Fat people stories? Fat people stories.

>be in phlebotomy class to get a better job
>nearly entire class is overweight
>two landplanets in particular are always doing fat things
>VY Canis Majoris and HAT-P-1 decide to draw blood from each other
>get everything prepared
>they can't fit in the procedure chair
>they move to a desk and VY Canis Majoris puts her gloves on
>tries to draw blood from HAT-P-1
>we only have 1 1/2 inch long needles, so they cannot draw anything
>"No one can ever get my blood. Don't worry."
>"Oh, me neither, nobody can find my veins. They're hiding."
>hiding under 1 1/2 inch of fat
>on your arm
>how the fuck do you think this is normal
>they aren't fucking hiding you are just fat

Today, we had a powerpoint slide that was a bit hard to read, so many of us scooted to the front.

>VY Canis Majoris notices the movement among the students
>gets up and rushes as quickly as she could to the front
>feel the building shake and bend under her girth
>is going for the massage table, the most comfortable seat in the house
>succeeds in her plan, gets there first, hops onto the middle of it
>hear thunder, wonder why there is a storm when it was 80 and sunny earlier
>oh god it's not thunder
>oh god she broke the table
>up front, a bewildered VY Canis Majoris is sitting between the pieces of the massage table
>"I.. barely even sat on it."
>"It must be poorly made.. "
>"I swear, I barely even touched it! Don't you believe me!"
>look to the teacher, back at her
>teacher tells her to go back to her desk
>she has to go to the opposite side of the room to go around all the tables to get back to her desk, because she cannot fit between two desks


It took everything I had to not burst into laughter and treats.