing Up Fat in America”. She wants to warn young people who are overweight about what’s in store for them."

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 01:52:00 No.11035536 Report

Quoted By:

>>11035507
>"growing up fat in america"
> "growing up in america"

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 01:59:00 No.11035615 Report

Quoted By: >>11035639

MOAR Peter stories, dammit.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 02:01:00 No.11035639 Report

Quoted By:

>>11035615
>>11035619

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 02:03:00 No.11035650 Report

Quoted By: >>11035856

Peter thread has begun

Evo In HI !!qE0YbQnVlsO

Evo In HI !!qE0YbQnVlsO Tue 07 Feb 2012 02:13:00 No.11035789 Report

Quoted By:

>get new motorcycle
>people staring all the time
>rev at the ones who don't
>they mirin my new harley

newnewtrip !KMWbNBOP1c

newnewtrip !KMWbNBOP1c Tue 07 Feb 2012 02:17:00 No.11035836 Report

Quoted By:

im fucking dying at this shit xD

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 02:18:00 No.11035856 Report

Quoted By:

>>11035650
link? :]

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 02:33:00 No.11036014 Report

Quoted By:

>>11034529
>>11034529
lol, i can relate. Fucking "ooo i can squat 450!!" my response: shit, nigga I squat 400 everytime i get off the couch. pussy bitch

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 02:39:00 No.11036094 Report

Quoted By:

>>11035208
Beautiful.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 03:12:00 No.11036484 Report

Quoted By:

A day getting asthetic – part 1
>wake up and roll out of bed
>piss on the way to the kitchen, doing good, even washed my hands
>breakfast time huzahhh!
>butter and syrup with waffles underneath, pack of bacon, three egg cheese omlette, glass of milk and two glasses of orange juice make a healthy breakfast
>take a shower, scrub a dub get between the blub
>get dressed, need to take a break, why's it so hot in here?
>mom asks if I wanna go shopping today, sweet!
>snack time huzahhh!
>large bag of chips, 2 scoops ice cream and a diet coke because i'm watching my figure
>play some vidya, MW3 bitches .75k/d ratio! I should be getting paid to do this shit.
>friend calls me to come outside, go meet him and play some transformers and g.i. joe.
>mom calls to come home. lunch time huzahhh!
>Montana's fuck yeah!
>pulled pork with fries, gravy and mayo, diet coke because i'm watching my weight get seconds on fries with more mayo. Fuck the gravy here, it tastes burnt
>stop at the bookstore on the way home, ottermode 190lb mom gets me this book by some butterrippletoe guy, tells me to read it because it’s about working out, fuck that this guy looks like shit and I’m already doing wii fit
>starbucks in bookstore huzahhh!
>venti green tea frappuccino, girl at school said green tea is good for losing weight
>stop at gamestore, pick up wii fit pad because the last one broke
>want some nuggets huzahhh!
>mom won't stop at McDonalds, say's I'll ruin my supper
>get home, plug in for some more MW3, sneak a snickers and a coke out of my private stash huzahhh!

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 03:13:00 No.11036496 Report

Quoted By:

A day getting asthetic – part 2
>three rounds, straight trash talkin these noobs, do they even headshot?
>big brother comes home to visit, sits down with me and tells me some shit about me getting plump, asks me if I want to join a sport team with him, say’s I can pick whatever sport I want
>had to rage at him a bit for being an asshole. I’m doing wii fit, didn’t anyone tell him?
>mom calls suppertime!!! huzahhh!
>garlic spaghetti, meat sauce with meatballs, garlic bread and some green leafs which I'm sure are for squirrels, cranberry juice, apple juice and diet coke
>have a great meal, everyone so happy cause big brother is home and doing so well
>go back for thirds, mom you make the best spaghetti!
>too full for desert, too bad, apple pie, ice cream and butterscotch topping
>watch some tv
>tv's boring, time for vidya, boom headshot MW3
>friend comes over for two player ownage, say’s hi to brother and chill with parents for a bit
>be a gracious host, offer a snack
>friend accepts huzahhh!
>apple pie and ice cream, friend has butterscotch sauce but i skip it because i'm trying to lose weight, diet coke
>go wish brother a happy farewell; have to apologize for getting applesauce on his coat
>mom calls time to wash up for bed
>see friend off, wish him happy farewell
>wash up for bed
>mom asks if I want the hall light left on, tell her I’m too old for that but ask for glass of water
>mom brings glass and goes to bed
>water tastes awful, have to put sugar and juice crystals from my stash into it to make it palatable
>too excited to sleep, tomorrow’s Sunday and that means pancake and boar bacon breakfast with grits huzahhh!

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 03:40:00 No.11036849 Report

Quoted By: >>11037186 >>11037398

I'm fucking disgusted by the realisation that fat people probably think this shit.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 04:01:00 No.11037186 Report

Quoted By:

>>11036849
In my journey to lose weight I once had a co-worker tell me that the FDA was a scam and that "Human taste buds evolved so that nutritious food tastes best, all the requirement crap is just to fuel corporate interests". To him, if it tasted good then it was nutritious and healthy.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 04:16:00 No.11037398 Report

Quoted By: >>11037514

>>11036849
so you "realize" that they "probably" think this shit bc a thread is made mocking fat people? Does that mean you think these are really all fat people telling their fat stories?

sure is retarded in hurr

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO IMG00032.jpg, 444KiB, 1600x1200

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 04:20:00 No.11037455 Report

Quoted By: >>11037517

ARCHIVE THIS THREAD

http://chanarchive.org/request_votes

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 04:24:00 No.11037514 Report

Quoted By:

>>11037398

I'm envious that you haven't come into contact with any deluded fatties in your life.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 04:25:00 No.11037517 Report

Quoted By: >>11038656

>>11037455
>this thread has received 2 of 4 requests needed to trigger archival.
come on you fat fucks

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 05:57:00 No.11038619 Report

Quoted By:

bump

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 06:00:00 No.11038656 Report

Quoted By: >>11038741

>>11037517
>attempting to archive a thread with less than 100 posts

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 06:07:00 No.11038741 Report

Quoted By:

>>11038656
>100 posts

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 06:21:00 No.11038904 Report

Quoted By: >>11038978

>>11034552
> calamari in calamari out
my fucking sides

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 06:27:00 No.11038978 Report

Quoted By:

>>11038904

I lol'd too until I realized the poster made a mistake by having the fattie talk about rewarding himself after burning a lot of calories.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 07 Feb 2012 06:37:00 No.11039124 Report

Quoted By:

All of my rage is in this thread. Was in the fps threads, but you know at LEAST half of the stories in here have been thought at one time.

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