I have a co-worker who will never, ever do anything to better her life, but constantly whines and begs for advice on how to better her life.
>"Anon, how do I get rid of this?"
>She pouts and holds her enormous gut
>Eat less food, I say
>"But I hardly eat at all!"
>Then eat less than that.
>"I only have one meal a day!"
>Make that meal smaller.
>"I barely eat anything!"
>Literally have a smaller meal.
>"I don't exercise either."
>You work 12 hours a day on your feet; you're doing constant light activity.
>"Oh, so I'm fine."
>No, you're not fine, because you're not losing weight.
>"So why can't I lose it?"
>Because you're still eating too much.
>"I guess so. Does that mean no more snacks?"
>wat
>"I just have to have my chocolate, you know!"
>Well you're going to have to have less of it.
>"But-but it's like potato chips; you can never have just ONE potato chip!"
>Then don't buy a fucking bag of potato chips.
>"Whatever. I'll start my diet later."
Found out from another coworker that she buys massive amounts of candy and just utterly, utterly demolishes them. Also found out that she order a deep-dish pizza, with fajitas, with fries, which she ostensibly wanted to "share" with her co-workers. Big fucking surprise, no one else even had a bite of the thing.